"Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." Definitely true when it comes to Berners.
Unfortunately, I am sorry to update, our Berner family has lost a great friend. Our girl Tilly didn't make it. I arrived at the hospital Saturday morning and was greeted with a thunderous Tilly greeting. (It's amazing given how critically ill Tilly was that every time I arrived she jumped up, bounded to greet me, wagged her tail furiously, gave me a big Berner smile and howled as if she hadn't seen me in years.) Although Tilly's condition was stable and her numbers were holding Friday night, as she did many other days she again took a turn for the worse. I spent a few minutes with Tilly and then looked at her chart. My heart sank. Her PCV had dropped to 13. Her TS to 3.8. I looked at Tilly and saw it in her now sunken eyes. It was time to say good-bye. The DVM came in and based on my sobbing, he knew I knew. The first thing he said was "I'm sorry. We did everything we could." He told me her PCV and TS were down, her liver enzymes were up, he did not see any platelets on her blood smear and she was beginning to waste away. I looked at him, and sobbed "I want to take her home." They offered me to drive my truck around to the back to pick her up. But Tilly and I wanted to walk out the front door the way she came in. My girl wasn't going out anyone's back door. We gathered her things and began our walk to the truck. She was psyched. She knew she was "outta there." Tilly - the character she is wanted to make sure she had the last laugh. When we got to the middle of the waiting room Tilly proceeded to squat down and take the longest pee I have ever seen. The Vet just looked, chuckled and said "Well, that's okay. She can pee there." Being a Saturday morning, the waiting room was very full. Everyone was just watching. I'm sobbing and laughing saying, "It's okay girl. You pee where ever you want". People had to be wondering what the heck was going on. When she was done she picked up her head and proudly walked away leaving a spot about 2 feet wide and 3 feet long of pee. My funny girl Tilly decided that wasn't enough. We went outside and started down the walkway and just as Tilly reached the end of the walkway she squatted again and left a big poop right at the walkway entrance. The Vet laughed and said what a good dog she was, so good she would never go in her cage because she was so well trained. As soon as Tilly saw my open truck she started jogging towards it. The Vet remarked that she's one amazing dog. She certainly didn't look sick. He said all other dogs would have given up 5 days earlier and what remarkable spirit she has. We put her in the truck, I gave her a frosty paw for the ride and we started home. Tilly's favorite place in the world is at my parents - in the middle of 25 acres of woods. Tilly loved to chase the chipmunks and squirrels, dig holes, lay in my mother's garden and spend lots of time there. It was obvious that would be her final resting-place. We called our home Vet and he agreed to come over that afternoon. What a wonderful day we had. We laid down a blanket on the lawn, under a dogwood tree and spent the next 5 hours enjoying our time together. All Tilly's favorite people were with her. She never lost her ravenous appetite, had another frosty paw and stole a blueberry muffin, a tuna fish sandwich and some chips from our plates. My parents made her a special last meal, a Venison burger. You would have thought she hadn't eaten in years. Being the wonderful dog she is, despite her condition, twice she jumped up, walked off the lawn into the woods to pee and came to lie back down. She knows that Grammy and Grammpy prefer she didn't pee on the lawn. Then Tilly got up and went and laid down in the garden under the dogwood tree. We knew and she knew it was time. In Tilly's last moments she was surrounded by her favorite people and her Buddy Sasha (and her Golden Retriever cousin Winnie). I held her in my arms and told her it was okay and she didn't have to fight anymore. She peacefully went to sleep. Several odd things happened that day. Just minutes after Tilly was in her final resting place and we said our good-byes, what was a sunny day turned into a cloudy rainy day. Next, when I arrived home I went to the candle I had lit for Tilly a week earlier and it was down to the end and just about to go out. A friend said we should go for a ride just to get out and away. We're driving down the highway, it's 9pm, raining hard and there is low cloud cover. When up ahead I see a fireworks display. My friend and I just looked at each other in astonishment. Why on a random, rainy, cloudy June 21st? We pulled over and watched the fireworks and knew it was a sign. Tilly had crossed over the rainbow bridge and was letting us know she was okay. (she always did everything in big fashion.) Oddly enough while we were watching the fireworks I saw a vision in my head - the candle I had lit for Tilly went out. I miss my dear Tilly terribly. I can't believe she is gone, and so fast. The pain in my heart is agonizing. But, I know we made the right decision. Tilly put up a tremendous fight, but she was tired. We did everything we could. Tilly and I talk now and she tells me that she misses me too. But she is happy. She is meeting all of the other angel dogs and having a blast. She promises that she'll be the first to greet Sasha and me when we both arrive. I was truly blessed to have Tilly for almost 9 years. (Her birthday is July 4th - perhaps the reason why we saw a fireworks display on a random, rainy cloudy June 21st?!) She was the best dog in the world. She can never be replaced. She was also my first Berner and I know now I will never be able to be Bernerless. I put a new picture on the web. It's definitely a Tilly shot. I want to share Tilly with everyone so feel free to look. (www.harmonyhorsecare.com go to the Tilly and Sasha link at the bottom.) Thank you for your support through this much too long and much too quick week. Tilly thanks you too. Please say one last prayer for Tilly. Wish all the best for her and be happy that she is now resting peacefully. And please give all your poochies a hug from us Pam, Sasha and Angeldog Tilly Massachusetts
