[Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-ietf-mpls-lsr-self-test-06.txt

[Gonzalo Camarillo]

Hi,

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.


Draft: draft-ietf-mpls-lsr-self-test-06.txt
Reviewer: Gonzalo Camarillo <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Review Date:  1 September 2006
IETF LC Date: 25 August 2006


Summary:

This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should
be fixed before publication.


Comments:

Expand all acronyms on their first appearance.

This draft contains lines longer than 72 characters and pages longer 
than 58 lines.


The references should be fixed. The text uses [LSP-PING] but the 
References Section uses [LSP-Ping]. The text uses  [LDP] but the 
References Section uses [RFC3036].



Thanks,

Gonzalo



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[Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-ietf-mip4-reg-tunnel-03.txt

[Gonzalo Camarillo]

Hi,

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.


Draft: draft-ietf-mip4-reg-tunnel-03.txt
Reviewer: Gonzalo Camarillo <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Review Date:  1 September 2006
IETF LC Date: 24 August 2006
IESG Telechat Date: 19 September 2006

Summary:

This draft is ready for publication as an Experimental RFC.


Comments:

Expand NAI on its first appearance (Section 2).


Thanks,

Gonzalo



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[Gen-art] A *new* batch of IETF LC reviews - 31 August 2006

[Mary Barnes]

Hi all,

Here's this week's LC assignments along with one Early Review
assignment: 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art.html 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-by-reviewer.html 


Thanks, 
Mary. 

--- 
Reviewer: David Black

- 'End-to-middle Security in the Session Initiation Protocol (SIP)'


This is an Early Review requested by the AD.  

Early Review ends on 2006-09-08. 

The file can be obtained via
http://tools.ietf.org/wg/sip/draft-ietf-sip-e2m-sec/draft-ietf-sip-e2m-s
ec-02.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Eric Gray


- 'Exclude Routes - Extension to RSVP-TE '
as a Proposed
Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-08.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ccamp-rsvp-te-exclude-rou
te-05.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies

- 'Extensions to GMPLS RSVP Graceful Restart '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-08.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ccamp-rsvp-restart-ext-05
.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Francis Dupont

- 'Forward Error Correction Grouping Semantics in Session Description 
   Protocol '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-08.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-mmusic-fec-grouping-05.tx
t


--- 
Reviewer: Gonzalo Camarillo

- 'Label Switching Router Self-Test '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-08.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-mpls-lsr-self-test-06.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Harald Alvestrand

- 'RTP Payload Format and File Storage Format for the Adaptive
Multi-Rate
  (AMR) and Adaptive Multi-Rate Wideband (AMR-WB) Audio Codecs '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-11.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-avt-rtp-amr-bis-05.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Joel Halpern

- 'The Kerberos V5 ("GSSAPI") SASL mechanism '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-11.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-sasl-gssapi-07.txt


--- 
Reviewer: John Loughney

- 'BGP Support for Four-octet AS Number Space '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-12.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-idr-as4bytes-12.txt

The implementation report can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/IESG/Implementations/bgp4_impleme.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Robert Sparks

- 'The SDP (Session Description Protocol) Content Attribute '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-12.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-mmusic-sdp-media-content-
05.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Sharon Chisholm

- 'Operation of Anycast Services '
as a BCP

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-13.
Note: Previously reviewed -03 for LC ending 2006-06-16.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-grow-anycast-04.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Spencer Dawkins

- 'Network based IP VPN Architecture Using Virtual Routers '
as an Informational RFC
- 'Using BGP as an Auto-Discovery Mechanism for VR-based Layer-3 VPNs '
as an Informational RFC
- 'Applicability Statement for Virtual Router-based Layer 3 PPVPN 
   Approaches '
as an Informational RFC

Active participation in the L3VPN WG on Virtual Routers has not existed
for some time. There is little evidence of energy to significantly
modify
these documents further. The documents are, however, mature enough and
of
sufficient quality that there is general consensus to publish what has
been accomplished as Informational. 

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-14.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-l3vpn-vpn-vr-03.txt
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-l3vpn-bgpvpn-auto-07.txt
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-l3vpn-as-vr-02.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Scott Brim

- 'DNSSEC Opt-In '
as an Experimental RFC

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-14.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-dnsext-dnssec-opt-in-09.t
xt


--- 
Reviewer: Eric Gray

- 'Host Identity Protocol '
as an Experimental RFC

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-14.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-hip-base-06.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Francis Dupont

- 'DNSSEC Experiments '
as a Proposed Standard

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-14.

The file can be obtained via
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-dnsext-dnssec-experiments
-03.txt


--- 
Reviewer: Gonzalo Camarillo

- 'DES Security Implications '
as an Informational RFC

IETF LC ends on 2006-09-25.

The file can b

Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-rddp-ddp-06.txt

[Francis Dupont]

 In your previous mail you wrote:

   As you suggested, I did contact the IESG, specifically the Security
   ADs, about IKEv1 vs. IKEv2, and the verdict is to stick with IKEv1 as
   profiled by RFC 3723 for iSCSI so that iSCSI and RDDP use the same
   profile of IPsec.  If/when RFC 3723 is updated, all the protocols that
   use it will be uniformly affected.  Text will be added to the next
   version of the draft to explain this.
   
=> IMHO this is a good solution...

Thanks

[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-ospf-iana-01.txt

[john.loughney]

no-objection

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Re: [Gen-art] review of: draft-ietf-netlmm-nohost-req-04.txt

[Brian E Carpenter]

There have been very varied reactions to this draft. John isn't
the only person to find it unclear. I found that it explained NetLMM
to me quite well. Obviously a case of YMMV.

 Brian

[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:

I noticed that Brian has already issued his ballot on this, but I had
written-up
some rough comments on this, so I'm sending them for completeness sake.

These are mostly nits, but I generally have to say that overall, the
document
doesn't seem very readable.

1) Contributor section at the beginning seems odd, and the second
sentence seems
   a bit gratitous.  I'd suggest moving it to the acknoledge section and
dropping
   the last sentence.
  
 Gerardo Giaretta, Kent Leung, Katsutoshi Nishida, Phil Roberts, and


 Marco Liebsch all contributed major effort to this document. Their 
 names are not included in the authors' section due to the RFC 
 Editor's limit of 5 names. 


2) The 1 sentence abstract is a bit weak, I think it could state a bit
more.

3) Editorially, I found the entire document difficult to read.  It took
me
   several re-reads to make heads-or-tails of the document, but then
again, I should
   probably read drafts earlier in the day (or after a stiff cup of
coffee).

4) Some of section 2 seems like design trade-offs or design
considerations more 
   than goals.


5) Appendix, section 8.6 has an entry called Micro. but it isn't clear
if the 
   document means Cellular IP or HAWAII or generally all micromobility

protocols.

John

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[Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-clancy-eap-pax-09

[Elwyn Davies]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for
draft-clancy-eap-pax-09.txt. For background on Gen-ART, please see the 
FAQ at

.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before 
posting a new version of the draft.


Summary:

[This is a re-review of a draft which I reviewed -08 for IETF LC.]
This draft is almost ready for PS.  There are a couple of minor issues 
that need clarification.


Issues:
===
s2.2:


If the underlying
   EAP transport protocol is known, then the client SHOULD differentiate
   between these values.

What are the consequences of not doing... under what circumstances would 
it be reasonable or necessary not to differentiate?
What is the mapping between types of EAP transport protocol and field 
values ( straight PPP is obvious but what other types map to the two 
kinds?).  What happens if other certificate types are defined? And other 
transports?


s3.2: The len field is still not precisely defined.  It appears that it 
is the length in octets of the corresponding value field in octets 
encoded as a two octet binary integer.


Editorial:
==
s1.2: Expand NAI.  A reference to a suitable RFC that explains 
Diffie-Hellman generators would be useful.


s3.2: I think it would be good to emphasise that the MAC is computed 
just over the value field and not the length field [If I was an 
implementor I am not sure how happy I would be about this!].



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[Gen-art] review of: draft-ietf-netlmm-nohost-req-04.txt

[john.loughney]

I noticed that Brian has already issued his ballot on this, but I had
written-up
some rough comments on this, so I'm sending them for completeness sake.

These are mostly nits, but I generally have to say that overall, the
document
doesn't seem very readable.

1) Contributor section at the beginning seems odd, and the second
sentence seems
   a bit gratitous.  I'd suggest moving it to the acknoledge section and
dropping
   the last sentence.
  
 Gerardo Giaretta, Kent Leung, Katsutoshi Nishida, Phil Roberts, and

 Marco Liebsch all contributed major effort to this document. Their 
 names are not included in the authors' section due to the RFC 
 Editor's limit of 5 names. 

2) The 1 sentence abstract is a bit weak, I think it could state a bit
more.

3) Editorially, I found the entire document difficult to read.  It took
me
   several re-reads to make heads-or-tails of the document, but then
again, I should
   probably read drafts earlier in the day (or after a stiff cup of
coffee).

4) Some of section 2 seems like design trade-offs or design
considerations more 
   than goals.

5) Appendix, section 8.6 has an entry called Micro. but it isn't clear
if the 
   document means Cellular IP or HAWAII or generally all micromobility
protocols.

John

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[Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-abel-nfc-urn-00.txt

[Elwyn Davies]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for 
draft-abel-nfc-urn-00.txt.


For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd before posting a new 
version of the draft.

Summary:
This draft follows the guidelines of RFC3406 correctly and is ready for 
publication. There are a couple of trivial nits that should be fixed before 
publication.

Nits:
s1: The second paragraph should say that a 'formal registration' under the 
terms of RFC3406 is being sought.
s2.9: I think I understand why listing with an RDS is not necessary but a brief 
explanation might help.

Editorial:
s1: Useful to expand NID again.
s2.9: Expand RDS (Resource Discovery System).



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Re: [Gen-art] Review assignments for 31 Aug 2006

[Brian E Carpenter]

Not to worry. I will trust my fellow ADs on this one.

Brian

Michael A. Patton wrote:

I've been having a number of computer and connectivity problems
recently.  This means that my normal load of paying work is taking
longer and I won't have any time this week to review the document I
was assigned for this Thursday's telechat:

   APP  A Uniform Resource Name (URN) Namespace for The Near Field 
	Communication Forum (NFC Forum) (Informational) - 3 of 3 
	draft-abel-nfc-urn-00.txt [Open Web Ballot]  
	Token: Ted Hardie 


If someone else can do a review, that would probably be good.
Otherwise, this is to let Brian know that he won't be getting one from
me.

-MAP

P.S.  Despite being on limited availability even before these recent
problems, I seem to have a number of LC items assigned to me.  If
anyone wants to take one or two (or more) of them, that would probably
be good as well.

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Re: [Gen-art] Review assignments for 31 Aug 2006

[Elwyn Davies]

I've taken a quick look at this one and sent in a review.
/Elwyn

Michael A. Patton wrote:

I've been having a number of computer and connectivity problems
recently.  This means that my normal load of paying work is taking
longer and I won't have any time this week to review the document I
was assigned for this Thursday's telechat:

   APP  A Uniform Resource Name (URN) Namespace for The Near Field 
	Communication Forum (NFC Forum) (Informational) - 3 of 3 
	draft-abel-nfc-urn-00.txt [Open Web Ballot]  
	Token: Ted Hardie 


If someone else can do a review, that would probably be good.
Otherwise, this is to let Brian know that he won't be getting one from
me.

-MAP

P.S.  Despite being on limited availability even before these recent
problems, I seem to have a number of LC items assigned to me.  If
anyone wants to take one or two (or more) of them, that would probably
be good as well.

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Re: [Gen-art] Review draft-vaudreuil-futuredelivery-04.txt

[Francis Dupont]

Note that the only really arguable point, to propose both interval and date,
is well explained in the document (different usages/contexts need different
mechanism) and there is no reason to not trust the WG (cf the acknowledgments)
about this.

Thanks

[EMAIL PROTECTED] (just back from holidays)

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