-Caveat Lector- http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/topstory/1142576
WJPBR Email News List [EMAIL PROTECTED] Peace at any cost is a Prelude to War! Nov. 22, 2001, 2:39PM A Different Thanksgiving This year, families take time to reflect on holiday's meaning By ROMA KHANNA Copyright 2001 Houston Chronicle Jonathan Shepko thought nothing could pull him away from his job as an investment banker in New York City. He was 24 years old and had every opportunity before him. But after Shepko escaped his World Trade Center office during the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, he found the importance of being near his family in Pearland eclipsing his aspirations for a future on Wall Street. "I had gone up there last January because it was the job I always wanted," Shepko said. "I didn't really know anybody. The attacks really put things into perspective for me." In the days after Sept. 11, Shepko racked up an $800 phone bill trying to feel connected to his family. Eventually, the urge brought him back to Texas, where he has spent recent weeks working from home and deciding if he will make the move permanent. This Thanksgiving, Shepko's sister will return from college in New Mexico, bringing the entire family together for the first time since the attacks. "Thanksgiving will mean a lot more," Shepko said. "It is much more important to get everyone together -- to see my sister. I have talked to her on the phone but she won't be relieved until she can actually see me in person and know that I am OK." With the country at war and fears of terrorism now part of daily life, family and tradition have become more important this Thanksgiving. Runaways are reuniting with their parents; couples are reconciling; and relatives who might normally skip breaking a wishbone together seem to have decided that spending time together is more important than their differences. "People are saying that this Thanksgiving is different," said Dr. Sam Buster, a psychologist who specializes in family therapy. "There is more reflection on the meaning of the event. People are thinking with greater depth about what they are grateful for and are placing more importance on family." For some families, Thanksgiving will be different this year because of the absence of someone who cannot be there. For others the difference will be the presence of someone who has returned, as families try to look past differences and release grudges. "During the holidays, and particularly because of these events, you have some people who say `Gee our differences are not that great. We need to be together as a family,' " Buster said. "After the attacks people thought the world is a crazy place and they were willing to put their differences aside." At the age of 14, Christopher Starks had reached a point where his parents would no longer have him in their home. Starks would take off for days at a time, running the streets and worrying his family, said Roger Moore, Starks' stepfather. "He would leave the house on a Friday and we would not see him until the next week," Moore said. "We reported him missing to the police several times." After months of conflict and failed attempts at discipline, Starks moved into Covenant House, a shelter for runaway Houston youth. Starks, who said he has had trouble adjusting to his mother's new husband, has been in and out of the shelter since this summer trying to catch up on missed school and straighten out his life. Despite their problems, Starks and his family have decided to spend Thanksgiving together this year. "He is still our kid and we love him," Moore said. "With everything going on in the world, you never know what is going to happen the next day or the next minute. It is important to be together as a family, especially for the holiday." So Starks requested a day pass from the shelter, and today was to be the first he has spent with extended family in months. "I can't wait to see my mama and my baby sister," Starks said. "There are problems at home, but I want to be with them for the day." The Texas Runaway Hotline operates a message system that allows families to communicate with their estranged children. Runaways, who often rely on the hot line to contact their families during the holidays, are expected to use it more this season. "Every year at the holidays we received calls from runaways who haven't spoken with their families in a while," said Jay Smith, the hot line program director. "They just want to let their families know they are safe. Things like Sept. 11 or the holidays tend to trigger that thought process." Last year the hot line delivered about 140 messages from runaways to their families, 90 percent of which led to reunions. Smith hopes this year's circumstances will raise that number. Some Houston-area couples seem to be re-evaluating their relationships this holiday season as well. Many who work with couples, from family law judges and lawyers to ministers, have reported an unusually high number of reconciliations since Sept. 11. "Right after the attacks people stayed home, dealt with each other, talked about the tragedy," said John Grubb, a family lawyer. "I am lucky if I have one reconciliation a year, but I have had three in two months." David Wells, associate minister of counseling services at First Baptist Church of Houston, said his parishioners have renewed their commitments to their families. "People have gotten their marriages back in line," Wells said. "There is a peak in interest as people's eyes were opened by terrorism. All of these stories turn people's hearts toward their families, especially near the holidays." *COPYRIGHT NOTICE** In accordance with Title 17 U. S. C. 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