-Caveat Lector- TEAM USA vs. YUGO/RUSSIA IN "WRESTLE-MANIA" =========================================== (CNNS, 04/11/99) -- This news service sees a possible link between the late-starting basketball season in the U.S. and the escalating war in Yugoslavia. Sports-starved Americans are being compensated for their winter sports-withdrawal sufferings with an added Spring/Summer athletic contest, called "War." This added Spring/Summer entertainment is being packaged as a sort of Wrestle-Mania. "The NATO assault has been conducted as though we're attacking just one individual, not an entire population... It's the one-man theory of the nation-state. And its effect is to eliminate both the psychological impact of nationalism and the guilt produced by civilian causalities since civilians don't fully exist under this theory," says Barbara Ehrenreich, author of *Blood Rites: Origins and History of the Passions of War*. [1] Besides "Hitler Milosevic," another cartoon character has been added to the Wrestle-Mania scorecard, "The Dread ARKAN." Another colorful wrestler, for now off-stage, is "Beer-Belly Boris (Yeltsin)." (Since his name is Boris, an off-chance is that he can be paired with a lady wrestler named "Natasha." Maybe "Natasha" can fight it out with "Animal Albright.") Ehrenreich's "invisible civilians" are like the fans at a wrestling match, in the dark mostly, but somehow adding to the excitement. These invisible civilians, like all good sports fans, "are all too real and united behind Milosevic like never before," writes Arianna Huffington. [2] In America, though, about half of our invisible civilians, according to polls, have not yet caught the sports fever needed to ensure success for the planned Spring/Summer entertainment. Score one for "Hitler Milosevic," who for the moment occupies the moral high ground due to his body-slam appeal for an Orthodox Easter cease-fire. Sports commentator Nicholas Gage, author of a book describing the Greek civil war, is aghast: "How can [Team USA] not see the opportunity they are missing to show to millions of Orthodox that their spiritual sensibilities are as honored as the Islamic ones were during Ramadan?" [3] Sports commentator Heather Wilson, a New Mexico congress-critter, also gives a point to "Hitler Milosevic": "Thus far, our strategy in the Balkans has failed to achieve our political objectives...(and) it has accelerated the human disaster in the Balkans," she says. [4] So, based on the judgements of Wilson and Gage, the score now stands Yugoslavia 2, Team USA 0. This editor believes, however, that if Bill Clinton were to don a Superman outfit for his next press briefing, Team USA could score a point in the ongoing contest. However, at this point, it looks bad for Team USA. Looming from off-stage, projecting himself into center ring, "Beer-Belly Boris" is flexing his muscles, belching loudly, and intimating his strength. Interviewed at ringside, Boris growled that, "I told NATO, the Americans and the Germans: do not push us into military action, or there will definitely be a European, and possibly a world war." [5] ("NATO" is the mask worn by Team USA.) Adding to the growing excitement are comments from Alexander Solzhenitsyn, winner of the Nobel Prize in literature. Since fewer and fewer read books these days, Solzhenitsyn may be pre-positioning himself for a possible job as sports commentator when he says, "NATO has proclaimed to the whole world: 'Might is right, those who are strong are always right.' NATO proclaimed the ancient law that whoever is strongest is right for all the world to hear. This is the world in which we have to live in from now on." The bearded author, who denies being part of any "tag team," went on to protest the "destruction of a beautiful country in full view of humanity, while civilized governments applaud this." [6] Yet there *is* an emerging "tag team" (though it appears indeed that Solzhenitsyn will more likely serve as sports commentator than as a member of any "tag team.") "Beer-Belly Boris," according to a UPI report, may unite Yugoslavia, Belarus, and Russia into a unified team. "In what could turn out to be a stunning development of the Balkan crisis, the speaker of Russia's State Duma says Russian President Boris Yeltsin is seriously considering a proposal made by Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic to form a full political union among Russia, Belarus and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia." [7]. Such a development would spell trouble for Team USA, since a Russia/Belarus/Yugoslavia (RBY) link-up could field many more wrestlers than now fielded by the lone Yugoslavia. Of course, the new sport's season is young. But preliminary indications are that Yugoslavia will be fielding a much stronger group of wrestlers than Team USA had anticipated. And already, sales of beer and hot dogs are skyrocketing as U.S. sports fans look forward to an exciting summer -- though privately it is admitted that beer/hot dog sales have not increased as much as had been forecast. As noted, many American sports fans are showing lackluster interest in the Spring/Summer International Wrestle-Mania. A massive advertising blitz by USA mass media has thus far failed to garner widespread enthusiasm for the event. ---------------------------<< Notes >>--------------------------- [1] Barbara Ehrenreich, qtd. in "Easter Cease-Fire: Charade Or Sacred?" by Arianna Huffington, 4/8/99. [2] "Easter Cease-Fire: Charade Or Sacred?" by Arianna Huffington, 4/8/99. [3] Nicholas Gage, qtd. in "Easter Cease-Fire: Charade Or Sacred?" by Arianna Huffington, 4/8/99. [4] "GOP pushes for Kosovo answers." UPI, 4/10/99. [5] "Yeltsin warns of European, world war." UPI, 4/9/99. [6] "Solzhenitsyn denounces NATO action." UPI, 4/9/99. [7] "Report: Yeltsin considering Yugo union." UPI, 4/9/99. -- CNNS (Conspiracy Nation News Service) is an INDEPENDENT news outlet, not owned by anyone. (But of course, we would say that, wouldn't we?) BEWARE THE CFR! BEWARE THE CIA! BEWARE THE KNIGHTS! http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cnns.html DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om