Re: Variation by Country?
On Sun, Jul 11, 2010 at 2:02 PM, Dan Minette danmine...@att.net wrote: Probably because the words or abandoned disappeared somewhere between my brain and my fingers. Point being, single parents aren't always because they had a one-night stand or divorced, sometimes it's because one parent disappears from the picture. I agree that single parents raising children by themselves are usually due to the other parent shirking their responsibilities. Grandparents raising kids happens for the same kind of reasons also. We find ourselves in that position every weekend these days. Nick ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Variation by Country?
Charlie wrote: (and people seem too forget that single parents are just as often bereaved as unmarried, so there's no choice for a lot of them), but it's a lot harder to do well on one's own. That didn't sound right. So, I looked at http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm Which said that less than 2% of custodial single parents were widows or widowers. Obviously, if you include folks like my mom who became a single parent when I was 53, there'd be a lot more, but I think we're all talking about parents raising children, not those with adult children on their own. I don't think this number is unique to the US, but I'll admit I know less about other countries than the US. I agree with Charlie's main thrust, but I think the overwhelming majority of children being raised by only one parent are in a situation where both parents are still alive. Dan M. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Variation by Country?
On 12/07/2010, at 5:31 AM, Dan Minette wrote: Charlie wrote: (and people seem too forget that single parents are just as often bereaved as unmarried, so there's no choice for a lot of them), but it's a lot harder to do well on one's own. That didn't sound right. Probably because the words or abandoned disappeared somewhere between my brain and my fingers. Point being, single parents aren't always because they had a one-night stand or divorced, sometimes it's because one parent disappears from the picture. Le Tour plus World Cup starting to take its toll. C. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
RE: Variation by Country?
Probably because the words or abandoned disappeared somewhere between my brain and my fingers. Point being, single parents aren't always because they had a one-night stand or divorced, sometimes it's because one parent disappears from the picture. I agree that single parents raising children by themselves are usually due to the other parent shirking their responsibilities. I've seen couples that have divorced because the conflicts were beyond repair still working hard to raise their children in a cooperate manner, putting their children's interests ahead of their own agendas. Parenting together when you don't live together is a lot more work than it was for Teri and me. She's still putting up with me years after all the kids left to sally forth on their own. :-) But, I think it's better for kids know to both parents still love them unconditionally, even when the parents are split. I have a hunch we aren't arguing here; just exploring different aspects of the same thing. Dan M. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
Re: Variation by Country?
On 12/07/2010, at 7:02 AM, Dan Minette wrote: Probably because the words or abandoned disappeared somewhere between my brain and my fingers. Point being, single parents aren't always because they had a one-night stand or divorced, sometimes it's because one parent disappears from the picture. I agree that single parents raising children by themselves are usually due to the other parent shirking their responsibilities. I've seen couples that have divorced because the conflicts were beyond repair still working hard to raise their children in a cooperate manner, putting their children's interests ahead of their own agendas. Parenting together when you don't live together is a lot more work than it was for Teri and me. She's still putting up with me years after all the kids left to sally forth on their own. :-) But, I think it's better for kids know to both parents still love them unconditionally, even when the parents are split. I have a hunch we aren't arguing here; just exploring different aspects of the same thing. Now I'm awake again - no, not arguing. I think what I was getting at above was that there's often this undercurrent in a lot of commentary that single parents are at fault somewhat for being single parents and are morally suspect in some way, and I was just pointing out that plenty of people who wind up having to raise kids by themselves are there through no fault of their own. Being widowed is one, having a male skip the picture the second you're pregnant is another, and simply bad luck is a third. I have a friend who is approaching the upper end of her safe biological window for being pregnant, and is currently going through IVF through a donor because she desperately wants a child and she has been let down by guy after guy. I have no doubt she'll do everything in her power to be as good a parent she can be (plus she has a very supportive group of friends and family). As I think we're mostly in agreement about, the variability between ability and commitment of any particular type of parental solo or partnership is greater than the differences between those types, and the most important thing is for a child to know support and love. C. ___ http://box535.bluehost.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l_mccmedia.com
