Stacy, some practical thoughts. If you reflect on this question with
any degree of honesty, you already know that there are some things we
simply do not ever forgive, notwithstanding the doctrines of the
Church and the principles of repentence.
It seems to me that societies and cultures deem certain acts or types of
behavior to be so threatening or offensive that those offenders can
never really effectively pay their debt to society. In other times
and places there were different categories of specific offenses that
were unforgivable. Today we have our own set. The people we now
categorize as sex offenders receive the most severe and lasting
stigma. I think it would be a mistake for you to engage with such an
individual, not necessarily because of any of his wrongdoing or
propensities for evil, but rather, because he will likely ever be
burdened with the social stigma, and if you associate with him, you will
have to willingly share that burden.
This is from the personal perspective of one who carries such a stigma.
Since I became legally divorced I have been classified a deadbeat dad,
a despicable criminal in the eyes of the state, and I have learned that
while many people claim to be compassionate and forgiving, much of the
time they don't really mean it in any substantive sense. As soon as
they learn about my criminal status, they are automatically filled with
righteous hatred. There is an implicit understanding that bad people
deserve nothing but contempt. In fact someone said as much to me at one
time, right here on this list.
I can testify, it would take a very special relationship to get me to
believe that people will ever trust me again. I suggest that the very
fact that you express doubt about the efficacy of atonement and
repentance are indications that this isn't a relationship for you to
pursue.
Thoughts along the same line--there is an interesting public debate
currently heating up on this criminal history issue. Some civil rights
advocates now complain that public access to criminal history data
violates the constitutional prohibition of cruel and unusual
punishment, since it effectively becomes a life sentence for
individuals whose names are listed.
This becomes complicated and confused with other cultural values, since
many are so vehemently opposed to the death penalty.
It is a complicated world we live in.
---
Mij Ebaboc
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