http://git-wip-us.apache.org/repos/asf/ignite/blob/67b4da70/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/huckleberry-finn.txt ---------------------------------------------------------------------- diff --git a/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/huckleberry-finn.txt b/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/huckleberry-finn.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3af8c6b --- /dev/null +++ b/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/huckleberry-finn.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11733 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Complete +by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net + + +Title: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Complete + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Release Date: August 20, 2006 [EBook #76] +[This file last updated May 3, 2011] + +Language: English + + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUCKLEBERRY FINN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger. Previous editions produced by Ron Burkey +and Internet Wiretap + + + + + +ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN + +By Mark Twain + + + +NOTICE + +PERSONS attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; +persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons +attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. + +BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR, Per G.G., Chief of Ordnance. + + + + +EXPLANATORY + +IN this book a number of dialects are used, to wit: the Missouri negro +dialect; the extremest form of the backwoods Southwestern dialect; the +ordinary "Pike County" dialect; and four modified varieties of this last. +The shadings have not been done in a haphazard fashion, or by guesswork; +but painstakingly, and with the trustworthy guidance and support of +personal familiarity with these several forms of speech. + +I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers would +suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and not +succeeding. + +THE AUTHOR. + + + + + +ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN + +Scene: The Mississippi Valley Time: Forty to fifty years ago + + + +CHAPTER I. + +YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The +Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made +by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which +he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never +seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or +the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly--Tom's Aunt Polly, she is--and +Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is +mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before. + +Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money +that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich. We got six +thousand dollars apiece--all gold. It was an awful sight of money when +it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at +interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round +--more than a body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took +me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough +living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and +decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand it no +longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, +and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he +was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I would go back +to the widow and be respectable. So I went back. + +The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb, and she +called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no harm by it. +She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn't do nothing but sweat +and sweat, and feel all cramped up. Well, then, the old thing commenced +again. The widow rung a bell for supper, and you had to come to time. +When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to +wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the +victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them,--that +is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds +and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of +swaps around, and the things go better. + +After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the +Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him; but by and by +she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time; so then +I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead +people. + +Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she +wouldn't. She said it was a mean practice and wasn't clean, and I must +try to not do it any more. That is just the way with some people. They +get down on a thing when they don't know nothing about it. Here she was +a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody, +being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a +thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that +was all right, because she done it herself. + +Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on, +had just come to live with her, and took a set at me now with a +spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for about an hour, and then +the widow made her ease up. I couldn't stood it much longer. Then for +an hour it was deadly dull, and I was fidgety. Miss Watson would say, +"Don't put your feet up there, Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up like +that, Huckleberry--set up straight;" and pretty soon she would say, +"Don't gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry--why don't you try to +behave?" Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I +was there. She got mad then, but I didn't mean no harm. All I wanted was +to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn't particular. She +said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for the +whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, +I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my +mind I wouldn't try for it. But I never said so, because it would only +make trouble, and wouldn't do no good. + +Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all about the good +place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all +day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. So I didn't think much +of it. But I never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would +go there, and she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about +that, because I wanted him and me to be together. + +Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By +and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers, and then everybody +was off to bed. I went up to my room with a piece of candle, and put it +on the table. Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to +think of something cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I +most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled +in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing +about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about +somebody that was going to die; and the wind was trying to whisper +something to me, and I couldn't make out what it was, and so it made the +cold shivers run over me. Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of +a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's +on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so can't rest easy in +its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving. I got so +down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a +spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit in +the candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up. I didn't +need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch +me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me. +I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast +every time; and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to +keep witches away. But I hadn't no confidence. You do that when you've +lost a horseshoe that you've found, instead of nailing it up over the +door, but I hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad +luck when you'd killed a spider. + +I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for a smoke; +for the house was all as still as death now, and so the widow wouldn't +know. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go +boom--boom--boom--twelve licks; and all still again--stiller than ever. +Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees +--something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly I could +just barely hear a "me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That was good! Says I, +"me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then I put out the light and +scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then I slipped down to the +ground and crawled in among the trees, and, sure enough, there was Tom +Sawyer waiting for me. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of +the widow's garden, stooping down so as the branches wouldn't scrape our +heads. When we was passing by the kitchen I fell over a root and made a +noise. We scrouched down and laid still. Miss Watson's big nigger, +named Jim, was setting in the kitchen door; we could see him pretty +clear, because there was a light behind him. He got up and stretched his +neck out about a minute, listening. Then he says: + +"Who dah?" + +He listened some more; then he come tiptoeing down and stood right +between us; we could a touched him, nearly. Well, likely it was minutes +and minutes that there warn't a sound, and we all there so close +together. There was a place on my ankle that got to itching, but I +dasn't scratch it; and then my ear begun to itch; and next my back, right +between my shoulders. Seemed like I'd die if I couldn't scratch. Well, +I've noticed that thing plenty times since. If you are with the quality, +or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy--if you +are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all +over in upwards of a thousand places. Pretty soon Jim says: + +"Say, who is you? Whar is you? Dog my cats ef I didn' hear sumf'n. +Well, I know what I's gwyne to do: I's gwyne to set down here and listen +tell I hears it agin." + +So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom. He leaned his back up +against a tree, and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched +one of mine. My nose begun to itch. It itched till the tears come into +my eyes. But I dasn't scratch. Then it begun to itch on the inside. +Next I got to itching underneath. I didn't know how I was going to set +still. This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes; but it +seemed a sight longer than that. I was itching in eleven different +places now. I reckoned I couldn't stand it more'n a minute longer, but I +set my teeth hard and got ready to try. Just then Jim begun to breathe +heavy; next he begun to snore--and then I was pretty soon comfortable +again. + +Tom he made a sign to me--kind of a little noise with his mouth--and we +went creeping away on our hands and knees. When we was ten foot off Tom +whispered to me, and wanted to tie Jim to the tree for fun. But I said +no; he might wake and make a disturbance, and then they'd find out I +warn't in. Then Tom said he hadn't got candles enough, and he would slip +in the kitchen and get some more. I didn't want him to try. I said Jim +might wake up and come. But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in there +and got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table for pay. +Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; but nothing would do +Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on his hands and knees, and play +something on him. I waited, and it seemed a good while, everything was +so still and lonesome. + +As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path, around the garden fence, +and by and by fetched up on the steep top of the hill the other side of +the house. Tom said he slipped Jim's hat off of his head and hung it on +a limb right over him, and Jim stirred a little, but he didn't wake. +Afterwards Jim said the witches be witched him and put him in a trance, +and rode him all over the State, and then set him under the trees again, +and hung his hat on a limb to show who done it. And next time Jim told +it he said they rode him down to New Orleans; and, after that, every time +he told it he spread it more and more, till by and by he said they rode +him all over the world, and tired him most to death, and his back was all +over saddle-boils. Jim was monstrous proud about it, and he got so he +wouldn't hardly notice the other niggers. Niggers would come miles to +hear Jim tell about it, and he was more looked up to than any nigger in +that country. Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and +look him all over, same as if he was a wonder. Niggers is always talking +about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever one was +talking and letting on to know all about such things, Jim would happen in +and say, "Hm! What you know 'bout witches?" and that nigger was corked +up and had to take a back seat. Jim always kept that five-center piece +round his neck with a string, and said it was a charm the devil give to +him with his own hands, and told him he could cure anybody with it and +fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by saying something to it; but +he never told what it was he said to it. Niggers would come from all +around there and give Jim anything they had, just for a sight of that +five-center piece; but they wouldn't touch it, because the devil had had +his hands on it. Jim was most ruined for a servant, because he got stuck +up on account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches. + +Well, when Tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we looked away down +into the village and could see three or four lights twinkling, where +there was sick folks, maybe; and the stars over us was sparkling ever so +fine; and down by the village was the river, a whole mile broad, and +awful still and grand. We went down the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben +Rogers, and two or three more of the boys, hid in the old tanyard. So we +unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half, to the +big scar on the hillside, and went ashore. + +We went to a clump of bushes, and Tom made everybody swear to keep the +secret, and then showed them a hole in the hill, right in the thickest +part of the bushes. Then we lit the candles, and crawled in on our hands +and knees. We went about two hundred yards, and then the cave opened up. +Tom poked about amongst the passages, and pretty soon ducked under a wall +where you wouldn't a noticed that there was a hole. We went along a +narrow place and got into a kind of room, all damp and sweaty and cold, +and there we stopped. Tom says: + +"Now, we'll start this band of robbers and call it Tom Sawyer's Gang. +Everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath, and write his name +in blood." + +Everybody was willing. So Tom got out a sheet of paper that he had wrote +the oath on, and read it. It swore every boy to stick to the band, and +never tell any of the secrets; and if anybody done anything to any boy in +the band, whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and his family +must do it, and he mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed +them and hacked a cross in their breasts, which was the sign of the band. +And nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that mark, and if he +did he must be sued; and if he done it again he must be killed. And if +anybody that belonged to the band told the secrets, he must have his +throat cut, and then have his carcass burnt up and the ashes scattered +all around, and his name blotted off of the list with blood and never +mentioned again by the gang, but have a curse put on it and be forgot +forever. + +Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath, and asked Tom if he got it +out of his own head. He said, some of it, but the rest was out of +pirate-books and robber-books, and every gang that was high-toned had it. + +Some thought it would be good to kill the FAMILIES of boys that told the +secrets. Tom said it was a good idea, so he took a pencil and wrote it +in. Then Ben Rogers says: + +"Here's Huck Finn, he hain't got no family; what you going to do 'bout +him?" + +"Well, hain't he got a father?" says Tom Sawyer. + +"Yes, he's got a father, but you can't never find him these days. He +used to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard, but he hain't been seen +in these parts for a year or more." + +They talked it over, and they was going to rule me out, because they said +every boy must have a family or somebody to kill, or else it wouldn't be +fair and square for the others. Well, nobody could think of anything to +do--everybody was stumped, and set still. I was most ready to cry; but +all at once I thought of a way, and so I offered them Miss Watson--they +could kill her. Everybody said: + +"Oh, she'll do. That's all right. Huck can come in." + +Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to sign with, and +I made my mark on the paper. + +"Now," says Ben Rogers, "what's the line of business of this Gang?" + +"Nothing only robbery and murder," Tom said. + +"But who are we going to rob?--houses, or cattle, or--" + +"Stuff! stealing cattle and such things ain't robbery; it's burglary," +says Tom Sawyer. "We ain't burglars. That ain't no sort of style. We +are highwaymen. We stop stages and carriages on the road, with masks on, +and kill the people and take their watches and money." + +"Must we always kill the people?" + +"Oh, certainly. It's best. Some authorities think different, but mostly +it's considered best to kill them--except some that you bring to the cave +here, and keep them till they're ransomed." + +"Ransomed? What's that?" + +"I don't know. But that's what they do. I've seen it in books; and so +of course that's what we've got to do." + +"But how can we do it if we don't know what it is?" + +"Why, blame it all, we've GOT to do it. Don't I tell you it's in the +books? Do you want to go to doing different from what's in the books, +and get things all muddled up?" + +"Oh, that's all very fine to SAY, Tom Sawyer, but how in the nation are +these fellows going to be ransomed if we don't know how to do it to them? +--that's the thing I want to get at. Now, what do you reckon it is?" + +"Well, I don't know. But per'aps if we keep them till they're ransomed, +it means that we keep them till they're dead." + +"Now, that's something LIKE. That'll answer. Why couldn't you said that +before? We'll keep them till they're ransomed to death; and a bothersome +lot they'll be, too--eating up everything, and always trying to get +loose." + +"How you talk, Ben Rogers. How can they get loose when there's a guard +over them, ready to shoot them down if they move a peg?" + +"A guard! Well, that IS good. So somebody's got to set up all night and +never get any sleep, just so as to watch them. I think that's +foolishness. Why can't a body take a club and ransom them as soon as they +get here?" + +"Because it ain't in the books so--that's why. Now, Ben Rogers, do you +want to do things regular, or don't you?--that's the idea. Don't you +reckon that the people that made the books knows what's the correct thing +to do? Do you reckon YOU can learn 'em anything? Not by a good deal. +No, sir, we'll just go on and ransom them in the regular way." + +"All right. I don't mind; but I say it's a fool way, anyhow. Say, do we +kill the women, too?" + +"Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on. Kill +the women? No; nobody ever saw anything in the books like that. You +fetch them to the cave, and you're always as polite as pie to them; and +by and by they fall in love with you, and never want to go home any +more." + +"Well, if that's the way I'm agreed, but I don't take no stock in it. +Mighty soon we'll have the cave so cluttered up with women, and fellows +waiting to be ransomed, that there won't be no place for the robbers. +But go ahead, I ain't got nothing to say." + +Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now, and when they waked him up he was +scared, and cried, and said he wanted to go home to his ma, and didn't +want to be a robber any more. + +So they all made fun of him, and called him cry-baby, and that made him +mad, and he said he would go straight and tell all the secrets. But Tom +give him five cents to keep quiet, and said we would all go home and meet +next week, and rob somebody and kill some people. + +Ben Rogers said he couldn't get out much, only Sundays, and so he wanted +to begin next Sunday; but all the boys said it would be wicked to do it +on Sunday, and that settled the thing. They agreed to get together and +fix a day as soon as they could, and then we elected Tom Sawyer first +captain and Jo Harper second captain of the Gang, and so started home. + +I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day was +breaking. My new clothes was all greased up and clayey, and I was +dog-tired. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +WELL, I got a good going-over in the morning from old Miss Watson on +account of my clothes; but the widow she didn't scold, but only cleaned +off the grease and clay, and looked so sorry that I thought I would +behave awhile if I could. Then Miss Watson she took me in the closet and +prayed, but nothing come of it. She told me to pray every day, and +whatever I asked for I would get it. But it warn't so. I tried it. +Once I got a fish-line, but no hooks. It warn't any good to me without +hooks. I tried for the hooks three or four times, but somehow I couldn't +make it work. By and by, one day, I asked Miss Watson to try for me, but +she said I was a fool. She never told me why, and I couldn't make it out +no way. + +I set down one time back in the woods, and had a long think about it. I +says to myself, if a body can get anything they pray for, why don't +Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork? Why can't the widow get +back her silver snuffbox that was stole? Why can't Miss Watson fat up? +No, says I to my self, there ain't nothing in it. I went and told the +widow about it, and she said the thing a body could get by praying for it +was "spiritual gifts." This was too many for me, but she told me what +she meant--I must help other people, and do everything I could for other +people, and look out for them all the time, and never think about myself. +This was including Miss Watson, as I took it. I went out in the woods +and turned it over in my mind a long time, but I couldn't see no +advantage about it--except for the other people; so at last I reckoned I +wouldn't worry about it any more, but just let it go. Sometimes the +widow would take me one side and talk about Providence in a way to make a +body's mouth water; but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold and +knock it all down again. I judged I could see that there was two +Providences, and a poor chap would stand considerable show with the +widow's Providence, but if Miss Watson's got him there warn't no help for +him any more. I thought it all out, and reckoned I would belong to the +widow's if he wanted me, though I couldn't make out how he was a-going to +be any better off then than what he was before, seeing I was so ignorant, +and so kind of low-down and ornery. + +Pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year, and that was comfortable +for me; I didn't want to see him no more. He used to always whale me +when he was sober and could get his hands on me; though I used to take to +the woods most of the time when he was around. Well, about this time he +was found in the river drownded, about twelve mile above town, so people +said. They judged it was him, anyway; said this drownded man was just +his size, and was ragged, and had uncommon long hair, which was all like +pap; but they couldn't make nothing out of the face, because it had been +in the water so long it warn't much like a face at all. They said he was +floating on his back in the water. They took him and buried him on the +bank. But I warn't comfortable long, because I happened to think of +something. I knowed mighty well that a drownded man don't float on his +back, but on his face. So I knowed, then, that this warn't pap, but a +woman dressed up in a man's clothes. So I was uncomfortable again. I +judged the old man would turn up again by and by, though I wished he +wouldn't. + +We played robber now and then about a month, and then I resigned. All +the boys did. We hadn't robbed nobody, hadn't killed any people, but +only just pretended. We used to hop out of the woods and go charging +down on hog-drivers and women in carts taking garden stuff to market, but +we never hived any of them. Tom Sawyer called the hogs "ingots," and he +called the turnips and stuff "julery," and we would go to the cave and +powwow over what we had done, and how many people we had killed and +marked. But I couldn't see no profit in it. One time Tom sent a boy to +run about town with a blazing stick, which he called a slogan (which was +the sign for the Gang to get together), and then he said he had got +secret news by his spies that next day a whole parcel of Spanish +merchants and rich A-rabs was going to camp in Cave Hollow with two +hundred elephants, and six hundred camels, and over a thousand "sumter" +mules, all loaded down with di'monds, and they didn't have only a guard +of four hundred soldiers, and so we would lay in ambuscade, as he called +it, and kill the lot and scoop the things. He said we must slick up our +swords and guns, and get ready. He never could go after even a +turnip-cart but he must have the swords and guns all scoured up for it, +though they was only lath and broomsticks, and you might scour at them +till you rotted, and then they warn't worth a mouthful of ashes more than +what they was before. I didn't believe we could lick such a crowd of +Spaniards and A-rabs, but I wanted to see the camels and elephants, so I +was on hand next day, Saturday, in the ambuscade; and when we got the +word we rushed out of the woods and down the hill. But there warn't no +Spaniards and A-rabs, and there warn't no camels nor no elephants. It +warn't anything but a Sunday-school picnic, and only a primer-class at +that. We busted it up, and chased the children up the hollow; but we +never got anything but some doughnuts and jam, though Ben Rogers got a +rag doll, and Jo Harper got a hymn-book and a tract; and then the teacher +charged in, and made us drop everything and cut. I didn't see no +di'monds, and I told Tom Sawyer so. He said there was loads of them +there, anyway; and he said there was A-rabs there, too, and elephants and +things. I said, why couldn't we see them, then? He said if I warn't so +ignorant, but had read a book called Don Quixote, I would know without +asking. He said it was all done by enchantment. He said there was +hundreds of soldiers there, and elephants and treasure, and so on, but we +had enemies which he called magicians; and they had turned the whole +thing into an infant Sunday-school, just out of spite. I said, all +right; then the thing for us to do was to go for the magicians. Tom +Sawyer said I was a numskull. + +"Why," said he, "a magician could call up a lot of genies, and they would +hash you up like nothing before you could say Jack Robinson. They are as +tall as a tree and as big around as a church." + +"Well," I says, "s'pose we got some genies to help US--can't we lick the +other crowd then?" + +"How you going to get them?" + +"I don't know. How do THEY get them?" + +"Why, they rub an old tin lamp or an iron ring, and then the genies come +tearing in, with the thunder and lightning a-ripping around and the smoke +a-rolling, and everything they're told to do they up and do it. They +don't think nothing of pulling a shot-tower up by the roots, and belting +a Sunday-school superintendent over the head with it--or any other man." + +"Who makes them tear around so?" + +"Why, whoever rubs the lamp or the ring. They belong to whoever rubs the +lamp or the ring, and they've got to do whatever he says. If he tells +them to build a palace forty miles long out of di'monds, and fill it full +of chewing-gum, or whatever you want, and fetch an emperor's daughter +from China for you to marry, they've got to do it--and they've got to do +it before sun-up next morning, too. And more: they've got to waltz that +palace around over the country wherever you want it, you understand." + +"Well," says I, "I think they are a pack of flat-heads for not keeping +the palace themselves 'stead of fooling them away like that. And what's +more--if I was one of them I would see a man in Jericho before I would +drop my business and come to him for the rubbing of an old tin lamp." + +"How you talk, Huck Finn. Why, you'd HAVE to come when he rubbed it, +whether you wanted to or not." + +"What! and I as high as a tree and as big as a church? All right, then; +I WOULD come; but I lay I'd make that man climb the highest tree there +was in the country." + +"Shucks, it ain't no use to talk to you, Huck Finn. You don't seem to +know anything, somehow--perfect saphead." + +I thought all this over for two or three days, and then I reckoned I +would see if there was anything in it. I got an old tin lamp and an iron +ring, and went out in the woods and rubbed and rubbed till I sweat like +an Injun, calculating to build a palace and sell it; but it warn't no +use, none of the genies come. So then I judged that all that stuff was +only just one of Tom Sawyer's lies. I reckoned he believed in the A-rabs +and the elephants, but as for me I think different. It had all the marks +of a Sunday-school. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +WELL, three or four months run along, and it was well into the winter +now. I had been to school most all the time and could spell and read and +write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six +times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any +further than that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in +mathematics, anyway. + +At first I hated the school, but by and by I got so I could stand it. +Whenever I got uncommon tired I played hookey, and the hiding I got next +day done me good and cheered me up. So the longer I went to school the +easier it got to be. I was getting sort of used to the widow's ways, +too, and they warn't so raspy on me. Living in a house and sleeping in a +bed pulled on me pretty tight mostly, but before the cold weather I used +to slide out and sleep in the woods sometimes, and so that was a rest to +me. I liked the old ways best, but I was getting so I liked the new +ones, too, a little bit. The widow said I was coming along slow but sure, +and doing very satisfactory. She said she warn't ashamed of me. + +One morning I happened to turn over the salt-cellar at breakfast. I +reached for some of it as quick as I could to throw over my left shoulder +and keep off the bad luck, but Miss Watson was in ahead of me, and +crossed me off. She says, "Take your hands away, Huckleberry; what a mess +you are always making!" The widow put in a good word for me, but that +warn't going to keep off the bad luck, I knowed that well enough. I +started out, after breakfast, feeling worried and shaky, and wondering +where it was going to fall on me, and what it was going to be. There is +ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck, but this wasn't one of them +kind; so I never tried to do anything, but just poked along low-spirited +and on the watch-out. + +I went down to the front garden and clumb over the stile where you go +through the high board fence. There was an inch of new snow on the +ground, and I seen somebody's tracks. They had come up from the quarry +and stood around the stile a while, and then went on around the garden +fence. It was funny they hadn't come in, after standing around so. I +couldn't make it out. It was very curious, somehow. I was going to +follow around, but I stooped down to look at the tracks first. I didn't +notice anything at first, but next I did. There was a cross in the left +boot-heel made with big nails, to keep off the devil. + +I was up in a second and shinning down the hill. I looked over my +shoulder every now and then, but I didn't see nobody. I was at Judge +Thatcher's as quick as I could get there. He said: + +"Why, my boy, you are all out of breath. Did you come for your +interest?" + +"No, sir," I says; "is there some for me?" + +"Oh, yes, a half-yearly is in last night--over a hundred and fifty +dollars. Quite a fortune for you. You had better let me invest it along +with your six thousand, because if you take it you'll spend it." + +"No, sir," I says, "I don't want to spend it. I don't want it at all +--nor the six thousand, nuther. I want you to take it; I want to give it +to you--the six thousand and all." + +He looked surprised. He couldn't seem to make it out. He says: + +"Why, what can you mean, my boy?" + +I says, "Don't you ask me no questions about it, please. You'll take it +--won't you?" + +He says: + +"Well, I'm puzzled. Is something the matter?" + +"Please take it," says I, "and don't ask me nothing--then I won't have to +tell no lies." + +He studied a while, and then he says: + +"Oho-o! I think I see. You want to SELL all your property to me--not +give it. That's the correct idea." + +Then he wrote something on a paper and read it over, and says: + +"There; you see it says 'for a consideration.' That means I have bought +it of you and paid you for it. Here's a dollar for you. Now you sign +it." + +So I signed it, and left. + +Miss Watson's nigger, Jim, had a hair-ball as big as your fist, which had +been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox, and he used to do magic +with it. He said there was a spirit inside of it, and it knowed +everything. So I went to him that night and told him pap was here again, +for I found his tracks in the snow. What I wanted to know was, what he +was going to do, and was he going to stay? Jim got out his hair-ball and +said something over it, and then he held it up and dropped it on the +floor. It fell pretty solid, and only rolled about an inch. Jim tried +it again, and then another time, and it acted just the same. Jim got +down on his knees, and put his ear against it and listened. But it +warn't no use; he said it wouldn't talk. He said sometimes it wouldn't +talk without money. I told him I had an old slick counterfeit quarter +that warn't no good because the brass showed through the silver a little, +and it wouldn't pass nohow, even if the brass didn't show, because it was +so slick it felt greasy, and so that would tell on it every time. (I +reckoned I wouldn't say nothing about the dollar I got from the judge.) I +said it was pretty bad money, but maybe the hair-ball would take it, +because maybe it wouldn't know the difference. Jim smelt it and bit it +and rubbed it, and said he would manage so the hair-ball would think it +was good. He said he would split open a raw Irish potato and stick the +quarter in between and keep it there all night, and next morning you +couldn't see no brass, and it wouldn't feel greasy no more, and so +anybody in town would take it in a minute, let alone a hair-ball. Well, +I knowed a potato would do that before, but I had forgot it. + +Jim put the quarter under the hair-ball, and got down and listened again. +This time he said the hair-ball was all right. He said it would tell my +whole fortune if I wanted it to. I says, go on. So the hair-ball talked +to Jim, and Jim told it to me. He says: + +"Yo' ole father doan' know yit what he's a-gwyne to do. Sometimes he +spec he'll go 'way, en den agin he spec he'll stay. De bes' way is to +res' easy en let de ole man take his own way. Dey's two angels hoverin' +roun' 'bout him. One uv 'em is white en shiny, en t'other one is black. +De white one gits him to go right a little while, den de black one sail +in en bust it all up. A body can't tell yit which one gwyne to fetch him +at de las'. But you is all right. You gwyne to have considable trouble +in yo' life, en considable joy. Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en +sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well +agin. Dey's two gals flyin' 'bout you in yo' life. One uv 'em's light +en t'other one is dark. One is rich en t'other is po'. You's gwyne to +marry de po' one fust en de rich one by en by. You wants to keep 'way +fum de water as much as you kin, en don't run no resk, 'kase it's down in +de bills dat you's gwyne to git hung." + +When I lit my candle and went up to my room that night there sat pap--his +own self! + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +I HAD shut the door to. Then I turned around and there he was. I used +to be scared of him all the time, he tanned me so much. I reckoned I was +scared now, too; but in a minute I see I was mistaken--that is, after the +first jolt, as you may say, when my breath sort of hitched, he being so +unexpected; but right away after I see I warn't scared of him worth +bothring about. + +He was most fifty, and he looked it. His hair was long and tangled and +greasy, and hung down, and you could see his eyes shining through like he +was behind vines. It was all black, no gray; so was his long, mixed-up +whiskers. There warn't no color in his face, where his face showed; it +was white; not like another man's white, but a white to make a body sick, +a white to make a body's flesh crawl--a tree-toad white, a fish-belly +white. As for his clothes--just rags, that was all. He had one ankle +resting on t'other knee; the boot on that foot was busted, and two of his +toes stuck through, and he worked them now and then. His hat was laying +on the floor--an old black slouch with the top caved in, like a lid. + +I stood a-looking at him; he set there a-looking at me, with his chair +tilted back a little. I set the candle down. I noticed the window was +up; so he had clumb in by the shed. He kept a-looking me all over. By +and by he says: + +"Starchy clothes--very. You think you're a good deal of a big-bug, DON'T +you?" + +"Maybe I am, maybe I ain't," I says. + +"Don't you give me none o' your lip," says he. "You've put on +considerable many frills since I been away. I'll take you down a peg +before I get done with you. You're educated, too, they say--can read and +write. You think you're better'n your father, now, don't you, because he +can't? I'LL take it out of you. Who told you you might meddle with such +hifalut'n foolishness, hey?--who told you you could?" + +"The widow. She told me." + +"The widow, hey?--and who told the widow she could put in her shovel +about a thing that ain't none of her business?" + +"Nobody never told her." + +"Well, I'll learn her how to meddle. And looky here--you drop that +school, you hear? I'll learn people to bring up a boy to put on airs +over his own father and let on to be better'n what HE is. You lemme +catch you fooling around that school again, you hear? Your mother +couldn't read, and she couldn't write, nuther, before she died. None of +the family couldn't before THEY died. I can't; and here you're +a-swelling yourself up like this. I ain't the man to stand it--you hear? +Say, lemme hear you read." + +I took up a book and begun something about General Washington and the +wars. When I'd read about a half a minute, he fetched the book a whack +with his hand and knocked it across the house. He says: + +"It's so. You can do it. I had my doubts when you told me. Now looky +here; you stop that putting on frills. I won't have it. I'll lay for +you, my smarty; and if I catch you about that school I'll tan you good. +First you know you'll get religion, too. I never see such a son." + +He took up a little blue and yaller picture of some cows and a boy, and +says: + +"What's this?" + +"It's something they give me for learning my lessons good." + +He tore it up, and says: + +"I'll give you something better--I'll give you a cowhide." + +He set there a-mumbling and a-growling a minute, and then he says: + +"AIN'T you a sweet-scented dandy, though? A bed; and bedclothes; and a +look'n'-glass; and a piece of carpet on the floor--and your own father +got to sleep with the hogs in the tanyard. I never see such a son. I +bet I'll take some o' these frills out o' you before I'm done with you. +Why, there ain't no end to your airs--they say you're rich. Hey?--how's +that?" + +"They lie--that's how." + +"Looky here--mind how you talk to me; I'm a-standing about all I can +stand now--so don't gimme no sass. I've been in town two days, and I +hain't heard nothing but about you bein' rich. I heard about it away +down the river, too. That's why I come. You git me that money +to-morrow--I want it." + +"I hain't got no money." + +"It's a lie. Judge Thatcher's got it. You git it. I want it." + +"I hain't got no money, I tell you. You ask Judge Thatcher; he'll tell +you the same." + +"All right. I'll ask him; and I'll make him pungle, too, or I'll know +the reason why. Say, how much you got in your pocket? I want it." + +"I hain't got only a dollar, and I want that to--" + +"It don't make no difference what you want it for--you just shell it +out." + +He took it and bit it to see if it was good, and then he said he was +going down town to get some whisky; said he hadn't had a drink all day. +When he had got out on the shed he put his head in again, and cussed me +for putting on frills and trying to be better than him; and when I +reckoned he was gone he come back and put his head in again, and told me +to mind about that school, because he was going to lay for me and lick me +if I didn't drop that. + +Next day he was drunk, and he went to Judge Thatcher's and bullyragged +him, and tried to make him give up the money; but he couldn't, and then +he swore he'd make the law force him. + +The judge and the widow went to law to get the court to take me away from +him and let one of them be my guardian; but it was a new judge that had +just come, and he didn't know the old man; so he said courts mustn't +interfere and separate families if they could help it; said he'd druther +not take a child away from its father. So Judge Thatcher and the widow +had to quit on the business. + +That pleased the old man till he couldn't rest. He said he'd cowhide me +till I was black and blue if I didn't raise some money for him. I +borrowed three dollars from Judge Thatcher, and pap took it and got +drunk, and went a-blowing around and cussing and whooping and carrying +on; and he kept it up all over town, with a tin pan, till most midnight; +then they jailed him, and next day they had him before court, and jailed +him again for a week. But he said HE was satisfied; said he was boss of +his son, and he'd make it warm for HIM. + +When he got out the new judge said he was a-going to make a man of him. +So he took him to his own house, and dressed him up clean and nice, and +had him to breakfast and dinner and supper with the family, and was just +old pie to him, so to speak. And after supper he talked to him about +temperance and such things till the old man cried, and said he'd been a +fool, and fooled away his life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new +leaf and be a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of, and he hoped the judge +would help him and not look down on him. The judge said he could hug him +for them words; so he cried, and his wife she cried again; pap said he'd +been a man that had always been misunderstood before, and the judge said +he believed it. The old man said that what a man wanted that was down +was sympathy, and the judge said it was so; so they cried again. And +when it was bedtime the old man rose up and held out his hand, and says: + +"Look at it, gentlemen and ladies all; take a-hold of it; shake it. +There's a hand that was the hand of a hog; but it ain't so no more; it's +the hand of a man that's started in on a new life, and'll die before +he'll go back. You mark them words--don't forget I said them. It's a +clean hand now; shake it--don't be afeard." + +So they shook it, one after the other, all around, and cried. The +judge's wife she kissed it. Then the old man he signed a pledge--made +his mark. The judge said it was the holiest time on record, or something +like that. Then they tucked the old man into a beautiful room, which was +the spare room, and in the night some time he got powerful thirsty and +clumb out on to the porch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his +new coat for a jug of forty-rod, and clumb back again and had a good old +time; and towards daylight he crawled out again, drunk as a fiddler, and +rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two places, and was most +froze to death when somebody found him after sun-up. And when they come +to look at that spare room they had to take soundings before they could +navigate it. + +The judge he felt kind of sore. He said he reckoned a body could reform +the old man with a shotgun, maybe, but he didn't know no other way. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +WELL, pretty soon the old man was up and around again, and then he went +for Judge Thatcher in the courts to make him give up that money, and he +went for me, too, for not stopping school. He catched me a couple of +times and thrashed me, but I went to school just the same, and dodged him +or outrun him most of the time. I didn't want to go to school much +before, but I reckoned I'd go now to spite pap. That law trial was a +slow business--appeared like they warn't ever going to get started on +it; so every now and then I'd borrow two or three dollars off of the +judge for him, to keep from getting a cowhiding. Every time he got money +he got drunk; and every time he got drunk he raised Cain around town; and +every time he raised Cain he got jailed. He was just suited--this kind +of thing was right in his line. + +He got to hanging around the widow's too much and so she told him at last +that if he didn't quit using around there she would make trouble for him. +Well, WASN'T he mad? He said he would show who was Huck Finn's boss. So +he watched out for me one day in the spring, and catched me, and took me +up the river about three mile in a skiff, and crossed over to the +Illinois shore where it was woody and there warn't no houses but an old +log hut in a place where the timber was so thick you couldn't find it if +you didn't know where it was. + +He kept me with him all the time, and I never got a chance to run off. +We lived in that old cabin, and he always locked the door and put the key +under his head nights. He had a gun which he had stole, I reckon, and we +fished and hunted, and that was what we lived on. Every little while he +locked me in and went down to the store, three miles, to the ferry, and +traded fish and game for whisky, and fetched it home and got drunk and +had a good time, and licked me. The widow she found out where I was by +and by, and she sent a man over to try to get hold of me; but pap drove +him off with the gun, and it warn't long after that till I was used to +being where I was, and liked it--all but the cowhide part. + +It was kind of lazy and jolly, laying off comfortable all day, smoking +and fishing, and no books nor study. Two months or more run along, and +my clothes got to be all rags and dirt, and I didn't see how I'd ever got +to like it so well at the widow's, where you had to wash, and eat on a +plate, and comb up, and go to bed and get up regular, and be forever +bothering over a book, and have old Miss Watson pecking at you all the +time. I didn't want to go back no more. I had stopped cussing, because +the widow didn't like it; but now I took to it again because pap hadn't +no objections. It was pretty good times up in the woods there, take it +all around. + +But by and by pap got too handy with his hick'ry, and I couldn't stand +it. I was all over welts. He got to going away so much, too, and locking +me in. Once he locked me in and was gone three days. It was dreadful +lonesome. I judged he had got drownded, and I wasn't ever going to get +out any more. I was scared. I made up my mind I would fix up some way +to leave there. I had tried to get out of that cabin many a time, but I +couldn't find no way. There warn't a window to it big enough for a dog +to get through. I couldn't get up the chimbly; it was too narrow. The +door was thick, solid oak slabs. Pap was pretty careful not to leave a +knife or anything in the cabin when he was away; I reckon I had hunted +the place over as much as a hundred times; well, I was most all the time +at it, because it was about the only way to put in the time. But this +time I found something at last; I found an old rusty wood-saw without any +handle; it was laid in between a rafter and the clapboards of the roof. +I greased it up and went to work. There was an old horse-blanket nailed +against the logs at the far end of the cabin behind the table, to keep +the wind from blowing through the chinks and putting the candle out. I +got under the table and raised the blanket, and went to work to saw a +section of the big bottom log out--big enough to let me through. Well, +it was a good long job, but I was getting towards the end of it when I +heard pap's gun in the woods. I got rid of the signs of my work, and +dropped the blanket and hid my saw, and pretty soon pap come in. + +Pap warn't in a good humor--so he was his natural self. He said he was +down town, and everything was going wrong. His lawyer said he reckoned +he would win his lawsuit and get the money if they ever got started on +the trial; but then there was ways to put it off a long time, and Judge +Thatcher knowed how to do it. And he said people allowed there'd be +another trial to get me away from him and give me to the widow for my +guardian, and they guessed it would win this time. This shook me up +considerable, because I didn't want to go back to the widow's any more +and be so cramped up and sivilized, as they called it. Then the old man +got to cussing, and cussed everything and everybody he could think of, +and then cussed them all over again to make sure he hadn't skipped any, +and after that he polished off with a kind of a general cuss all round, +including a considerable parcel of people which he didn't know the names +of, and so called them what's-his-name when he got to them, and went +right along with his cussing. + +He said he would like to see the widow get me. He said he would watch +out, and if they tried to come any such game on him he knowed of a place +six or seven mile off to stow me in, where they might hunt till they +dropped and they couldn't find me. That made me pretty uneasy again, but +only for a minute; I reckoned I wouldn't stay on hand till he got that +chance. + +The old man made me go to the skiff and fetch the things he had got. +There was a fifty-pound sack of corn meal, and a side of bacon, +ammunition, and a four-gallon jug of whisky, and an old book and two +newspapers for wadding, besides some tow. I toted up a load, and went +back and set down on the bow of the skiff to rest. I thought it all +over, and I reckoned I would walk off with the gun and some lines, and +take to the woods when I run away. I guessed I wouldn't stay in one +place, but just tramp right across the country, mostly night times, and +hunt and fish to keep alive, and so get so far away that the old man nor +the widow couldn't ever find me any more. I judged I would saw out and +leave that night if pap got drunk enough, and I reckoned he would. I got +so full of it I didn't notice how long I was staying till the old man +hollered and asked me whether I was asleep or drownded. + +I got the things all up to the cabin, and then it was about dark. While +I was cooking supper the old man took a swig or two and got sort of +warmed up, and went to ripping again. He had been drunk over in town, +and laid in the gutter all night, and he was a sight to look at. A body +would a thought he was Adam--he was just all mud. Whenever his liquor +begun to work he most always went for the govment, this time he says: + +"Call this a govment! why, just look at it and see what it's like. +Here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son away from him--a +man's own son, which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and +all the expense of raising. Yes, just as that man has got that son +raised at last, and ready to go to work and begin to do suthin' for HIM +and give him a rest, the law up and goes for him. And they call THAT +govment! That ain't all, nuther. The law backs that old Judge Thatcher +up and helps him to keep me out o' my property. Here's what the law +does: The law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and up'ards, and +jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this, and lets him go round in +clothes that ain't fitten for a hog. They call that govment! A man can't +get his rights in a govment like this. Sometimes I've a mighty notion to +just leave the country for good and all. Yes, and I TOLD 'em so; I told +old Thatcher so to his face. Lots of 'em heard me, and can tell what I +said. Says I, for two cents I'd leave the blamed country and never come +a-near it agin. Them's the very words. I says look at my hat--if you +call it a hat--but the lid raises up and the rest of it goes down till +it's below my chin, and then it ain't rightly a hat at all, but more like +my head was shoved up through a jint o' stove-pipe. Look at it, says I +--such a hat for me to wear--one of the wealthiest men in this town if I +could git my rights. + +"Oh, yes, this is a wonderful govment, wonderful. Why, looky here. +There was a free nigger there from Ohio--a mulatter, most as white as a +white man. He had the whitest shirt on you ever see, too, and the +shiniest hat; and there ain't a man in that town that's got as fine +clothes as what he had; and he had a gold watch and chain, and a +silver-headed cane--the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the State. And +what do you think? They said he was a p'fessor in a college, and could +talk all kinds of languages, and knowed everything. And that ain't the +wust. They said he could VOTE when he was at home. Well, that let me +out. Thinks I, what is the country a-coming to? It was 'lection day, and +I was just about to go and vote myself if I warn't too drunk to get +there; but when they told me there was a State in this country where +they'd let that nigger vote, I drawed out. I says I'll never vote agin. +Them's the very words I said; they all heard me; and the country may rot +for all me--I'll never vote agin as long as I live. And to see the cool +way of that nigger--why, he wouldn't a give me the road if I hadn't +shoved him out o' the way. I says to the people, why ain't this nigger +put up at auction and sold?--that's what I want to know. And what do you +reckon they said? Why, they said he couldn't be sold till he'd been in +the State six months, and he hadn't been there that long yet. There, +now--that's a specimen. They call that a govment that can't sell a free +nigger till he's been in the State six months. Here's a govment that +calls itself a govment, and lets on to be a govment, and thinks it is a +govment, and yet's got to set stock-still for six whole months before it +can take a hold of a prowling, thieving, infernal, white-shirted free +nigger, and--" + +Pap was agoing on so he never noticed where his old limber legs was +taking him to, so he went head over heels over the tub of salt pork and +barked both shins, and the rest of his speech was all the hottest kind of +language--mostly hove at the nigger and the govment, though he give the +tub some, too, all along, here and there. He hopped around the cabin +considerable, first on one leg and then on the other, holding first one +shin and then the other one, and at last he let out with his left foot +all of a sudden and fetched the tub a rattling kick. But it warn't good +judgment, because that was the boot that had a couple of his toes leaking +out of the front end of it; so now he raised a howl that fairly made a +body's hair raise, and down he went in the dirt, and rolled there, and +held his toes; and the cussing he done then laid over anything he had +ever done previous. He said so his own self afterwards. He had heard +old Sowberry Hagan in his best days, and he said it laid over him, too; +but I reckon that was sort of piling it on, maybe. + +After supper pap took the jug, and said he had enough whisky there for +two drunks and one delirium tremens. That was always his word. I judged +he would be blind drunk in about an hour, and then I would steal the key, +or saw myself out, one or t'other. He drank and drank, and tumbled down +on his blankets by and by; but luck didn't run my way. He didn't go +sound asleep, but was uneasy. He groaned and moaned and thrashed around +this way and that for a long time. At last I got so sleepy I couldn't +keep my eyes open all I could do, and so before I knowed what I was about +I was sound asleep, and the candle burning. + +I don't know how long I was asleep, but all of a sudden there was an +awful scream and I was up. There was pap looking wild, and skipping +around every which way and yelling about snakes. He said they was +crawling up his legs; and then he would give a jump and scream, and say +one had bit him on the cheek--but I couldn't see no snakes. He started +and run round and round the cabin, hollering "Take him off! take him off! +he's biting me on the neck!" I never see a man look so wild in the eyes. +Pretty soon he was all fagged out, and fell down panting; then he rolled +over and over wonderful fast, kicking things every which way, and +striking and grabbing at the air with his hands, and screaming and saying +there was devils a-hold of him. He wore out by and by, and laid still a +while, moaning. Then he laid stiller, and didn't make a sound. I could +hear the owls and the wolves away off in the woods, and it seemed +terrible still. He was laying over by the corner. By and by he raised up +part way and listened, with his head to one side. He says, very low: + +"Tramp--tramp--tramp; that's the dead; tramp--tramp--tramp; they're +coming after me; but I won't go. Oh, they're here! don't touch me +--don't! hands off--they're cold; let go. Oh, let a poor devil alone!" + +Then he went down on all fours and crawled off, begging them to let him +alone, and he rolled himself up in his blanket and wallowed in under the +old pine table, still a-begging; and then he went to crying. I could +hear him through the blanket. + +By and by he rolled out and jumped up on his feet looking wild, and he +see me and went for me. He chased me round and round the place with a +clasp-knife, calling me the Angel of Death, and saying he would kill me, +and then I couldn't come for him no more. I begged, and told him I was +only Huck; but he laughed SUCH a screechy laugh, and roared and cussed, +and kept on chasing me up. Once when I turned short and dodged under his +arm he made a grab and got me by the jacket between my shoulders, and I +thought I was gone; but I slid out of the jacket quick as lightning, and +saved myself. Pretty soon he was all tired out, and dropped down with his +back against the door, and said he would rest a minute and then kill me. +He put his knife under him, and said he would sleep and get strong, and +then he would see who was who. + +So he dozed off pretty soon. By and by I got the old split-bottom chair +and clumb up as easy as I could, not to make any noise, and got down the +gun. I slipped the ramrod down it to make sure it was loaded, then I +laid it across the turnip barrel, pointing towards pap, and set down +behind it to wait for him to stir. And how slow and still the time did +drag along. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +"GIT up! What you 'bout?" + +I opened my eyes and looked around, trying to make out where I was. It +was after sun-up, and I had been sound asleep. Pap was standing over me +looking sour and sick, too. He says: + +"What you doin' with this gun?" + +I judged he didn't know nothing about what he had been doing, so I says: + +"Somebody tried to get in, so I was laying for him." + +"Why didn't you roust me out?" + +"Well, I tried to, but I couldn't; I couldn't budge you." + +"Well, all right. Don't stand there palavering all day, but out with you +and see if there's a fish on the lines for breakfast. I'll be along in a +minute." + +He unlocked the door, and I cleared out up the river-bank. I noticed +some pieces of limbs and such things floating down, and a sprinkling of +bark; so I knowed the river had begun to rise. I reckoned I would have +great times now if I was over at the town. The June rise used to be +always luck for me; because as soon as that rise begins here comes +cordwood floating down, and pieces of log rafts--sometimes a dozen logs +together; so all you have to do is to catch them and sell them to the +wood-yards and the sawmill. + +I went along up the bank with one eye out for pap and t'other one out for +what the rise might fetch along. Well, all at once here comes a canoe; +just a beauty, too, about thirteen or fourteen foot long, riding high +like a duck. I shot head-first off of the bank like a frog, clothes and +all on, and struck out for the canoe. I just expected there'd be +somebody laying down in it, because people often done that to fool folks, +and when a chap had pulled a skiff out most to it they'd raise up and +laugh at him. But it warn't so this time. It was a drift-canoe sure +enough, and I clumb in and paddled her ashore. Thinks I, the old man +will be glad when he sees this--she's worth ten dollars. But when I +got to shore pap wasn't in sight yet, and as I was running her into a +little creek like a gully, all hung over with vines and willows, I struck +another idea: I judged I'd hide her good, and then, 'stead of taking to +the woods when I run off, I'd go down the river about fifty mile and camp +in one place for good, and not have such a rough time tramping on foot. + +It was pretty close to the shanty, and I thought I heard the old man +coming all the time; but I got her hid; and then I out and looked around +a bunch of willows, and there was the old man down the path a piece just +drawing a bead on a bird with his gun. So he hadn't seen anything. + +When he got along I was hard at it taking up a "trot" line. He abused me +a little for being so slow; but I told him I fell in the river, and that +was what made me so long. I knowed he would see I was wet, and then he +would be asking questions. We got five catfish off the lines and went +home. + +While we laid off after breakfast to sleep up, both of us being about +wore out, I got to thinking that if I could fix up some way to keep pap +and the widow from trying to follow me, it would be a certainer thing +than trusting to luck to get far enough off before they missed me; you +see, all kinds of things might happen. Well, I didn't see no way for a +while, but by and by pap raised up a minute to drink another barrel of +water, and he says: + +"Another time a man comes a-prowling round here you roust me out, you +hear? That man warn't here for no good. I'd a shot him. Next time you +roust me out, you hear?" + +Then he dropped down and went to sleep again; but what he had been saying +give me the very idea I wanted. I says to myself, I can fix it now so +nobody won't think of following me. + +About twelve o'clock we turned out and went along up the bank. The river +was coming up pretty fast, and lots of driftwood going by on the rise. +By and by along comes part of a log raft--nine logs fast together. We +went out with the skiff and towed it ashore. Then we had dinner. +Anybody but pap would a waited and seen the day through, so as to catch +more stuff; but that warn't pap's style. Nine logs was enough for one +time; he must shove right over to town and sell. So he locked me in and +took the skiff, and started off towing the raft about half-past three. I +judged he wouldn't come back that night. I waited till I reckoned he had +got a good start; then I out with my saw, and went to work on that log +again. Before he was t'other side of the river I was out of the hole; +him and his raft was just a speck on the water away off yonder. + +I took the sack of corn meal and took it to where the canoe was hid, and +shoved the vines and branches apart and put it in; then I done the same +with the side of bacon; then the whisky-jug. I took all the coffee and +sugar there was, and all the ammunition; I took the wadding; I took the +bucket and gourd; I took a dipper and a tin cup, and my old saw and two +blankets, and the skillet and the coffee-pot. I took fish-lines and +matches and other things--everything that was worth a cent. I cleaned +out the place. I wanted an axe, but there wasn't any, only the one out +at the woodpile, and I knowed why I was going to leave that. I fetched +out the gun, and now I was done. + +I had wore the ground a good deal crawling out of the hole and dragging +out so many things. So I fixed that as good as I could from the outside +by scattering dust on the place, which covered up the smoothness and the +sawdust. Then I fixed the piece of log back into its place, and put two +rocks under it and one against it to hold it there, for it was bent up at +that place and didn't quite touch ground. If you stood four or five foot +away and didn't know it was sawed, you wouldn't never notice it; and +besides, this was the back of the cabin, and it warn't likely anybody +would go fooling around there. + +It was all grass clear to the canoe, so I hadn't left a track. I +followed around to see. I stood on the bank and looked out over the +river. All safe. So I took the gun and went up a piece into the woods, +and was hunting around for some birds when I see a wild pig; hogs soon +went wild in them bottoms after they had got away from the prairie farms. +I shot this fellow and took him into camp. + +I took the axe and smashed in the door. I beat it and hacked it +considerable a-doing it. I fetched the pig in, and took him back nearly +to the table and hacked into his throat with the axe, and laid him down +on the ground to bleed; I say ground because it was ground--hard packed, +and no boards. Well, next I took an old sack and put a lot of big rocks +in it--all I could drag--and I started it from the pig, and dragged it +to the door and through the woods down to the river and dumped it in, and +down it sunk, out of sight. You could easy see that something had been +dragged over the ground. I did wish Tom Sawyer was there; I knowed he +would take an interest in this kind of business, and throw in the fancy +touches. Nobody could spread himself like Tom Sawyer in such a thing as +that. + +Well, last I pulled out some of my hair, and blooded the axe good, and +stuck it on the back side, and slung the axe in the corner. Then I took +up the pig and held him to my breast with my jacket (so he couldn't drip) +till I got a good piece below the house and then dumped him into the +river. Now I thought of something else. So I went and got the bag of +meal and my old saw out of the canoe, and fetched them to the house. I +took the bag to where it used to stand, and ripped a hole in the bottom +of it with the saw, for there warn't no knives and forks on the place +--pap done everything with his clasp-knife about the cooking. Then I +carried the sack about a hundred yards across the grass and through the +willows east of the house, to a shallow lake that was five mile wide and +full of rushes--and ducks too, you might say, in the season. There was a +slough or a creek leading out of it on the other side that went miles +away, I don't know where, but it didn't go to the river. The meal sifted +out and made a little track all the way to the lake. I dropped pap's +whetstone there too, so as to look like it had been done by accident. +Then I tied up the rip in the meal sack with a string, so it wouldn't +leak no more, and took it and my saw to the canoe again. + +It was about dark now; so I dropped the canoe down the river under some +willows that hung over the bank, and waited for the moon to rise. I made +fast to a willow; then I took a bite to eat, and by and by laid down in +the canoe to smoke a pipe and lay out a plan. I says to myself, they'll +follow the track of that sackful of rocks to the shore and then drag the +river for me. And they'll follow that meal track to the lake and go +browsing down the creek that leads out of it to find the robbers that +killed me and took the things. They won't ever hunt the river for +anything but my dead carcass. They'll soon get tired of that, and won't +bother no more about me. All right; I can stop anywhere I want to. +Jackson's Island is good enough for me; I know that island pretty well, +and nobody ever comes there. And then I can paddle over to town nights, +and slink around and pick up things I want. Jackson's Island's the place. + +I was pretty tired, and the first thing I knowed I was asleep. When I +woke up I didn't know where I was for a minute. I set up and looked +around, a little scared. Then I remembered. The river looked miles and +miles across. The moon was so bright I could a counted the drift logs +that went a-slipping along, black and still, hundreds of yards out from +shore. Everything was dead quiet, and it looked late, and SMELT late. +You know what I mean--I don't know the words to put it in. + +I took a good gap and a stretch, and was just going to unhitch and start +when I heard a sound away over the water. I listened. Pretty soon I +made it out. It was that dull kind of a regular sound that comes from +oars working in rowlocks when it's a still night. I peeped out through +the willow branches, and there it was--a skiff, away across the water. I +couldn't tell how many was in it. It kept a-coming, and when it was +abreast of me I see there warn't but one man in it. Think's I, maybe +it's pap, though I warn't expecting him. He dropped below me with the +current, and by and by he came a-swinging up shore in the easy water, and +he went by so close I could a reached out the gun and touched him. Well, +it WAS pap, sure enough--and sober, too, by the way he laid his oars. + +I didn't lose no time. The next minute I was a-spinning down stream soft +but quick in the shade of the bank. I made two mile and a half, and then +struck out a quarter of a mile or more towards the middle of the river, +because pretty soon I would be passing the ferry landing, and people +might see me and hail me. I got out amongst the driftwood, and then laid +down in the bottom of the canoe and let her float. I laid there, and had +a good rest and a smoke out of my pipe, looking away into the sky; not a +cloud in it. The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back +in the moonshine; I never knowed it before. And how far a body can hear +on the water such nights! I heard people talking at the ferry landing. +I heard what they said, too--every word of it. One man said it was +getting towards the long days and the short nights now. T'other one said +THIS warn't one of the short ones, he reckoned--and then they laughed, +and he said it over again, and they laughed again; then they waked up +another fellow and told him, and laughed, but he didn't laugh; he ripped +out something brisk, and said let him alone. The first fellow said he +'lowed to tell it to his old woman--she would think it was pretty good; +but he said that warn't nothing to some things he had said in his time. +I heard one man say it was nearly three o'clock, and he hoped daylight +wouldn't wait more than about a week longer. After that the talk got +further and further away, and I couldn't make out the words any more; but +I could hear the mumble, and now and then a laugh, too, but it seemed a +long ways off. + +I was away below the ferry now. I rose up, and there was Jackson's +Island, about two mile and a half down stream, heavy timbered and +standing up out of the middle of the river, big and dark and solid, like +a steamboat without any lights. There warn't any signs of the bar at the +head--it was all under water now. + +It didn't take me long to get there. I shot past the head at a ripping +rate, the current was so swift, and then I got into the dead water and +landed on the side towards the Illinois shore. I run the canoe into a +deep dent in the bank that I knowed about; I had to part the willow +branches to get in; and when I made fast nobody could a seen the canoe +from the outside. + +I went up and set down on a log at the head of the island, and looked out +on the big river and the black driftwood and away over to the town, three +mile away, where there was three or four lights twinkling. A monstrous +big lumber-raft was about a mile up stream, coming along down, with a +lantern in the middle of it. I watched it come creeping down, and when +it was most abreast of where I stood I heard a man say, "Stern oars, +there! heave her head to stabboard!" I heard that just as plain as if +the man was by my side. + +There was a little gray in the sky now; so I stepped into the woods, and +laid down for a nap before breakfast. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +THE sun was up so high when I waked that I judged it was after eight +o'clock. I laid there in the grass and the cool shade thinking about +things, and feeling rested and ruther comfortable and satisfied. I could +see the sun out at one or two holes, but mostly it was big trees all +about, and gloomy in there amongst them. There was freckled places on +the ground where the light sifted down through the leaves, and the +freckled places swapped about a little, showing there was a little breeze +up there. A couple of squirrels set on a limb and jabbered at me very +friendly. + +I was powerful lazy and comfortable--didn't want to get up and cook +breakfast. Well, I was dozing off again when I thinks I hears a deep +sound of "boom!" away up the river. I rouses up, and rests on my elbow +and listens; pretty soon I hears it again. I hopped up, and went and +looked out at a hole in the leaves, and I see a bunch of smoke laying on +the water a long ways up--about abreast the ferry. And there was the +ferryboat full of people floating along down. I knowed what was the +matter now. "Boom!" I see the white smoke squirt out of the ferryboat's +side. You see, they was firing cannon over the water, trying to make my +carcass come to the top. + +I was pretty hungry, but it warn't going to do for me to start a fire, +because they might see the smoke. So I set there and watched the +cannon-smoke and listened to the boom. The river was a mile wide there, +and it always looks pretty on a summer morning--so I was having a good +enough time seeing them hunt for my remainders if I only had a bite to +eat. Well, then I happened to think how they always put quicksilver in +loaves of bread and float them off, because they always go right to the +drownded carcass and stop there. So, says I, I'll keep a lookout, and if +any of them's floating around after me I'll give them a show. I changed +to the Illinois edge of the island to see what luck I could have, and I +warn't disappointed. A big double loaf come along, and I most got it +with a long stick, but my foot slipped and she floated out further. Of +course I was where the current set in the closest to the shore--I knowed +enough for that. But by and by along comes another one, and this time I +won. I took out the plug and shook out the little dab of quicksilver, +and set my teeth in. It was "baker's bread"--what the quality eat; none +of your low-down corn-pone. + +I got a good place amongst the leaves, and set there on a log, munching +the bread and watching the ferry-boat, and very well satisfied. And then +something struck me. I says, now I reckon the widow or the parson or +somebody prayed that this bread would find me, and here it has gone and +done it. So there ain't no doubt but there is something in that thing +--that is, there's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson +prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just +the right kind. + +I lit a pipe and had a good long smoke, and went on watching. The +ferryboat was floating with the current, and I allowed I'd have a chance +to see who was aboard when she come along, because she would come in +close, where the bread did. When she'd got pretty well along down +towards me, I put out my pipe and went to where I fished out the bread, +and laid down behind a log on the bank in a little open place. Where the +log forked I could peep through. + +By and by she come along, and she drifted in so close that they could a +run out a plank and walked ashore. Most everybody was on the boat. Pap, +and Judge Thatcher, and Bessie Thatcher, and Jo Harper, and Tom Sawyer, +and his old Aunt Polly, and Sid and Mary, and plenty more. Everybody was +talking about the murder, but the captain broke in and says: + +"Look sharp, now; the current sets in the closest here, and maybe he's +washed ashore and got tangled amongst the brush at the water's edge. I +hope so, anyway." + +I didn't hope so. They all crowded up and leaned over the rails, nearly +in my face, and kept still, watching with all their might. I could see +them first-rate, but they couldn't see me. Then the captain sung out: + +"Stand away!" and the cannon let off such a blast right before me that it +made me deef with the noise and pretty near blind with the smoke, and I +judged I was gone. If they'd a had some bullets in, I reckon they'd a +got the corpse they was after. Well, I see I warn't hurt, thanks to +goodness. The boat floated on and went out of sight around the shoulder +of the island. I could hear the booming now and then, further and +further off, and by and by, after an hour, I didn't hear it no more. The +island was three mile long. I judged they had got to the foot, and was +giving it up. But they didn't yet a while. They turned around the foot +of the island and started up the channel on the Missouri side, under +steam, and booming once in a while as they went. I crossed over to that +side and watched them. When they got abreast the head of the island they +quit shooting and dropped over to the Missouri shore and went home to the +town. + +I knowed I was all right now. Nobody else would come a-hunting after me. +I got my traps out of the canoe and made me a nice camp in the thick +woods. I made a kind of a tent out of my blankets to put my things under +so the rain couldn't get at them. I catched a catfish and haggled him +open with my saw, and towards sundown I started my camp fire and had +supper. Then I set out a line to catch some fish for breakfast. + +When it was dark I set by my camp fire smoking, and feeling pretty well +satisfied; but by and by it got sort of lonesome, and so I went and set +on the bank and listened to the current swashing along, and counted the +stars and drift logs and rafts that come down, and then went to bed; +there ain't no better way to put in time when you are lonesome; you can't +stay so, you soon get over it. + +And so for three days and nights. No difference--just the same thing. +But the next day I went exploring around down through the island. I was +boss of it; it all belonged to me, so to say, and I wanted to know all +about it; but mainly I wanted to put in the time. I found plenty +strawberries, ripe and prime; and green summer grapes, and green +razberries; and the green blackberries was just beginning to show. They +would all come handy by and by, I judged. + +Well, I went fooling along in the deep woods till I judged I warn't far +from the foot of the island. I had my gun along, but I hadn't shot +nothing; it was for protection; thought I would kill some game nigh home. +About this time I mighty near stepped on a good-sized snake, and it went +sliding off through the grass and flowers, and I after it, trying to get +a shot at it. I clipped along, and all of a sudden I bounded right on to +the ashes of a camp fire that was still smoking. + +My heart jumped up amongst my lungs. I never waited for to look further, +but uncocked my gun and went sneaking back on my tiptoes as fast as ever +I could. Every now and then I stopped a second amongst the thick leaves +and listened, but my breath come so hard I couldn't hear nothing else. I +slunk along another piece further, then listened again; and so on, and so +on. If I see a stump, I took it for a man; if I trod on a stick and +broke it, it made me feel like a person had cut one of my breaths in two +and I only got half, and the short half, too. + +When I got to camp I warn't feeling very brash, there warn't much sand in +my craw; but I says, this ain't no time to be fooling around. So I got +all my traps into my canoe again so as to have them out of sight, and I +put out the fire and scattered the ashes around to look like an old last +year's camp, and then clumb a tree. + +I reckon I was up in the tree two hours; but I didn't see nothing, I +didn't hear nothing--I only THOUGHT I heard and seen as much as a +thousand things. Well, I couldn't stay up there forever; so at last I +got down, but I kept in the thick woods and on the lookout all the time. +All I could get to eat was berries and what was left over from breakfast. + +By the time it was night I was pretty hungry. So when it was good and +dark I slid out from shore before moonrise and paddled over to the +Illinois bank--about a quarter of a mile. I went out in the woods and +cooked a supper, and I had about made up my mind I would stay there all +night when I hear a PLUNKETY-PLUNK, PLUNKETY-PLUNK, and says to myself, +horses coming; and next I hear people's voices. I got everything into +the canoe as quick as I could, and then went creeping through the woods +to see what I could find out. I hadn't got far when I hear a man say: + +"We better camp here if we can find a good place; the horses is about +beat out. Let's look around." + +I didn't wait, but shoved out and paddled away easy. I tied up in the +old place, and reckoned I would sleep in the canoe. + +I didn't sleep much. I couldn't, somehow, for thinking. And every time +I waked up I thought somebody had me by the neck. So the sleep didn't do +me no good. By and by I says to myself, I can't live this way; I'm +a-going to find out who it is that's here on the island with me; I'll +find it out or bust. Well, I felt better right off. + +So I took my paddle and slid out from shore just a step or two, and then +let the canoe drop along down amongst the shadows. The moon was shining, +and outside of the shadows it made it most as light as day. I poked +along well on to an hour, everything still as rocks and sound asleep. +Well, by this time I was most down to the foot of the island. A little +ripply, cool breeze begun to blow, and that was as good as saying the +night was about done. I give her a turn with the paddle and brung her +nose to shore; then I got my gun and slipped out and into the edge of the +woods. I sat down there on a log, and looked out through the leaves. I +see the moon go off watch, and the darkness begin to blanket the river. +But in a little while I see a pale streak over the treetops, and knowed +the day was coming. So I took my gun and slipped off towards where I had +run across that camp fire, stopping every minute or two to listen. But I +hadn't no luck somehow; I couldn't seem to find the place. But by and +by, sure enough, I catched a glimpse of fire away through the trees. I +went for it, cautious and slow. By and by I was close enough to have a +look, and there laid a man on the ground. It most give me the fan-tods. +He had a blanket around his head, and his head was nearly in the fire. I +set there behind a clump of bushes, in about six foot of him, and kept my +eyes on him steady. It was getting gray daylight now. Pretty soon he +gapped and stretched himself and hove off the blanket, and it was Miss +Watson's Jim! I bet I was glad to see him. I says: + +"Hello, Jim!" and skipped out. + +He bounced up and stared at me wild. Then he drops down on his knees, +and puts his hands together and says: + +"Doan' hurt me--don't! I hain't ever done no harm to a ghos'. I alwuz +liked dead people, en done all I could for 'em. You go en git in de +river agin, whah you b'longs, en doan' do nuffn to Ole Jim, 'at 'uz awluz +yo' fren'." + +Well, I warn't long making him understand I warn't dead. I was ever so +glad to see Jim. I warn't lonesome now. I told him I warn't afraid of +HIM telling the people where I was. I talked along, but he only set +there and looked at me; never said nothing. Then I says: + +"It's good daylight. Le's get breakfast. Make up your camp fire good." + +"What's de use er makin' up de camp fire to cook strawbries en sich +truck? But you got a gun, hain't you? Den we kin git sumfn better den +strawbries." + +"Strawberries and such truck," I says. "Is that what you live on?" + +"I couldn' git nuffn else," he says. + +"Why, how long you been on the island, Jim?" + +"I come heah de night arter you's killed." + +"What, all that time?" + +"Yes--indeedy." + +"And ain't you had nothing but that kind of rubbage to eat?" + +"No, sah--nuffn else." + +"Well, you must be most starved, ain't you?" + +"I reck'n I could eat a hoss. I think I could. How long you ben on de +islan'?" + +"Since the night I got killed." + +"No! W'y, what has you lived on? But you got a gun. Oh, yes, you got a +gun. Dat's good. Now you kill sumfn en I'll make up de fire." + +So we went over to where the canoe was, and while he built a fire in a +grassy open place amongst the trees, I fetched meal and bacon and coffee, +and coffee-pot and frying-pan, and sugar and tin cups, and the nigger was +set back considerable, because he reckoned it was all done with +witchcraft. I catched a good big catfish, too, and Jim cleaned him with +his knife, and fried him. + +When breakfast was ready we lolled on the grass and eat it smoking hot. +Jim laid it in with all his might, for he was most about starved. Then +when we had got pretty well stuffed, we laid off and lazied. By and by +Jim says: + +"But looky here, Huck, who wuz it dat 'uz killed in dat shanty ef it +warn't you?" + +Then I told him the whole thing, and he said it was smart. He said Tom +Sawyer couldn't get up no better plan than what I had. Then I says: + +"How do you come to be here, Jim, and how'd you get here?" + +He looked pretty uneasy, and didn't say nothing for a minute. Then he +says: + +"Maybe I better not tell." + +"Why, Jim?" + +"Well, dey's reasons. But you wouldn' tell on me ef I uz to tell you, +would you, Huck?" + +"Blamed if I would, Jim." + +"Well, I b'lieve you, Huck. I--I RUN OFF." + +"Jim!" + +"But mind, you said you wouldn' tell--you know you said you wouldn' tell, +Huck." + +"Well, I did. I said I wouldn't, and I'll stick to it. Honest INJUN, I +will. People would call me a low-down Abolitionist and despise me for +keeping mum--but that don't make no difference. I ain't a-going to tell, +and I ain't a-going back there, anyways. So, now, le's know all about +it." + +"Well, you see, it 'uz dis way. Ole missus--dat's Miss Watson--she pecks +on me all de time, en treats me pooty rough, but she awluz said she +wouldn' sell me down to Orleans. But I noticed dey wuz a nigger trader +roun' de place considable lately, en I begin to git oneasy. Well, one +night I creeps to de do' pooty late, en de do' warn't quite shet, en I +hear old missus tell de widder she gwyne to sell me down to Orleans, but +she didn' want to, but she could git eight hund'd dollars for me, en it +'uz sich a big stack o' money she couldn' resis'. De widder she try to +git her to say she wouldn' do it, but I never waited to hear d
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