Re: g_b Any good Counsellors in delhi for gay counselling ?
I agree with you completely.:-) --- Manoj [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Dear I, one thing which nearly always works (an i hate to say this) is mothers luv we wretched children a bit too much and inspite of the child turning out to a fucked up criminal, she does not act aka Nargis in Mother India. Chances of her severing ties are low .very low. especially if our guy in question is the only son and it is not a huge family kinda affair at his end. I believe there will hardly be any cases anyone can say that their mothers threw them out of their houses and severed ties when they came out to thembrothers and fathers maybe (more becoz of the male ego here) but mothers .. naw...hez safe (sounds so bad and oppresive ... yes...but a fact). What normally does happen is that the mom, believing it to be in the best interest of her son from her point of view, will keep on coercing him to change and try to get married (ek baar kaushish to kar ke dekh le stuff), try a lot of emotional blackmail (and they r the masters in this anydayask daddy) Not often has this led to the gay guy in question succumbing and spending his life thinking yeh kya kiyaa maine. Hence counselling if any is needed by ur friend. Naz (lajpat nagar) runs a phone helpline as well as a counselling centre. he may drop in. Better if he interacts with groups active in Delhi where he can get to know people who have been through these kinds of issues and know the pitfalls. There is a good group (gays and lezs both) which meets each sunday at Nehru park (NOT for cruising inspite of the fame the place has) for just a walk/jog. The mom, in her luv and her belief for what is right and best for her son, will really gain little for any counselor per se. The only help a mom can get and i say it from experience. is if she gets to know that there are other families which have similar kids and have accepted them and the fact that her child is thinking and working on SETTLING with a guy whi will be there with him thru thick and thin both these are beyond what u and a counselor can provide for now so better work on the earlier part. Rgds Manoj icarius_slade [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Hello friends, Recently, one of my gay friends (who is in his early thirties) came out to his mother and, as is the situation in most cases, the mother has not taken to it kindlymy pal thinks that worse-cum-worse,she may even sever her ties with him, a thought which shatters him as he is very close to her. He does not have a father. He doesn't have any pillars of support in his immediate family or friend circle who can stand by his side.Even though my friend is putting up a brave front, I know that he requires assistance. Sitting in Bby, i can't do anything, but for just being by his side on the phone as much as i can. In view of the foregoing, can anyone please give me the names contact details of some good counsellors in Delhi (preferably south delhi), who'd be able to counsel the mother-son duo? More then the son, the mother requires it, from whatever i could gather, to get to terms with this revelation Thanks in advance to everyone. Regards, I Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com Best Jokes, Best Friends, Best Food and more. Go to http://in.promos.yahoo.com/groups/bestofyahoo/
g_b We’re just about tolerated: Pakistani American gay activist
We're just about tolerated: Pakistani American gay activist April 14th, 2008 - 10:52 am ICT by admin - [image: Email This Post]http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/were-just-about-tolerated-pakistani-american-gay-activist_10037683.html/email/ Email This Posthttp://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/were-just-about-tolerated-pakistani-american-gay-activist_10037683.html/email/ By Ashok Easwaran Chicago, Being an openly gay Muslim is not easy, says Pakistani Americanhttp://amazon.com/gp/product/B0010JWVL6?ie=UTF8tag=thainindiaint-20link_code=em1camp=212341creative=384049creativeASIN=B0010JWVL6adid=7524100c-0fa2-42fd-a8ca-ae7bc7b1bc24poet and activist Ifti Nasim who is now the subject of a BBC documentary. Ever an iconoclast, Chicago-based Nasim has on several occasions outraged the Muslim community through his poetry and columns. Accolades have been a little late in coming to him, but Nasim expressed his pleasure at the latest honour - the BBC film. Success makes the world accept you on your own terms, said Nasim. But being an openly gay person in the conservative Muslim communityhttp://amazon.com/gp/product/B000RRQW3U?ie=UTF8tag=thainindiaint-20link_code=em1camp=212341creative=384049creativeASIN=B000RRQW3Uadid=dff553bf-1137-407c-acba-6df85a393286has not been easy. They never totally accept you, the 50 plus Nasim told IANS, they just about tolerate you. In 1996, Nasim was inducted into Chicago's Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame. His works are recommended reading at Santa Clara Universityhttp://amazon.com/gp/product/142740125X?ie=UTF8tag=thainindiaint-20link_code=em1camp=212341creative=384049creativeASIN=142740125Xadid=011541a1-f5aa-4e0e-b089-86c49f3e2574in California and at Truman College, Chicago. His Urdu poetry has won him the grudging respect of the Pakistani literary establishment. He has also recited his poems at the festival in India to honour the late poet and lyricist Sahir Ludhianvihttp://amazon.com/gp/product/8176500305?ie=UTF8tag=thainindiaint-20link_code=em1camp=212341creative=384049creativeASIN=8176500305adid=392a116e-d025-4d81-a51a-a40ce7148781 . Nasim talks about his childhood in Pakistan and the discovery that he was gay. I had the middle son syndrome, he said, as one of a large family, I was the invisible child. Naturally enough, loneliness was an early and constant companion. When I was 14, as a child whom no one loved, I sought other avenues to fulfil my desires. I ended up having a crush on my teachers. None of them gave me a second look. So I created this phantom lover to have secret trysts with, said Nasim. Seeking to escape from an arranged marriage, Nasim came to the United States when he was 21. I read an article in Life magazine, which said that the US was the place for gays to be in, he said. Moreover, I was also seeking an escape from the mullahs in Pakistan. Nasim has no qualms about making statements which outrage fellow Pakistanis. Their initial attitude towards me was of total rejection. But after 9/11, when I got increasingly involved in activism on behalf of the community, they have come to a grudging acceptance, he said. The sceptics include his family members. I respect his views, says his brother-in-law good-humouredly. He has earned the respect he has today. But I wish he was a little more modest (about being gay). Nasim, who had already established himself as an Urdu poethttp://amazon.com/gp/product/817167349X?ie=UTF8tag=thainindiaint-20link_code=em1camp=212341creative=384049creativeASIN=817167349Xadid=9fd7a0f4-c2e0-4ef8-87cd-cbf77aa7ecceof some repute, shot into fame with the book Narman (Persian for half man, half woman). The manner in which Nasim's verse was published in Pakistan underscores its controversial nature: Because Nasim's publisher knew that there might be trouble having the manuscript typeset, the publisher stood over the printer's shoulder as the text was entered into the computer. The real nature of the manuscript was not evident to the printer until the books were printed. When the printer realized that the books dealt with gay-related themes, he screamed: Take these unholy and dirty books away from me, or I'll set them on fire! Because of the controversy, the work is being sold underground. It has generated a surreptitious market. For long, Nasim was a star salesman for a Mercedes dealer in Chicago and drove a trademark gold Mercedes. He has since quit the job to devote himself full time to writing. The money was good, he said, but each day I found my soul dying a little. Besides being a columnist, Nasim is the host of Radio Sargam, which gives him an opportunity to indulge in his love of music. I love old songs he says, they are my lullabies. Kishore Kumarhttp://amazon.com/gp/product/B0009N7PXS?ie=UTF8tag=thainindiaint-20link_code=em1camp=212341creative=384049creativeASIN=B0009N7PXSadid=d6cc57bb-eece-41a4-a250-fa5b8d075fac, Noor
g_b Forgiveness
I read this article last night about forgiveness in relationships and it set my mind thinking. I was working on a new project with a friend recently and we were talking about forgiveness as one of the important qualities of a person. According to dictionary.com, forgiveness means the act of forgiving and to forgive means to grant pardon for, to grant pardon to (a person) or to cease to feel resentment against. To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. Robert Muller, Assistant Secretary - General of the United The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi Gandhi said it well when he said that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. For most people, to forgive is a difficult thing to do. In fact to forgive, it takes a whole lot of courage to do it. Read the whole article at: http://www.symphonyoflove.net/blog/?p=129 http://www.symphonyoflove.net/blog/?p=129
g_b London/England
hi shall be in london 1-5th may , 2008. anyone interested in showing me around/getting together and basically having a ball? a member of this group has already said yes (thank you tapesh).. it shall be great to have a group of friends from this group together .. and yes, any suggestions on where i can put up for the 4 days.. about me.. am a moderator of this group.. pretty simple looking guy, 40 years, and 5/7-70 kgs, wear specs, loosing.hair (oh all right balding), fair and clean-shaven. am more int in meeting and making friends. email me regards moderator
g_b MSMG Update: Upcoming Screenings in NYC Delhi + Now available on DVD/VHS worldwide
Posting on behalf of Harjant. Please feel free to forward this message onwards to other groups indls. Cheers Nitin -- Forwarded message -- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Date: Mon, Apr 14, 2008 at 8:59 PM Subject: MSMG Update: Upcoming Screenings in NYC Delhi + Now available on DVD/VHS worldwide Dear friends and colleagues, I'm writing to inform you about two upcoming screening of my documentary Milind Soman Made Me Gay also to let you know that the films is now available on DVD VHS worldwide... Please order a copy for your university library today !!! Best regards, Harjant Gill __ UPCOMING SCREENINGS: NYC: EnGendered Festival Sunday April 20, 2008 1:00-4:30 PM Bruno Walter Auditorium, 40 Lincoln Center Plaza Link: http://www.nayikas.org/engendered/release_4.html DELHI: Persistence Resistance (A festival of Contemporary Political Films) April 28, 29 30th, 2008 India International Centre, 40 Max Mueller Marg, Lodhi Estate, New Delhi Link: http://www.magiclanternfoundation.org/PersistenceFest/PR_Mainpage.html ___ MILIND SOMAN MADE ME GAY is now available on DVD VHS worldwide!!! ORDER NOW: North South America: FRAMELINE Distruibution, SF (http://cart.frameline.org/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=T683) Rest of the world: Magic Lantern Foundation, New Delhi (http://www.magiclanternfoundation.org/UCFilmDetails/MilindSoman.html) Please order a copy for your University Library today!!! ___ Also check out our new website: www.TilotamaProductions.com Harjant S. Gill Doctoral Student and Filmmaker Department of Anthropology American University Point Foundation Scholar Website: www.TilotamaProductions.com My blog's at: http://queerindia.blogspot.com You can leave me a voice message from any phone at http://www.jaxtr.com/nitinkarani No call charges apply.
g_b (Article) Recognising same-sex relationships by Professor Douglas Sanders
fridae.com April 9, 2008 recognising same-sex relationships By Douglas Sanders The European Court of Justice has just recognised equal pension rights for same-sex partners. Can we expect such rulings to spread to Asia? Prof Douglas Sanders outlines same-sex partnership rights worldwide. Lesbian and gay equality rights continue to make progress in various national and international systems. The first big issue was decriminalisation. When the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was enacted 60 years ago, half of the world had laws making gay sex a crime. Those laws survive in all former British colonies in Asia except Hong Kong although they are almost completely gone in the West. The second big issue was ending discrimination against individuals. People shouldn't get fired just because they are gay. The third big issue was the recognition of relationships. If there were rights and obligations attached to heterosexual marriage, those should be applied as well to stable homosexual relationships. The fourth big issue was the recognition of rights in relation to children – access, custody, adoption, reproductive services. Three ways to recognise relationships developed. First ascription. If it looks like a marriage, treat it like a marriage. Some countries already had rules for unmarried heterosexual couples who were described as living in 'common law' or 'de facto' relationships. Those rules could be applied by judges or legislators to same-sex couples in the name of equality. Sometimes it was the rules that applied to married couples that got applied to same-sex couples. The logic was that heterosexuals could marry and get the benefits. If homosexuals could not marry, they should still have some way to get the benefits, in the name of equality. Second registered partnerships or civil unions. Create by legislation a system under which same-sex couples can register their relationship and get some – or most – or all of the rights and obligations of marriage. This started in Denmark in 1989. Third extend marriage. The Netherlands did it in 2001, followed by Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa and Massachusetts. Lots is happening. Courts in Israel and New York have started recognising Canadian same-sex marriages, though such marriages are not possible locally. The President of Ecuador announced in March that the government would recognise homosexual unions – without ever arriving at the point of marriage he added. Ireland is just completing a 'civil partnership' bill for same-sex couples. It also defines the rights and obligations of 'common law' couples (straight or gay) who live together without marriage or registration. A recent poll said that 58 percent of the Irish think gay couples should have access to marriage. In advance of the Olympics, activists in Beijing have set up an exhibit displaying 10,000 signatures from Chinese citizens supporting same-sex marriage. A bill has been introduced at least twice in the National Peoples' Congress supporting same-sex marriage (with no hope, so far, of passage). In the UN human rights system we have two decisions under the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights that hold that same-sex couples should have equal pension rights – Young v Australia in 2003 - and X v Colombia in 2007. We have one decisions saying they cannot claim marriage – Joslin v New Zealand. In the European human rights system we have a decision of the European Court of Human Rights upholding equal tenancy rights for same-sex couples - Karner v Austria in 2003. On April Fools Day, 2008, the European Court of Justice handed down a decision in the Tadao Maruko case. The ECJ enforces the treaty establishing the European Union. It has nothing to do with the European Convention on Human Rights. The issue was whether a survivors' pension that would be granted to a married partner could be denied to a registered partner. This was an obvious case of discrimination. In Germany only heterosexuals get married and only homosexuals get registered. The government pension scheme recognised both survivor spouse and survivor partner pension rights. But the pension in question was separate. It was set up under a collective agreement to provide a supplementary benefit solely for employees of German theatres. The European Union non-discrimination law on sexual orientation (a) only applies to employment and (b) was not to affect national laws on marital status and the benefits dependent thereon. Discrimination in pay is discrimination in employment. The Court held that the survivor pension was part of the pay granted to the deceased partner. So the matter came within the non-discrimination law. The first problem was solved. On the second issue, the Court never said what the 'marital status' exemption was about, but held that it does not override the basic non-discrimination rule in the directive. The judges were on our side. So the rule in the pension scheme restricting survivors'
