-Caveat Lector- <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/"> </A> -Cui Bono?- http://www.aci.net/kalliste/ Click Here: <A HREF="http://www.aci.net/kalliste/">The Home Page of J. Orlin Grabbe</A> ------ The Search for Beautiful Teeth Las Vegas Prostitutes Eagerly Await Dentists' Convention Innovations in cavity filling. LAS VEGAS--With the New Jersey Dental Association's annual convention less than one week away, excitement is building among the city's prostitutes. The four-day event, which will bring some 1,500 New Jersey dentist-johns to the Las Vegas MGM Grand Hotel, is expected to pump an estimated $75,000 into the local streetwalking economy. "This is the big one," pimp Marlon "The Pearl" Evans said. "We don't see this kind of action from anyone else all year--the electronics-industry convention, the auto show, insurance seminars, no one. The average car dealer or pet-store owner in town for a convention might treat himself to a piece if he thinks he can spare it, but he doesn't have what we in the business call 'dentist money.'" "The dentists' convention is where we pull out all the stops," said Lucy Calhoun, owner of Juicy Lucy's, a popular Vegas-area brothel. "The average dentist has an unusual combination of cash and low self-esteem that makes him an ideal customer." Across the city, prostitution-sector employees are scrambling to make last-minute preparations for the anticipated rush. Madams are breaking in new girls, pimps are setting out extra strings of whores, and bordellos are putting up partitions in the pool rooms and throwing extra mattresses on the billiard tables. Most prostitutes will pull longer shifts beginning Wednesday in preparation for an expected 200 percent increase in tricks. "I'm definitely going to have to put in some overtime when those dentists hit town," area hooker Candi Walters said. "I swear, when those guys were here last year, my feet hardly touched the floor for about four days straight." Prostitutes have long known that the average dentist, while earning almost $60,000 per year, is not generally respected by the public at large. Neither an admired craftsman nor a full-fledged member of the medical community, the dentist, more than anyone short of the chiropractor, uses conventions as an opportunity to purchase emotional gratification in the form of sex. If previous years' figures hold true to form, Las Vegas prostitutes can expect to serve an average of 15 dentists per day during the four-day convention. And while some dentists may request special treatment--such as bondage, menage a trois, or unusually young girls--sex-trade insiders say a majority of services rendered will likely consist of half-hour sessions of conventional, one-on-one, missionary-position intercourse. "It's strange, really," said Cherry Caldwell, who will be working her seventh NJDA convention. "Most guys want something a little kinky when they come to Vegas--something they can't get from their wives or girlfriends. But not the dentists. It's almost as if it's enough for them just to have sex with a girl." "All in all, the dentists tend to be a pretty conservative bunch," prostitute Sapphire Jones said. "A lot of them do like to talk dirty, though. They'll say stuff like, 'I'm gonna drill a few holes,' or 'This won't hurt a bit, baby.' And when you suck them off and they come, they love to tell you to spit." "They really respond to Las Vegas' unique energy," said MGM Grand hospitality director Patrick Worthington. "There's just something about this town's $3 all-you-can-eat prime-rib specials, cheap drinks, and easy, 24-hour access to a wide variety of prostitutes that just says 'dentist.'" The NJDA dentists agreed. "Look out, Vegas," said convention organizer and Mahwah, NJ, orthodontist Harold Stemmer. "The dentists are coming to town to fill a few cavities, if you know what I mean, and there are some lucky girls out there who are going to be a few dollars richer if they play their cards right." The Onion, February 2, 2000 Self-Fulfilled Reality Bomb Vienna Now! US, Israel create a new boogeyman. VIENNA - The diplomatic sanctions and protests against the new conservative government of Austria have reinforced a view by many abroad that Joerg Haider's xenophobic Freedom Party is the reincarnation of the fascist movement that brought the dictators Hitler and Mussolini to power in the 1920s and 1930s. Here in Austria, however, even Mr. Haider's opponents have mixed feelings about his party and the backlash against it. Many Austrians are disturbed by his far-right party achieving power, because its anti-foreigner sentiments echo the Nazis' racism and because Mr. Haider's commitment to democracy is open to question. Still, Austrians are even more alarmed by the reaction in Europe and the United States, which they believe will only boost support for Mr. Haider's xenophobic movement, according to political commentators and other observers here. ''You foreigners are making him into a hero and a martyr,'' said Christa Troger, an antiques dealer in Vienna's historic central district who opposes Mr. Haider. ''The best thing would be to let him make mistakes and fail to live up to his promises so he will lose his popularity. But now our friends abroad are forcing Austrians to stand behind him.'' Hundreds have demonstrated elsewhere in Europe both for and against the new coalition government. But the international campaign by the United States, Israel and European Union countries to isolate Austria by severing political contacts already shows signs of raising Mr. Haider's stature. Polls indicate that if elections were held now, the Freedom Party would emerge as the largest in the land with 33 percent of the vote, up from 27 percent in the general election in October. ''He is neither a neo-Nazi nor a fascist, but rather an unscrupulous opportunist and populist,'' said Christoph Kotanko, an Austrian political commentator who has closely watched Mr. Haider's rise over the years. ''Anybody who has followed his career knows this, but the outside world prefers to stick with the mistaken caricature that Haider is another Hitler.'' The striking gap between Austria and abroad in judging the Haider phenomenon reflects a profoundly different appreciation of his origins and his character. While foreign governments perceive Mr. Haider as a far-right demon beneath a sharkskin-smooth personality and media-savvy style, Austrians regard him as a populist firebrand who gives voice to their anxieties about being overwhelmed by immigrants and surrendering their national sovereignty to an ever-expanding EU. Blue-collar Austrian workers see Mr. Haider as an ardent defender against immigrants who would steal their jobs by accepting lower wages. And upwardly mobile young people view him as a plucky and charismatic rebel battling a decadent ruling establishment. ''Haider's appeal is that he says what many people think,'' said Andreas Kirschhofer, a political pollster. ''There is much latent skepticism in Austria toward immigrants and the European Union, and I fear this will grow in the years to come. Haider is well aware of this discontent, and he has proved more clever than other politicians in exploiting it.'' While the outside world considers him a pariah for his controversial endorsement of Nazi labor policies, his opposition to bringing eastern states into the EU and his anti-immigrant diatribes, Mr. Haider has ridden the latest wave of criticism to whip up nationalist fervor on his behalf. Denouncing what he calls the ''hypocrisy'' of foreigners intruding in Austria's domestic politics, Mr. Haider castigated the decision by the 14 other EU countries to sanction a fellow member state as ''a massive offense to all honorable democrats and decent citizens of Austria.'' He said the new government ''will put to shame all those who prematurely condemned us and tried to promote prejudice.'' Many Austrians complain they have been unfairly singled out for political ostracism. They note that Italy did not suffer the same fate in 1994, when a conservative government headed by the media impresario Silvio Berlusconi included two rightist groups, the separatist Northern League and the National Alliance, widely viewed as the heirs to Mussolini's Fascists. Nor did France endure any criticism when hard-line Stalinists from the Communist Party joined the government. Mr. Haider will not occupy a cabinet post and intends to keep serving as governor of the southern province of Carinthia. But he has never concealed his ambition to become chancellor. If his party's support continues to grow and he believes the moment is ripe to topple the government in favor of early elections, some analysts say he will not hesitate to do so. Mr. Haider's penchant for shifting his stance on policy and history, while making what seem to be unpardonable gaffes and then apologizing for them, appears to have served him well by confusing his opponents and making him difficult to pin down ideologically. Yet those who have worked closely with him also say he possesses a ruthless streak and an intolerance for dissent that make his commitment to democracy questionable. Heide Schmidt, a former close associate who ran for president with Mr. Haider's support but broke with him in 1993 because of his sympathetic remarks about Nazis and his virulent hostility to foreigners, said the international reaction is justified because Mr. Haider is ''a wolf in sheep's clothing'' who will do anything to satisfy his lust for power. International Herald Tribune, February 7, 2000 Gold Market All Eyes on Gold After $23 Jump Placer Dome pulls its hedges. The gold price is expected to come under the spotlight today following Friday's spectacular leap from $287 an ounce to $310 in the final hour of trading in New York. The trigger for the rise was an announcement by Placer Dome, Canada's second largest gold miner, that it was suspending its gold hedging activities "in expectation of improving gold market sentiment and reduced producer hedging". The decision will remove more than 2m ounces of gold that would have been sold into the market this year. "After a $23 move some market participants will be scurrying to cover their positions," said analyst Andy Smith at Mitsui in London. His view was supported by other analysts in South Africa and North America. Chris Thompson, chairman of Gold Fields, South Africa's second largest gold miner, predicted that the price would rise sharply in the short term before settling. "It's the beginning of a new era for gold," he said. Large forward sales of gold by producers last year, hedging against possible price falls, have been blamed for accelerating the fall in the price to just above $250 last summer. Jay Taylor, Placer's new president, said: "We believe it is time to adjust our approach. We will continue to manage our existing position, but we want to be clear about the need for industry to show leadership and confidence in gold." Analysts are waiting to see whether today's scheduled annual strategy statement from Barrick, Canada's largest gold miner, shows any move towards the anti-hedging camp. The gold mining industry has become increasingly polarised into "hedgers" and "anti-hedgers" since the sharp price rise at the end of September 1999 pushed Ghanaian miner Ashanti to the brink of default. The Financial Times, February 7, 2000 ----- Aloha, He'Ping, Om, Shalom, Salaam. Em Hotep, Peace Be, All My Relations. Omnia Bona Bonis, Adieu, Adios, Aloha. Amen. 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