-Caveat Lector- : Subject: Computerisation (OT: Humour) : Date: Saturday, February 27, 1999 7:13 PM : : From : Joke du Jour (tm) Set 1. Volume 14; Issue 2. Feb 27, 1999 : : Ahh, computers, computers.... Some can't live with them, : wouldn't survive without them... : : : LadyHawke : ~*~*~*~*~*~* : : "You Know You're Too Serious About Computers When... " : : * You comment, while watching a sunset, that the : image would be enhanced with 10% more magenta : and a higher resolution. : : * When someone tells you about a great new : program and you're very disappointed to find that : it's on TV. : : * If while driving down the street, you are confused : by the numbers on the houses - they do not appear : to be legitimate WWW addresses. : : * When you find it easier to dial-up the National : Weather Service Weather/your_town/now.html : than to simply look out the window. : : * When you start using phrases like: : [EMAIL PROTECTED] : : * If you call in sick because you found a great new : WWW site. : : * If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by : heart. : : * If your fingers quit moving because you've been : online for 36 hours. : : * If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, : because you're exceeding 300 hours a month : connect time. : : * If on the way home from work, you use your : portable and cellular phone in your car, to reprogram : a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take : out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off. : : * When your desk collapses under the weight of : your computer peripherals. : : * If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window. : : To inquire about Advertising & Sponsorship write to : <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> : : When forwarding, please keep ABOVE section : of the *signature* INTACT. Thank you. : : : "Drug Dealer Or Software Programmer?" : A Career Comparison : : Drug Dealers Software Developers : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : : Refer to their clients Refer to their clients : as "users." as "users." : : "The first one's free!" "Download a free trial version..." : : Have important South-East Have important South-East : Asian connections. Asian connections. : (to help move the stuff). (to help debug the code). : : Strange jargon: Strange jargon: : "Stick" "SCSI" : : "Rock" "RTFM" : : "Wrap" "Packet" : : "E" "C" : : "Stash" "Cache" : : "Drive by" "CTRL ALT DEL" : : "Hit (LSD)" "Hit (WWW)" : : "Source" "Source-code" : : "The Pigs" "Microsoft" : : Realize that there's Realize that there's : tons of cash in the tons of cash in the : 14 to 25-year-old 14 - to 25-year-old : market. market. : : Your clients really like your Your clients really like your : stuff when it works. When it stuff when it works. When it : doesn't work they want to kill doesn't work they want to kill : you. you. : : Job is assisted by the Job is assisted by the : industry producing industry producing : newer, more potent product. newer, more potent products. : : When things go wrong, a When things go wrong, a : "fix" is just a phone call "fix" is just a phone call : away but may be expensive away but may be expensive. : : A lot of successful people A lot of successful people : getting rich in this industry getting rich in this industry : while still teenagers while still teenagers : : Their product causes DOOM. Quake. SimCity. : unhealthy addictions. Duke Nukem 3D. 'Nuff said. : : : : ~~~~~~~~~~~~ : A<>E<>R : : The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking : new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved : the absolute rejection of authority. -Thomas Huxley : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : Forwarded as information only; no endorsement to be presumed : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material : is distributed without charge or profit to those who have : expressed a prior interest in receiving this type of information : for non-profit research and educational purposes only. DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
