This is the talk I gave last Friday. It was interrupted by a very long
standing ovation after the first sentence of the second paragraph. I take that
applause not for myself, but for the spirit of self-sacrifice and determination
that led Wes and so many others to give their lives for their friends, a spirit
that is thriving in many of the rest of us.
As we gather tomorrow, friends of Karen Meredith, whose onlychild, Lt. Ken
Ballard, would have turned 28 on Thursday, will release 28 goldballoons south
of here in Mountain View. Ken was killed in action in Iraq on May 30, 2004.
While we were talking here yesterday, myfriend Karen was taking a trip to the
beach to yell at the sky, to tell God howangry she is.
My name is Nick Arnett and I am speaking to you on behalf ofan organization
that nobody wants to qualify for Gold Star Families forPeace. We are
families of soldierskilled in action, primarily in Iraq. Ihave a niece who
became a widow at the age of 21, last November 10thwhen someone in Fallujah,
Iraq fired a rocket-powered grenade at her husband,Lance Corporal Wes Canning,
United States Marine Corps. Wes was trading places in the turret of
hisamphibious armored vehicle with another young man named Wes, Wes Campbell,
whowas horribly and permanently injured, losing part of his skull.
A few days later I was in Friendswood, Texas, where Wes grewup, where he
enlisted in the Marines while still in high school because, hetold me, he
wanted to see the world. Just before Wes and Chayla were married, I asked him
if he would haveenlisted if hed known we would attack Iraq. He said he wasnt
sure, but he said that if he had known he would meetChayla, fall in love with
her and marry her, he never would have signedup. He had already served one
tour inIraq, with the first troops into Baghdad and Tikrit, and I told him that
Iknew, from working as a paramedic many years ago, what its like to
feelhelpless in a situation where youre supposed to be in control. When I
said the word helpless, our eyesmet and it was clear that although I barely
knew this young man in the ordinarysense, he was my brother in a way that we
dont have words to explain.
Wes volunteered to go back to Iraq. The young man who told me he wouldnt
haveenlisted if hed known he would marry Chayla volunteered to goback. This
made no sense to me until Idiscovered that that the part of me that is still a
paramedic is telling me togo there, too. While the rest of uswere observing a
sad anniversary on September 11th last year, Weswas on a plane to Iraq. All
day, Ithought, this time he knows what hes getting into. He was laying down
his life for his friends and there is nogreater love.
On November 12th at about 10:20 in the evening,our phone rang. It was for my
wife andI asked who was calling. Its Megan,calling for Chayla. Megan is
Chaylasbest friend. When you join ourmilitary, they ask your next of kin who
should come along if they have tonotify you. That was Megans job. When
Chayla had came home that Friday night,she was carrying a bag of baby
clothes. She and Wes didnt have kids, she wasnt pregnant, but there was a
sale,so shed bought some for when he came home because they wanted to have a
bigfamily. Chayla wanted to be a teacher,but shes not sure shell ever be
able to do that now, because whenever she isaround children, she cries.
A few days later, at Wes parents house, after we buriedhim, Chayla was
telling me that the Marines had asked her if she would like tobe notified if
and when they found any more pieces of his body because whenthat RPG hit him,
he was thrown 20 feet and blown to bits. One of my prayers is that some day
soon,Fallujah is a peaceful enough place that our family can go visit his
othergrave, the ground in the desert sanctified by the blood of Wes and his
friends.
If you are uncomfortable with the details Im giving, upsetby how much I am
sharing, let me tell you why I have decided to offer somuch. It is because we
are family andfamily deserves the truth. Painful truthwhen withheld keeps us
apart. When weshare our suffering, we create bonds of friendship and love.
You have come here in a spirit ofself-sacrifice, giving up whatever else you
could have been doing these fourdays. Although I disagree completelywith the
policies that sent Wes to Iraq, I treasure the spirit ofself-sacrifice that led
him to lay down his life for his friends. You have come here in the same
spirit and Ithank you for it. We honor those whogave it all when we let that
spirit live on through us.
I have a neighbor, Dolores, who begged her son Erik not tore-enlist after
9/11. But he did and onhis eighth day in Iraq, flying his very first mission,
an off-course helicoptercollided with the one he was flying and he was killed.
As a result, she had a chance to meet thepresident of the United States.
Shetold him how angry and unhappy she is about this
