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DEAR AUNTY No. 22 - WEEKLY TOP 12: _________________________________ 1. DEAR AUNTY, I'm a peon, but my pal always calls me a bhangi ! Can I bang him up ? Pius .......... Dear Pius: Bhangi'm up if you want, but please don't peon him ! ____________________________________________________________________________ 2. DEAR AUNTY, What happened?? No more multi-lingual Eng-Konkani "knock-knock gems?? Assis ........... Dear Assis: "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there??"..."Ass !!"..." Ass whom??" "Arrey pisha........"Assum re, knock-knock puro zalem!" ____________________________________________________________________________ 3. DEAR AUNTY, I wants music ring-tone "Sa-ri-ga-ma" for my cell. Are you listening?? Pia. ......... Dear Pia: Sari, rawng number ! ____________________________________________________________________________ 4. DEAR AUNTY,
From Goa to Delhi - what news of the Goa governor's love of dog-meat! I'm
keenly following his progress - what do you call this kind of love? JoeGoaUK ......... Dear Joe: Ha ha ! Puppy love?? Stop dogging his footsteps! ____________________________________________________________________________ 5. DEAR AUNTY, Who's that rocket lady who yells at us when Mass starts ?? Misha ........... Dear Misha: Ha ha ! I think you mean 'Miss Iley ?!' (missile'y=mass has started!)* ____________________________________________________________________________ 6. DEAR AUNTY, Why do you always make fun of us Sikhs?? 'Granth'ed we're naturally dumb, can't you find words of wisdom in your own Holy Book? Banta ........... Dear Banta: As in "Sikh & you shall find"? Oh that's such a Sikh joke, haha! ____________________________________________________________________________ 7. DEAR AUNTY, This controversy about 'opmus' garb - are confrarias caste-based? Ethel ........... Dear Ethel: Yes - that's why they get 'up mos' people's noses !! ____________________________________________________________________________ 8. DEAR AUNTY, My homey's girlfriend tried to knife him. When she failed, she then tried to swallow a packet of needles. What can she possibly be charged with? Balu .......... Dear Balu: 1. Homey-cide. 2. Sui-cide. (sui=needle!)* ____________________________________________________________________________ 9. DEAR AUNTY, Why are undertakers in Goa never poor? Kane .......... Dear Kane: Because they keep pedo-lling the same candles at all funerals ! (pedo=undertaker)* ____________________________________________________________________________ 10. DEAR AUNTY, Its disturbing to hear from distant Brazil of Remo's backstage controversy with the TV channel. How can we Goans help him from so far away ? Rima .......... Dear Rima: Use your Remo-te control ?? ____________________________________________________________________________ 11. DEAR AUNTY, Where in Goa can I exercise vocabulary & build great puns like yours? Pundit ............ Dear Pundit: Pun Gym is a capital place to start ! (Panjim=capital of Goa!)* ____________________________________________________________________________ 12. DEAR AUNTY, Riddle: Why shouldnt you mention Goa sausages in a police station? Porky ........... Dear Porky: Because shouting "chor.is.aum" is an admission of theft! ____________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for 'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
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