-Caveat Lector- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] BNN NEWS PORTLAND, OR - Cicci's, a major U.S. clothing manufacturer has created the first-ever "environmentally friendly" underwear. This underwear features an inner pocket for disposable methane filters. Said Alfredo Cicci, environmental activist and inventor of the disposable methane filter, "Vice-President Gore's Campaign against Methane alerted me to the destructive force of flatulence. I knew something had to be done to stop the gas or the planet would perish." Cicci spent 3 years and 4 million dollars selflessly pursing a way to save the earth. The result of his labor of love is the disposable methane filter. Said Cicci, "The concept was fairly simple. It is similar to putting a filter on an exhaust pipe or smoke stack. We experimented with many different filtering combinations. Our test subjects would load up on beans and then go down to the lab for a 'smog-check'. We wiped out thousands of pairs of underwear before we finally found the right filter." Cicci claims that his disposable methane filter can block 99% of the gas and 50% of the noise associated with human flatulence. An added feature of the disposable methane filter is its ability to save marriages. Said Cicci, "We found that men who wear the disposable methane filter in their underwear are no longer able to gross their wives out by farting in bed and then fluffing the covers." Said one woman, whose husband helped test the filters, "This product is a god-send! There's no more smelly blankets, no more lingering gas in the living room, no more "come here and pull my finger". It's almost like my husband isn't home. I love this underwear!" However, there is down-side to the product. The filter is four inches thick. Test subjects complained that the filter feels baggy. They also complained that when they wore the filter people would point and laugh at them because it looked like they had dropped a load in their pants. Cicci assured BNN that he is planning to release thinner filters by the end of next year. Environmentally friendly underwear should hit the stores in time for the Christmas shopping season. Cicci urges that everyone do their part to save the planet by purchasing this new and exciting product. --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- How has ONElist changed your life? Share your story with us at http://www.onelist.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Beware of what you speak, for indeed the words we speak make shadows of what is to come, and by speaking them we bring them to pass...Taliesin..The Merlin of Britain... DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
