Some of the "Safe Cabin" conversations were a little uncomfortable,
that got me thinking about community and sustainability. So, i went
back and looked at some of the posts plus got some books on
communication. The question of interest was: what is a sustainable
response to issues that are not easily resolved.
Here are some of the things i've tried in the past:
1. Leave the community (leave the list)
This moves away from the problem, it fails when we are
part of the problem and carry it with us. Also, perfect
communities do not exist, so moving one runs the risk
of never fitting anywhere.
2. Apply more logic to the problem.
This works sometimes and fails once polarization and
feelings get high.
3. Share more feelings about the issue.
This also works at times and fails if the feelings are
not easily shared or understood.
4. Prepare for war. (personal attack and defense)
This is a very common response and is sometimes difficult
to detect. Little things like grouping the people and
dividing them into camps starts this process. Or stating
what another person said as if one knows for sure what
they intended. I think this is to be avoided, it may work
by intimidation sometimes, but that doesn't fit my image of
sustainability.
5. Tolerate other viewpoints. This works if others also agree
to be tolerant. This is my favorite response to communication
difficulties.
A new book published this year "Difficult Conservations" had a
viewpoint i find comfortable. It did not talk about group
problem solving or imposing an arbitrator to find solutions.
Instead it suggested we view communication as our responsibility
and proposed the following steps:
1. Understand what happened. Look at our emotions.
Look at our position on the issue.
2. Ask what is the purpose of this conservation, then
decide if it is important.
3. In future conversations put in both viewpoints to
acknowledge they exist. But don't put words in
others mouths. Example: don't say "you said..."
4. Explore the issue
5. Look for ways to continue the communication.
Those steps look useful, but i still like the idea of
separating the issue from the person. In other words
try to find the issue and talk about it. In any case
communication, community, and sustainability all appear
to be ongoing processes that are closely intertwined.
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Jeff Owens ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) Zone 7, http://www.teleport.com/~kowens
Underground house, solar energy, reduced consumption, no TV
