RE: Having Dads makes you Happy
Deborah Harrell wrote: Only if you're Lutheran. Or Jewish. On the other paw, does anyone else recall wincing in remembrance when Mufasa said Simba, I'm *very* disappointed in you...? At that time, I was more Mufasa than Simba. Pre-historic Alberto Monteiro ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
RE: Having Dads makes you Happy
Dan Minette danmine...@att.net wrote: Dave wrote: JoAnn wrote: Maybe we should retitle this thread Having dads makes you happy? Throat clearing noises I know this list is androcentric, but, come on! ...and having Moms makes you (fill in the blank)? Guilty :-) Only if you're Lutheran. Or Jewish. On the other paw, does anyone else recall wincing in remembrance when Mufasa said Simba, I'm *very* disappointed in you...? Fear and guilt - kept me 'safe' (frex from becoming a teenage mother) for quite a while. And so what if there are a few neuroses leftover? I'm otherwise perfectly...um, nearly -- sometimes...typical. sigh Debbi Yes I Do Believe In Spooks Maru ;) ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
At 03:21 PM Friday 7/9/2010, Dave Land wrote: On Jul 9, 2010, at 12:49 PM, Ronn! Blankenship wrote: At 02:02 PM Friday 7/9/2010, Dan Minette wrote: -Original Message- From: brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com [mailto:brin-l- boun...@mccmedia.com] On Behalf Of Jo Anne Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 1:49 PM To: Killer Bs (David Brin et al) Discussion Subject: Having Dads makes you Happy Dave Wrote Maybe we should retitle this thread Having dads makes you happy? Throat clearing noises I know this list is androcentric, but, come on! ...and having Moms makes you (fill in the blank)? How about Having dads and moms in the same house and married to each other? And if the parents are Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? If that had been what I was commenting on, presumably I would have changed the plural in the Subject line to singular. ;) I had in mind more the conditions that lead to the need for such neologisms as baby daddy or other terms to indicate a parent who is little if at all involved in the lives of either the child or the baby mama(s) he impregnated. IOW, it takes a lot more than biology to be a Dad (which has been the point made by some others in this thread also. Indeed biology is not always even necessary: a couple who want a child enough to adopt one may be every bit as good parents as a couple who have their own wanted and loved biological child to whose well-being they are committed.) Dave Heather Has Two Mommies Maru There was a recent (announced this year, at least) study that seems to show that if Heather was born to two mommies who were already in a committed relationship when one of them became pregnant via donor she is probably as well-adjusted, etc., as Tiffany who comes from an intact two-parent (one of each sex) family. Of course I'm not the only person whose immediate conclusion was that the extra time, trouble, and expense involved in the conception via donor indicates that Heather's two mommies clearly planned for and wanted her. So the best thing for the kids is clearly to have their parents in the same house and committed to each other (in the words of the old the nursery rhyme, First comes love, then comes marriage, *then* comes a baby in a baby carriage.) and the kids rather than living on opposite ends of town or even in different cities or states and keeping the kids almost constantly on the run back and forth between them, even if they don't engage in the additional reportedly-all-too-common practice of each trying to influence the kids against the other. . . . ronn! :) ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
On 11/07/2010, at 11:40 PM, Ronn! Blankenship wrote: I had in mind more the conditions that lead to the need for such neologisms as baby daddy or other terms to indicate a parent who is little if at all involved in the lives of either the child or the baby mama(s) he impregnated. IOW, it takes a lot more than biology to be a Dad (which has been the point made by some others in this thread also. Indeed biology is not always even necessary: a couple who want a child enough to adopt one may be every bit as good parents as a couple who have their own wanted and loved biological child to whose well-being they are committed.) I have never met my biological parents. I know nothing about them (other than their genes were clearly awesome ;-) ) Dave Heather Has Two Mommies Maru There was a recent (announced this year, at least) study that seems to show that if Heather was born to two mommies who were already in a committed relationship when one of them became pregnant via donor she is probably as well-adjusted, etc., as Tiffany who comes from an intact two-parent (one of each sex) family. Of course I'm not the only person whose immediate conclusion was that the extra time, trouble, and expense involved in the conception via donor indicates that Heather's two mommies clearly planned for and wanted her. So the best thing for the kids is clearly to have their parents in the same house and committed to each other (in the words of the old the nursery rhyme, First comes love, then comes marriage, *then* comes a baby in a baby carriage.) and the kids rather than living on opposite ends of town or even in different cities or states and keeping the kids almost constantly on the run back and forth between them, even if they don't engage in the additional reportedly-all-too-common practice of each trying to influence the kids against the other. Yep, pretty much what I was saying a few posts ago. Parenting is about commitment, responsibility, love, and not a little bit of luck too. Single parents can do it too (and people seem too forget that single parents are just as often bereaved as unmarried, so there's no choice for a lot of them), but it's a lot harder to do well on one's own. Charlie. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
At 08:55 AM Sunday 7/11/2010, Charlie Bell wrote: On 11/07/2010, at 11:40 PM, Ronn! Blankenship wrote: I had in mind more the conditions that lead to the need for such neologisms as baby daddy or other terms to indicate a parent who is little if at all involved in the lives of either the child or the baby mama(s) he impregnated. IOW, it takes a lot more than biology to be a Dad (which has been the point made by some others in this thread also. Indeed biology is not always even necessary: a couple who want a child enough to adopt one may be every bit as good parents as a couple who have their own wanted and loved biological child to whose well-being they are committed.) I have never met my biological parents. I know nothing about them (other than their genes were clearly awesome ;-) ) Yeah, me too, on both counts. Dave Heather Has Two Mommies Maru There was a recent (announced this year, at least) study that seems to show that if Heather was born to two mommies who were already in a committed relationship when one of them became pregnant via donor she is probably as well-adjusted, etc., as Tiffany who comes from an intact two-parent (one of each sex) family. Of course I'm not the only person whose immediate conclusion was that the extra time, trouble, and expense involved in the conception via donor indicates that Heather's two mommies clearly planned for and wanted her. So the best thing for the kids is clearly to have their parents in the same house and committed to each other (in the words of the old the nursery rhyme, First comes love, then comes marriage, *then* comes a baby in a baby carriage.) and the kids rather than living on opposite ends of town or even in different cities or states and keeping the kids almost constantly on the run back and forth between them, even if they don't engage in the additional reportedly-all-too-common practice of each trying to influence the kids against the other. Yep, pretty much what I was saying a few posts ago. Parenting is about commitment, responsibility, love, and not a little bit of luck too. My real* parents did an extraordinary job, especially considering what they had to work with. __ *You will no doubt figure from this that whenever someone finds out I'm adopted and asks, So what about your 'real' parents? I always tell them that the parents who put up with me and sat with me in the ER and later the hospital room and who repainted the kitchen after a couple of experiments took the paint off the ceiling and one wall and ... are my _real_ parents. Single parents can do it too (and people seem too forget that single parents are just as often bereaved as unmarried, so there's no choice for a lot of them), Absolutely! I know at least one who not only had one of her own but took in foster children and adopted if I remember correctly three of the latter and raised at least the first one to college age before finding somebody and getting remarried a few months ago. but it's a lot harder to do well on one's own. Not least of the problems being simply earning enough to keep things going in a time when it seems more and more both parents have to work to make ends meet. . . . ronn! :) ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
RE: Having Dads makes you Happy
-Original Message- From: brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com [mailto:brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com] On Behalf Of Jo Anne Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 1:49 PM To: Killer Bs (David Brin et al) Discussion Subject: Having Dads makes you Happy Dave Wrote Maybe we should retitle this thread Having dads makes you happy? Throat clearing noises I know this list is androcentric, but, come on! ...and having Moms makes you (fill in the blank)? Guilty :-) Dan M. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
On Jul 9, 2010, at 11:48 AM, Jo Anne wrote: Dave Wrote Maybe we should retitle this thread Having dads makes you happy? Throat clearing noises I know this list is androcentric, but, come on! ...and having Moms makes you (fill in the blank)? Speaking entirely for myself, drawing on absolutely no stereotypes, and meaning no misogyny: … neurotic. Dave Equal Opportunity Offender Maru ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
RE: Having Dads makes you Happy
At 02:02 PM Friday 7/9/2010, Dan Minette wrote: -Original Message- From: brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com [mailto:brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com] On Behalf Of Jo Anne Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 1:49 PM To: Killer Bs (David Brin et al) Discussion Subject: Having Dads makes you Happy Dave Wrote Maybe we should retitle this thread Having dads makes you happy? Throat clearing noises I know this list is androcentric, but, come on! ...and having Moms makes you (fill in the blank)? How about Having dads and moms in the same house and married to each other? . . . ronn! :) ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
On Jul 9, 2010, at 12:49 PM, Ronn! Blankenship wrote: At 02:02 PM Friday 7/9/2010, Dan Minette wrote: -Original Message- From: brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com [mailto:brin-l- boun...@mccmedia.com] On Behalf Of Jo Anne Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 1:49 PM To: Killer Bs (David Brin et al) Discussion Subject: Having Dads makes you Happy Dave Wrote Maybe we should retitle this thread Having dads makes you happy? Throat clearing noises I know this list is androcentric, but, come on! ...and having Moms makes you (fill in the blank)? How about Having dads and moms in the same house and married to each other? And if the parents are Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? Dave Heather Has Two Mommies Maru ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
RE: Having Dads makes you Happy
How about Having dads and moms in the same house and married to each other? And if the parents are Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? I'd guess that it's probably going to be a greater challenge for Adam and Steve than Adam and Eve, on average. My closest friend from when I was growing up is gay and adopted, and there's been challenges that she's faced as a parent that I haven't. Dan M. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
RE: Having Dads makes you Happy
Dan Minette wrote: And if the parents are Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? I'd guess that it's probably going to be a greater challenge for Adam and Steve than Adam and Eve, on average. My closest friend from when I was growing up is gay and adopted, and there's been challenges that she's faced as a parent that I haven't. It's probably easier for a lesbian couple than for a male-gay couple to raise kids - most socio-cultural events require the presence of the mother, not the father. Alberto Monteiro ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
On 10/07/2010, at 6:21 AM, Dave Land wrote: How about Having dads and moms in the same house and married to each other? And if the parents are Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? Or Madam and Eve. It seems that two parent families on average do better than one parent families, but it doesn't really matter what the gender make-up is. There's some evidence that homosexual two-parent families do slightly better than heterosexual ones, but I suspect that's a self-selecting effect - it's a much more deliberate process to start with going out to adopt or IVF, so the parents have a larger stake in it than a lot of heteros who had an accident and now there's a baby. But I know single parents who are bloody brilliant and couples who are below par... C. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Having Dads makes you Happy
On Jul 9, 2010, at 6:31 PM, Charlie Bell wrote: On 10/07/2010, at 6:21 AM, Dave Land wrote: How about Having dads and moms in the same house and married to each other? And if the parents are Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? Or Madam and Eve. It seems that two parent families on average do better than one parent families, but it doesn't really matter what the gender make-up is. There's some evidence that homosexual two- parent families do slightly better than heterosexual ones, but I suspect that's a self-selecting effect - it's a much more deliberate process to start with going out to adopt or IVF, so the parents have a larger stake in it than a lot of heteros who had an accident and now there's a baby. But I know single parents who are bloody brilliant and couples who are below par... Quite so. The difference between individuals (and couples) is always far greater than the difference between stereotypes. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
