Corn Jokes!

2002-03-21 Thread Jon Hall

Ok, so I've been up for way too long, but I can't go home early because just
about everyone else already went home early because they stayed up late (and
I was here first today...screw seniority :)), and I don't dare write a line
of code when I'm this tired. So...It gives me great pleasure to present
you with the list of corn jokes I compiled from the internet today and told
aloud to the guy who sits next to me. I think he is going to kill me
now...oh well.


Question: What does poisoned corn flakes have in common with Charles Manson?
Answer: They are both Cereal (Serial) Killers.

The baby corn asks his mama corn: Where do baby corns come from? Mama says
I told ya before, the stalk (stork) brought ya.

Two corn cobs were walking downtown and the first cob noticed that they were
being followed by another strange cob everywhere they went. The first cob
whispered to the second cob Don't look know but I think we are being
followed by a stalker

A couple gets married and the wife puts a foot locker in the bedroom. She
locks it, then puts the only key on a chain around her neck. For fifty
years, her husband tries to figure out what's in there, but she always
changes the subject, and avoids the issue. Finally, on the night of their
fiftieth wedding anniversary, he says to her, I've got to know what's in
the trunk! She takes the key, unlocks the foot locker, and inside there's
two ears of corn and $25,000. The guy says, What's with the two ears of
corn? She says, Well, umm, in the fifty years, every time I broke our
marriage vows, I put an ear of corn in the trunk. The guy figures, Twice
in fifty years, not so bad... Then he says, And what's the $25,000? She
says, Well, everytime I got a bushel, I sold it.

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. The bartender says
We have no corn, get out of here. So the duck leaves. The next day he
comes back and asks for corn again, and the bartender says I told you, we
don't have any corn! Get out! So the duck leaves. The next day he goes in
again and asks for corn, and the bartender says, For the last time, we
don't have corn! If you ever come back, I'm going to nail those webbed feet
of yours to the floor! So the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes and
asks, Do you have any nails? The bartender says, No, of course not. Why
would a bar have nails? The duck then says, Good. Then can I have some
corn?

How is an ear of corn like an army?
It has lots of kernels.

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The
farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
Hey Willis!! the farmer yelled. Forget your troubles. Come in with us.
Then I'll help you get the wagon up.
That's mighty nice of you,  Willis answered, but I don't think Pa would
like me to.
Aw, come on, the farmer insisted.
Well okay, the boy finally agreed, and added, But Pa won't like it.
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. I feel a lot better now,
but I know Pa is going to be real upset.
Don't be foolish ! the neighbor said with a smile. By the way, where is
he?
Under the wagon.

What do you get when a Unicorn is runover by a Mac truck?
Creamed corn.

What do you call the best student at Unicorn school?
The Acorn.

What do Unicorns call their father?
Pop corn.

What do Unicorns use for money?
Corn Bread.

What did the baby corn say to the mom corn? Where is my pop corn?!

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

When is corn like a little quiz?
When it's popped.

What has ears but cannot hear?
 A field of corn.

What did the farmer say when he picked up the corn?
Aw, shucks!

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RE: Corn Jokes!

2002-03-21 Thread Braver, Ben

Yup, pretty corny.
friends, Romans, list members, lend me your ears.

 -Original Message-
 From: Jon Hall [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
 Sent: Thursday, March 21, 2002 2:56 PM
 To: CF-Community
 Subject: Corn Jokes!
 
 
 Ok, so I've been up for way too long, but I can't go home 
 early because just
 about everyone else already went home early because they 
 stayed up late (and
 I was here first today...screw seniority :)), and I don't 
 dare write a line
 of code when I'm this tired. So...It gives me great 
 pleasure to present
 you with the list of corn jokes I compiled from the internet 
 today and told
 aloud to the guy who sits next to me. I think he is going to kill me
 now...oh well.
 
 
 Question: What does poisoned corn flakes have in common with 
 Charles Manson?
 Answer: They are both Cereal (Serial) Killers.
 
 The baby corn asks his mama corn: Where do baby corns come 
 from? Mama says
 I told ya before, the stalk (stork) brought ya.
 
 Two corn cobs were walking downtown and the first cob noticed 
 that they were
 being followed by another strange cob everywhere they went. 
 The first cob
 whispered to the second cob Don't look know but I think we are being
 followed by a stalker
 
 A couple gets married and the wife puts a foot locker in the 
 bedroom. She
 locks it, then puts the only key on a chain around her neck. For fifty
 years, her husband tries to figure out what's in there, but she always
 changes the subject, and avoids the issue. Finally, on the 
 night of their
 fiftieth wedding anniversary, he says to her, I've got to 
 know what's in
 the trunk! She takes the key, unlocks the foot locker, and 
 inside there's
 two ears of corn and $25,000. The guy says, What's with the 
 two ears of
 corn? She says, Well, umm, in the fifty years, every time I 
 broke our
 marriage vows, I put an ear of corn in the trunk. The guy 
 figures, Twice
 in fifty years, not so bad... Then he says, And what's the 
 $25,000? She
 says, Well, everytime I got a bushel, I sold it.
 
 A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. The 
 bartender says
 We have no corn, get out of here. So the duck leaves. The 
 next day he
 comes back and asks for corn again, and the bartender says I 
 told you, we
 don't have any corn! Get out! So the duck leaves. The next 
 day he goes in
 again and asks for corn, and the bartender says, For the 
 last time, we
 don't have corn! If you ever come back, I'm going to nail 
 those webbed feet
 of yours to the floor! So the duck leaves. The next day the 
 duck comes and
 asks, Do you have any nails? The bartender says, No, of 
 course not. Why
 would a bar have nails? The duck then says, Good. Then can 
 I have some
 corn?
 
 How is an ear of corn like an army?
 It has lots of kernels.
 
 It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of 
 corn. The
 farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
 Hey Willis!! the farmer yelled. Forget your troubles. Come 
 in with us.
 Then I'll help you get the wagon up.
 That's mighty nice of you,  Willis answered, but I don't 
 think Pa would
 like me to.
 Aw, come on, the farmer insisted.
 Well okay, the boy finally agreed, and added, But Pa won't 
 like it.
 After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. I feel a lot 
 better now,
 but I know Pa is going to be real upset.
 Don't be foolish ! the neighbor said with a smile. By the 
 way, where is
 he?
 Under the wagon.
 
 What do you get when a Unicorn is runover by a Mac truck?
 Creamed corn.
 
 What do you call the best student at Unicorn school?
 The Acorn.
 
 What do Unicorns call their father?
 Pop corn.
 
 What do Unicorns use for money?
 Corn Bread.
 
 What did the baby corn say to the mom corn? Where is my pop corn?!
 
 If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
 
 When is corn like a little quiz?
 When it's popped.
 
 What has ears but cannot hear?
  A field of corn.
 
 What did the farmer say when he picked up the corn?
 Aw, shucks!
 
 
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