Subject: Wisdom from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar


 <http://www.artofliving.org/rss-what-sri-sri-said-today> Wisdom from Sri Sri 
Ravi Shankar 
 
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Q: Gurudev, you have often spoken about the role of the husband and wife to 
have a successful married life. Today please tell us about the role of in-laws 
in having a happy married life.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: See, your mother and your father have scolded you so many 
times, isn’t it? When your mother scolds you, you easily accept it. But if the 
same thing is said by your mother-in-law, then it hurts and disturbs you, like 
as if something is stuck in your throat. In fact, a mother-in-law or 
father-in-law will hesitate a little before they say something to you. They 
will not scold you as much as your parents, they scold you much less. The 
authority with which they scold their own children is not the same with their 
daughter-in-law or son-in-law. And when one exercise and acts with a feeling of 
authority over the other person then sometimes they will scold or say some 
unpleasant things. But it hurts you more because you don’t think of them as 
your own, you think of them as strangers. If you think of your mother-in-law as 
your mother, then you will go and hug her ever after an argument. But if you 
think of them as strangers, then after a fight you will expect them to make the 
effort to come and hug you, or apologize to you. In fact, if your mother-in-law 
or father-in-law scolds you, it is a good thing! You have to understand it like 
this. It means they do not see any difference between you and their own 
children. Have you never fought with your mother? Just make a comparison once. 
See these two sides once! You have fought with your mother so many times. Many 
times she also has scolded you. But did that ever hurt you in your heart? No, 
it does not hurt even a little bit. You just shrug it off. You fight with your 
mother today and the very same day you will go patch up and sit and talk with 
her as if nothing happened. So do the same thing with your mother-in-law! After 
a fight, go and sit with her and talk in the same way you would do with your 
mother. And don’t take it to heart at all. Slowly they too will change their 
ways towards you. They too undergo a change of heart. With Love you can win 
over anyone and everyone. With a sankalpa you can win over them. If both love 
and sankalpa (commitment) fail, then just pray, with grace you will surely 
overcome it. 

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