-Caveat Lector- Clinton Reassigns 1/3 of FBI's Drug Investigators I was led down a dark hallway to a back room with only a single light bulb dangling over a worn table. A man entered the room. The shadow cast by the large brimmed hat that he wore concealed the features of his face. He asked, "What can I do ya for?" My heart was pounding as I tried to find the words. "I'm looking for Big John," I sputtered. He cracked a knowing smile. "Oh, Big John. That will cost you." I opened the brown paper bag that I was carrying and pushed a small stack of money across the table. He quickly counted it and then scribbled an address on a piece of paper and told me, "Bring a small pickup truck. When you get there, ask for Louie. Tell him that Rocko sent you. He'll know what to do." Two hours later I was the proud owner of a 5 gallon capacity toilet, an item that is just as illegal to possess as a dime bag of Marijuana. The Clinton Administration's crack down on large capacity toilets has led to a black market boom in contraband potties. It is currently illegal to sell any toilet in the U.S. with a water capacity greater than 1.3 gallons. American consumers, however, hate the toilets and are complaining that 1.3 gallons is not enough for a decent flush. With rumors that low capacity toilets can clog plumbing and cause bathrooms to have a constant odor, consumers are turning to the black market. The FBI estimates that the illegal potty market brings in nearly $500 million dollars a year. This figure has the Clinton Administration worried. In order to protect union jobs at U.S. toilet manufacturing companies, which are subject to the 1.3 gallon restriction, the President has reassigned 1/3 of the FBI's illegal narcotics investigators to 'Toilet Duty'. Vice President Al Gore defended the President's decision in a recent campaign swing through California. Said Gore, "Large capacity toilets pose a greater threat to America than drugs. The President's decision was necessary in order to prevent Americans from flushing the entire planet down the drain." Under Current Federal Law people convicted of illegal potty trafficking face 25 years to life in a Federal Prison. Unless the potty traffickers are members of the FALN they have no hope of clemency or early parole. © 1999 BNN (Bogus News Network - The Nation's Second Leading Source for Misinformation) <http://www.bogusnews.com/> - You may Freely Distribute this story for non-commercial use IF You Include All Copyright Info, the Website Address and the Disclaimer. Disclaimer: This story is totally false not one shred of it is true! It was created for entertainment purposes ONLY. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. ======================= Robert F. Tatman Computer Help Desk Desktop & LAN Services Systems Department Philadelphia Newspapers, Inc. [EMAIL PROTECTED] 215.854.2729 215.854.2788 The contents of this message represent the opinion only of the writer, and may not be construed to indicate the endorsement of Knight-Ridder, Inc.; Philadelphia Newspapers, Inc.; The Philadelphia Inquirer; or the Philadelphia Daily News. "Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
