Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-09 Thread Damon Agretto
I have 2 kids, and the things that depress me are things my kids have no influence on. If you don't like kids, then you should be able to justify to yourself why you don't want them IMHO. There are things my kids do and experience that makes me happy. Watching them grow up and experience the world

Having kids is social security (was Re: Having kids makes you unhappy)

2010-07-08 Thread Nick Arnett
Seems to me that it would be good here to step outside of the developed world and recognize that when people have no safety net, having children is a form of social security - someone to take care of them when they are old. It has been surprising to me when Americans in the midst of a place like th

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-08 Thread Jo Anne
If I may put in my .02 worth... The big pay off to having children, IMO, is...GRANDchildren. What's that quote? "If I'd have known having Grandchildren was so much fun, I would have done it first" --unknown. I always knew I wanted to have kids, what I didn't know when I was 26 and had the first

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-08 Thread Nick Arnett
On Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 7:54 PM, David Hobby wrote: > > > And yet, it's very rewarding. I guess I'd boil it down > to one sentence as "Children give one's life meaning". And very large cell phone bills. Nick ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/lis

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-08 Thread Charlie Bell
On 08/07/2010, at 9:26 AM, Dan Minette wrote: > >> ...which makes ond feel worthy, satisfied... happy? >> It's impossible to separate self-interest from that too. Frankly, everyone >> does things for self-interest, even altruism... > > Metaphysical presuppositions about experiences you have nev

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread David Hobby
William T Goodall wrote: On 7 Jul 2010, at 22:45, Dan Minette wrote: It all has to do with value systems. I was mentioning William, not as finger pointing, but in recognition that he has a very different set of values than I do. I am an honest person who values truth and logical argument and

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread William T Goodall
On 7 Jul 2010, at 22:45, Dan Minette wrote: > > It all has to do with value systems. I was mentioning William, not as > finger pointing, but in recognition that he has a very different set of > values than I do. I am an honest person who values truth and logical argument and conducts himself w

RE: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread Dan Minette
-Original Message- From: brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com [mailto:brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com] On Behalf Of Charlie Bell Sent: Wednesday, July 07, 2010 5:39 PM To: Killer Bs (David Brin et al) Discussion Subject: Re: Having kids makes you unhappy On 08/07/2010, at 4:54 AM, Dan Minette wrote

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread Charlie Bell
On 08/07/2010, at 4:54 AM, Dan Minette wrote: > > It appears that the research suggests something profound, which I think you > allude to. Parenting is for folks who have goals other than their own > pleasure, who are truly willing to put the needs of others above personal > pleasure. ...which

RE: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread Dan Minette
>As it turns out, I wasn't really pointing the finger (of that last >sentence, anyway) at William, but, as you notice, at the fact that >there's something behind these numbers that suggests that parenting >operates differently from the pursuit of "pleasurable activities". Absolutely. As it turns

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread Dave Land
On Jul 7, 2010, at 11:54 AM, Dan Minette wrote: On Jul 7, 2010, at 9:41 AM, William T Goodall wrote: I'm glad I don't have any. Probably best you don't have any for your and for any children's sake, then, eh? Evidently, there's more to life than pleasing yourself. You know I'd agree wi

RE: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread Dan Minette
-Original Message- From: brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com [mailto:brin-l-boun...@mccmedia.com] On Behalf Of Dave Land Sent: Wednesday, July 07, 2010 12:20 PM To: Killer Bs (David Brin et al) Discussion Subject: Re: Having kids makes you unhappy On Jul 7, 2010, at 9:41 AM, William T Goodall

Re: Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread Dave Land
On Jul 7, 2010, at 9:41 AM, William T Goodall wrote: I'm glad I don't have any. Probably best you don't have any for your and for any children's sake, then, eh? Evidently, there's more to life than pleasing yourself. Dave ___ http://box535.blu

Having kids makes you unhappy

2010-07-07 Thread William T Goodall
>From http://nymag.com/print/?/news/features/67024/ "From the perspective of the species, it’s perfectly unmysterious why people have children. From the perspective of the individual, however, it’s more of a mystery than one might think. Most people assume that having children will make them