g_b Thelka (India): Why Marriage Equality may not be all that equal

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

http://tehelka.com/why-marriage-equality-may-not-be-that-equal/

WHY MARRIAGE EQUALITY MAY NOT BE ALL THAT EQUAL

(LGBT activists casting envious glances abroad are ignoring marginalised 
narratives at home)

NITHIN MANAYATH
11-05-2013, Issue 19 Volume 10




What she wants Hijras have been marrying their lovers much before the clamour 
for legal recognition of same-sex marriage started Photo: AFP

IF YOU have more than five gay friends on Facebook, you probably saw the 
YouTube video of the New Zealand MPs breaking into a Maori love song after they 
passed the gay marriage act. Though I fit the criterion, given that I am what 
most people in the country would refer to as a chhakka, I’m yet to see it. A 
similar act passed in the French parliament in the same month resulted in a 
wave of status updates cheering these decisions. These I have read, and almost 
everyone expressed some combination of hope about India following suit and 
despair on how we would take so long to catch up with the ‘progressive’ West.

Now what exactly do we want to catch up with? Scholars like Ruth Vanita and 
Saleem Kidwai have made the claim, with enough evidence to support that 
same-sex marriages have happened in the subcontinent before colonisation and 
even after. A hijra friend had claimed way back in 2003 that in just six 
months, she had been invited to witness at least 15 weddings between hijras and 
their partners, or between male couples. Or consider Koovagam, where hundreds 
of hijras come every year to marry their lovers. So clearly, it’s not that 
people here don’t get married, but that we want to claim legal status now.

What will this legal status offer someone from the hijra community, who works 
on the street and has negligible private property or savings? No alimony for 
sure, because more often than not it is her partner who is dependent on her 
earnings. Maybe we wish to protect the rights of her partner to her marginal 
savings post her death? But then again, a hijra’s dharma stipulates that she 
give her wealth to her guru or chelas, and not leave it for some man, who is 
likely to desert her at some point to return to his ‘true’ family. Same-sex 
marriage for the hijra, then, allows the man she marries to make a legal claim 
for the wealth that he would otherwise have been considered not deserving of, 
much like how parents or kin of hijras have been known in recent years to come 
in and make legal claims for their property after their death, even as they 
possibly were ashamed of her existence till then. In effect, legalising 
same-sex marriages offers nothing for the hijra community at least.

So we seem to want same-sex marriages to protect the legal rights of urban 
middle-class gay or lesbian identified men and women who might want to contract 
a legal marriage to ensure that they are able to access corporate and state 
benefits that accrue to couples. This urban minority, and its desire for a 
global LGBT identity, is increasingly the focus of much of LGBT legal rights 
work, even as it claims to speak for all people expressing transgressive erotic 
desires. This subsuming of the hijra into the global language of LGBT rights is 
reflective of the many ways in which legal LGBT activism in the country directs 
itself.

In the past decade, the euphoric attention that was brought to the reading down 
of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code has been questioned by many 
commentators as not reflecting the concerns of hijras and other marginalised 
communities. In 2003, a number of groups and individuals, who met in Pune at a 
meeting hosted by the lesbian-bisexual women’s collective Olava, opposed the 
petition filed in the Delhi High Court, reasoning that by asking for the 
exclusion of all consensual private sexual activity, the petitioners were, in 
effect, not concerning themselves with the lives of hijras, whose transgressive 
erotic acts in public spaces were most violently regulated by the police. And 
given that barely any cases had been filed under Section 377 since 
Independence, and that hijras were constantly arrested on propped-up charges of 
offending public morality, the group expressed the need for social action 
against such violent morality to be far more cogent and necessary in order to 
effect a change in social attitudes towards alternate erotic expressions.

The group saw the legal battle against Section 377, and the particular shape it 
had taken, as mostly driven from an upper-class male standpoint that was 
increasingly constructing it as the proverbial Damocles sword that threatened 
the legitimacy of their private sexual expressions. That this upper class 
gay-identified male vision was being directed through the language of human 
rights and was offering the hijra community as one which would be saved by 
these particular legal reforms was seen as problematic, given that repealing 
Section 377 was not a primary demand of the community.

This particular problem is also reflected i

g_b Not this not that: The Hijdas of India, and the cultural politics of sexuality - by Vinay Lal (Duke Univ)

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

The above is available at:

https://attachment.fbsbx.com/file_download.php?id=638079112872528&eid=AStnC5iDdOFQ-30nJwpFNpdJJ4ONCYuI3m_2TBqTDoY-yqo62aYYlgIqWQDXkkH-nV4&ext=1367640068&hash=ASsa1CEwsUPDAQ41



Aditya Bondyopadhyay
(Sent from my iPad or iPhone)

Re: g_b Saqib Saleem's kiss with Randeep Hooda

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Chirasak Assawatawornchai,
Please send a mail to gay_bombay-unsubscr...@yahoogroups.com and you'd be 
unsubscribed from the pain that gay_bombay is causing you, and that you are 
causing it.

Aditya Bondyopadhyay
(Sent from my iPad or iPhone)

On 03-May-2013, at 8:12 AM, Chirasak Assawatawornchai  
wrote:

> 
> stop gay_bombay  thank you i do not like it
> 
> 
> --- On Thu, 5/2/13, gay_bombay moderator  wrote:
> 
> From: gay_bombay moderator 
> Subject: g_b Saqib Saleem's kiss with Randeep Hooda [3 Attachments]
> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Thursday, May 2, 2013, 7:15 PM
> 
>  
> 
> Saqib Saleem's kiss with Randeep Hooda
> 
> Thursday, May 2, 2013, 12:00 IST | Agency: DNA
> Subhash K Jha  
> Mere Dad Ki Maruti actor Saqib Saleem has done what very few mainstream 
> actors in India would dare to do.
> 
> Mere Dad Ki Maruti actor Saqib Saleem has done what very few mainstream 
> actors in India would dare to do. He has kissed a man! He shares a liplock 
> with Randeep Hooda in Karan Johar’s segment in Bombay Talkies.
> 
> Saqib, who’s just two films old, admits it was a risk. “When I read the 
> script I was very apprehensive. That my character is gay is established from 
> the very first shot of the film. 
> 
> To be honest, I wouldn’t have done the role if the director was not Karan. I 
> knew he would handle the character and his sexuality with sensitivity. I was 
> in safe hands.” Saqib, who is now apprehensive about how his family would 
> react to his unconventional role, adds, “I saw the role as a challenge. Also, 
> I liked the fact that the character was not overtly effeminate. He’s normal 
> working-class guy. That’s how most of my gay friends are. 
> 
> They’re very normal people who behave normally in real life.”
> 
> About the kiss Saqib says, “Well, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall dared to 
> kiss in Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain. I can tell you, Randeep and I were very 
> awkward doing it. 
> 
> Karan somehow got it out of us in one take. And that awkwardness was just 
> fine because that’s how Karan wanted it to be between our characters.” 
> 
> Saqib’s parents who are entrepreneurs have still not seen the film. But his 
> girlfriend has. 
> 
> “And she was just relieved that I kiss her much better than I kiss Randeep on 
> screen. 
> 
> Credit must go to Randeep for that scene. He was a thorough professional. I 
> just followed Karan and Randeep’s cues and got over the kiss in one take,” 
> says Saqib. 
> 
> Incidentally, Randeep had refused to play a gay character in Mira Nair’s The 
> Migration  short-film on AIDS. Irrfan Khan had played the role.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pre
> 
> 
> -- 
> Email: modera...@gaybombay.in
> 
> E Groups:
> 
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay
> 
> http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay
> 
> http://groups.google.com/group/GayIndia
> 
> Public archives at 
> http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html
> 
> Rss feed: http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com/maillist.xml 
> 
> GB Internet Radio at http://www.gaybombay.in/gbradio
> 
> Web Sites:
> 
> www.gaybombay.in
> 
> www.gayindia.org
> 
> Orkut:
> 
> http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=15084918632470824129
> 
> Blogs:
> 
> http://gaybombay.blogspot.com
> 
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> 
> Twitter:
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> 
> http://twitter.com/gayindia
> 
> Facebook:
> 
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> 
> http://www.facebook.com/gayindia
> 

g_b Saturday Smilie

[asfan]

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted 
by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, 
one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, 
Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.  Is something bothering 
you?"

"Negative,  ma'am. Just serious by nature."*

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks 
like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes,  ma'am, a lot of 
action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, 
said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The 
Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the 
young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when 
is the last time you had sex?"

"1955,  ma'am."

"Well, there you 
are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! 
 I  mean, no 
sex since 1955!  She took his hand and led him to a
private room where she 
proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, 
she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow,
 you sure didn't forget 
much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch,  
"I hope not;  it's only 2130 now.
(Gotta love military time)

Re: g_b the bhabhi factor

[Manoj]

Oh but we love to bitch and moan 

Keep bringing it on DOc ;)

Re: g_b A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!

[Ron Lussier]

Immigration is indeed difficult into the U.S. these days, though I wouldn't 
pile all of blame on President Obama.  That said, it's very difficult to get 
into the USA, even to get a student visa.

I also would suggest not being quite so strident about 'not running away'.  Not 
everyone has the courage and self-confidence required to be an activist.  And 
some places simply aren't going to change... I've been advising a friend in the 
UAE to 'just run away' to a place where he doesn't have to live a lie.  
Unfortunately, there is not much that I can do to aid him getting to the USA., 
but if he got here, I think he would have a valid claim of asylum.  I don't 
think that asylum works when coming from India.

Ron

-
ron lussier
lenscraft.com

On May 2, 2013, at 7:15 PM, Aditya Bondyopadhyay  wrote:

> Hank,
> Pls educate yourself on Obama's latest on immigration before you extend inane 
> advise. One wishes to lark and back that running away solved all problems in 
> life.
> 
> Aditya Bondyopadhyay
> (Sent from my iPad or iPhone)
> 
> On 30-Apr-2013, at 8:25 PM, ha krumholz  wrote:
> 
>>  
>> Dear Ran,
>>  
>> If you can I would try to come to the United States either for a visit or 
>> for employment. Here gay life is much more open than in most places.  In 
>> fact 10 states now have same sex marriage and many have civil unions.
>>  
>> Best of luck.
>>  
>> Regards  Hank
>> 
>> From: Ran Raj 
>> To: "gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com"  
>> Sent: Monday, April 29, 2013 9:29 AM
>> Subject: Re: g_b A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!
>>  
>> Dear Friend,
>> sorry ,god give u the strength ,its a very sad thing which happened with you 
>> .
>> but its better to avoid such .
>> take care
>> god bless u and all
>> kind regards
>> 
>> From: sourendra das 
>> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com; gaybom...@yahoogroups.com 
>> Sent: Sunday, April 28, 2013 5:47 AM
>> Subject: g_b A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!
>>  
>> A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! -I do not know where do I start from, today I had 
>> one of the most horrible days in my life and reason, I am born gay. I am 
>> born in Calcutta and did my higher studies from Bombay, and while growing 
>> up, I did writing, I wrote for some of the big publications in India and 
>> abroad too. Then, I was in college when I got inclined towards fashion 
>> journalism, as it happened by chance and more so because fashion gave a new 
>> space, where people in myprofessional field respected my sexual orientation. 
>> I covered Lakme Fashion Weeks and Dubai Fashion Week, and somehow everywhere 
>> I went I felt fashionaccepts gay people more than any corporate field. I am 
>> 23 years old and like every other guy, I do feel a need for love and 
>> companionship and acceptance from society. Today, I feel like crying and 
>> relieving my heart,but I am pretending to be strong, as I am a guy, I should 
>> be strong. Today,someone abused me because I was gay. Well, long story 
>> short, I was homesickabout Calcutta, living all alone in Bombay. Bombay's 
>> luxuries life and all other glittery still made me miss home. So, once I 
>> finished my Graduation in English Literature in 2012 and did some writing 
>> work for a year, I felt I should do my Masters from Calcutta and re-unite to 
>> my roots. I knew this guy called Sona Kunda, as he used to come to the same 
>> gym where I workedout in Calcutta, many years back, when I was in school. 
>> Just on Friday, I was cycling in morning as sometimes I do, and this guy saw 
>> me in the road and started chatting up, and I have realized that in Calcutta 
>> or cities where LGBTI awareness is less, people somehow get attracted to me 
>> and never release that it is actually an attraction, sometimes it's 
>> non-sexual. To be honest, being gay doesn't give you friends, most people 
>> who come near me is because of the little success that I have achieved being 
>> a freelance journalist since last 9 years, I took the pen and I loved words 
>> as humanbeings dejected me calling me gay. So, I gave my love for printed 
>> words.This guy, Sona too came near me for the same reason, he apparently 
>> bypurpose came close to me and told me about his plans to live in Mumbai and 
>> how he needs Rs. 40 lakhs and he can even murder someone for that, well I 
>> took that as a joke, because sometimes I have seen (read rarely) that some 
>> young boys speak like that. Then, we indirectly seeked my help as I have 
>> many connections in Bombay, and forced me to exercise with him and took me 
>> to gym and latter to salon and his house. And I am such a guy, I do not 
>> force straight men to have sex with me. I always go for consensual sex and I 
>> do not believe in making gay people straight or straight people gay, I 
>> respect people's identity. This guy, Sona told me that how he is suppose to 
>> get Rs. 40 lakhs just by being with some women (Simran) for 2 years, 
>> apparently I do not know what he meant by all that he said to me. 
>> Well,s

Re: g_b the bhabhi factor

[Ramesh]

Thanks for giving us one more thing to bitch and moan about.  Like we don't 
have enough. Really man, get a life! 

--- On Wed, 5/1/13, vgd67  wrote:

From: vgd67 
Subject: g_b the bhabhi factor
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wednesday, May 1, 2013, 8:01 AM
















 



  



  
  
  A friend of mine recently told me, with some exasperation, of the 
problems he has been having with his bhabhi. His problem is not that his sister 
in law is not supportive - its that she is too supportive! 



She seems to be quite thrilled at having a gay brother in law, keeps alluding 
to the guy he has started dating and every now and then breaks into songs from 
Dostana! Really! All of which is a bit much for my friend, who's a fairly 
private and work focussed person in general. 



I guess other people must wish they had problems like this. Its certainly not 
true that bhabhi's are always supportive. Sometime back we got a call from a 
guy who needed legal help because of a really bitter fight that had broken out 
in his family between him and his mother (who knew about him being gay and was 
supportive) and his brother who was very aggressive and hostile, not least 
because he was being egged on by his wife, who seemed to want to kick him out 
of the house (which he part owned with his mother) and take possession of the 
whole place. 



But the supportive bhabhi still seems to be quite common. Perhaps its because 
she appreciates one male member of the family she now lives in who might be an 
ally and not a threat, and perhaps also its her outsider-now-turned-insider 
role in the family that allows her to be supportive without being personally 
hurt as family members often seem to be when a kid comes out as gay. 



What have the experiences of people here been with their sisters in law? I 
don't have one, since I only have one sister (my brother in law is perfectly 
supportive and friendly, but disinterested in the issue). And have people also 
had the problem my friend is having of a sister in law, or maybe just a friend 
or colleague, who is supportive to the point of embarassment? 



Vikram






 









  

g_b A Woman's Heart

[dunno76]

LOVE QUOTE OF THE DAY

A Woman's Heart by Fawn Weaver

One of the most beautiful things
in the world is a woman's heart.

It is fragile yet strong.
Delicate yet resilient.

When a woman gives you her heart,
she gives her most prized possession.

If you love, nurture, cherish and
protect it, she'll give you the world.

   [Photo: A Woman's Heart by Fawn Weaver

One of the most beautiful things
in the world is a woman's heart.

It is fragile yet strong.
Delicate yet resilient.

When a woman gives you her heart,
she gives her most prized possession.

If you love, nurture, cherish and
protect it, she'll give you the world.

More quotes and sayings: http://lovequotes.symphonyoflove.net

Photo Credit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielavladimirova/5772558728] 

(Click above for the   bigger image)
_

OTHER QUOTES & POSTS   IN SYMPHONY OF LOVE

Believe in yourself so strongly that the world can't help but to
believe in you too. -   Author
Unknown (more   love quotes and sayings
 )

  [Photo: Believe in yourself so strongly
that the world can't help but to believe in you too.

- Author Unknown (more love quotes and sayings:
http://lovequotes.symphonyoflove.net)

Thank you so much Elise Larsen for sharing this!] 

(Click above for the   bigger image)
___

… remember one   thing only: that it's you – nobody else
– who determines your destiny   and decides your fate.
Nobody else can be alive for you; nor can you be   alive for
anybody else.   - E. E. Cummings (more great quotes from
E. E. Cummings
 )

 [Photo: x80;xa0;xa0;x92;xa5; remember one
thing only: that it's you x80;xa0;xa0;x92;xb6; nobody else
x80;xa0;xa0;x92;xb6; who determines your destiny and decides your fate.
Nobody else can be alive for you; nor can you be alive for anybody else.

- E. E. Cummings (more great quotes from E. E. Cummings:
http://lovequotes.symphonyoflove.net/category/e/e-e-cummings)

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hryckowian/3119927012] 

(Click above   for the bigger image)
___

Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to
spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely. - Jim Rohn (more
inspiring quotes from  Jim   Rohn
 )

[Photo: Days are expensive. When you spend a
day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one
wisely.

- Jim Rohn (more inspiring quotes from Jim Rohn:
http://lovequotes.symphonyoflove.net/category/j/jim-rohn)

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31246066@N04/5261957053] 

(Click above   for the bigger image)
___

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action comes, stop
thinking and go in.  - Napoleon
Bonaparte (more great quotes fromNapoleon Bonaparte
 )

 [Photo: Take time to deliberate, but when
the time for action comes, stop thinking and go in.

- Napoleon Bonaparte (more great quotes from Napoleon Bonaparte:
http://lovequotes.symphonyoflove.net/category/n/napoleon-bonaparte)

Is it time for action now? ... stop thinking and go in ... knowing that
what we do today, at this moment, will dramatically change our tomorrow;
give it all we have!

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hansel5569/7649254016] 

(Click above   for the bigger image)
___

Be the change that you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi (more great quotes fromMahatma
Gandhi 
)

[Photo: Be the change that you want to
see in the world.

- Mahatma Gandhi (more great quotes from Mahatma Gandhi:
http://lovequotes.symphonyoflove.net/category/m/mahatma-gandhi)

Change starts from us and it starts from today ... from th

Re: g_b Saqib Saleem's kiss with Randeep Hooda

[Chirasak Assawatawornchai]

stop gay_bombay  thank you i do not like it


--- On Thu, 5/2/13, gay_bombay moderator  wrote:


From: gay_bombay moderator 
Subject: g_b Saqib Saleem's kiss with Randeep Hooda [3 Attachments]
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, May 2, 2013, 7:15 PM



  


[Attachment(s) from gay_bombay moderator included below] 






Saqib Saleem's kiss with Randeep Hooda
Thursday, May 2, 2013, 12:00 IST | Agency: DNA

Subhash K Jha  


Mere Dad Ki Maruti actor Saqib Saleem has done what very few mainstream actors 
in India would dare to do.
 

Mere Dad Ki Maruti actor Saqib Saleem has done what very few mainstream actors 
in India would dare to do. He has kissed a man! He shares a liplock with 
Randeep Hooda in Karan Johar’s segment in Bombay Talkies.

Saqib, who’s just two films old, admits it was a risk. “When I read the script 
I was very apprehensive. That my character is gay is established from the very 
first shot of the film. 

To be honest, I wouldn’t have done the role if the director was not Karan. I 
knew he would handle the character and his sexuality with sensitivity. I was in 
safe hands.” Saqib, who is now apprehensive about how his family would react to 
his unconventional role, adds, “I saw the role as a challenge. Also, I liked 
the fact that the character was not overtly effeminate. He’s normal 
working-class guy. That’s how most of my gay friends are. 

They’re very normal people who behave normally in real life.”

About the kiss Saqib says, “Well, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall dared to 
kiss in Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain. I can tell you, Randeep and I were very 
awkward doing it. 

Karan somehow got it out of us in one take. And that awkwardness was just fine 
because that’s how Karan wanted it to be between our characters.” 

Saqib’s parents who are entrepreneurs have still not seen the film. But his 
girlfriend has. 

“And she was just relieved that I kiss her much better than I kiss Randeep on 
screen. 

Credit must go to Randeep for that scene. He was a thorough professional. I 
just followed Karan and Randeep’s cues and got over the kiss in one take,” says 
Saqib. 

Incidentally, Randeep had refused to play a gay character in Mira Nair’s The 
Migration  short-film on AIDS. Irrfan Khan had played the role.










 
Pre

-- 
Email: modera...@gaybombay.in

E Groups:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay

http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay

http://groups.google.com/group/GayIndia

Public archives at 
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Web Sites:

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Orkut:

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http://www.facebook.com/gayindia 

Re: g_b A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Hank,
Pls educate yourself on Obama's latest on immigration before you extend inane 
advise. One wishes to lark and back that running away solved all problems in 
life.

Aditya Bondyopadhyay
(Sent from my iPad or iPhone)

On 30-Apr-2013, at 8:25 PM, ha krumholz  wrote:

> Dear Ran,
>  
> If you can I would try to come to the United States either for a visit or for 
> employment. Here gay life is much more open than in most places.  In fact 10 
> states now have same sex marriage and many have civil unions.
>  
> Best of luck.
>  
> Regards  Hank
> 
> From: Ran Raj 
> To: "gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com"  
> Sent: Monday, April 29, 2013 9:29 AM
> Subject: Re: g_b A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!
>  
> Dear Friend,
> sorry ,god give u the strength ,its a very sad thing which happened with you .
> but its better to avoid such .
> take care
> god bless u and all
> kind regards
> 
> From: sourendra das 
> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com; gaybom...@yahoogroups.com 
> Sent: Sunday, April 28, 2013 5:47 AM
> Subject: g_b A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!
>  
> A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! -I do not know where do I start from, today I had 
> one of the most horrible days in my life and reason, I am born gay. I am born 
> in Calcutta and did my higher studies from Bombay, and while growing up, I 
> did writing, I wrote for some of the big publications in India and abroad 
> too. Then, I was in college when I got inclined towards fashion journalism, 
> as it happened by chance and more so because fashion gave a new space, where 
> people in myprofessional field respected my sexual orientation. I covered 
> Lakme Fashion Weeks and Dubai Fashion Week, and somehow everywhere I went I 
> felt fashionaccepts gay people more than any corporate field. I am 23 years 
> old and like every other guy, I do feel a need for love and companionship and 
> acceptance from society. Today, I feel like crying and relieving my heart,but 
> I am pretending to be strong, as I am a guy, I should be strong. 
> Today,someone abused me because I was gay. Well, long story short, I was 
> homesickabout Calcutta, living all alone in Bombay. Bombay's luxuries life 
> and all other glittery still made me miss home. So, once I finished my 
> Graduation in English Literature in 2012 and did some writing work for a 
> year, I felt I should do my Masters from Calcutta and re-unite to my roots. I 
> knew this guy called Sona Kunda, as he used to come to the same gym where I 
> workedout in Calcutta, many years back, when I was in school. Just on Friday, 
> I was cycling in morning as sometimes I do, and this guy saw me in the road 
> and started chatting up, and I have realized that in Calcutta or cities where 
> LGBTI awareness is less, people somehow get attracted to me and never release 
> that it is actually an attraction, sometimes it's non-sexual. To be honest, 
> being gay doesn't give you friends, most people who come near me is because 
> of the little success that I have achieved being a freelance journalist since 
> last 9 years, I took the pen and I loved words as humanbeings dejected me 
> calling me gay. So, I gave my love for printed words.This guy, Sona too came 
> near me for the same reason, he apparently bypurpose came close to me and 
> told me about his plans to live in Mumbai and how he needs Rs. 40 lakhs and 
> he can even murder someone for that, well I took that as a joke, because 
> sometimes I have seen (read rarely) that some young boys speak like that. 
> Then, we indirectly seeked my help as I have many connections in Bombay, and 
> forced me to exercise with him and took me to gym and latter to salon and his 
> house. And I am such a guy, I do not force straight men to have sex with me. 
> I always go for consensual sex and I do not believe in making gay people 
> straight or straight people gay, I respect people's identity. This guy, Sona 
> told me that how he is suppose to get Rs. 40 lakhs just by being with some 
> women (Simran) for 2 years, apparently I do not know what he meant by all 
> that he said to me. Well,sounds trange, but people somehow sometimes tell 
> weird stuffs with me, Ihate it, as I am not a counsellor and not someone who 
> can be dumped with all emotional garbages of other people. I am not 
> interested in him, not had any sexual desire for him and neither did I have 
> anything for him or something. Well, he called me at 7.22pm on Friday when I 
> was studying and Idid not answer his call, also as my cell was in silent 
> mode, I had anEntrance Exam for Masters in Fashion Management on Saturday 
> noontime. I messaged him around 10pm when I went for dinner "Studying dear. 
> Take Care" and did some revisions and slept to wake up early with fresh mind 
> and study again. Around 12am, some girl called me named Simran, and woke me 
> up from my sleep and started arguing that I sent Sona messages which she does 
> not find appropriate and she went on to be more abusive, I told her to mind 
> h

g_b Re: [gb] A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Me too - too many dramatic props in the story and too much requirement to 
'suspend disbelief'

Aditya Bondyopadhyay
(Sent from my iPad or iPhone)

On 28-Apr-2013, at 3:21 PM, jaan.bh...@gmail.com wrote:

> I gave up half way. But I wonder how 23 year old today is a freelance journo 
> for last 9 years? And an entrance exam for masters in fashion designing?? 
> Never knew about that.
> 
> Prasad
> 
> Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone
> From: sourendra das 
> Sender: gaybom...@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Sun, 28 Apr 2013 07:17:27 +0530
> To: ; 
> ReplyTo: gaybom...@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [gb] A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! Needs Help !!!
> 
>  
> A Shockingly Sad Tale !!! - 
> 
> I do not know where do I start from, today I had one of the most horrible 
> days in my life and reason, I am born gay. I am born in Calcutta and did my 
> higher studies from Bombay, and while growing up, I did writing, I wrote for 
> some of the big publications in India and abroad too. Then, I was in college 
> when I got inclined towards fashion journalism, as it happened by chance and 
> more so because fashion gave a new space, where people in my professional 
> field respected my sexual orientation. I covered Lakme Fashion Weeks and 
> Dubai Fashion Week, and somehow everywhere I went I felt fashion accepts gay 
> people more than any corporate field. I am 23 years old and like every other 
> guy, I do feel a need for love and companionship and acceptance from society. 
> Today, I feel like crying and relieving my heart, but I am pretending to be 
> strong, as I am a guy, I should be strong. Today, someone abused me because I 
> was gay. Well, long story short, I was homesick about Calcutta, living all 
> alone in Bombay. Bombay's luxuries life and all other glittery still made me 
> miss home. So, once I finished my Graduation in English Literature in 2012 
> and did some writing work for a year, I felt I should do my Masters from 
> Calcutta and re-unite to my roots. I knew this guy called Sona Kunda, as he 
> used to come to the same gym where I worked out in Calcutta, many years back, 
> when I was in school. Just on Friday, I was cycling in morning as sometimes I 
> do, and this guy saw me in the road and started chatting up, and I have 
> realized that in Calcutta or cities where LGBTI awareness is less, people 
> somehow get attracted to me and never release that it is actually an 
> attraction, sometimes it's non-sexual. To be honest, being gay doesn't give 
> you friends, most people who come near me is because of the little success 
> that I have achieved being a freelance journalist since last 9 years, I took 
> the pen and I loved words as human beings dejected me calling me gay. So, I 
> gave my love for printed words. This guy, Sona too came near me for the same 
> reason, he apparently by purpose came close to me and told me about his plans 
> to live in Mumbai and how he needs Rs. 40 lakhs and he can even murder 
> someone for that, well I took that as a joke, because sometimes I have seen 
> (read rarely) that some young boys speak like that. Then, we indirectly 
> seeked my help as I have many connections in Bombay, and forced me to 
> exercise with him and took me to gym and latter to salon and his house. And I 
> am such a guy, I do not force straight men to have sex with me. I always go 
> for consensual sex and I do not believe in making gay people straight or 
> straight people gay, I respect people's identity. This guy, Sona told me that 
> how he is suppose to get Rs. 40 lakhs just by being with some women (Simran) 
> for 2 years, apparently I do not know what he meant by all that he said to 
> me. Well, sounds strange, but people somehow sometimes tell weird stuffs with 
> me, I hate it, as I am not a counsellor and not someone who can be dumped 
> with all emotional garbages of other people. I am not interested in him, not 
> had any sexual desire for him and neither did I have anything for him or 
> something. Well, he called me at 7.22pm on Friday when I was studying and I 
> did not answer his call, also as my cell was in silent mode, I had an 
> Entrance Exam for Masters in Fashion Management on Saturday noontime. I 
> messaged him around 10pm when I went for dinner "Studying dear. Take Care" 
> and did some revisions and slept to wake up early with fresh mind and study 
> again. Around 12am, some girl called me named Simran, and woke me up from my 
> sleep and started arguing that I sent Sona messages which she does not find 
> appropriate and she went on to be more abusive, I told her to mind her own 
> business and told her 12am is not the time to call any decent person and kept 
> the phone, trying to sleep. Well, latter that night Sona abused me in sms 
> that "I was not calling u it was by mistake i m not even interested to see u 
> as u  r gay so try someonle else u defective peice u gay" and Simran wrote to 
> me "stop disturbing n who is defective u know better then me go n ask ur 
> par

g_b Re: prostitution pledge - U.S. justices conflicted over AIDS funding case

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

U.S. justices conflicted over AIDS funding caseBy Lawrence HurleyWASHINGTON | Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:00pm EDT(Reuters) - Supreme Court justices appeared divided on Monday as they considered a challenge to a law requiring non-profit organizations to adopt an anti-prostitution policy in order to obtain federal funding for HIV/AIDS programs abroad.Several justices voiced concerns that the law imposes unconstitutional limits on freedom of speech, but others indicated the government had a right to direct how its money should be spent.The 2003 law bars funding for non-governmental organizations that work on HIV/AIDS prevention but do not have a policy opposing prostitution and sex trafficking.The Alliance for Open Society International and Pathfinder International - NGOs that receive funding for overseas HIV/AIDS prevention - sued in 2005, citing the First Amendment's guarantee of free speech.The organizations challenging the provision do not want to take a stand on prostitution. They say the law interferes with their work providing advice and counseling to prostitutes about the risks of HIV infection.The non-profit world is divided, with 46 groups, many of which focus on women's rights, supporting the law.The groups obtained an injunction in 2006 that has prevented the policy from being enforced ever since.Justice Elena Kagan is recused, most likely due to her previous role as solicitor general in the Obama administration, meaning only eight justices are presiding over the case.At least three indicated they had concerns about the law, with Justice Samuel Alito the most outspoken.He signaled discomfort with the general concept of the government having a broad right to direct groups it is funding on what they can and cannot say."It seems to me like quite a dangerous proposition," he said. Alito questioned whether, for example, the government could impose similar conditions to funding for higher education.FIRST AMENDMENT QUESTIONSJustice Ruth Bader Ginsburg focused on a move made by the Bush administration, later amended by the Obama administration, to resolve some of the First Amendment questions. The government has said that NGOs could set up affiliate groups to receive the funding without the parent organization having to announce a position on prostitution.Ginsburg said that approach may not solve the problem because it's "no simple thing" for an NGO to set up a new organization in another country. She said that requiring this extra step is "quite an arduous" burden to place on NGOs.Taking another line of attack, Justice Sonia Sotomayor questioned whether the law restricted an NGO's ability to "stay true to its own beliefs."Other justices, while not wholeheartedly endorsing the government's argument in defense of the law, did not appear to feel that there was a problem in general with Congress attaching conditions on funding.Justice Stephen Breyer said there were "dozens and dozens" of examples in which the government gave funding to groups because they shared the same goals. "Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the program," he said.Chief Justice John Roberts said the government is "just picking out who is an appropriate partner."Under a barrage of questioning from the justices, David Bowker, the NGOs' attorney, seemed momentarily stumped by one of Roberts' questions.The chief justice asked whether, during the period in which South Africa was racially segregated, the U.S. government could have limited funding for public health programs to NGOs that were opposed to the policy, known as apartheid.After a lengthy pause, Bowker conceded the question was tougher than the one posed in his case, but that it would still be impermissible for the government to make decisions on that basis.The case is Agency for International Development v. Alliance for Open Society International, U.S. Supreme Court, No. 12-19.(Reporting by Lawrence Hurley; Editing by Howard Goller and Bill Trott)  April 22, 2013Free Speech and an Anti-Prostitution PledgeBy THE EDITORIAL BOARDA 2003 federal statute, called the United States Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria Act, finances a wide range of public health initiatives to treat and prevent disease around the world.That law prohibits the use of any government money to “promote or advocate the legalization or practice of prostitution.” But it also goes beyond that reasonable provision to require almost all recipients of funds to “have a policy explicitly opposing prostitution” — to make an anti-prostitution pledge — and to refrain from any speech the government deems “inconsistent with” the policy.On Monday, in Agency for International Development v. Alliance for Open Society International, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on whether this provision violates the recipients’ First Amendment right to freedom of _expression_. It clearly does by requiring them to speak and advocate the government’s position, without the option of staying silent. This provision could also hurt outrea

g_b Download ILGA 2012 Annual Report

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Download ILGA 2012 Annual Report

http://old.ilga.org/documents/ILGA_Annual_Report_2012.pdf

Aditya Bondyopadhyay
(Sent from my iPad or iPhone)

g_b Lesbians and Exile: a Call for Words

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Aditya Bondyopadhyay
(Sent from my iPad or iPhone)

Begin forwarded message:

> From: Debolina Dutta 
> Subject: Lesbians in Exile
> 
> FYI.
> 
> Lesbians and Exile: a Call for Words
> 
> There is much pressing at me now that I have found my words again--sometimes 
> along with the rest of me they go on a walk about, freed from linear forms to 
> shape shift and touch the thinking of other times, Heine, Elizabeth Bishop, 
> Tolstoy, Judah Waten. Much has happened in the communities I have carried to 
> you here; I am thinking in particular of our Croat ion comrades who tried to 
> launch a feminist, queer journal called Sex and the thugs who had to smash 
> such an opening of doors. I will write about this and bring you our friend's 
> voices soon--I want them to know, and I am thinking of Lepa and all we met in 
> Belgrade--that I have not forgotten what happened. But now I need to deliver 
> this call to all of you who might be interested, yourselves or friends. 
> Yasmin Tambiah, a lesbian writer friend and I are co-editing an upcoming 
> issue of Sinister Wisdom on the subject of Lesbians in exile. Here is our 
> call for words:
> 
> Joan Nestle and Yasmin Tambiah are calling for writing exploring the many 
> faces of exile and displacement as seen from a lesbian perspective: the loss 
> of national selves, the loss of known boundaries, the burdens of of war, the 
> impact of dislocation, of geographical shifts, and the insights resulting 
> from such changes. We are looking for writing that discusses the more 
> recognized journeys of exile--the loss of national and cultural sites of 
> being--as well as exchanges of know territories for unknown or less familiar 
> ones, such as the movement from a rural world to an urban one or in the other 
> direction. What does it mean to lose a community that has given you life, but 
> one from which you flee? What do you take with you, what do you leave behind 
> and what becomes transformed through such movement? We also see questions of 
> exile rising in experiences of gender and the body. Perhaps one might say 
> that to be a lesbian, to be queer, is to live in a permanent state of exile, 
> but is this still true? What kind of exiles are experienced in bodies that 
> face daily challenges of mobility and other kinds of functioning? Fiction, 
> memoirs, creative non-fictions, short essays, taped thoughts and 
> conversations, letters, e-mail ponderings-all welcome. We need your words by 
> June 1, 2013. Please send questions and offerings to 
> exilesinwis2...@gmail.com or to joan.jessbsim...@gmail.com and please 
> reproduce this call if you can and tell friends.
> 
> Our biographies:
> Yasmin Tambiah grew up is Sri Lanka and lived there before and during the war 
> years. She has spent long periods of her adult life in the USA and Australia, 
> with stints in India, Trinidad and Europe. She is a researcher and writer.
> 
> Joan Nestle, born in the Bronx, lived most of her life in New York City 
> teaching students from all over the world; her own provinciality ended, she 
> hopes, when she met her Australian lover, Dianne Otto, and moved to 
> Melbourne, Australia in 2001. At 72, she is most grateful when she is forced 
> to see with new eyes that which she thought she knew. Co-founder of the 
> Lesbian Herstory Archives and author, editor of 9 books exploring the lesbian 
> body and imagination.

g_b extra-marital relationship and trust

[Bharat]

Came across a Planet Romeo profile, the headline of which is "Married guy from 
mumbai,wants a long lasting relationship based on trust,admiration and 
openness. "