Why disability is not inability Jul 10, 2018, 02.30 Mumbai Mirror
How a corporate trainer and India’s first blind aerobics instructor, learnt to live outside the boundaries set by others Preeti Monga lost her eyesight when she was 13. However, Monga, who became the country’s first blind aerobics instructor when she was in her late- 20s, and later set up her own recruitments and corporate training firm, says it was never her disability that held her back, but the voices of naysayers which constantly bored into her ears. Now 58, the Delhiresident, who has also founded an NGO that empowers blind women, says her new book, Flight Without Sight (Hay House), is not just about how she overcame the odds to achieve success, but also about how others can. She shares a few lessons she has learnt on her journey. “Thousands of women know the fear that develops when you’re constantly told that you cannot go here or there, or do this or that. As a blind woman, I was not allowed to do anything. The problem with this is that it makes you afraid, and diminishes your confidence,” says Monga. She recalls a time when she worked as the head of public relations for a hospital. “I was unduly affected by the harsh words of colleagues who felt I did not deserve my role.” Monga believes that the reason the envy of her colleagues saddened and unsettled her at first was because she let it get to her. “Workplace jealousy is no new phenomenon, but back then, rather than understanding that they were driven by their insecurities, I believed it was my performance that was lacking. It took me a while to understand that my work spoke for itself.” Monga says the reason she pulled through tempestuous times was because she confronted her fear rationally. “I told myself my own story and recorded it. Then, I conquered it by refusing to live within the boundaries somebody else set for me.” Never stop dreaming The key to realising one’s ambitions, says Monga, is to “develop the ability to deal with failure daily, but to continue to dream ofsuccess.” She says that most people imagine hurdles on the path to their goals to be higher than they really are. “Many simply stop trying to leap over these.” This was true about Monga too, for a while at least. Monga had an arranged marriage. “My parents worried about who would marry me, so when someone offered to, they felt this was the best thing for me.” Unfortunately, her first husband (with whom she had two children) was very abusive, says Monga. “I put up with the suffering for years because I feared a violent reaction if I asked him to leave.” Ultimately, she did just that. “I threw his things into a bag and asked him to leave. All that time, I had been holding myself back, but it was as simple as that. I was finally free.” In 1988, after the birth of her two children Monga started exercising to shed the weight she had put on. She did aerobics by listening to instructors on a fitness show that aired on Doordarshan. That was when it struck her, this was something she may be able to do. “People were also spending Rs 300 back then on fitness video cassettes, so I thought they might just be interested in working out with a [blind] instructor for half the price.” Monga trained with an instructor who diligently taught her the moves, and, on her insistence, allowed her to handle the classes when she (the instructor) took off on a vacation. Her colleagues protested, but Monga says she proved herself to be better than the doubters at teaching aerobics and retained her position. She earned her first salary — Rs 650 — at the aerobics centre. In 2010, after working with several companies, including as the marketing head of a pickles firm, she began getting invites from corporates to talk about her journey. Talk to a trusted friend Monga compares ‘suffering in silence’ to a terminal disease that can keep you from appreciating “the gift of life.” Her aunt Frauke stood by her like a rock. Monga says that just knowing that you’re with someone who’s actually listening to your story with compassion and without judgment can be immensely cathartic. “This shifted my perspective entirely. I felt like I was entitled to happiness, too.” “Having someone around can make all the difference. You may, for instance, come to understand that it is not that the universe is not fulfilling your dreams, but perhaps that you aren’t focusing on the dreams that have been fulfilled.” Monga says that if there’s one thing that she’s come to see clearly through 45 years of blindness, it’s this: “When you can’t do anything about your situation, learn to make the most of what you have.” The key to realising one’s ambitions, says Monga, is to “develop the ability to deal with failure daily, but to continue to dream of success.” . Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. 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