http://git-wip-us.apache.org/repos/asf/ignite/blob/67b4da70/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/alice-in-wonderland.txt ---------------------------------------------------------------------- diff --git a/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/alice-in-wonderland.txt b/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/alice-in-wonderland.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d65883a --- /dev/null +++ b/modules/hadoop-impl/src/test/java/org/apache/ignite/internal/processors/hadoop/impl/books/alice-in-wonderland.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3735 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland + +Author: Lewis Carroll + +Posting Date: June 25, 2008 [EBook #11] +Release Date: March, 1994 +[Last updated: December 20, 2011] + +Language: English + + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND *** + + + + + + + + + + +ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND + +Lewis Carroll + +THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0 + + + + +CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole + +Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the +bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the +book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in +it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or +conversation?' + +So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the +hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure +of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and +picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran +close by her. + +There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so +VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! +Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it +occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time +it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH +OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, +Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had +never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch +to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field +after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large +rabbit-hole under the hedge. + +In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how +in the world she was to get out again. + +The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then +dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think +about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep +well. + +Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had +plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was +going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what +she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she +looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with +cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures +hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as +she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great +disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear +of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as +she fell past it. + +'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall +think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at +home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top +of the house!' (Which was very likely true.) + +Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how +many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting +somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four +thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several +things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this +was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there +was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) +'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude +or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or +Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.) + +Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the +earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with +their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad +there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the +right word) '--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country +is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and +she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling +through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And what an +ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to +ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' + +Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began +talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' +(Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at +tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no +mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very +like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice +began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy +sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do +bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, +it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing +off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with +Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: +did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon +a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. + +Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: +she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another +long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. +There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and +was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears +and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she +turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found +herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging +from the roof. + +There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when +Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every +door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to +get out again. + +Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid +glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's +first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; +but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, +but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second +time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and +behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the +little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! + +Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not +much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage +into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of +that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and +those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the +doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it +would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could +shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how to begin.' +For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, +that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really +impossible. + +There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went +back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at +any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this +time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was not here +before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper +label, with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large +letters. + +It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was +not going to do THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and +see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice +little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild +beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember +the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot +poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your +finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never +forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison,' it is +almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. + +However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste +it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour +of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot +buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off. + + * * * * * * * + + * * * * * * + + * * * * * * * + +'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a +telescope.' + +And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face +brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going +through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she +waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: +she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,' said +Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder +what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a +candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember +ever having seen such a thing. + +After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going +into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the +door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she +went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach +it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her +best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; +and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing +sat down and cried. + +'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, +rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally +gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), +and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into +her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having +cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, +for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. +'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! +Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!' + +Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: +she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words +'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said +Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it +makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll +get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!' + +She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way? Which +way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was +growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same +size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice +had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way +things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on +in the common way. + +So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. + + * * * * * * * + + * * * * * * + + * * * * * * * + + + + +CHAPTER II. The Pool of Tears + +'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that +for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm +opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' +(for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of +sight, they were getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder +who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure +_I_ shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble +myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but I must be +kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way I want +to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.' + +And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 'They must +go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending +presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look! + + ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. + HEARTHRUG, + NEAR THE FENDER, + (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). + +Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' + +Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was +now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden +key and hurried off to the garden door. + +Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to +look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more +hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. + +'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like +you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this +moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of +tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches +deep and reaching half down the hall. + +After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and +she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White +Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in +one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great +hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! +Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so +desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit +came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If you please, sir--' +The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, +and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go. + +Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she +kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How +queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. +I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the +same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a +little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who +in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began thinking +over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to +see if she could have been changed for any of them. + +'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long +ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't +be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a +very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling +it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me +see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and +four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! +However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. +London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and +Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for +Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her +hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, +but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the +same as they used to do:-- + + 'How doth the little crocodile + Improve his shining tail, + And pour the waters of the Nile + On every golden scale! + + 'How cheerfully he seems to grin, + How neatly spread his claws, + And welcome little fishes in + With gently smiling jaws!' + +'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes +filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and +I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to +no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've +made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no +use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I +shall only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, +if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here +till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst +of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down! I am so VERY tired +of being all alone here!' + +As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see +that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while +she was talking. 'How CAN I have done that?' she thought. 'I must +be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure +herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now +about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found +out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped +it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. + +'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the +sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and +now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: +but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was +lying on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' +thought the poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! +And I declare it's too bad, that it is!' + +As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! +she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she +had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by +railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in +her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go +to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the +sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row +of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon +made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she +was nine feet high. + +'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying +to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by +being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure! +However, everything is queer to-day.' + +Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way +off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought +it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small +she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had +slipped in like herself. + +'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse? +Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very +likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she +began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired +of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right +way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but +she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of +a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather +inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, +but it said nothing. + +'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's +a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all +her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago +anything had happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which +was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a +sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. +'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt +the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' + +'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would +YOU like cats if you were me?' + +'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry +about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd +take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet +thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the +pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and +washing her face--and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's +such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried +Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she +felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any +more if you'd rather not.' + +'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his +tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED +cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!' + +'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of +conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not +answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog near +our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you +know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when +you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts +of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, +you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He +says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful +tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming +away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in +the pool as it went. + +So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we +won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the +Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its +face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low +trembling voice, 'Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my +history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' + +It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the +birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, +a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the +way, and the whole party swam to the shore. + + + + +CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale + +They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the +birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close +to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. + +The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a +consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural +to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had +known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the +Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than +you, and must know better'; and this Alice would not allow without +knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its +age, there was no more to be said. + +At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, +called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you +dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse +in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt +sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. + +'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This +is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William +the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted +to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much +accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of +Mercia and Northumbria--"' + +'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. + +'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did +you speak?' + +'Not I!' said the Lory hastily. + +'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, +the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, +the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"' + +'Found WHAT?' said the Duck. + +'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what +"it" means.' + +'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the +Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the +archbishop find?' + +The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found +it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the +crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his +Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning +to Alice as it spoke. + +'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to +dry me at all.' + +'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move +that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic +remedies--' + +'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half +those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And +the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds +tittered audibly. + +'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that +the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' + +'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, +but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, +and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. + +'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as +you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell +you how the Dodo managed it.) + +First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact +shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed +along the course, here and there. There was no 'One, two, three, and +away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they +liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, +when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, +the Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded +round it, panting, and asking, 'But who has won?' + +This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, +and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead +(the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures +of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, +'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.' + +'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked. + +'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; +and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused +way, 'Prizes! Prizes!' + +Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her +pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had +not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one +a-piece all round. + +'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. + +'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have you got in +your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. + +'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. + +'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. + +Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly +presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant +thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. + +Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave +that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything +to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she +could. + +The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and +confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste +theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. +However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and +begged the Mouse to tell them something more. + +'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why +it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it +would be offended again. + +'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and +sighing. + +'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at +the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling +about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was +something like this:-- + + 'Fury said to a + mouse, That he + met in the + house, + "Let us + both go to + law: I will + prosecute + YOU.--Come, + I'll take no + denial; We + must have a + trial: For + really this + morning I've + nothing + to do." + Said the + mouse to the + cur, "Such + a trial, + dear Sir, + With + no jury + or judge, + would be + wasting + our + breath." + "I'll be + judge, I'll + be jury," + Said + cunning + old Fury: + "I'll + try the + whole + cause, + and + condemn + you + to + death."' + + +'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 'What are you +thinking of?' + +'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth +bend, I think?' + +'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. + +'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking +anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!' + +'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking +away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!' + +'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended, +you know!' + +The Mouse only growled in reply. + +'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the +others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook +its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker. + +'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite +out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her +daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose +YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little +snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!' + +'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing +nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!' + +'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the +Lory. + +Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: +'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you +can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, +she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!' + +This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the +birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very +carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting home; the night-air +doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to +its children, 'Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' +On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. + +'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy +tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best +cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you +any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very +lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard +a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up +eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming +back to finish his story. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill + +It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking +anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard +it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh +my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are +ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a +moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, +and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were +nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her swim in +the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, +had vanished completely. + +Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and +called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing +out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! +Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once +in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it +had made. + +'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 'How +surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him +his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she +came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass +plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without +knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the +real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the +fan and gloves. + +'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for +a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she +began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come +here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, +nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't +think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it +began ordering people about like that!' + +By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table +in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs +of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, +and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little +bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time +with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it +to her lips. 'I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said +to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what +this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really +I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' + +It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had +drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, +and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put +down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't +grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't +drunk quite so much!' + +Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, +and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there +was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with +one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. +Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out +of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I +can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' + +Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, +and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there +seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room +again, no wonder she felt unhappy. + +'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't +always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and +rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and +yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what +CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that +kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! +There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I +grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful +tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more HERE.' + +'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am +now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but +then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' + +'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you learn +lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all +for any lesson-books!' + +And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making +quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard +a voice outside, and stopped to listen. + +'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!' +Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was +the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the +house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large +as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. + +Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as +the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, +that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll +go round and get in at the window.' + +'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied +she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her +hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, +but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, +from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a +cucumber-frame, or something of the sort. + +Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And +then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging +for apples, yer honour!' + +'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! Come and +help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) + +'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' + +'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.') + +'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole +window!' + +'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' + +'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!' + +There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers +now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at +all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her +hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were +TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of +cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do +next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm +sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!' + +She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a +rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices +all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's the other +ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill! +fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em +together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! they'll +do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this +rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming +down! Heads below!' (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I +fancy--Who's to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I +won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to +go down the chimney!' + +'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to +herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in +Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but +I THINK I can kick a little!' + +She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited +till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) +scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, +saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to +see what would happen next. + +The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!' +then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then +silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--Brandy +now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell +us all about it!' + +Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought +Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm +a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me +like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!' + +'So you did, old fellow!' said the others. + +'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called +out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!' + +There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I +wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the +roof off.' After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and +Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.' + +'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, +for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the +window, and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' +she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not do that again!' +which produced another dead silence. + +Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into +little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her +head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make +SOME change in my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must +make me smaller, I suppose.' + +So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she +began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through +the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little +animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was +in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it +something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she +appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself +safe in a thick wood. + +'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered +about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second +thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be +the best plan.' + +It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply +arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea +how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among +the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a +great hurry. + +An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and +feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!' +said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but +she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be +hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of +all her coaxing. + +Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and +held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off +all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, +and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, +to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the +other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head +over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was +very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every +moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then +the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very +little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely +all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with +its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. + +This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she +set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and +till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance. + +'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant +against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the +leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd +only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that +I've got to grow up again! Let me see--how IS it to be managed? I +suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great +question is, what?' + +The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at +the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that +looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. +There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as +herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and +behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what +was on the top of it. + +She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the +mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, +that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long +hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else. + + + + +CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar + +The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: +at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed +her in a languid, sleepy voice. + +'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. + +This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, +rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know +who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been +changed several times since then.' + +'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain +yourself!' + +'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not +myself, you see.' + +'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. + +'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, +'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many +different sizes in a day is very confusing.' + +'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. + +'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you +have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then +after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little +queer, won't you?' + +'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. + +'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know +is, it would feel very queer to ME.' + +'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are YOU?' + +Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. +Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY +short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think, +you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' + +'Why?' said the Caterpillar. + +Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any +good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant +state of mind, she turned away. + +'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important +to say!' + +This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. + +'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. + +'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she +could. + +'No,' said the Caterpillar. + +Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and +perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some +minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its +arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think +you're changed, do you?' + +'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I +used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' + +'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. + +'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came +different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. + +'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. + +Alice folded her hands, and began:-- + + 'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, + 'And your hair has become very white; + And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- + Do you think, at your age, it is right?' + + 'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, + 'I feared it might injure the brain; + But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, + Why, I do it again and again.' + + 'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, + And have grown most uncommonly fat; + Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- + Pray, what is the reason of that?' + + 'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, + 'I kept all my limbs very supple + By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- + Allow me to sell you a couple?' + + 'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak + For anything tougher than suet; + Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- + Pray how did you manage to do it?' + + 'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, + And argued each case with my wife; + And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, + Has lasted the rest of my life.' + + 'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose + That your eye was as steady as ever; + Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- + What made you so awfully clever?' + + 'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' + Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs! + Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? + Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' + + +'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. + +'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words +have got altered.' + +'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and +there was silence for some minutes. + +The Caterpillar was the first to speak. + +'What size do you want to be?' it asked. + +'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one +doesn't like changing so often, you know.' + +'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. + +Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life +before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. + +'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. + +'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' +said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.' + +'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing +itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). + +'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And +she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily +offended!' + +'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the +hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. + +This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In +a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth +and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the +mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, +'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you +grow shorter.' + +'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself. + +'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it +aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. + +Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying +to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly +round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she +stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit +of the edge with each hand. + +'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of +the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent +blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! + +She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt +that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she +set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed +so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her +mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the +lefthand bit. + + + * * * * * * * + + * * * * * * + + * * * * * * * + +'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which +changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders +were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was +an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a +sea of green leaves that lay far below her. + +'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where HAVE my +shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' +She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, +except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. + +As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she +tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her +neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had +just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going +to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops +of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made +her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and +was beating her violently with its wings. + +'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. + +'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!' + +'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, +and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems +to suit them!' + +'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice. + +'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried +hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those +serpents! There's no pleasing them!' + +Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in +saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. + +'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; +'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I +haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' + +'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to +see its meaning. + +'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the +Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I +should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from +the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' + +'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a--I'm a--' + +'Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to +invent something!' + +'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered +the number of changes she had gone through that day. + +'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest +contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE +with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use +denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an +egg!' + +'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful +child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you +know.' + +'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're +a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' + +This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a +minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're +looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me +whether you're a little girl or a serpent?' + +'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking +for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't +like them raw.' + +'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled +down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as +she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and +every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she +remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and +she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the +other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had +succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. + +It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it +felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, +and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done +now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going +to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right +size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that +to be done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open +place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever lives +there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them THIS size: why, +I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling at the +righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she +had brought herself down to nine inches high. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. Pig and Pepper + +For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what +to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the +wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: +otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a +fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened +by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a +frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all +over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, +and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. + +The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, +nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, +saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen +to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, +only changing the order of the words a little, 'From the Queen. An +invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.' + +Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. + +Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the +wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the +Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the +door, staring stupidly up into the sky. + +Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. + +'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for +two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you +are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could +possibly hear you.' And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise +going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then +a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces. + +'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?' + +'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on +without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For instance, +if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.' +He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this +Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she +said to herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head. +But at any rate he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she +repeated, aloud. + +'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--' + +At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came +skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, +and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. + +'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly +as if nothing had happened. + +'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. + +'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first +question, you know.' + +It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really +dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue. +It's enough to drive one crazy!' + +The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his +remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for +days and days.' + +'But what am I to do?' said Alice. + +'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. + +'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's +perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. + +The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from +one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in +the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring +a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. + +'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, +as well as she could for sneezing. + +There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess +sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling +alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen +that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on +the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. + +'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was +not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why +your cat grins like that?' + +'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' + +She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite +jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, +and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:-- + +'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know +that cats COULD grin.' + +'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' + +'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite +pleased to have got into a conversation. + +'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.' + +Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would +be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she +was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the +fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at +the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a +shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of +them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, +that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. + +'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in +an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually +large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. + +'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse +growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it does.' + +'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get +an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of +what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes +twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--' + +'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!' + +Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take +the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to +be listening, so she went on again: 'Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is +it twelve? I--' + +'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures!' +And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of +lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of +every line: + + 'Speak roughly to your little boy, + And beat him when he sneezes: + He only does it to annoy, + Because he knows it teases.' + + CHORUS. + + (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- + + 'Wow! wow! wow!' + +While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing +the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, +that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- + + 'I speak severely to my boy, + I beat him when he sneezes; + For he can thoroughly enjoy + The pepper when he pleases!' + + CHORUS. + + 'Wow! wow! wow!' + +'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, +flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and get ready to play +croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw +a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. + +Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped +little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just +like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting +like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and +straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute +or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. + +As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to +twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right +ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried +it out into the open air. 'IF I don't take this child away with me,' +thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be +murder to leave it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the +little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). +'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of expressing +yourself.' + +The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to +see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had +a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its +eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not +like the look of the thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' +she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any +tears. + +No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' +said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind +now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible +to say which), and they went on for some while in silence. + +Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with +this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, +that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could +be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she +felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further. + +So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see +it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' she said +to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes +rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began thinking over other +children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying +to herself, 'if one only knew the right way to change them--' when she +was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a +tree a few yards off. + +The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she +thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she +felt that it ought to be treated with respect. + +'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know +whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. +'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you +tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' + +'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. + +'I don't much care where--' said Alice. + +'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. + +'--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. + +'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long +enough.' + +Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. +'What sort of people live about here?' + +'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives +a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March +Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' + +'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. + +'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. +You're mad.' + +'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. + +'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.' + +Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how +do you know that you're mad?' + +'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant that?' + +'I suppose so,' said Alice. + +'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry, +and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and +wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' + +'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. + +'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the +Queen to-day?' + +'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been invited +yet.' + +'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. + +Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer +things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, +it suddenly appeared again. + +'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd nearly +forgotten to ask.' + +'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back +in a natural way. + +'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. + +Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not +appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in +which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen hatters before,' she +said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and +perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as +it was in March.' As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat +again, sitting on a branch of a tree. + +'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. + +'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and +vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' + +'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, +beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which +remained some time after the rest of it had gone. + +'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin +without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!' + +She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house +of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the +chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It +was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had +nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to +about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, +saying to herself 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost +wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!' + + + + +CHAPTER VII. A Mad Tea-Party + +There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the +March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting +between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a +cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. 'Very +uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I +suppose it doesn't mind.' + +The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at +one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice +coming. 'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat +down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. + +'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. + +Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. +'I don't see any wine,' she remarked. + +'There isn't any,' said the March Hare. + +'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily. + +'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said +the March Hare. + +'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great +many more than three.' + +'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice +for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. + +'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some +severity; 'it's very rude.' + +The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID +was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' + +'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they've +begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud. + +'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the +March Hare. + +'Exactly so,' said Alice. + +'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. + +'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what I +say--that's the same thing, you know.' + +'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say +that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!' + +'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I +get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' + +'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be +talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing +as "I sleep when I breathe"!' + +'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the +conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice +thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, +which wasn't much. + +The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of the month +is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his +pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, +and holding it to his ear. + +Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.' + +'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit +the works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare. + +'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. + +'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: +'you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' + +The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped +it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of +nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter, +you know.' + +Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a +funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't +tell what o'clock it is!' + +'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what +year it is?' + +'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it +stays the same year for such a long time together.' + +'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. + +Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no +sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 'I don't quite +understand you,' she said, as politely as she could. + +'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little +hot tea upon its nose. + +The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its +eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.' + +'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice +again. + +'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?' + +'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. + +'Nor I,' said the March Hare. + +Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better with the +time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' + +'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk +about wasting IT. It's HIM.' + +'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. + +'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. +'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' + +'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time +when I learn music.' + +'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand beating. +Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything +you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in +the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a +hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, +time for dinner!' + +('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) + +'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I +shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' + +'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to +half-past one as long as you liked.' + +'Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. + +The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We +quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing +with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at the great concert +given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing + + "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! + How I wonder what you're at!" + +You know the song, perhaps?' + +'I've heard something like it,' said Alice. + +'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:-- + + "Up above the world you fly, + Like a tea-tray in the sky. + Twinkle, twinkle--"' + +Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle, +twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch +it to make it stop. + +'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the +Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his +head!"' + +'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. + +'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't +do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' + +A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many +tea-things are put out here?' she asked. + +'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea-time, +and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' + +'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. + +'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.' + +'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured +to ask. + +'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. +'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.' + +'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the +proposal. + +'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!' And +they pinched it on both sides at once. + +The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a +hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.' + +'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. + +'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. + +'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again +before it's done.' + +'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began +in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and +they lived at the bottom of a well--' + +'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in +questions of eating and drinking. + +'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or +two. + +'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd +have been ill.' + +'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY ill.' + +Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of +living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But +why did they live at the bottom of a well?' + +'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. + +'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't +take more.' + +'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take +MORE than nothing.' + +'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. + +'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly. + +Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself +to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and +repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' + +The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then +said, 'It was a treacle-well.' + +'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the +Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily +remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for +yourself.' + +'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again. I +dare say there may be ONE.' + +'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to +go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, +you know--' + +'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. + +'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. + +'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place +on.' + +He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare +moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took +the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any +advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than +before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. + +Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very +cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle +from?' + +'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should +think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' + +'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to +notice this last remark. + +'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.' + +This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for +some time without interrupting it. + +'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing +its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of +things--everything that begins with an M--' + +'Why with an M?' said Alice. + +'Why not?' said the March Hare. + +Alice was silent. + +The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into +a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with +a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an M, such as +mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say +things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a +drawing of a muchness?' + +'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't +think--' + +'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. + +This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in +great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and +neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she +looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: +the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into +the teapot. + +'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her +way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all +my life!' + +Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door +leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But +everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in +she went. + +Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little +glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, +and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that +led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she +had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: +then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at +last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool +fountains. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground + +A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses +growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily +painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went +nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of +them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like +that!' + +'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my +elbow.' + +On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the +blame on others!' + +'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only +yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' + +'What for?' said the one who had spoken first. + +'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. + +'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for +bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' + +Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust +things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching +them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and +all of them bowed low. + +'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting +those roses?' + +Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low +voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a +RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen +was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. +So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this +moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called +out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw +themselves flat
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