--- Marcus Bauer [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
Comprised of hundreds of volunteer developers
and industry-leading
companies, the GNOME Foundation is an organization
committed to
supporting the advancement of GNOME. GNOME is a
free software project
that provides a complete, easy to use desktop for
a variety of
operating systems, including GNU/Linux, BSD,
Solaris (tm), Operating
Environment, HP-UX, Unix, BSD and Apple's Darwin.
More than 700
computer developers, including over 100 full-time,
paid developers,
contribute their time and effort to the project.
New suggestion:
Comprised of hundreds of volunteer developers and
industry-leading
companies, GNOME is aiming to create a computing
environment for the
general public that is completely free software.
Target platforms are both the desktop as well as
embedded devices. At
the same time GNOME is committed to enable people
with disabilities
through an elaborated Accessibility framework as the
result of several
years of effort.
Comments?
It's a lot clearer :)
Check from native speakers?
'comprise' never goes with 'of'.
'Comprising hundreds of volunteer developers...'
'Target platforms are both the desktop as well
embedded devices.'
You don't need 'both' AND 'as well'.
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