-Caveat Lector- http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2002/112002.asp
PRESIDENT BUSH HAILS PASSAGE OF HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT LEGISLATION FROM THE BACKWARD NATION OF PRAGUE Statement by the President THE PRESIDENT: Good afternoon, and hello from historic, dank, bubonic Prague. Today, the United States Congress has taken an important and bold step towards establishing an Orwellian Utopia by passing legislation to create the Department of Homeland Security. News of this landmark vote, which marks the Republican party's wholehearted embrace of GIGANTIC Government, has been the one bright spot during my otherwise cabbage-scented purgatory here in the Arkansas of Europe. But before anyone starts passing out cigars and federal special interest checks, let me give you an update on the NATO summit. It's been a hectic trip, but Air Force One is stocked with bologna and non-alcoholic brewskies - and we've got the Die Hard trilogy looping on all the TVs. And while it tees me off that I had to haul ass back to this stank-ass continent to fraternize with leaders from Stalin-humping armpits like Baklava, Laverneandshirlia, and the country where Roman lettuce is growed, I bit my lip, stood up in front of the NATO assembly, and read every last word that scrolled across that teleprompter. I must say that Rummy's been enjoying himself though. I can tell because his normally ashen and sallow cheeks are flush with the promise of wholesale bloodshed. He loves wearing a tux, bragging about our $300 billion defense budget, and sneaking up behind inbred diplomats and giving them wedgies so wicked that paté shoots out their noses! In short, we are gracious and humble guests. Makes you wonder why so many of these Euro- pansies are scared of the good ol' Nazi-whooping, Soviet-smacking, snail-eater- liberating US of A. I don't know what poet said it, but Europe is the type of guy who would fuck another guy in the ass and not have the common decency to give him a reach-around. I mean, these folks could really learn a thing or two from my Skull & Bones brothers. But let's get back to the good news on Homeland Security. Thanks to the passage of this stunning piece of bureaucratic largesse, The GOP will forever be able to claim that it was our happy cash- inheriting few, our merry band of royal brothers, who saved America from terrorism. Indeed - history will show that the Democrats were forever willing to sell our proud nation down the tubes to a crazed pack of religious fundamentalist Islamoids. And so today, I want to assure the American people that the passage of the Homeland Security Bill is only the beginning. Soon, it will be enacted, and thereby not only fill the coffers of my campaign contributors in the Aerospace Defense industry, but also officially change the letterhead of agencies like the Coast Card, INS, and Secret Service to "Department of Homeland Security." As for whether or not it will actually work, I have Dick, General Ridge, and Condi thinking up some way to spin the numbers so it looks effectual. That's their job. I delegated it to them. Dubya out. » E-MAIL THIS PAGE TO A FELLOW REPUBLICAN « ### << back career opportunities | privacy policy | accessibility | links | reader mail | link to whitehouse.org | web team ©2001-2002 - a chickenhead productions parody <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/";>www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substance—not soap-boxing—please! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory'—with its many half-truths, mis- directions and outright frauds—is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRLgives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html <A HREF="http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html";>Archives of [EMAIL PROTECTED]</A> http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ <A HREF="http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/";>ctrl</A> ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
