Olivia Kafetzopoulos had decided to accept the Will of God.
She would humble herself and accept her new station in life, that of
Her Imperial Majesty, the Czarina Olga Nikolayevna. It was time
to prepare for the Coronation. But she had nothing to wear.
She picked up the telephone and called the 800 number for
Neiman-Marcus. She knew that this department store, too, was
controlled by clandestine Luciferian Masons (CLuMs), but she
figured that the Metropolitan would sprinkle some holy water on
her purchases to dispel any evil influences.
The operator asked for her account number and then her
name.
Olivia: "My last name is Kafetzopoulos."
Nieman-Marcus operator: "How do you spell that, ma'am?"
Olivia: "K-a-f-e-t-z-o-p-o-u-l-o-s."
Operator: "OK, J-a-s-e-d-g-o-b-o-u-l-o-f?"
Olivia: "Yes, that's close enough."
Operator: "I'm sorry, ma'am, but that account number belongs
to someone named Kafeyev."
Olivia: "Yes, yes, that's the surname my husband, Nick, goes
by these days. I changed it to Kafetzopoulos, I wanted something
less exotic than Kafeyev."
Operator: "OK, ma'am. How can I help you today?"
Olivia: "I need a formal evening gown for a very special
occasion."
Operator: "Have you checked the catalog at our Web site?"
Olivia: "No. I don't believe in shopping over the Internet. Too
many hackers."
Operator: "Well, I don't know how else I can help you then..."
Olivia became frustrated with this servant of the Beast and
decided to drive to the Neiman-Marcus store down at the Galleria.
She explained her situation to a sales clerk.
Sales clerk: "I don't think we'll have any trouble finding
something attractive for you. You are so pretty. You remind me
of a younger JoBeth Williams."
Olivia: "Oh, thank you, you're so kind. I was thinking of
something with a bit of fur, ermine perhaps. But no red or blue
colors."
Sales clerk: "How about green? It would go so well with your
green-blue eyes."
After about one hour they had gone through many, many
gowns, but Olivia could not make up her mind. That was her
trouble, she could not decide without the help of a friend. She
thought to herself: "I have to come back again with Umm Yahya.
She has such great taste. We can go shopping after tomorrow's
meeting of the Imperial Cabinet."
