[lace] Re: MiLANESE workshop
We've had had two last minute cancellations for places at the OIDFA Milanese workshop to be held at the Lace Museum October 9 - 11. As in the past, the workshop will be taught by Louise Colgan. One does not have to be a member of OIDFA to participate. Anyone who would like more information, charges, recommendations for housing, etc., can contact me at [EMAIL PROTECTED] or Marji Suhm, OIDFA Vice-president at [EMAIL PROTECTED] Elaine Merritt The Lace Museum 552 South Murphy Avenue Sunnyvale CA 94086 Tel: 408 730 4695 - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Re: lace-digest V2004 #288
In a message dated 8/27/2004 4:19:42 AM GMT Daylight Time, Renee Ford, writes I'm ready to move back to the San Francisco Bay Area! Best to all, Renee in Tucson Don't forget to visit the Lace Museum when you get back!! Our current exhibition is of handkerchiefs and in addition to its being visually quite lovely, it is VERY informative. Elaine Merritt The Lace Museum 552 South Murphy Avenue Sunnyvale CA 94086 Tel: 408 730 4695 - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Stumpwork pronunciation (a little long)
Hi, all,
Just a thought about both these threads: historically, names of laces
were something that were only applied _after_ the late 17-th-Century,
and many of them were only named for the first time in the 19-th.
The naming of laces was largely a matter of commercial convenience, and
not usually influenced in any way by the lacemakers, or even the lace
consumers. The passion for categorizing everything (a feature of the
18-th and 19-th-C.) played into naming, too, but the main development
of specific lace names was done by commercial lace factors and vendors.
That's one of the reasons that we have very romantic and elegant
names for some laces, and multiple names for so many, but mostly we
have lace-names based on the region where each was developed and
(mostly) made.
Given that we no longer have the commercial structure that once was,
the things we do now with our hybridized, amateur, creative lace
deserve whatever names we want to give them at the time -- granted that
most of us, I suspect, will want to give at least a nod of recognition
to the historic sources used. Mixed lace seems to be the term I've
come across most often, describing any lace that uses two or more
pure and distinguishable techniques. Knowing the historic basis of
each piece we choose to design and/or work is satisfying, true, but
really, I haven't a hope of making Honiton lace (or Alencon, or
Burano, ...) unless I live there! Until then, I can only try, at
best, making lace _like_ they make it in the area around the town of
Honiton -- which is what vendors selling laces out of their
area-of-origin named the laces for, anyway, back when regional styles
became marketable by regional names.
As for pronunciation: use whatever is in common usage around you, up
to as correct a standard as you can manage. You're there to teach,
but also to communicate. If the proper non-English pronunciation
seems too stuffed-shirt for you, use it anyway, but work a chatty
translation into your patter --- i.e., Point de Neige ('pwon de
nayzh') translates as 'snowflake lace,' and see on the slide, here, all
those little decorations on the bars really do look like tiny
snowflakes, don't they? You can anglicize all you like, but
you'll eventually come up against a name which A) can't be anglicized
-- like Alencon or Halas ('halash') or Youghal -- or which B) sounds
very silly when translated or anglicized too literally (at least to the
knowledgeable -- talk about feeling like a boob over
mis-pronunciations! :-D ) -- such as Gros Point or Point de Gaze.
One of my own beefs with published lace information (including Santina
Levey, unfortunately -- omg, my goddess has a chip in her pedestal!
vbg) is the almost universal absence of pronunciation guides, even in
so-called dictionaries of lace! Most of us have enough knowledge of
French pronunciation to distinguish some pronunciations, for instance,
in needle-lace, between the 'cordonnette' and the 'cordonnet,' but not
everyone starts learning with a teacher always standing by. Learning
first from a teacher, then continuing with a book (or vice-versa), can
be very confusing without help with the non-English terminology. So
why don't more authors -- aw, heck, at least _some_ authors! -- give
the student that help automatically? Beats me. big sigh
Just my two-cents' worth.
Yours in lacing,
Beth Schoenberg
--- in beautiful downtown Wanniassa, Canberra, where I had to interrupt
this composition and turn the computer off for a while during the
thunder, lightning, and hail-storm earlier.
-
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[lace] RE: gros point
Furniture :-) Don't think my Dad would allow the dancers in the house (might not get much lacemaking done while they were there, either :-) ) even though Mum might. Cheers, Helen - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Alford Footnote for Tina
Dear Lacemakers, In the Introduction, page XIX, Cynthia Tiger explains It was a common literary device of the time to use familiar last names and thus imbue the character with certain family traits. A very important (to people with our interests and skills) name is mentioned on page 24 of the text I fear the beautiful Lady Viola Alford would not feel complimented by the forced indifference that you have manifest to-day. Noting that Tina had 1882 and 1892 copyrights, I share with you the information that the School of Art Needlework in London was founded in 1872. This was later renamed the Royal School of Needlework (and exists to this day - located at Hampton Court Palace in a Grace and Favor apartment granted by the Queen). When this school was founded, Princess Christian of Schleswig-Holstein (daughter of Queen Victoria) served as the first President. The working committee serving with her included Lady Marion M. Alford! As I recall from reading elsewhere, it was Lady Alford who tended to the demanding day-to-day operations at this school, which employed over 100 women and undertook commissions, working to designs by leading painters of the day. Lady Alford authored Needlework as Art which was dedicated by permission to the Queen. This lovely book was published in 1886. It contains 11 Chapters and 422 pages. The history of the time reflected in its pages ties together many loose ends left by other authors who did not have knowledge of needlework, and it places needlework on a high pedestal. Reprinted within is Story of Arachne, abridged by Earl Cowper from Ovid's Metamorphoses - happily, it is in English! It pays to keep all doors open when seeking rare books. This one came into my hands right here in semi-rural Maine. The owner of a local used book store called to say he had just acquired a needlework book, and would I like to stop in to look at it? It turned out to be a first edition, in near mint condition. Jeri Ames in Maine USA Lace Embroidery Resource Center - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Lace Guild Website Update
Summer's almost gone, and we've now updated The Lace Guild website (address in the signature). As well as the usual new event listings, we've made revisions to the suppliers pages and updated our own prices following changes in postal rates. Of more general interest is the featuring of articles from the July issue of 'Lace' - one on Turkish needlelace from Gwynedd Roberts, and an article by Arachne's own Sue Babbs. The Young Lacemakers' section also has new material, although the French version is awaiting translation. Finally, we would draw UK members' attention to the change in dates and venue for the Lace Guild's 2005 Convention, details of which are on the site. Let us know of any problems (after refreshing/reloading your browser if you still see the old pages). David and Jean in Glasgow -- Lace Guild home page: http://www.laceguild.org (alternative if problems: http://www.laceguild.demon.co.uk/) - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] New and saying hi
Hi Everyone, My name is Tracy and I just joined the list a couple of days ago. I am Australian but currently live in the USA. My husband is American and a computer consultant/programmer. We move quite often with his work, so I really cannot call anywhere here in the USA as home. Currently we are in Fort Wayne, IN, having just moved from Jacksonville, FL. I have a 16yo son and a 12yo daughter. I am hoping to start to learn bobbin lace making again. I started learning about 12 years ago back in Australia. I don't know what type of bobbin lace it was that I was doing but as usual I like to start with something difficult, so started with a nice lace doily. I was not able to continue though as things happened in my life and I didn't have the time. Now I do though, and would really like to start learning again. So I have done some internet searching and joined a couple of email lists. I am hoping that I can get some advice from you all as to how I can learn again, where are the best places to buy supplies, best books for patterns and instruction, etc. I move to much so cannot join a regional group and take lessons that way. Looking forward to talking with you all, Tracy - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] New and saying hi
Welcome to Arachne Tracy, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and find it a mine of information! First stop would be Lori's site www.lacefairy.com There are quite a few Australians in this group, hope we don't make you feel homesick Noelene in Cooma [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://members.ozemail.com.au/~nlafferty/ - Original Message - From: Tracy Heritage Michaels [EMAIL PROTECTED] - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Re: New and saying hi
Hi Noelene, Thanks for the welcome. I am on my way now to check out Lori's site. Thank you. As for homesick, well, I am very homesick. Haven't been home for 7.5 years, but we are moving back home the end of this year. So not much longer to go and back to South Oz I will be. I love your round house. My husband wants to build a round house when we go home. Such a great use of space. Tracy On 9/7/04 7:45 PM, W N Lafferty [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Welcome to Arachne Tracy, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and find it a mine of information! First stop would be Lori's site www.lacefairy.com There are quite a few Australians in this group, hope we don't make you feel homesick Noelene in Cooma [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://members.ozemail.com.au/~nlafferty/ - Original Message - From: Tracy Heritage Michaels [EMAIL PROTECTED] - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] RE:new and saying Hi
Hi Tracy, Welcome aboard! I'm sure there's someone in your area who's able to help you out. Otherwise, just get DH to move you all to Denver, and I can help you out! :-) You may want to consider joining a Guild (like IOLI) which has a library, and then you can borrow, regardless of where you are. I would think that they would have videos, which can be a help when getting going. Cheers, Helen, Fellow Aussie in Denver (formerly of Melbourne, Australia), where we are enjoying a fabulous late summer, and the aspens are beginning to change colour - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] needlelace
Lynn Please look at two web pages I have created which show examples of needlelace, and show how it is made: http://www.chicagoarealaceguild.com/needlelace.htm http://www.loreleihalley.com/needlelace.htm The first one shows the set up and explains the working in general terms. The second has several examples of historic needlelace, and some modern as well. There are some living lacemakers doing really spectacular work. Lorelei - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Re: lace-digest V2004 #290
In a message dated 8/27/2004 11:53:59 PM GMT Daylight Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: the most frequently asked question: Your book is selling really well--are you making a lot of money on it? NO! EMPHATICALLY NO!!! Writing books is excelled only by lacemaking in its ability to turn vast amounts of time into excessively small amounts of money. I'm just in it for the cute boys. But, come to think of it... Dear, dear Cathy, Thank you so much for putting such good information about the complicated copyright situation in a clever and useful manner. I researched this subject myself years ago with an attorney. You are much easier to understand than he was, and I hope Arachneans will be grateful. Ralph and I are just back from the UK and I have a new kitten to integrate into the household. We hope to be able to take her with us next spring. I'm sticking close to home for a week or so because of her so may not manage to get into the Museum this weekend. I'm sure your workshop will be a great success. Hope to see you soon. Are you up for lunch one of these days? Love, Elaine Elaine Merritt The Lace Museum 552 South Murphy Avenue Sunnyvale CA 94086 Tel: 408 730 4695 - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace] Re: New and saying hi
Tracy, as an occasional guest of Noelene and her hubbie Bill, I can tell you her round house is a great use of space, and if it is too cold or rainy outdoors you can get lots of exercise running the circular length of her corridors. Hi Noelene - lol Lynn Scott, Wollongong, Australia - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace] Needlelace
Lyn askes how needlelace is worked. The pattern/design is tacked to a 3 or 4 layered pad of firm fabric, and the outline of the pattern is traced with a double coarse thead, which is couched down through the pad. These are the only stitches to go through the fabric. Everything else is worked on top. The filling stitches are all variations of the plain old Buttonhole stitch, and the rows are worked from one side of the trace thread to the other. They are only supported by the trace threads. When all is finished, and an edging stitch worked around it all, the couching stitches are cut and the lace is released from the pattern. This is a Very abbreviated account, but may give you an idea. It can be worked in the hand, or pinned to a special sort of pillow - more like a small bolster pillow. Mine, which I rarely use, is made from an old coffee tin, and covered with felt, and then fabric! It is only used to hold the pattern and give the worker both hands free to manipulate the threads. from Liz in Melbourne, Oz, [EMAIL PROTECTED] - To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Pronunciation
You wouldn't think my name would pose any problems, but it does. Nathan is pronounced 'nae-than', with the th as in 'thin'. We get: nae-than with the th as in 'then' na-than with the na as in 'hat' and the th as in 'thin' nattan nat-han na-tarn (from a call centre based in India, presumably 'than' as 'khan') and unless spelt, saying the correct pronunciation of 'nae-than' on the telephone results in written: natham matham latham mason nation Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] This made me smile
I had seen something similar, but this had a different twist at the end. This is the greatest revenge I have heard - Power to the Woman She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the removalists come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a kilo of prawns, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten prawn shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rats, and carpets were steam-cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and she would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back... Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home... ..including the curtain rods. I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU Malvary in Ottawa. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] A letter from the Managing Director
Here's a good example of the calibre of people in top management. I sent a letter of complaint to the managing director of Comet (a nationwide electrical retailer) which contained the following: My 3 year old Zanussi washer/dryer needs attention, and I have a 5 year warranty policy with Comet. Following the instructions on the policy, I telephoned what I thought was the nearest Comet service centre in Bristol, gave my postcode and the fact that it was a Zanussi washer/dryer. I was told I had the wrong office, and I needed to contact the Exeter office. I'm fine with that, but then, repeating my postcode and the fact that is was a Zanussi washer/dryer each time I telephoned the Exeter office and was told I needed to contact the Bristol office. I told them that the Bristol office said I needed Exeter, and was told again that I needed Bristol. I repeated that I'd been told I needed Exeter, and was told sorry, I actually needed Eastleigh. I telephoned Eastleigh and was told that in fact I didn't need any of the Comet service centres, but needed to contact a Zanussi service centre, and that it was on my policy - no it isn't! I telephoned your Customer Services department, and, having been kept waiting for 5 minutes 58 seconds . finally got to speak to someone who said there was nothing she could do about my complaint. I got a reply this morning from someone in the managing directors' office (How she got there I can't imagine) which contained six sentences, two of which are: All colleagues' work hard to ensure that one of our customers receive the very best possibe service when their product is in need of repair. (I wonder which one, and note the apostrophe.) Once again Mrs Nathan, I am sorry to hear about this and assure you that we will take learning's from this very unfortunate incident. (take learning's? what kind of grammar is that? And another apostrophe.) I'm very tempted to put it in an envelope and return it with a note suggesting that she should take learning's about when apostrophes are used. Or perhaps I should send her a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves. The washing machine was repaired this morning - no thanks to Comet. Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Pronunciation
I am getting lots of promotional phone calls at the moment - including a regular one at 9.30 on a Sunday evening, presumably from a call centre where the time difference means it's Monday morning there - and lots ask to speak to Mr or Mrs Whitefield I either tell them there is no e in the middle of Whitfield or that there is no-one called Whitefield at this address, and put the phone down. And then theres the spam. I checked the e-mails after five days and there were 460. When I'd got rid of the spam and messages already received (my ISP ofen disconnects half-way through the list of messages, then repeats them all when I connect again) there were 74. I know lots of this stuff is sent automatically by computer but surely there must be real people involved somewhere. How do they make enough profit to carry on sending this junk. Joan from Yorkshire To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] Pronunciation
On 7 Sep 2004, at 21:28, Joan Whitfield wrote: I am getting lots of promotional phone calls at the moment - including a regular one at 9.30 on a Sunday evening, presumably from a call centre where the time difference means it's Monday morning there - and lots ask to speak to Mr or Mrs Whitefield I either tell them there is no e in the middle of Whitfield or that there is no-one called Whitefield at this address, and put the phone down. Registering your number with the Telephone Preference Service should help a lot - it takes a while for the system to kick in but we now get very few of those calls. If I do - and I'm always very suspicious when someone can't pronounce my surname!) I ask what they are selling. If the answer is 'Oh I'm not selling anything and then they go on to speak about fitted kitchens, double glazing, insurance or whatever my reply is You tell lies as well and put the phone down. Telephone Preference Service info is at the front of the BT Phone Book. And then theres the spam. I checked the e-mails after five days and there were 460. When I'd got rid of the spam and messages already received (my ISP ofen disconnects half-way through the list of messages, then repeats them all when I connect again) there were 74. I know lots of this stuff is sent automatically by computer but surely there must be real people involved somewhere. How do they make enough profit to carry on sending this junk. Spam was a real pain on dial-up, but doesn't bother me so much now we've got broadband. Doesn't cost anything extra to download and 90% or more of it goes straight into the 'junk' mailbox and deletes itself. The rest I just click to send it to 'junk' and anything else from that sender in the future will go there too. On pronunciation / spelling I get all sorts of oddities like Patternoster Patamosta pattermosta Patter-Noster. but in old records it's very rarely miss-spelt. I presume that's because most of the old documents ere written by clerics who had a knowledge of Latin. My maiden name was Bowles; here's just a few of the more plausible spelling variations (from a Bowles family history email list) Bales, Ball, Balls, Baus, Bawles, Biles, Boal, Boales, Boals, Boas, Boase, Boaz, Boehle, Boel, Boels, Bohles, Bolds, Bole, Boles, Bolla, Bolle, Bollis, Bolles, Bollo, Bolls, Bolz, Booles, Booll, Bools, Bos, Boueels, Bouhl, Boules, Bouls, Bow, Bowels, Bowies, Bowle, Bowlds, Bowles, Bowls, Bowlus, Bows, Boyl, Boyle, Boyles, Boyll, Byles. When my Dad was working in France some years ago his French colleagues pronounced it Boo-lay. Brenda http://www.argonet.co.uk/users/paternoster/ To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Comedians' Take on Bush
I'm beginning to think I'm wasting my time on Arachne lace and chat; I ought to be watching more TV, specifically Jay Leno :) From: R.P. A new poll says that if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat President Bush by a double digit margin. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month. -- Jay Leno President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial, highlighting all of his accomplishments in office. That's why it's a 15-second spot. -- Jay Leno President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?' --Jay Leno Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That's the total number of delegates he needs to win the Democratic nomination. See, for President Bush it's different. His magic number is only 5. That's the number of Supreme Court judges needed to win. -- Jay Leno There was a scare in Washington when a man climbed over the White House wall and was arrested. This marks the first time a person has gotten into The White House unlawfully since President Bush. -- David Letterman The White House is now backtracking from its prediction that 2.6 million new jobs will be created in the U.S. this year. They say they were off, by roughly 2.6 million jobs. -- Jay Leno In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part: nobody remembers seeing him there. -- Craig Kilborn President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the people should make the decision, not judges. Unless of course we're choosing a president, then he prefers judges. -- Jay Leno There was an embarrassing moment in the White House earlier today. They were looking around searching for George Bush's military records. They actually found some old Al Gore ballots. -- David Letterman The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy.' -- Jay Leno On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, 'Phhh, you mean like last time?' -- Jay Leno This week, both John Kerry and Wesley Clark are making campaign appearance with the guys who saved their lives in Vietnam. Meanwhile, President Bush is campaigning with a guy that once took a math test for him. -- Conan O'Brien President Bush released his new $2.4 trillion federal budget. It has two parts: smoke and mirrors. -- Jay Leno Bush admitted that his pre-war intelligence wasn't what it should have been. We knew that when we elected him! -- Jay Leno As you know President Bush gave his State of the Union Address, interrupted 70 times by applause and 45 times by really big words. -- Jay Leno President Bush said that American workers will need new skills to get the new jobs in the 21st century. Some of the skills they're going to need are Spanish, Chinese, and Korean, because that's where the jobs went. -- Jay Leno President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's drinking again. -- David Letterman The new Prime Minister of Spain has called the war in Iraq a disaster, and plans to bring his troops home as soon as possible. In fact, President Bush is so upset at Spain that he is now threatening to close down the border between Spain and the US. -- Jay Leno The U.S. Army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said, 'Yes.' -- Conan O'Brien Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. 'He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time, at an undisclosed location.' Thank God he cleared that up. -- Jay Leno Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons. It's not easy for President Bush. He can't just name a replacement. He would first have to be confirmed by the oil, gas and power companies. -- Jay Leno President Bush spoke briefly to reporters before playing a round of golf in Crawford, Texas, earlier today. This raises the question: Shouldn't the guy who is really running the country and who has had like 20 heart attacks be taking the vacation? -- Craig Kilborn The White House has now released military documents they say prove George Bush met his requirements for the National Guard. Big deal, we've got documents that
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: religious?
I missed something growing up as an atheist; never a dull moment in church, it seems... :) From: T. H. CHURCH FEUD There was a feud between the Pastor and the Choir Director of The Hicksville Southern Baptist Church. It seems the first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on dedicating yourselves to service and the Choir Director chose to sing: I Shall Not Be Moved. Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he preached on giving. Afterwards, the choir squirmed as the director led them in the hymn: Jesus Paid It All. By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper. Sunday morning attendance swelled as the tension between the two built. A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his sermon on! the sin Of gossiping. Would you believe the Choir Director selected: I Love To Tell The Story? There was no turning back. The following Sunday the Pastor told the congregation that unless something changed, he was considering resignation. The entire church gasped when the Choir Director led them in: Why Not Tonight? Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor resigned a week Later, explaining that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The Choir Director could not resist: What A Friend We Have In Jesus. Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below. Quickly, she wrote, Don't despair. Sister Barbara, on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at the convent's door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. What's this? she asked. That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister he replied. Don't Despair paid 80-to-1. --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Spam
Tamara, The porn spam just downloads itself. I delete any mail that comes that I can't identify - or that I identify as spam, but this other stuff just appears. Yesterday one even installed itelf. I was able to un-install it without opening it, but it is very annoying. I have a fire wall, and the Cable Broadband is suppose to have a better firewall, spam filters etc - but still the rubbish get through. from Liz in Melbourne, Oz, [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
