Divorce bane or boon of modern society?
It is becoming too frequent..Couples are breaking lightening fast, as divorce statistic unfold. Live in relationship whatever be the outcome, is a dangerous fad that is in vogue for the stability of the family. There is no guarantee that either LOVE OR ARRANGED MARRIAGES BREAK THE JINX OF DIVORCE PER SE. The pressure of the society and stigma of divorce is thing of the past. Second marriage be it with a divorcee etc needs no sociable approval or otherwise.. Couples are willing to start a new relationship. The concept of use and throw away seem to apply here too. Why should incompatibility whether physical or intellectual prolong the agony of lifelong unity, commitment whether in health or sickness, good or bad times, until death do us apart. Nobody seem to care a damn “ what God has united together let no men put asunder”. The ease of mobility and connectivity seem to aggravate tie ups and break ups too, The concept of liberation, freedom of women, interaction mingling at work places is a now a common phenomenon. The educated women with independent incomes are no more dependent on domination, Hence dependency that used to force couples to stay together under all circumstances has evaporated. They are aware that a second fling does not alays guarantee any permanency, but is worth the effort. Then there is always another chance if thigs misfire.. The acts of infidelity and promiscuity are on the ascendancy with either sex. We are imitating the west in changing relationships with ease of changing apparels.. The parental control does not, anymore acts as a safety valve/ fuse, Young couples prefer to live separately right from the start, overlooking the help in managing homes and young offspring’s or living in a joint family environment They brook no inteference with their wisdom and experience. Maid services, creches are in demand to tide over infant problems.. There is a new found freedom in decision making as husband is no more the only bread winner, Men are losing their pivotal role as the uncrowned king of the family, creating omplexes.. The wife`s professional income also adds to their wealth creation. Arguments on the sharing of income, care of aged and in laws is a ticklish problem.. Early conception and delivery can put a wedge in the close relation ship of the new couple. or postment also has its own problems. There is legal help available for smooth separation or coming together with new partners. The sense of tolerance, patience, accommodation, adjustment is on the decline. Flimsy excuses, doubts ,pressures at work place on both being employed ,drive fissures in family relationships .Divorce separations whether with or without consent is a reality to live with irrespective of the sword of alimony. The legal system appears to be like made to order arrangement to accommodate perfectly. According to the psychological findings managing sex and finances are two major factors that accentuate divorces. In the inter caste, inter religious marriages the failure rate is abnormally high .The idea of lifelong commitment appears to be an unreasonable contract without factoring any conditions, The religious institutions to which the couple belong are more liberal today. Different religions have varying codes of conducts of stability of marriage partners Couples prefer court marriages, live in relations to circumvent/over religious restrictions The idea of surrogacy is a relief to couples avoiding phangs or joys of child bearing/ rearing Adoption is to -day a more agreeable option. The prevalent notions of childless marriages or zero births adds to selfishness. The I ,Me, mine syndrome, instead of we, us, ours creates conflicts of egos , lack of give and take principle, One of the partner being away,or long time absence due to exigencies like employment can cause fissures in relationship due to emotional vacuum. Adjustment to new friends ,specially the in laws, environment of each one protected environment marriage is difficult mental union/ adjustment which the young, immature find difficult to cope with . The faith in old relationships and looking with suspicion the set up. The age of marriages is much lower than before. The highly competitive, dynamic. pressures of modern society creates unreasonable hopes and expectations that are a strain to achieve The unity of family has bearing on the emotional needs and growth of children Those deprived of love and protection become a menace to the society and its welfare. Broken homes contribute towards social disturbances. Abandoned , orphans cause social earthquakes. The separating couples may adjust with a strain, but children are a lost brigade The financial costs of divorces on inter personal , family, society cannot be accurately computed .The stability of married couples helps the progressive society at all levels The society will collapse if the unit of family disintergrates. Divorces have also led to crimes murders and blackmailing of individuals, character assassination casting slur on women dignity and looking down upon them Nelson Lopes Chinchinim