-Caveat Lector-
In a message dated 1/24/99 8:49:26 PM Mountain Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
writes:
While the rest of us chuckled loudly, I am sure that had this been seen by
David Kendall or Charles Ruff, they would have immediatly latched on to it
as *THE* explaination.
cheers,
Robert
The President absolutely did not engage in any sexual conduct with Miss
Lewinsky and will vigorously defend himself against such claims. However
the
President would like to state that it is possible that a perfectly
innocent incident has been twisted by right wing Republicans in order to
undermine his administration.
Mr. Clinton has said that there was an occasion when it was necessary for
him to adjust his clothing he noticed with some embarrassment that his fly
was undone. The President said that he unfortunately had some difficulty
with his clothing as his zipper got stuck.
Because Mr. Clinton has slight arthritis in his hands he found he could not
get the zipper up. He therefore, for medical reasons, was forced to enlist
the assistance of one of his staffers, who was Miss Lewinsky.
In the course of assisting Mr. Clinton, Miss Lewinsky had to kneel in front
of him to facilitate the operation of the zipper. For medical reasons Mr.
Clinton has been advised to wear no undergarments and it so happened, that
in their anxiety to end the embarrassment and rectify the
fly problem, that Mr. Clinton's penis may have fallen out of his trousers.
As Miss Lewinsky was grappling with his fly and felt sure that she nearly
had it, and did not want Mr. Clinton to be seen with his penis hanging out,
she took the presidential penis into her mouth so that it would
not be visible should anyone enter the room. Mr. Clinton was unable to use
his own hands for this purpose as he was assisting Miss Lewinsky by holding
her hair out of her face so she could properly visualize his fly.
It took some minutes for Miss Lewinsky to fix Mr. Clinton's fly, and it was
during this time that another staff member entered the room and apparently
completely misconstrued the situation.
Mr. Clinton would like to reiterate that there was nothing unusual about
his
working relationship with Miss Lewinsky. He did say however that as he had
trouble with his fly on a number of occasions, necessitating Miss
Lewinsky's repeated assistance, he was considering changing his tailor.
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Om
