I'm doing some research for a book. Perhaps people here would have stories to contribute.
I'm looking for stories that illustrate the presence of the non-changing self. For example, I had a coworker who said, upon hearing a cancer diagnosis, that she felt as if the news was being told to someone else, and that she was apart from the news, listening in. That was her non-changing self, which is nothing other than awareness, realizing its separateness from her body. The most common illustration of the presence of a non-changing self is the persistent awareness of I-ness that sticks with us as we change and age. One hears people say all the time, "Here I am 50 (or 60 or 70) years old, but inside I feel no different than I did at 20." What I'd really like to identify are actions that arise from the non-changing self. For example, I've noticed I act more efficiently when I'm present in the moment, which has the effect of centering me in the non-changing self. I imagine that's what athletes talk about when they talk about playing "in the zone." I'd like to hear more experiences of people acting in the zone, whether they're building a spreadsheet or teaching a class or playing a sport. I would hypothesize that heroic and selfless actions arise from the non-changing self, as opposed to the changing self. Perhaps some people in your network can describe an action that would qualify as heroic or selfless, and contrast it with actions that clearly arose from the changing self. By "changing self," I'm referring to what we commonly call the ego or identity. I'd also like to hear experiences that illustrate the voracious nature of the changing self. For example, every now and then I'll say something that's gratuitously self-serving. I'll realize right away I only spoke to to feed my ego. Maybe some of your friends have funny or embarrassing stories that illustrate specific instances of the changing self seeking sustenance. The book I'm developing is under the working title of "Your Two Selves." It'll contain experiences that illustrate the different flavors of action that result from the two selves: the changing self, which acts to nourish itself, and the non-changing self, which acts - when it does act - to do what needs to be done. I'd like to write the book in the style such Malcolm Gladwell books as The Tipping Point and Blink: interesting narratives supplemented by a little scientific research, all to the purpose of explaining social and cognitive phenomena. My hypothesis is that having two selves explains why human beings are capable of good and evil. On the one hand, we have a changing self that requires continual sustenance such that we'll put others down in order to build ourselves up, and on the other hand, we have a non-changing self that's capable of great feats of heroism, selflessness and achievement. I'm not able to pay for stories. The purpose of the book would be to inspire readers and help people identify these two selves in themselves and society. Interviewees would share their stories to further that goal. I can present tales anonymously if people prefer to protect their identities. Finally, I'll be looking for stories that illustrate the unification or reconciliation of the two selves. For example, an MIU classmate posted at Facebook, "I'm noticing there are two of me." When I asked for a clarification, he replied, "I was feeling that the one I was familiar with was the one in charge and the other one was shiny jewelry that made the first one look great. But that take on it was rubbing me the wrong way after a while. So then I let the quiet one be in charge and let the familiar one relax and just let it be. I'm much happier now." If anyone reading this email can reinforce, refute or otherwise respond to my classmate's experience, I'd love to talk to you! Thanks for reading. -- Patrick Gillam Lyndeborough, New Hampshire mobile (603) 370-0046 (603) 654-6562
