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cs in America, Part 2, by Robert L. Kocher</A>
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Politics in America


Part 2: The Hung-up Generations Without Hangups


by Robert L. Kocher

The present American condition was strongly determined by the childrearing
practices and the developmental atmosphere 35, 40, and 45 years ago. Hence,
an important place to begin analysis of the history of the last thirty years
is with relevant aspects of childrearing and child development that produced
the teen-agers, the young adults and finally the middle-aged adults who now
make up a significant proportion of this country. That is where everything
began; consequently, that is where we must begin in order to understand the
pathology of today. There has been a catastrophic misunderstanding of certain
aspects of developmental psychology in this country. Much of this
misunderstanding has been accepted by and/or created by professionals in the
field. Portions of the developmental psychology field seem to have been
molded around a core complex of distortion. Part of this distortion
represents a form of negative attention-seeking by professionals and
academicians. Part of it represents a desire to be intellectually cute.
Adversarial cuteness has become important. Clearly, the results haven't been
cute.
One of the avowed goals of theoreticians has been to produce a more humane
system of childrearing wherein children experience no discomfort or
frustration. But fear, discomfort and frustration are an intrinsic part of
the growth process. In attempts to insulate children from all discomfort and
frustration, the result has been to insulate children from emotional growth.
The ultimate consequence has been to produce adults who live in pain and
frustration for the remainder of their lives.
Childrearing must be examined because, while it is fundamental, it has become
obscured or displaced by alternative misunderstanding and has become lost
knowledge. Most of the political, social, and economic problems now facing
this country are delayed effects of generational failure to resolve those
same issues during the early childhood developmental period
Several years ago I was in a supermarket watching a mother and her child. The
child had wandered from her and was having an enjoyable time playing with
boxes of cereal and pop bottles. This was the equivalent of Disneyland for a
toddler. When it was time to go, the mother took the child by the hand and
began to walk out the door, but the child didn't want to leave. They took two
steps whereupon the child first tried to dig his feet in, then flopped down
on the floor, kicked his feet, held his breath until he turned purple, and
when he could hold his breath no longer he let out an enraged howl of
protest. It didn't change anything and his mother had to drag and carry him
out the door. He was angry and he didn't want to hear any explanations. It
was a better lesson in child psychology than is offered in graduate school.
At birth people are little more than collections of needs, desires, and
impulses. They're like that two-year-old. They want to be able to play in the
store or do whatever it is they want to do at the moment regardless of
reality or cost to others. Much of what we want at undeveloped levels of
maturity is clearly impossible. I am told that when I was a year-and-a-half
old I was taken to a circus. The grand finale featured a large group of white
horses trained to cantor around the ring. When it was over I wanted to take
the horses home with us and would not accept explanations that it was
impossible. The howls of protest continued for two hours. That is a normal
part of being that age. It's what mothers call the terrible twos because the
full effect is seen around the age of two. At the age of two a child's radius
of mobility, awareness and interaction is expanded beyond his undeveloped
idea of reality.
Part of the process of growing up is acquiring skills enabling us to meet our
needs. Another part of growing up is learning, through a process of
repetitive frustration followed by rage and tantrums, followed by eventual
acceptance of realistic limits, that we cannot have all our desires and
impulses. Some of this frustration occurs through parental teaching and other
social interaction. Some of it is learned by stubbing toes in the real
physical world. A grandfather trying to teach his grandson how to fly a kite
described to me how the child would get the string tangled up, the kite
wouldn't fly right, the wind would change direction. His grandson would get
angry and then throw the string down and go off to pout. After numerous
frustrations and tantrums the child eventually learned the reality of strings
and kites, and how to fly the kite.
The enraged and kicking child who had to be dragged out of the supermarket
thought it was the most important thing in the world for him to be there
because that was his impulse at the moment. He might need to be pulled out
under protest eight or ten times before he eventually learns there are things
he can't do in the supermarket and there are also times he must leave.
Eventually, he will come to accept this without having tantrums. Eventually,
he will come to accept the objective understanding that each impulse to stay
in the supermarket is not the only and most important thing in the world.
Reality of needing to leave will take precedence over the impulse to stay. He
learns to differentiate what is possible in the real world from what is not
possible in the real world.
If given his way and allowed to stay in there, he might stay there for five
years and still have a temper tantrum when he had to be dragged out. The rage
and tantrums probably would be worse after five years than if you had made
him leave after only an hour because you would be interfering with what had
become an ingrained pattern-set and way of life concurrent with little
developed capacity to accept and deal with reality.
Some people are allowed to stay there. I knew a kid in high school who,
although seventeen years old, was still running around in his back yard with
toy cap pistols shooting at make-believe Indians and boogey-men. There was
nothing organically wrong with his mind. His parents were wealthy and
permissive and had indulged his impulses or desires when he was eight years
old and every year thereafter with the consequence he was still eight years
old emotionally and in terms of reality contact. The eight-year-old's world
had been kept real for him so that he never needed to grow beyond it. If,
when he reached eighteen, somebody finally took away his toy pistols and
cowboy hat, he would have the rage and temper tantrum he should have had
years earlier.
Early childhood development is a series of collisions between impulses or
fantasies and reality--with periodic anger and temper tantrums as protests
against the intrusion of reality and responsibility. With acceptance of
reality, anger and protests diminish. The developing child learns by specific
instances that there are certain things he cannot have and certain things he
cannot do because they conflict with reality, or they conflict with his own
long term benefit, or they conflict with other people's well-being.
Completion of several thousand major temper tantrums and rages is a
prerequisite to acceptance of reality and eventual maturity. Contrary to what
may be heard elsewhere, they are not the end of the world at appropriate
ages. If we go through them while we're young and get them out of the way, we
have a decently developing reality concept by age six or seven and are sound
by age fourteen. On the other hand, we can put developmental rages off, then
lie down on the floor and kick our feet in protest when somebody takes our
play cowboy outfit away from us at age eighteen or nineteen. If the
maturation process is delayed too long, the person never internalizes reality
and is permanently psychologically disabled. At some age there must be a
basic developed psychological structure and internalized reference to reality
or the result is permanent severe psychological debilitation.
I don't know what finally happened to the seventeen-year-old with the toy
cowboy outfit. He probably went off to college a year or so later. It's hard
to imagine how he could have taken his toy cap pistols and cowboy outfit to
the university with him. In the next three years after leaving high school,
he would be expected to become a mature man capable of responsibility and
self support. In order to achieve any level of psychological maturity, he
would be required to emotionally develop twelve or thirteen years within a
two or three year period. That is a clear impossibility in most cases. He may
have become a psychiatric patient somewhere because he had none of the
prerequisites necessary for maturity and entrance into adulthood.
He probably remained harmless, being too profoundly deficient to enter into
society or into transactions with other adult human beings in any significant
manner. Those who are slightly more advanced in maturity than he was are
dangerous and destructive. They enter into society and are representative of
the new type of psychotherapy patients that have been flooding in during the
last 35 years--although most of them do not seek help. They are borderline
psychotics or psychotics who are unable to differentiate fantasy or personal
desires from reality. Some of them have now aged up to 45 or 50 years old and
are still going through the terrible twos. Bill Clinton having temper
tantrums because he is not supposed to be allowed to stick his penis in
strange women's faces or paw the clothes off high school girls in the Oval
Office is a good example of recent trends. One can find no evidence of
organic deficiency, child abuse, deprivation or trauma, but they are hopeless
or nearly hopeless cases. Some of them have good memories and obtain
doctorates from universities on that basis. But, it doesn't change their
immaturity. More than a few of them become psychotherapists, dedicated to
concocting stories of childhood or other trauma to explain the problems of
patients who are like themselves, thereby indirectly excusing themselves from
either admitting their immaturity or undertaking maturation.
On an overall level, the country has seen generations since the mid 1960s of
which a significant proportion operate on very primitive psychological levels
and low levels of maturity. A lack of very important basic mental structure
has become typical in major proportions of the population. This is the
beginning of where to look for major problems affecting American society. It
is a context that large proportions of the American population, particularly
those exhibiting the condition, have attempted to avoid for more than 30
years.
To further understand what has happened, the following psychological
developmental areas must be examined: (Some of what I am about to say is
embarrassing because it sounds terribly old-fashioned. But age has taught me
much of what wise old people were saying 50 years ago was correct.)

1.) Development of social expectations and relationships with others.
2.) Development of disordered relationships with reality.
3.) Development of disordered relationships with fantasy.
4.) Deficient development of self-types.
5.) Development of polarized attitudes in relationships with
parents/authorities/traditions.
6.) The ultimate primacy of a psychotic social psychology.
These areas overlap and interact. They are not classical psychiatric or
developmental categories but are meant only to be an approach to some type of
organizational form for understanding. Some of what is to be said regarding
these areas may be critical and irritating to some readers, reminding them of
criticisms and observations made by parents or others 30 or 35 years ago. As
such, to use the recent vernacular, "It pushes people's buttons"--hitting
people in their psychological sensitivities and memories. It reopens the
generational conflicts of the 1960s and 1970s, awakening memories of the
parental and societal criticism of a generation of youth during that period.
The generational conflict of that period has been settled by the passage of
time. The median age in this country is somewhere around 32 years old. That
has long-since settled the conflict between generations and between differing
generational values characterizing the 1960s and 1970s. The conflict between
generations has been won. Youth will be served. The generations of, and
since, the 60s and 70s, many of whom are now, themselves, over the hill, have
displaced their aging or deceased opposition and have now elected a president
of their own mentality and age group. They have taken over the society and
are left primarily with each other--although they are unaware of it.
The issue, now, has become the psychological condition of several
generations, what those generational members are doing to each other, and
whether at this point we have several generations in this country with whom,
on the average, it may not be possible for anyone, including themselves, to
live with. From this standpoint, it becomes clear that the luxury of evading
serious analysis is no longer possible.
At this point let's examine recent generations and crucial psychological
developmental areas.

Development of Social Expectations and Relationships With Others

In the last 45 to 50 years there has been a permissive approach to
childrearing in America. Children were denied very little and were not told
"no." Parents were supposed to reason and explain to the child, not become
angry with him. If there were anger, it to be expressed in a calm
non-threatening voice that the parent was angry or hurt. Parents were not
expected to lose their temper. Anger and hurt on the part of parents and
others became hazy abstractions which for practical purposes were, or could
be, denied. As a child or teen-ager you didn't make other people angry or
hurt, you caused them to quietly mumble the words angry or hurt then engage
in rational discussion beginning with the assertion they still loved you.
There are a hundred different theories promoting this childrearing approach,
but the problem is that all of them are unsound because they usually either
twist or leave out certain of the most important elements and consequences.
It's not unreasonable to observe that much of this unsoundness is purposeful.
It's a type of psychological snare expressing the resentment and pathology of
the theorizers. And of course the theories are also intellectually cute.
Being cute is important. Regardless of theories to the contrary, under this
system of childrearing, children and teenagers were denied the very important
basic learning experience of finding that the emotions of other people were
real, not abstractions, and that their behavior could hurt or anger others
and that there could be serious repercussions--repercussions for the person
committing the act, not just hypothetical consequences for the other person
who was hurt or angered. Children grew up with a deficient understanding of
the causal relationship between their behavior and the emotional realities
and reactions of others.
This created an interpersonally fearless generation. What difference did it
make if they angered or hurt somebody? Why worry about it. All that was
necessary was to ignore other people while those other people mumbled some wor
ds about anger or hurt. Then they could go ahead and do what they wanted.
There were no repercussions. There was nothing to be concerned about. A
generation didn't need to worry about somebody slapping the tar out of them
if they went around hurting or angering people.
Consequently, for more than 30 years we have had several generations of
teen-agers, young adults, and now what should be adults, but who aren't
adults, many of whom are now middle aged and in the Clinton Age group, an
unfortunate proportion of whom either don't understand their behavior hurts
others or makes others want to knock their block off--or they don't care what
others feel. The emotions of other people are not real to them. They have
developed an inverted mentality under which it is rationalized that it is the
other person's fault for being hurt or angry. Other people are expected to be
unhurtable or unangerable. Graduates of this childrearing approach believe
other people should love them regardless of what they do to other people or
how much pain they cause. If they don't, it's part of a judgmental vast
right-wing conspiracy.
We now have a legacy of 45, and 50 year-old men and women who fearlessly hurt
and destroy people, then they wonder why the other person is hurt or angry.
They will often complain indignantly, saying the hurt or angry person is not
acting like an adult when appropriately hurt or angered. When confronted with
what they're doing, they will parry the confrontation with flippant argument
and psychobabble that is expected to be taken seriously or they become
enraged. They are fearless about it. They will brazen it out. It's a
hunker-up-and-do-what-you-want-to set of generations who learned they could
abuse other people and evade responsibility if they could sit in silent anger
at the consequences.
This has lead to a type of passive-aggressive attitude built upon the passive
non-violence of the 60s. There is the realization that there is not apt to be
direct physical retribution for misanthropy. Such being the case, people have
found it quite possible to commit outrage in personal or public life, then
ignore the immobilized rage of others until other people are worn down.
In the old days, it was the young person's responsibility not to anger or
hurt parents. Young people were taught something called consideration and
respect for parents and for others. This teaching was very important from
three aspects. First, it made children aware that they were not of sole
importance and weaned them away from primitive egocentricity. They learned
that people other than themselves were also important. Second, these were
good lessons in awareness and study of the emotions of others. Third, this
inculcated the basic principle or premise that there were prerequisites to be
fulfilled for successful human relationships--as well as prerequisites
throughout other aspects of life.
It is absolutely true that learning the responsibility not to hurt or anger
others or that learning consideration and respect can be perverted into being
destructive, just as anything else can be perverted into being destructive.
The child who is saddled with pathological parents who are hurt or angered by
everything is going to be severely warped, repressed, and debilitated if
given responsibility for not hurting or angering those parents. Using that
pathological model, some theorists argue that making it a child's
responsibility not to hurt or anger parents necessarily means children are
going to turn out warped. Perhaps in some cases they are making this argument
because they came from that type of family life or in other cases are
attempting to relieve themselves from present responsibility to other people.
Good principles are like good automobiles, they can be destructive in the
hands of pathological people. The best of principles and necessary authority
in the hands of pathological parents, or for that matter in the hands of
anyone who is pathological, is a destructive condition. It isn't fair that
some people have pathological parents who apply necessary and valid
principles destructively and, quite truthfully, there is little that can be
done about it. However, that possibility does not negate the validity of the
principles. It does not negate the necessity for applying them correctly, or
overlook the certainty of debilitating consequences when those principles are
not applied. The principles of the old days were valid and necessary.
In the same fashion, there can be no assurance that outside authorities and
agencies will apply good principles correctly, or that there will be improved
quality control over those who become social theorists or civil authorities
above the quality control over who becomes parents, or that it will result in
fairness. I notice in the news that a local school superintendent was
arrested for soliciting sex with a ten-year-old girl. A famous psychologist
recently being interviewed admitted that most of what he and his colleagues
were saying during the 1960s, when his word was not to be questioned, was
absolutely wrong. That admission has been a little late in coming. These, and
similar instances of pathology or ignorance by outside authorities impacted
upon the condition of children and were not fair.
In the new days, under the urging of liberal, permissive psychologists and
social theorists, parents and others have been exhorted to keep lines of
communication and understanding open, which required subdued nonjudgmental
reaction from parents while children and teen-agers freely experimented with
life to find their true essences free from adult contamination. The "free
from adult contamination" phrase contained an insulting implicit judgment of
adult inferiority which adults were supposed to swallow without showing
anger--an implicit insult that also undermined adult credibility and
authority.
Children were, and still are, supposed to be able to tell parents that
they're sexually active, that they're on drugs, that they're in cults which
serve cyanide Kool-Aid, that the parents are out-of-it dummies, and to
generally wage emotional nuclear warfare on parents while parents serenely
sit understanding and emotionally supporting the children--following the
stern admonishments of liberal psychiatrists, psychologists, and social
theorists, who say that parents are not to interfere because the kids are
really on an experiential quest for truth and self-exploration which will
shortly bear fruit in the form of a fully-actualizing adults free from
hang-ups of previous generations.
One of the basic assumptions inherent in this is an emotional blandness on
the part of parents that is neither healthy or realistic. It has produced a
generation of emotionally immobilized and mauled adults and parents who are
now too old to be of concern anyway.
Nobody asked who is supposed to be emotionally supporting the parents. What
the parents and the rest of the world end up with is jaded, arrogant,
inconsiderate, irresponsible brats who destroy everybody around them and
whose capacity for self-indulgence and self-centeredness develops further as
it is exercised. True to the promise, they haven't had hang-ups--about lying,
about using psychobabble excuses to avoid responsibility, about using cocaine
and other drugs, about hurting other people, or about much of anything else.
They lack conscience and character.
The next step is obvious and has become the social history of the last
several decades. The graduates of this system of childrearing became 15 to 30
years older, demanding that their husbands, wives, children, if there are
any, and lovers be supportive while they are involved in drugs, in sexual
affairs with other people, in still-continuing chaotic infantile experiential
quests for self-exploration, or while they are wasting other people's lives
or destroying the people they are expecting to emotionally support them. They
want to discuss the problem and receive emotional support when the problem is
they are sticking a knife in the somebody they are discussing the problem
with. They want their victims to give them unconditional love, and
psychotherapy to ease their guilt or responsibility. The demand for
understanding, support, and unconditional love has become nearly identical to
a license to practice sadism. In recent periods, particularly in the Clinton
age group, a significant portion of several generations of people, including
married and single, is full of what are for practical purposes sadists who
demand their victims as well as everyone around them become members of their
psychological support group.
The phrase "including married and single" is important here because divorced
and never-married people now make up a far greater proportion of the American
population than at previous periods. Human relationships cannot develop or
survive these patterns.
There is ironic justice in that almost two generations have done the same
thing to each other, have made the same unreasonable and crippling demands of
each other, that they did of parents in the 1960s and 1970s--and have
consequently made a hell out of each other's lives in their marriages and
so-called "relationships" which fall to pieces. The divorce rate has been
catastrophic under adherents to the 60s value system.
The last several years have seen development of the Tough Love movement in
which parents establish more rigid behavioral limits and place a greater
degree of responsibility on children. However, the movement has come too late
to save several generations and may run into problems because too large a
percentage of people who are now parents--being direct or indirect products
of the 60s and 70s--are deficient themselves, and have no values or sense to
employ in childrearing. The reclaiming of parental authority is useless to
them and their children.

Development of Disordered Relationships with Reality

In addition to the deficiency of emotional understanding, the "rational
discussion" childrearing approach produced three other major consequences.
First, it produced an adversarial contentious mentality. If children could
continue to engage parents in philosophical dialogue, any issue would be
either never resolved or would continue as a debate topic while the child or
teenager continued to do whatever he wanted. If at any time the kid became a
better orator than his parents, that is if he could state his case better,
despite the fact that his case was incorrect, he got to do what he wanted
while the parents were demoted to little more than whining children
themselves, pleading with their offspring to grow up.
It subsequently became evident in the 1960s that American society had
developed a generation of young orators who could argue any side of an issue
with the eloquence of a trial lawyer. If truth and objective reality did not
support their argument, concocting endless sociological and psychological
theories would work just as well. The arguing would continue, not until the
truth had been reached, but until parents were worn down and/or the truth had
been successfully avoided, which meant the argument was over and the kids got
their way.
Objective life and objective consequences became relegated to playing a small
importance in determining what should be done or what was permissible. This
was further enhanced by the element that if there were consequences parents
would often pay the bills and bail the kids out, helping to hold reality and
a sense of seriousness even farther away. Argumentation, psychobabble, inane
rationalization and protest became psychologically dominant over conceptions
of reality. This encouraged the belief by a child that he or she could argue
or debate reality out of existence--preparing the ground for eventual later
development of very serious mental disorders. The importance of this
absolutely cannot be overemphasized. It produces delusional adults who
believe they are omnipotent and can argue themselves out of anything.
As a consequence, we now have generations of adults, significant proportions
of whom expect to debate unpleasant reality or realistic unpleasant
consequences out of existence. They can rationalize anything without any
consideration for objective reality. Many of them have become floridly
delusional in the devising of progressively distorted deceptions to escape
basic truth.
Secondly, pseudo-rational discourse dignified and validated offspring's
thinking long before their thinking was developed enough and worth enough to
merit being taken seriously. It encouraged arrogance. This was concisely
illustrated in the early 80s by little eleven or twelve year old Samantha
Smith, who, oblivious of her ignorance and armed with platitudes, felt few
reservations over traveling about the world and directing herself to
undertake the moral and intellectual instruction of world leaders and
everyone else. It was not always so. What follows is part of a lesson from an
old school book, Sanders' Union Fourth Reader, by Charles W. Sanders,
originally written in 1863 and republished in 1875:

LESSON LXXXV.
GETTING THE RIGHT STUFF
J. G. Holland.
"The first great lesson a young man should learn, is, that he knows nothing;
and that the earlier and more thoroughly this lesson is learned, the better
it will be for his peace of mind, and his success in life. A young man bred
at home, and growing up in the light of parental admiration and fraternal
pride, can not readily understand how it is, that every one else can be his
equal in talent and acquisition. If bred in the country, he seeks the life of
the town, he will very early obtain an idea of his insignificance."
"This is a critical period in his history. The result of his reasoning will
decide his fate. If, at this time, he thoroughly comprehend, and in his soul
admit and accept the fact, that he knows nothing and is nothing; if he bow to
the conviction that his mind and his person are but ciphers, and whatever he
is to be, and is to win, must be achieved by hard work, there is abundant
hope of him."
"--Society demands that a young man shall be somebody, not only, but that he
shall prove his right to the title; and it has a right to demand this.
Society will not take this matter upon trust,--at least for a long time; for
it has been cheated too frequently.--"
Notice, incidentally, that this elementary schoolbook is written at a level
of rhetoric beyond that now attained by many college graduates and, even,
many Ph.D's today. If the book were republished today and used, America might
once again have a decently functioning public school system.
A disastrous problem in development of several recent generations is that
they have been protected from the content of that lesson--for that lesson
explains much of the basis of what has gone wrong in recent decades.
By standards of the last 35 years, it is considered harsh and abusive to tell
someone he is in a state of ignorance and that until this state is replaced
by intellectual substance his empty thoughts are not to be viewed as though
they had substance, are not worthy of respect, or not to be treated as though
they had weighty portent in the adult world. However, it is the simple truth.
Knowledge of that now-forbidden truth is designed to accomplish several
things. It is needed to relegate to ignorance the inferior status that it
deserves. It assigns appropriate superior status to accomplishment. It
establishes reasonable standards or procedures by which people may either
attain or be excluded from respect, dignity and leadership. It motivates
people toward attainment of substance. It protects society from suffering the
utterances of fools.
In recent decades pseudo-rational discourse dignified and validated
offspring's thinking long before their thinking was developed enough and
worth enough to merit being taken seriously. It encouraged arrogance. In too
many instances this resulted in thinking capacity that stagnated and never
developed beyond primitive levels-- a supremely confident incapacity combined
with inane argument and arrogance. It encouraged the belief within a
generation that dealing with reality could be successfully avoided by
substituting argument against, and denial of, reality. Parents and other
people would deal with inane evasion as if it had credibility with the result
a young person could immobilize adults and push away reality or
responsibility with childish argumentation which no adult should
realistically have been interested in hearing or should have tolerated.
One example of such babble that began more than twenty-five years ago and
still persists today concerns what have since become known as recreational
drugs. I have heard it as recently as a week ago.
The basic argument is that "we are a drug-based society." People take aspirin
when they don't feel good and take penicillin, which is a drug. Drugs have
become an answer to problems in this society. Therefore, it was, or is,
natural for young people to use drugs. There were, and are, adult drugs and
there are young people's drugs--marijuana, LSD, amphetamines, etc. being
young people's drugs.
The kids who were making this argument 30 or more years ago, didn't believe a
word of it. It was a superficial and transparent fabrication used to
immobilize parents and test the limits of what the kids could get away with.
The parents didn't believe this nonsense. Furthermore, the parents knew the
kids didn't believe this nonsense, but were only using it to bait and
immobilize parents. The kids knew that the parents knew it was hogwash and
the parents knew that the kids knew that the parents knew it was hogwash.
However, under the childrearing and intellectual rules of the 60s and 70s,
adults were required to treat such insincere babble with intellectual
seriousness and credibility while ignoring the fundamental dishonesty. Both
the kids and their alienated older supporters never tired of reminding
parents they were supposed to treat this or other absurdity with intellectual
seriousness. The parents were forced to grit their teeth, dance to the tune,
and treat the kids and their arguments with respect and credibility while
both parents and kids knew it was nonsense. The kids rubbed it in by denying
it was nonsense, denying they knew it was nonsense, denying they understood
the parents counter-arguments, and they mocked parents. The kids got to do
what they wanted to--with the eventual consequence that many of them then
destroyed their lives or died from drug use.
Many of them are in a condition shown by the brilliantly written anti-drug
commercial that appeared on TV several years ago where two long-haired 40
year old men are smoking marijuana in their bedroom. One of them says, "They
claim this stuff is supposed to be bad for you, but look at us. We haven't
changed a bit." The mother of one of them then calls him from downstairs.
Many of them haven't changed or matured from the day they were 15 years old.
They are still using the same arguments and frame of reference. They can't
see it, or see anything wrong with it, from their arrested developmental
state--and even believe they are geniuses. For people not in a similar
condition, tolerating them is a constant imposition beyond the legitimate
boundaries of mature adult patience.
Drugs were and are the least of the problem. This is said in context of
realizing the tens of billions of dollars spent on recreational drugs in this
country each year and the affect it has had on lives and social institutions.
But, far more serious is that there existed, and exists, a mentality that
rationalized and underwrote the obvious foreseeable development of this
situation in the first place. Beginning in the late 80s it finally became
allowable, if not fashionable, to admit the existence of a drug problem in
this country--primarily limited to cocaine with emphasis on crack. That
admission is a late event. Until recently, cocaine was socially
respectable--and it still is in many quarters. The drug problem had existed
in the same proportions and with the same effects for the previous 20 years.
The mentality which was capable of rationalizing development of the drug
disaster and denying it for 25 years is dangerously psychotic and is capable
of rationalizing anything else.
Drugs were and are the least of the problem. The more serious problem was,
and is, that the frequent patterns of denial in pro-drug arguments and other
pathologies of the 60s and 70s became acceptable patterns of thought or
life-patterns. Social and personal desensitization was established toward
employing an obvious denial of reality with impunity while demanding respect
and credibility for both denial and any nonsensical arguments that could be
concocted to contradict reality. In the 60s and 70s it became a reflexively
conspiratorial way of dealing with the adult world and of enabling escape
from maturity and responsibility. As Bill and Hillary Clinton would say, it
depends on what the meaning of "is" is. And when Bill said that, it
reawakened the reflexive defiance in his generation and evoked support for
his demands to be exempt from accountability to the adult world.
The problem is that the people still carrying on rebellion against the adult
world are 25 and 30 years beyond the age when they were to become adults, and
there are increasingly few remnants of mature, responsible adults remaining
in America as the remnants of adult generations have been demographically
displaced by the Clinton age group and mentality. Each year there are fewer
people remaining to represent reality and mature adulthood.
Eventually the thought patterns of the 60s generalized into a method of
refusing to accept any inconvenient aspect of reality. It underwrote
development of pathological oppositional-defiant personality systems both on
the individual level as well as on the level of a widespread generational
characteristic as lies/denial became adopted as a group defense. In creating
an atmosphere acceptant of this pathology, more than a generation of people
ultimately entrapped themselves in several ways.
First, as a generation of youth grew into chronological adulthood, it carried
its created pathology with it, producing a poisonous atmosphere in which
transparent dishonesty and denial were to be treated with dignity, respect,
and credibility. A significant portion of people could not give such denial
up, having become dependent upon it to rationalize past activities as well as
rationalize new, developing "life styles." They were continuing life in the
immature lane which required a steady supply of rationalizations as well as
continued reality denial. Additionally, denial had become habitual and people
had become too emotionally soft to face that which was being denied.
It continued when they were 20 or 25 years older. Time and time again
argumentation from 40 and 45 year old people can be heard which is barely
intelligible, which defies logic, which defies relevance, which is
inconsistent and contradicts reality, and which no adult should tolerate, but
for which credibility and respect is demanded. Within this atmosphere people
could, and still can, manufacture dishonest nonsensical arguments for, and
versions of, sexuality, human relationships, or whatever which are treated
with dignity and respect. One can sit in a room full of liberal single
people, or liberal married people, listening to transparent dishonesty or
ludicrous fabrication in which the person who is dishonest knows it's
transparent dishonesty, in which the person being lied to knows it's
dishonesty and manipulation, and the dishonest person knows the other person
knows, but which is treated with validity and seriousness instead of being
labeled for the fundamental dishonesty and absurdity it is--and the
fundamental disrespect for others that it incorporates. There is often an
exquisite thread of bitter hatred and contempt running through the content of
the arguments.
In blunter language, people are psychologically immobilized and are giving
credibility to dishonest and warped people who should properly be classified
and treated as undesirables by virtue of their being generally nuts or, more
specifically, psychopaths. The American nation has lost its capacity for
responsible or appropriate contempt and indignation. People who once would
have been considered certifiably mental disordered are now being presented as
intellectuals on the TV shows.
Secondly, almost two generations have trapped themselves by granting absurd
arguments that are often little more than nonsensical, unrelated collections
of words--a form of license that is not to be questioned. The most asinine
denial and confabulation must be taken seriously because, by the rules a
generation of youth set up more than three decades ago and which still apply,
it conferred instant license to act out anything--and that means license to
do it immediately. The consequences of the actions and behavior being
rationalized are real and serious. If someone makes an absolutely inane
argument for wife-swapping, for drugs in churches or schools, for "open
marriage," for school curricula graduating people who can't read or
calculate, for revolving-door sexual "relationships" or whatever, it then
constitutes permission and is apt to be aggressively implemented. All of
these arguments have been heard in recent decades and all have been taken
seriously and implemented on significant levels in this country.
In the 60s and 70s it became a form of amusement as part of the "generation
gap" to work this type of pathological reasoning and license on immobilized
and frustrated parents. However, to be married to someone of that mentality
10 or 20 years later, and to find he or she is working it on you instead of
parental figures, is not funny. Two such people working it on each other is a
disaster. It produces massive divorce rates and massive numbers of rootless
children of divorce who have suffered for this nonsense.
Moreover, as people with those pathological reasoning patterns took positions
as teachers in the school and university systems, significant portions of the
educational system have become dedicated to proselytizing the reasoning
process characteristic of a schizophrenic ward. Absurd reasoning, along with
illiteracy, is being passed on to successive generations.
For practical purposes we have an extensive irrational population in this
country who when asked why they want to do something are likely to provide an
answer something like mmurgff pfwjkh or some collection of real words that
make equivalent sense. When told it is not reasonable, they reply with great
indignation, "Yes, it is!" Then do it--to you, or to the marriage you're
trying to save when you're married to such a person and have two small
children, or to the educational system, or to the social system, or to
whatever.
It's difficult enough when someone doesn't believe what he or she is saying
and is attempting to rationalize something or incite outrage. However, when
somebody genuinely believes it, either because they have desensitized their
sense of reality with pathological reasoning, or because they have never
learned any differently, it's an impossible situation. There is no leverage
based on reason in reconciling the situation.
In practice you will not hear mmurgff pfwjkh. There has developed a
pathological alternative word-salad language system incorporating evasive
vague concepts without content, about which more will be said later. For
example you may be told about the necessity for holistic experiential
humanistic dynamic potential development or something similar.
Thirdly, in an acceptance of this thought structure, people have
incapacitated their perception. They have incapacitated their sense of
indignation and also incapacitated the corrective process of labeling and
confronting absurdity for what it is. In the serious adult world before 1960,
much of what is now being commonly heard would have been considered insulting
and would have produced confrontational indignation if not wrath instead of
being acceptable. As it is, the immobilized appropriate anger becomes
inverted into psychological depression or a psychological inversion called
reversal or reaction formation.
Lastly, the growth and prevalence of incoherent denial and allied thought
disorder has produced a sick psychological environment that attempts to
invalidate reality or invalidates valid perception of reality. People are now
under environmental psychological pressure to exchange reality for incoherent
irrationality, and many have lost track of which is which.
In summation, a generation of what are now adults trapped itself into a
pattern of psychotic levels of denial and irrational verbal manipulation
which precludes honest relationships, suppresses valid perceptions, estranges
them from reality, and poisons their psychological environment. Many have
become so accustomed to their pathological processes that they no longer
understand it for what it is. People with that level of dishonesty and
unreality in their mentality cannot carry on healthy interpersonal
relationships.
Concurrent with a detrimental childrearing psychology, several generations
have been insulated from reality-contact, from frustration and from responsibi
lity by an intervening world of entertainment and fantasy. The last figures I
heard were that the average person in this country watches TV seven hours a
day. Some authorities believe it's only five hours a day for adults. For a
developing mind, this period is subtractive from, or substitution for,
interaction with a reality-based physical environment; from acquiring social
discipline, knowledge or skills; and from learning the lessons of reasonable
frustration, discomfort and problem-solving. It displaces the necessary
process of confrontation between childhood fantasy and reality. It displaces
the process of getting resultant temper tantrums out of the way at an early
age and resolving conflicts. It displaces the process of developing necessary
work-habits and life-habits. It reduces the development of tolerance for
boredom. It is a dangerous form of long term entertaining anesthesia from
which a person wakes up having developed no character, having developed no
self-definition or no substance. It's a disastrous deficit in mental
development. The invention of television was the worst thing that could have
happened to this culture. It is suggested that in event of an adversarial
relationship with any foreign nation, we build them free TV stations stocked
with Murphy Brown and old Saturday Night Live re-runs as a matter of
deliberate foreign policy. After a ten year period the mentality of that
nation will have deteriorated to a point where they will be a threat to no
one. In our case the mental deterioration brought on by this atmosphere has
made us a threat to ourselves.
The above detrimental effects of TV, incidentally, are also the more
pronounced effects of smoking pot.
This reference to immediate constant passive entertainment has produced
generations of people who feel they must be in a state of near-climax
constantly or there is something wrong with their lives. They are dependent
upon an external world, rather than themselves, for entertainment. There is a
feeling that life must be easy and immediate. They have little tolerance for
a reasonable amount of adult discomfort or frustration, having never
experienced much of it. This is a difficult person to live with.
More subtle and just as importantly is deficient development of a realistic
internal sense of hardness and structure in the real physical world which
should be an operating premise or frame of reference in a mature
reality-based human being. As an example, I was doing some engineering and
machining work at the university and had a neighbor's sixteen year old son
come over to watch me. Becoming bored, he took a large nail and began beating
on the end of it with a hammer and anvil, watching it flatten out with the
blows. When he picked it up to show me, he burned his fingers. Surprised, he
asked how the nail had become hot. I explained that any metal becomes hot
when it is worked.
When I grew up, where I came from, most boys knew this by the age of six or
seven. TV was late in coming to that section of the country and our earliest
entertainment was experiments of our own devising--interacting with physical
reality. We dug forts, climbed trees, and fell out of trees. Some of our
activity was pounding and prying on various portions of the immediate
physical world, providing us with valuable lessons on the unyielding
characteristics and lawfulness of the physical world. In addition to being
excellent introductory courses in the physical sciences, we learned the
limits and consequences of reality. We unconsciously internalized the law of
cause and effect.
Many people in the last forty years have lived in physical isolation from the
world. Even as adults, they continue to live in cocoons and are physically
and psychologically isolated. I lived near a city, Washington, D. C., where
people live in fantasy/entertainment-filled air-conditioned townhouses
designed to keep out the external world. They travel to work in
air-conditioned cars that are mobile cocoons. They work in offices isolated
from the physical environment. They travel back home in mobile cocoons, and
so forth. They inhabit a predominantly psychological environment isolated
from the intrusion of physical reality. Their conception of reality consists,
for the most part, of pure speculation guided by other people's
speculation--uncontaminated by the outside real world. Many have lost track
of the critical difference between speculation and reality.
The urban environment and childrearing system can be contrasted with that of
farm kids who have substantial serious responsibilities, who live in a real
environment of unyielding cause and effect, who lead a rigorous disciplined
life, and who participate in 4H projects taking a year or more of serious
commitment and provision. They are prepared for real life. They have grit and
substance. This is one of the reasons agricultural colleges such as Iowa
State University have produced so many successful corporation executives.

Development of Disordered Relationships with Fantasy

In grade school, I had a very old science teacher. The heat and
air-conditioning would turn on with a barely audible whurrr and every time it
did she would lecture us on how marvelous it was. I couldn't understand why
she went on about it for so long because, as a ten-year-old, it had always
been that way and it didn't seem marvelous to me.
In the first ten years of the 1900's, there was no electricity to speak of.
People struggled in darkness and isolation. Many of them worked seventy or
eighty hour weeks and the lucky ones plodded down dirt paths in horse-drawn
vehicles.
Life before 1945 was hard, tough, concrete and real. There was a period known
as the Roaring Twenties. The Roaring Twenties are largely a romanticized
myth, having been lived as the Roaring Twenties by relatively few people. The
Roaring Twenties didn't last very long and for ninety percent of the people
who were busy working to make a living, there wasn't much roar. The
depression followed and it lasted a lot longer than the Roaring Twenties.
The point is, except for a few of the very wealthy, anyone with significant
living experience before 1945 spent considerable time struggling with their
back to the wall, dealing with unyielding physical reality and real
unyielding cause and effect. People lived in a real world--a world in which
they were required to take active effort. They were required to sometimes
make mistakes and were required to experience and learn the basic principles
of productivity.
Following a period of technological advance and a resulting economic
affluence never before seen in world history, many of the young in recent
decades were given everything and surrounded by entertainment. The average
young person in recent decades has been passively surrounded by a cocoon of
material goods that kings, princes and princesses could only dream of eighty
years ago and which are now taken for granted. In the evening at teen
hangouts, or around most colleges, one can see young people going up and down
the road in automobiles or vans that are ten or fifteen thousand dollar toys
that parents purchased for their amusement. Even those who either purchased
or partially-purchased them themselves have an economic capacity unknown
until recent times.
The following is very important. In terms of subjective experience, those
automobiles are in their hands as the result of their having wanted them, not
because people in mines and factories had to make them. Today, there are
people who now no longer know what mines and factories are for and don't
think we ought to have them. On the subjective level, it seems as if desire
and fantasy are sufficient to produce a consequent event or condition,
whether it's an automobile or anything else. This omnipotence of desire or
fantasy has become a dangerous unconscious frame of reference among several
generations. It has formed the basis for very serious egocentrically-oriented
psychopathology.
Virtually all the young in recent decades have been, and are, surrounded by
lackeys whose duty is to determine their desires and put it on TV, MTV, in
toy stores, in magazines, in movies, in social organizations, or whatever.
The average young person has spent a large proportion of his formative years
surrounded by fantasy piped in through TV, etc. In recent decades people have
lived in an unnatural synthetic environment of fantasy which has preempted
anything else. A fantasy world is as real as anything most people under the
age of sixteen are required to deal with, and is about as much as they are
capable of accepting after they are sixteen. Many of them either don't know
what is real or not real, or they get to the point where they unconsciously
don't make the distinction. This synthetic psychological environment, instead
of reality, has become the frame of reference that the young, and now the
middle-aged, use to validate their ideas and behavior.
The extent and subtlety of this deficit is hard to overstate, or even hard
for those who don't share that deficit to imagine. People who work with young
children remark how those children believe real automobiles should be able to
fly like the ones in the cartoons and stories on TV. This level of
contradiction with reality is moderately correctable. The word is moderately.
For many years, the developmental psychological environment has been one of a
generalized attenuation of real world interaction with a substitute of
fantasy. The subjective premise that is developed as an internal frame of
reference is an inconsistent psychological environment that is predominantly
a fantasy world where anything is possible instead of a healthy,
closely-defined real world of rigid limitations.
While children are starting out with the misconception that cars should be
able to fly as in the cartoons and stories on TV, teen-agers and young adults
are starting out with the unfortunate and highly pathological misconception
that human relationships should be able to fly and that they should be able
to change channels at will the same way as in Playboy magazine, Hustler
gatefolds, Cosmopolitan magazine, or in movies and TV. Five times a night on
cable TV or at a high percentage of movie theaters, handsome leading men meet
flawlessly beautiful actresses and within minutes they are in bed engaging in
endless earthshaking sex with few complications and few other qualifications.
People are attempting to live these fantasies. The standard in interpersonal
relationships has been the fantasy of sexual indulgence without real or
unpleasant consequences as seen in movies, erotic magazines, and trendy shows
and publications. You can have it all says Helen Gurly Brown of Cosmopolitan
magazine. Many women believe they can. So do many men. It isn't true.
The American psychological environment, developmental and otherwise, is
primarily fantasy, with little corrective influence from reality. In terms of
reality-acceptance and knowledge, we have had the most ignorant generations
of people in history.
American political life incorporates the omnipotence of desire, the
egocentricism and many of the other elements mentioned so far. America has an
extensive electorate of what are, for practical purposes, passive
present-oriented mindless children who voice demands for jobs, demands for
good economic conditions, and demands for whatever else without realistic
consideration for what is required to produce these things, or anything else,
and with little thought to concrete participation.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Robert L. Kocher is the author of "The American Mind in Denial," as well as
many other articles. He is an engineer working in the area of solid-state
physics, and has done graduate study in clinical psychology. His email
address is [EMAIL PROTECTED]
-30-
from The Laissez Faire City Times, Vol 3, No 44, November 15, 1999

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----
Aloha, He'Ping,
Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End

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