[lace-chat] Fw: They walk amongst us!
I'm sure these are made up, still funny though jenny barron Sunny NE Scotland Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: Free to good home you want it, you take it. For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: Fridge for sale $50. The next day someone stole it. Caution.. They Walk Among Us While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, Does the sun rise in the north? When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff. They Walk Among Us! I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I Got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He responded, Is that Eastern or Pacific time? Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, Uh, Pacific They Walk Among Us! My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but didnt think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving. . They Walk Among Us! My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car that's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us! My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount They Walk Among Us! I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head? I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. Now, she asked me, has your plane arrived yet? They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Yep, They Walk Among Us! To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] English as it is Spoked
Alice, There are a few expressions which have crept into Australian English (goodness knows from where) that really bug the pedants. These include such phrases as: - growing an economy, where the verb to grow seems to have replaced those such as: to develop, improve, increase, enlarge, advance, expand, etc. I've even heard it used with reference to growing the audience numbers - ahead of has replaced: prior to, before - in back of has replaced: after, following, behind. Just thoughts, David in Ballarat To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] grammar and spoked Henglish
Dear Thurlow, Do not speak of that of about which we talk of not speaking about. A fabulous convolution, but what was wrong with: Do not speak about that of which we are not speaking, or are not permitted to speak I suppose it was the fact that this was a spoof and the writers were trying to use as many prepositions as possible. David in Ballarat To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Re: [lace] Demo on Sat 19th North Herts UK
Sorry , I do believe it clashes with Biggleswade Lace Day. Anne To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] English as it is Spoked
The one that has crept into American English that irritates me is the use of impacted instead of affected. For example, People were impacted by the weather. What's wrong with People were *affected* by the weather. (Unless, of course, people were in the path of a large meteorite, in which case I suppose they could quite literally be impacted...) Thurlow David wrote: There are a few expressions which have crept into Australian English (goodness knows from where) that really bug the pedants. These include such phrases as: - growing an economy, where the verb to grow seems to have replaced those such as: to develop, improve, increase, enlarge, advance, expand, etc. I've even heard it used with reference to growing the audience numbers - ahead of has replaced: prior to, before - in back of has replaced: after, following, behind. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Re: English as it is Spoked
My small, local ISP had a glitch over the weekend; I was able to receive mail but unable to send out any. The offices are closed over the weekend and, naturally, the glitch didn't happen till after 5PM on Friday... *Very* frustrating to see a conversation on language going on and being unable to participate :) At work we have the usual notices in the toilets reminding you to wash your hands, including a large printed and laminated poster with a diagram of a hand showing areas between the fingers highlighted and the words These are the areas that it is easy to miss. I say it should be These are the areas that are easy to miss. And I say it should be: These are the areas which are easy to miss, if we don't want to use the simpler: It's easy to miss these areas VBG The extinction of which and who as relative pronouns in today's usage -- both spoken and written -- is my current pet peeve. It's not that it's bad grammar but it's sloppy and it's lazy and it can be confusing. True, that is a perfect substitute for either: which or who, but it had always been plan B solution; you used it *after* you'd used which or who, so as to avoid repetition. Now, with that being used everywhere as the first choice, half of the time I don't know what (or who) that that is referring to. Drives me batty. your/you're, there/their/they're have been driving me batty for a long time. Also the express checkouts which proclaim that you have to have 15 items or less. Failing to distinguish between loath and loathe and affect/effect doesn't do anything for my peace of mind either. And I've almost given up on he was nice to my mother and I... The invasion of that is much newer, I think; it seems to have appeared out of nowhere only in the last year or so. -- Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/ Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Happy Mother's Day
Because of my tech-glitch which happened over the weekend, this is coming in a day later than intended; Mother's Day in US was yesterday. But it's still funny, I think, even the day after. From: N.N. The author of this gem is unknown. So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom. Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chap-stick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chap-stick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chap-stick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done. Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chap-stick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said chapped. Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth. And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chap-stick on the cat's butt. -- Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/ Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
