Desperate Goan Housewives
All is not as it seems in Dona Paula...
By Cecil Pinto
Having experimented with serious theatre (Rupnnem) and with film (Padri),
the reigning Prince of Konkani Tiatr, Jacob, makes his foray into
television serials with the upcoming Desparad Goencheo Ghorkarn'neo. I
met up with Prince Jacob on the production set and got a peek preview at
the spicy new show.
Cecil: Have you taken a franchisee from ABC, similar to what Kaun Banega
Crorepati did with Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Jacob: Nothing of the sort! Desperate housewives have always been part of
Goan society. The inherent Goan male's wanderlust often leads to other
lusts back home. I have just copied the name. The characters and stories
are all original. The series is set in an upscale residential colony in
Dona Paula called Wisteria Lane. The narrator is Mary Alice Pinto who has
just committed suicide because her husband molested their young maid. They
didn't have enough political clout to hush up the issue. From her vantage
point in the great beyond, she observes her four best friends as they go
about their sordid lives.
Cecil: The story line, names and even the address seem amazingly similar to
ABC's Desperate Housewives.
Jacob: What nonsense! WiStErIa is a combination of the names of the
original owners of an actual property; William, Stella, Esther and Maria;
they had given it to a builder and got four row-houses in exchange. Look I
have not even seen the original Desperate Housewives serial you are talking
about.
Cecil: Well, I suppose coincidences do occur. Please continue.
Jacob: So, one of the four friends is Susan Mendes. Susan is a very
good-looking recent divorcee, who is constantly agonising over the
behaviour of her teenage daughter, Julie, with whom she shares everything -
even her clothes. Julie spends almost all her waking hours SMS-ing her
friends from her cell phone. Most of the messages are just forwards of
Sardaji jokes. Susan has no known credible source of income and is trying
to ensnare the local handsome plumber, Delphino Naik.
Cecil: I suppose it makes sense. It is very difficult to get plumbers these
days, especially if you have a limited income. Nevertheless, what sort of a
name is Delphino Naik? Aren't all plumbers in Goa from South India?
Jacob: Please stop interrupting. Then there is Lynette Sousa. She gave up
her well paid job as a senior supervisor at a Call Centre in Mumbai to
become a full-time mother to her three hyperactive children. Her husband,
Tom, is in a highly competitive job at AirTel. He still tries to make
quality time for his family, but this is not always possible. Lynette often
gets frustrated with her irritating brats, especially because they all were
expelled from Sharda Mandir and have to now study in the Konkani medium at
People's High School.
Cecil: I suppose it also causes her a lot of social embarrassment.
Jacob: We also have Brenda da Souza e Bhembre ou Figueiredo. Brenda hails
from a very rich Saraswat Brahmin family. She never fails to mention this
at any opportunity and even when there's isn't one. Her control-freak
all-too-perfect attitude drives her Bhandari Samaj husband, Rex Kamat, up
the wall, round the bend and to Chances Casino almost nightly. He doesn't
gamble, just drinks himself into oblivion and crawls back every night. Her
son, Andrew hates her, and is probably gay. Her daughter is too busy
sending risque SMS jokes to Julie to be bothered about the fact that her
actual name is not mentioned once in the entire serial!
Cecil: Most interesting. I wonder, are there are any adulterous
relationships in the story?
Jacob: Of course! There's Gabriella Singh whose husband Carlos Bhalle Singh
works as an engineering consultant for a petroleum firm in Saudi Arabia.
Three months on - one month off, is how he describes his work schedule.
While he's on the job he's also in the dark about the affair Gabriella is
having with their handsome young driver John Pereira. Gabriella claims she
is an ex-model. Actually, she paid an extortionate amount of money for a
third rate model portfolio and the only work she has ever had were dodgy
advertisements for a wedding-cum-dance hall and a car dealer - neither of
which she has even been paid for. Both these amateurish commercials were
only aired on local cable TV.
Cecil: How come you cast her as a non-Goan?
Jacob: Do you know how many non-Goans are there in Dona Paula? Besides we
can't depict a Goan woman as having an affair can we? Goan women don't do
such things. At least that's what the Bailancho Saad says.
Cecil: Who else can you shed some light on?
Jacob: There's Eddi 'Brit' Sheridan who is a merry philandering
multiple-divorcee who's constantly seducing any attractive male she sets
sight on. She's a forty something sexy blonde and drives a huge Scorpio
SUV, as big as a truck. She's always getting scratches and dents on it
when trying to
