[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
Ok, If I might chime in. I once had a parakeet that lived 15 years. That's a very long time for a parakeet. Well, when he was about eight years of age, his partner died, and I could see him go into a huge depression. So, I decided to get him a new partner. My concern was that if I got him a young, chipper friend, he might get exhausted. When I asked the breeder about that she said that when you pair a young parakeet with an old parakeet it revives them. As it turned out this was very true. He became active, motivated and happy again. I think people are like that too. Often older people become grumpy, quiet loners. Interacting with young people can revive an older person's spirit. This of course, does not mean I think people should disrespect the values of the society within which they find themselves or behave in a predatory manner, it's just an observation of the effect of youth on an older person. When it comes to two adults, their age difference is not really any of my personal business. I have seen many vast age differences in my travels around the world. It's not uncommon at all in Asia. I think the idea that age differences always represents a lack of emotional maturity of the older party, whilst sometimes true, is a very broad generalization. It often appears like the older man is exploiting a younger adult, but on close examination, it can be that the younger female (or male) is using the older person for security. So it's sort of a trade off. When I first saw this behavior, I used to exercise my grandiose and very judgmental American perspective on it, but now I realize that there are many types of culturally-sanctioned diverse relationships that are acceptable around the world. So I tend to keep my nose out of it (unless minors are involved.) I have seen true love with large age differences and that is a wonderful thing indeed!
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, curtisdeltablues curtisdeltablues@ wrote: 60 is the new 40. Spread the word! And 40 is the new 20. So 60 yr olds with 20 yr old ergo, are with people their own age. FWIW, Hunter Tylo of BB (Taylor) nowadays looks awesome. IMO, she looks much better and perhaps even younger than, say, 15 years ago. She's an example of the results of plastic surgery at there best.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
I'm afraid 40 is the just the new 30. And that is with fierce exercise programs. I think 80 is the new 20 to tell you the truth. Some of that youthful, free spirited who gives a F attitude comes back at the end. Judging by the college age kids of woman I have dated I think 20 is the new 15. When I dated younger women from other countries they were much more mature than the home team's young'uns. With helicopter mothers and fathers and every second pre-planned in group activities, today's kids are taking longer to mature. I don't know if it is good or bad but I really notice the effect. When I was a teen we used to put on records and talk about how much the government sucked. Today's teens sit in a room glued to video games while grunting. Even the girls play the games now. No discussion except in BRB abbreviations while texting. Hard to develop much depth of concept with single letters for words, IMO. (I have just become 100 years old which is the new you must have health coverage) Every decade has a perspective that I can access through having friends in each decade. I don't have to bang em all, but I need to break bread and really talk. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Sal Sunshine salsunshine@ wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 7:36 PM, new.morning wrote: curtisdeltablues@ wrote: 60 is the new 40. Spread the word! And 40 is the new 20. So 60 yr olds with 20 yr old ergo, are with people their own age. No, because going on your logic, 20 would be the new...what? 12? Actually that is not my logic at all. And its not even logic, its empirical evidence. The data I have seen indicates that 27 is the new 20. Of course 17 is the new 20, so ... 60 yar olds should not be with the new 20 year olds, but can be with the old 20 year olds who are the new 27 year olds. Come on. Try to keep up. Perhaps for some, 55 is the new 75. :)
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
On Oct 3, 2007, at 12:10 AM, new.morning wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set -- the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. That model does not fit my experience -- certainly doesn't work well with many men -- just look at this list. I think you missed what she's saying New Morn. If you are say, 55, and you're habitually attracted to 25 year olds, it could be because your emotional maturity is closer to that of a 25 year old. In other words, even though you're 55, you have the emotional maturity of a 25 YO. Like attracts like. This formula of course ignores a number of other factors, like really mature 25 YO's. :-) It's a reason some people could be attracted to younger mates.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set -- the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- I thought he was saying that age does *not* correlate with emotional maturity--that an older man who pursues younger women is emotionally immature. The implication in his statement, IMO, was that youngerwomen are less mature than older women. more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. Boy, I don't know how you came up with this-- it doesn't even fit with what you said to start with. See above. That model does not fit my experience -- certainly doesn't work well with many men -- just look at this list. And therefore un-equal age relationships ( ~10 years?) are a kind of parody of emotionally healthy humans. Again what a premise. A mind set that seems consistent with age ghettos -- people of more than 10 years different ages should not interact or congregate. What a sad vision and living of life. I don't think there's any shoulds in what Vaj said. Nor did I say that he said should. I was looking at an extrapolation of what he said. An implication. All the time there are unrealized and unexamined implications to what people say. I did not say, or mean to imply that Vaj had thought through all the implications to what he said. I am quite sure he has not. So I am thinking out loud about them. And I am making an independent point beyond his. If it is true that (which I am suggesting it is not) i) people of different age cohorts have different distinct levels of maturity, ii) older cohorts are generally more mature than younger ones, and that iii) people of not the same cohort should not mingle, there are implications to this. To me, it implies an age segregated society, comprised of with age ghettos. I don't think that is good. But, thankfully, I don't think that the above three listed points, upon which such an extrapolations is based, are valid. But I also seriously doubt that a formula like that would apply across the board. A woman might well be mature beyond her years, for one thing; and for another, emotional-age differences tend to decrease as folks get older. A 50-year-old and a 60-year-old are likely to be much closer in emotional age than a 30-year-old and a 20-year-old, even though the chronological age difference is the same. In any case, I suspect that the biological imperative is much more significant than emotional immaturity in men, generally speaking, as the explanation for why men have traditionally sought mates younger than themselves. The younger the woman, the more children she can bear the man before her menopause; and presumably the man will remain capable of siring offspring more or less indefinitely, until he's so decrepit he can no longer function sexually. Plus which, up to a point, the older the man, the better able he'll be to support and protect the woman and her children while she's busy churning them out and raising them. In other words, that men are attracted to younger women is an evolutionary survival trait. Hmmm, if we put Vaj's theory and the biological imperative together, maybe emotional immaturity in men is also an evolutionary survival trait... Good points. And though you mention only immature men, clearly immaturity is not a isolated to men.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 12:10 AM, new.morning wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set -- the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. That model does not fit my experience -- certainly doesn't work well with many men -- just look at this list. I think you missed what she's saying New Morn. If you are say, 55, and you're habitually attracted to 25 year olds, it could be because your emotional maturity is closer to that of a 25 year old. In other words, even though you're 55, you have the emotional maturity of a 25 YO. Like attracts like. This formula of course ignores a number of other factors, like really mature 25 YO's. :-) It's a reason some people could be attracted to younger mates. I understand the point. And I am sure some immature men seek out immature women. And that this fulfills a need in him. And probably her. It certainly can be one of a number of explanations. And actually, if generalized, this example is consistent with my theme that people will seek out and even dare I say benefit from, finding people of like qualities, levels of skill, maturities, etc. Its just that I don't think these things are very age correlated. And thus, chastising -- which maybe is not implied in your comments -- a 55 yr old for being friends with a 25 year old -- regardless of gender, is not healthy or productive, IMO.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
On Oct 3, 2007, at 10:56 AM, new.morning wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 12:10 AM, new.morning wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set -- the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. That model does not fit my experience -- certainly doesn't work well with many men -- just look at this list. I think you missed what she's saying New Morn. If you are say, 55, and you're habitually attracted to 25 year olds, it could be because your emotional maturity is closer to that of a 25 year old. In other words, even though you're 55, you have the emotional maturity of a 25 YO. Like attracts like. This formula of course ignores a number of other factors, like really mature 25 YO's. :-) It's a reason some people could be attracted to younger mates. I understand the point. And I am sure some immature men seek out immature women. And that this fulfills a need in him. And probably her. It certainly can be one of a number of explanations. And actually, if generalized, this example is consistent with my theme that people will seek out and even dare I say benefit from, finding people of like qualities, levels of skill, maturities, etc. Its just that I don't think these things are very age correlated. And thus, chastising -- which maybe is not implied in your comments -- a 55 yr old for being friends with a 25 year old -- regardless of gender, is not healthy or productive, IMO. I'd be curious what you think of the Half your age plus seven rule then: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Half-your-age-plus-seven-graph.JPG http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
Any 55 year old hetro man who does not find at least some 25 year old women attractive, has a stick so far up his butt, it must be painful even walking to the domes. And vice versa for all age, gender, and gender preference combinations. And heaven forbid someone should actually seek to interact with, talk, with, someone they find attractive. The Shame!!! The Horror!. And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set -- the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- I thought he was saying that age does *not* correlate with emotional maturity--that an older man who pursues younger women is emotionally immature. The implication in his statement, IMO, was that youngerwomen are less mature than older women. Right, which is probably true in most cases, for both men and women. His suggestion is that *lack* of correlation in (some) men accounts for their attraction to younger women whose chronological age *is* correlated to their emotional maturity. more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. Boy, I don't know how you came up with this-- it doesn't even fit with what you said to start with. See above. Yeah, I think you got the second part backwards. Should be a woman 10 years older is more emotionally mature than one 10 years younger. Otherwise your two statements immediately above are contradictory. But I also seriously doubt that a formula like that would apply across the board. A woman might well be mature beyond her years, for one thing; and for another, emotional-age differences tend to decrease as folks get older. A 50-year-old and a 60-year-old are likely to be much closer in emotional age than a 30-year-old and a 20-year-old, even though the chronological age difference is the same. In any case, I suspect that the biological imperative is much more significant than emotional immaturity in men, generally speaking, as the explanation for why men have traditionally sought mates younger than themselves. The younger the woman, the more children she can bear the man before her menopause; and presumably the man will remain capable of siring offspring more or less indefinitely, until he's so decrepit he can no longer function sexually. Plus which, up to a point, the older the man, the better able he'll be to support and protect the woman and her children while she's busy churning them out and raising them. In other words, that men are attracted to younger women is an evolutionary survival trait. Hmmm, if we put Vaj's theory and the biological imperative together, maybe emotional immaturity in men is also an evolutionary survival trait... Good points. And though you mention only immature men, clearly immaturity is not a isolated to men. That was the issue here, i.e., a theory for why (some) men are attracted to younger women. It may be why some women are attracted to younger men as well, possibly for a similar reason, but that wasn't what we were discussing, so I didn't mention it.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
On Oct 3, 2007, at 11:10 AM, new.morning wrote: Any 55 year old hetro man who does not find at least some 25 year old women attractive, has a stick so far up his butt, it must be painful even walking to the domes. Well you can find them attractive, but it doesn't mean you'd want to enter into a sexual and intimate emotional relationship with them. And vice versa for all age, gender, and gender preference combinations. And heaven forbid someone should actually seek to interact with, talk, with, someone they find attractive. The Shame!!! The Horror!. Why would one want to limit interaction based on age? And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while. A friend of mine who will only date younger, beautiful women claims that older women have too much ama (bio-physical toxins)! He would absolutely refuse to have sex or kiss anyone with too much ama.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend jstein@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning no_reply@ wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set - - the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- I thought he was saying that age does *not* correlate with emotional maturity--that an older man who pursues younger women is emotionally immature. The implication in his statement, IMO, was that youngerwomen are less mature than older women. Right, which is probably true in most cases, for both men and women. His suggestion is that *lack* of correlation in (some) men accounts for their attraction to younger women whose chronological age *is* correlated to their emotional maturity. more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. Boy, I don't know how you came up with this-- it doesn't even fit with what you said to start with. See above. Yeah, I think you got the second part backwards. Should be a woman 10 years older is more emotionally mature than one 10 years younger. Otherwise your two statements immediately above are contradictory. But I also seriously doubt that a formula like that would apply across the board. A woman might well be mature beyond her years, for one thing; and for another, emotional-age differences tend to decrease as folks get older. A 50-year-old and a 60-year-old are likely to be much closer in emotional age than a 30-year-old and a 20-year-old, even though the chronological age difference is the same. In any case, I suspect that the biological imperative is much more significant than emotional immaturity in men, generally speaking, as the explanation for why men have traditionally sought mates younger than themselves. The younger the woman, the more children she can bear the man before her menopause; and presumably the man will remain capable of siring offspring more or less indefinitely, until he's so decrepit he can no longer function sexually. Plus which, up to a point, the older the man, the better able he'll be to support and protect the woman and her children while she's busy churning them out and raising them. In other words, that men are attracted to younger women is an evolutionary survival trait. Hmmm, if we put Vaj's theory and the biological imperative together, maybe emotional immaturity in men is also an evolutionary survival trait... Good points. And though you mention only immature men, clearly immaturity is not a isolated to men. That was the issue here, i.e., a theory for why (some) men are attracted to younger women. It may be why some women are attracted to younger men as well, possibly for a similar reason, but that wasn't what we were discussing, so I didn't mention it. I apologize in advance for interjecting my reality in the midst of so much theory, but my experience is that my first wife is two years older than I am, and my second is seven years older... I also find younger women attractive, but I tend to enjoy complexity and wisdom more than youth in my relationships, and the younger ones just don't have the life experience and reflection to keep up. No dis on them, but not attracted enough to the relative youthfulness to consider a life partner as a result. Of course this whole thread was spawned by Turq's experience in a bar, which is quite a ways apart from consideration of a life partner.:-)
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
new.morning wrote: snip Edg said, if I understood him, that a 40 yer old has nothing to offer a 25 year old, And vice versa. Holy horse shit man! What a odd view of life. Edg: I don't think I said that, and I sure don't believe that. Adults with kids? -- win/win. All the generations at a family pot luck? -- pure gold. Letting your 21 year old daughter go alone to a Playboy Club without her knowing the ways of men? -- 100% chance of her being abused, tricked, lied to, and much worse. The 21 year old will be insulted if you forbid her going there, cuz, Im an adult now, but at 21, she's almost certain to not have had the hard knocks to give her the armor to ward off the kinds of attacks men can come up with. We are angry when we hear about an adult having sex with a minor -- why? Cuz we know the minor is at risk ALWAYS when an adult has a self serving agenda. But don't miss the fact that at any age, one can be mere child's play to a predator. Consider the power of lies. Consider that priests are able to get so many alter boys to have sex with them -- despite the fact that the boys are in a religious setting where sex is definitely not seen, spoken about, or espoused -- except the usual: it's okay after marriage. Consider it. These priests are able to rape the boys and do this despite heavy anti-sex brain washing of the boys' minds by the church dogma. The concept here is that an adult can be so devious and the child is so innocent that the child never has a chance to deflect a well planned attack from an adult predator. Well, take the next step. A man who's 20 years older is worldly enough to know that to have sex with a young woman, all that's required is the proper set of lies and not much else. Google it. Guess how many women -- very mature, experienced women -- get ripped off by those serial-huckster types who do whatever it takes to get a woman's confidence, and the next thing you know, her money's gone. It's, again, child's play if the perpetrator has no qualms about how big the lies are. If my daughter associates with a much older man, she may be educated by his teachings, inspired by his accomplishments, entertained by his well-practiced personality routines, and think that this guy's life should be written up for everyone to admire. There could be no end to the benefits to her, but the very second that his hand touches her shoulder or he gets close enough to smell her hair, I would want an alarm bell to ring inside her head, and I'd want her to immediately and directly confront the invasion of her personal space by the man. It should not be brushed aside by the man as nothing sexual -- not in today's PC-correctness world. If a man is unwilling to admit what kinds of thoughts his libido is generating, and if he's unwilling to examine the power they have over his rationalizations when a sweet young thing enters the room, then he is not fit to be trusted around such women. The power of women's allure to men is renown; the derision that all the world has for the dog-lust randiness of men is seen in the most ancient writings, and if these two concepts are missing from the mindfulness of either my daughter or the older man, then sex may happen even if neither party planned it. A 21 year old woman has no idea just how powerfully wonderful an older man can seem to be compared to the kiddie-brains of boys her age. It may seem like true love to her when she processes all the inspirational feelings that being in the presence of anyone of accomplishment can arouse. True love is not about infatuation, but the sheer difficulty to tell the difference between the two is legendary. Hence, the time honored controls that parents put upon their children. And what about birds of a feather? A 40 year old guy should be mostly hanging around with other 40 year olds who can see him for what he is with the same wisdom from years of life. If he's hanging with young girls, sorry, but as much as they might all be win-winning, if he's having sex or is willing to have sex with them, he's a predator who's trying to target outside his age range in order to more easily score with those who cannot judge his true value. He's a pedophile-esque hunter -- creepy. I have four kids. I know what it's like to meet their friends and see where their generation's heads are at. I have been FORCED to learn the new jargons, memorize the names of teenyboppers, rappers, and pantyless sluts amuck in public, and I've learned to be able to keep my mouth shut when they're all into something, well, childish. My 30 year old kids are still children in so many ways, and I love that about them, but I will not allow their innocence's beauty to obscure their vulnerabilities. I warn and warn and warn them -- it takes a lot of attending to be mature enough to meet life's risks. If you want to be with much younger people than you, chances are good you're in denial about something in your psychology. Yeah,
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 11:10 AM, new.morning wrote: snip And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while. A friend of mine who will only date younger, beautiful women claims that older women have too much ama (bio-physical toxins)! He would absolutely refuse to have sex or kiss anyone with too much ama. Y'all need to read up on the Crone. Hers is a much more powerful, much more profound energy than most men can deal with. It's no wonder your friend finds her terrifying. That's why the patriarchal culture repressed and demeaned her; but lately she's being reclaimed.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
Y'all need to read up on the Crone. Hers is a much more powerful, much more profound energy than most men can deal with. It's no wonder your friend finds her terrifying. That's why the patriarchal culture repressed and demeaned her; but lately she's being reclaimed. 60 is the new 40. Spread the word! --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, authfriend [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 11:10 AM, new.morning wrote: snip And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while. A friend of mine who will only date younger, beautiful women claims that older women have too much ama (bio-physical toxins)! He would absolutely refuse to have sex or kiss anyone with too much ama. Y'all need to read up on the Crone. Hers is a much more powerful, much more profound energy than most men can deal with. It's no wonder your friend finds her terrifying. That's why the patriarchal culture repressed and demeaned her; but lately she's being reclaimed.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
On Oct 3, 2007, at 12:26 PM, authfriend wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 11:10 AM, new.morning wrote: snip And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while. A friend of mine who will only date younger, beautiful women claims that older women have too much ama (bio-physical toxins)! He would absolutely refuse to have sex or kiss anyone with too much ama. Y'all need to read up on the Crone. Hers is a much more powerful, much more profound energy than most men can deal with. It's no wonder your friend finds her terrifying. That's why the patriarchal culture repressed and demeaned her; but lately she's being reclaimed. Actually, it's something I am quite familiar with. It's not unusual nowadays to see women undergo a croning ritual in celebration of menopause and their new station.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
snip And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while. I'm afraid it's the pheromones that increase your levels of oxytocin, testosterone and stuff. :)
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
Comment below: ** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: new.morning wrote: snip Edg said, if I understood him, that a 40 yer old has nothing to offer a 25 year old, And vice versa. Holy horse shit man! What a odd view of life. Edg: I don't think I said that, and I sure don't believe that. Adults with kids? -- win/win. All the generations at a family pot luck? -- pure gold. Letting your 21 year old daughter go alone to a Playboy Club without her knowing the ways of men? -- 100% chance of her being abused, tricked, lied to, and much worse. The 21 year old will be insulted if you forbid her going there, cuz, Im an adult now, but at 21, she's almost certain to not have had the hard knocks to give her the armor to ward off the kinds of attacks men can come up with. We are angry when we hear about an adult having sex with a minor -- why? Cuz we know the minor is at risk ALWAYS when an adult has a self serving agenda. But don't miss the fact that at any age, one can be mere child's play to a predator. Consider the power of lies. Consider that priests are able to get so many alter boys to have sex with them -- despite the fact that the boys are in a religious setting where sex is definitely not seen, spoken about, or espoused -- except the usual: it's okay after marriage. Consider it. These priests are able to rape the boys and do this despite heavy anti-sex brain washing of the boys' minds by the church dogma. The concept here is that an adult can be so devious and the child is so innocent that the child never has a chance to deflect a well planned attack from an adult predator. Well, take the next step. A man who's 20 years older is worldly enough to know that to have sex with a young woman, all that's required is the proper set of lies and not much else. Google it. Guess how many women -- very mature, experienced women - - get ripped off by those serial-huckster types who do whatever it takes to get a woman's confidence, and the next thing you know, her money's gone. It's, again, child's play if the perpetrator has no qualms about how big the lies are. If my daughter associates with a much older man, she may be educated by his teachings, inspired by his accomplishments, entertained by his well-practiced personality routines, and think that this guy's life should be written up for everyone to admire. There could be no end to the benefits to her, but the very second that his hand touches her shoulder or he gets close enough to smell her hair, I would want an alarm bell to ring inside her head, and I'd want her to immediately and directly confront the invasion of her personal space by the man. It should not be brushed aside by the man as nothing sexual -- not in today's PC-correctness world. If a man is unwilling to admit what kinds of thoughts his libido is generating, and if he's unwilling to examine the power they have over his rationalizations when a sweet young thing enters the room, then he is not fit to be trusted around such women. The power of women's allure to men is renown; the derision that all the world has for the dog-lust randiness of men is seen in the most ancient writings, and if these two concepts are missing from the mindfulness of either my daughter or the older man, then sex may happen even if neither party planned it. A 21 year old woman has no idea just how powerfully wonderful an older man can seem to be compared to the kiddie-brains of boys her age. It may seem like true love to her when she processes all the inspirational feelings that being in the presence of anyone of accomplishment can arouse. True love is not about infatuation, but the sheer difficulty to tell the difference between the two is legendary. Hence, the time honored controls that parents put upon their children. And what about birds of a feather? A 40 year old guy should be mostly hanging around with other 40 year olds who can see him for what he is with the same wisdom from years of life. If he's hanging with young girls, sorry, but as much as they might all be win-winning, if he's having sex or is willing to have sex with them, he's a predator who's trying to target outside his age range in order to more easily score with those who cannot judge his true value. He's a pedophile-esque hunter -- creepy. I have four kids. I know what it's like to meet their friends and see where their generation's heads are at. I have been FORCED to learn the new jargons, memorize the names of teenyboppers, rappers, and pantyless sluts amuck in public, and I've learned to be able to keep my mouth shut when they're all into something, well, childish. My 30 year old kids are still children in so many ways, and I love that about them, but I will not allow their innocence's beauty to obscure their vulnerabilities. I warn and warn and warn
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Any 55 year old hetro man who does not find at least some 25 year old women attractive, has a stick so far up his butt, it must be painful even walking to the domes. And vice versa for all age, gender, and gender preference combinations. And heaven forbid someone should actually seek to interact with, talk, with, someone they find attractive. The Shame!!! The Horror!. And as a side note, one quality that I find more abundant in 25 year old women, than many older women (and I am sure the same is true of men) -- and there are exceptions, is what I term shakti. This may be a different thing than the shakit talked about here. But there is something, some great energy, that is just radiating, dripping, efussing, sparkling, from some 25 year old women. Its energizing, enjoyable, and fun just to be in their aura for a while. A certain tradition in jyotish states that marriage is not determined by individuals. It is determined by the Supreme Being. Humans can only determine his or her fate in the following areas: 1. Personal efforts and valour, as signified by the 3rd house. 2. Struggle and work, as signified by the 6th house. 3. Career goals, as signified by the 10th house. 4. Personal gains, as signified by the 11th house. Since this house is a house of desire, people tend to include sex experiences in this category, as we can see from this thread. Nonetheless, these experiences do not necessarily relate to marriages.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
You made a very important point maam Judy. During the Zero wave ie before the coming of Agriculture, Women had lot of power including the right to choose her own mate. The coming of the First wave ie Agriculture eroded her rights and relgated her place in society to a secondary status. You said she is being redeemed. Yes, that is the coming of the Third wave. The equality of the Yin-Yang balance of Nature in human society will be Restored. Colour prejudice and Gender prejudice still exist in many parts of the world and they should be removed from the Human culture no matter where they exist. In the past 100 years Memes are driving the human evolution and they are shifting into overdrive. Conversely the influence of genes are becoming less and less. Some scientists even go to the extent of saying that we will eventually reach a point where the influence of genes will be Zero..!! Our relationships with each other is basicaly defined by whether we share the same Memes or Values. Take for example our forum FFL. It nothing but Memes slugging out with each other.!! Coming back to the point, Quality Wholistic education is necessary to bring further refinements to the human civilisation. authfriend [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Date: Wed, 03 Oct 2007 16:26:45 - Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman Y'all need to read up on the Crone. Hers is a much more powerful, much more profound energy than most men can deal with. It's no wonder your friend finds her terrifying. That's why the patriarchal culture repressed and demeaned her; but lately she's being reclaimed. - Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join Yahoo!'s user panel and lay it on us.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
During the Zero wave ie before the coming of Agriculture, Women had lot of power including the right to choose her own mate. Let me guess, this was discussed on the pre-agricultural The View TV show, which, if I remember correctly, was still hosted by Barbara Walters back then. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Jason Spock [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: You made a very important point maam Judy. During the Zero wave ie before the coming of Agriculture, Women had lot of power including the right to choose her own mate. The coming of the First wave ie Agriculture eroded her rights and relgated her place in society to a secondary status. You said she is being redeemed. Yes, that is the coming of the Third wave. The equality of the Yin-Yang balance of Nature in human society will be Restored. Colour prejudice and Gender prejudice still exist in many parts of the world and they should be removed from the Human culture no matter where they exist. In the past 100 years Memes are driving the human evolution and they are shifting into overdrive. Conversely the influence of genes are becoming less and less. Some scientists even go to the extent of saying that we will eventually reach a point where the influence of genes will be Zero..!! Our relationships with each other is basicaly defined by whether we share the same Memes or Values. Take for example our forum FFL. It nothing but Memes slugging out with each other.!! Coming back to the point, Quality Wholistic education is necessary to bring further refinements to the human civilisation. authfriend [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Date: Wed, 03 Oct 2007 16:26:45 - Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman Y'all need to read up on the Crone. Hers is a much more powerful, much more profound energy than most men can deal with. It's no wonder your friend finds her terrifying. That's why the patriarchal culture repressed and demeaned her; but lately she's being reclaimed. - Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join Yahoo!'s user panel and lay it on us.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
In pre-agricultural, hunter-gatherer societies life was so tough and every member of the tribe was valuable. You cannot afford to suppress or Oppress anybody in those circumstances. You are busy most of the time trying to find food. Food was scarce. curtisdeltablues [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Date: Wed, 03 Oct 2007 20:02:52 - Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman Let me guess, this was discussed on the pre-agricultural The View TV show, which, if I remember correctly, was still hosted by Barbara Walters back then. - Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
Marek, Bingo. I like your ideas, and yes, I think I've had some pretty hard knocks that have gotten me into an overly sensitive stance. My sister being marauded was but one exampleand other events have hardened me, because they happened right in front of me, and I failed to protect my loved ones even though I thought I was prepared and had prepared them for the attacks that came. I cannot write about it here without risking my peace of mind for a week -- have to keep this at psychic arm's length, cuz I have no recourse, no way to scrub off the scars from the deep cuts into my family's psyche by outlanders. I did my times in a personal hell railing against the forces of existence, but there's scant profit from in dwelling in that place. All I know is that if I were to be stranded on a desert island with any of the MEN who delivered MY karma to me, despite my beliefs that justice is perfect, I'd take matters in my own hands. Some of these men are pretty tough dudes, but they'd be bleeding and screaming within seconds of hitting the beach, and not a one of them would see the next day's light. These guys you see jumping the courtroom railing to get at the murderer of their loved one, just to get on fist in a smug face, that would be me. Death penalty? Too good. Way too good. If my heart is to feel that justice has been done, some of these MEN should be tortured for years with a host of doctors keeping them alive for the next day's torture. Only my faith in divine justice keeps me from going down a long dark road to my own doom. Only that constrains me from exacting revenge in this world, in this lifetime. They'll get what's coming, and it'll be over lifetimes -- their spiritual bones will be ground to dust. I'm not as broken as the above might indicate. I go on with life and try for all the pleasures, keep reading, keep writing, keep my mind off the darkness as much as possible. I laugh every day, I sing every day, I greet every day. But sore, raw, flaming red scars will still be pulsing on my deathbed. Hug your kids, hug your lovers, hug all that is precious to you and savor the moments while you can. Things can change. Edg Marek Reavis [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Edg, there is some a priori assumption behind the views you express above that, regardless of the the concern and love that obviously inhabits them, nonetheless regards human sexuality as something inherently dangerous and, consequently, requiring all sorts of controls and warning labels, etc. In my job I sometimes need to get psych evals for my clients regarding their sexual interests; and anytime someone is found guilty of a molestation they have to get a pre-sentence eval to determine the likelihood of re-offending, and that also includes their sexual interests -- the sexual bandwitdth that they are attracted to. All the psychologists and psychiatrists say that for a normal heterosexual male that bandwidth is any female exhibiting secondary sexual characteristics like breasts and wider hips, etc. (i.e., as early as 13 or 14 years old and on up from there). That's the biology of male human beings in the hetero mode. Having two children, both a son and a daughter, both now adults and in stable, long-term relationships, I understand the concerns you've raised, but even during the most tumultuous portions of my childrens' adolescence (and trust me, there were some, and I've got a professional point of view now from which to evaluate them within a broad spectrum of human turmoil) I never felt that either of them needed to be warned about sexuality beyond the obvious and necessary health concerns. We did speak, of course, about the psychology of sexual attraction and the problems with bonding with someone whose overall influence on their lives might not be the best; your own story re your sister's first partner being a poignant example. And, using that same example, I admit that both of them (and me, too) were very lucky that nothing that extreme happened in either of their lives (though, arguably, one did walk pretty close to that edge). Should that have happened perhaps I would share some of your view more viscerally. But it's just that Nature is so profligate with creation and reproduction. The examples you cite are really just variations on the theme. Sex comes with problems, yes, but so does everything else. When is anyone prepared for the problems that come their way? Benefit and bane come packaged together. Lies and deceits are just as often employed in the boardroom and behind the contract as they are in a bar or in the bedroom. Women and men, though not the same, are equal in their capacity to do good or to do bad. A woman's heart and a man's are the same in their capacity to love and to their vulnerability to heartbreak. We're all just a bunch of monkeys thrashing it all out with the same underying motivations
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Any 55 year old hetro man who does not find at least some 25 year old women attractive, has a stick so far up his butt, it must be painful even walking to the domes. Congratulations, new. I got about 20 words into Edg's rant and clicked Next. It was just so OLD, at a time when I've been having conversations lately with young people, that I couldn't go any further. I've skipped all the other followups as well, because it was obvious from the first few words that I see in Message view on the Yahoo Web reader that they weren't going to be having any fun, either. But your line above caught my eye and made me cackle, so I decided to read it. Gotta agree. In a way it reminds me of a one-liner quipped by, I think, Roger Ebert about the film The Hunger. He kinda liked the film, but he also classed it as one of his guilty pleasures. The reason was a certain love scene in the film. The way he put it, Anyone -- male or female -- who claims that they don't find the idea of a nude love scene between Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon a little exciting...is dead.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
Edg, I've defended individuals charged with crimes that are despicable beyond measure, and done so zealously and to the very best of my abilities. But if the victim in the crime alleged had been a loved one of mine I would naturally feel what you describe (below). That, too, is human nature. I appreciate that you are so candid with your feelings, particularly so when it's clear that you have suffered so much. It's admirable, also, that despite wounds suffered and endured, you continue to take delight in beauty and love and heartfelt communication. That's an example for me, and I'd hope to emulate it should I ever be as deeply hurt. The idea has been growing in me for awhile and more than ever I would be interested in a Fairfield Life group face-to-face reunion; in Fairfield, of course. Perhaps a long weekend get-together where we can all see what we're all like in the flesh. Anyone interested? Sometime next Spring? If anyone wants to suggest some dates, I'm in. Marek --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Marek, Bingo. I like your ideas, and yes, I think I've had some pretty hard knocks that have gotten me into an overly sensitive stance. My sister being marauded was but one exampleand other events have hardened me, because they happened right in front of me, and I failed to protect my loved ones even though I thought I was prepared and had prepared them for the attacks that came. I cannot write about it here without risking my peace of mind for a week -- have to keep this at psychic arm's length, cuz I have no recourse, no way to scrub off the scars from the deep cuts into my family's psyche by outlanders. I did my times in a personal hell railing against the forces of existence, but there's scant profit from in dwelling in that place. All I know is that if I were to be stranded on a desert island with any of the MEN who delivered MY karma to me, despite my beliefs that justice is perfect, I'd take matters in my own hands. Some of these men are pretty tough dudes, but they'd be bleeding and screaming within seconds of hitting the beach, and not a one of them would see the next day's light. These guys you see jumping the courtroom railing to get at the murderer of their loved one, just to get on fist in a smug face, that would be me. Death penalty? Too good. Way too good. If my heart is to feel that justice has been done, some of these MEN should be tortured for years with a host of doctors keeping them alive for the next day's torture. Only my faith in divine justice keeps me from going down a long dark road to my own doom. Only that constrains me from exacting revenge in this world, in this lifetime. They'll get what's coming, and it'll be over lifetimes -- their spiritual bones will be ground to dust. I'm not as broken as the above might indicate. I go on with life and try for all the pleasures, keep reading, keep writing, keep my mind off the darkness as much as possible. I laugh every day, I sing every day, I greet every day. But sore, raw, flaming red scars will still be pulsing on my deathbed. Hug your kids, hug your lovers, hug all that is precious to you and savor the moments while you can. Things can change. Edg Marek Reavis reavismarek@ wrote: Edg, there is some a priori assumption behind the views you express above that, regardless of the the concern and love that obviously inhabits them, nonetheless regards human sexuality as something inherently dangerous and, consequently, requiring all sorts of controls and warning labels, etc. In my job I sometimes need to get psych evals for my clients regarding their sexual interests; and anytime someone is found guilty of a molestation they have to get a pre-sentence eval to determine the likelihood of re-offending, and that also includes their sexual interests -- the sexual bandwitdth that they are attracted to. All the psychologists and psychiatrists say that for a normal heterosexual male that bandwidth is any female exhibiting secondary sexual characteristics like breasts and wider hips, etc. (i.e., as early as 13 or 14 years old and on up from there). That's the biology of male human beings in the hetero mode. Having two children, both a son and a daughter, both now adults and in stable, long-term relationships, I understand the concerns you've raised, but even during the most tumultuous portions of my childrens' adolescence (and trust me, there were some, and I've got a professional point of view now from which to evaluate them within a broad spectrum of human turmoil) I never felt that either of them needed to be warned about sexuality beyond the obvious and necessary health concerns. We did speak, of course, about the psychology of sexual attraction and the problems with bonding with someone
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, curtisdeltablues [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: 60 is the new 40. Spread the word! And 40 is the new 20. So 60 yr olds with 20 yr old ergo, are with people their own age.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
On Oct 3, 2007, at 7:36 PM, new.morning wrote: [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: 60 is the new 40. Spread the word! And 40 is the new 20. So 60 yr olds with 20 yr old ergo, are with people their own age. No, because going on your logic, 20 would be the new...what? 12? See you in the slammer. Sal
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Sal Sunshine [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: On Oct 3, 2007, at 7:36 PM, new.morning wrote: curtisdeltablues@ wrote: 60 is the new 40. Spread the word! And 40 is the new 20. So 60 yr olds with 20 yr old ergo, are with people their own age. No, because going on your logic, 20 would be the new...what? 12? Actually that is not my logic at all. And its not even logic, its empirical evidence. The data I have seen indicates that 27 is the new 20. Of course 17 is the new 20, so ... 60 yar olds should not be with the new 20 year olds, but can be with the old 20 year olds who are the new 27 year olds. Come on. Try to keep up. Perhaps for some, 55 is the new 75. :)
[FairfieldLife] Re: Marauding Men and the Myth of an Independent Woman
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, new.morning [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj vajranatha@ wrote: My partner has always interestingly 'pined: 'Men who search after younger women are looking for a mate their own emotional age.' In other words you're attracted to someone your own emotional age (as opposed to your biological age). If I understand your point, that is such a strange mind set -- the premise that age correlates with emotional maturity -- I thought he was saying that age does *not* correlate with emotional maturity--that an older man who pursues younger women is emotionally immature. more specifically that a woman 10 years younger is more emotionally mature than one 10 years older. Boy, I don't know how you came up with this-- it doesn't even fit with what you said to start with. That model does not fit my experience -- certainly doesn't work well with many men -- just look at this list. And therefore un-equal age relationships ( ~10 years?) are a kind of parody of emotionally healthy humans. Again what a premise. A mind set that seems consistent with age ghettos -- people of more than 10 years different ages should not interact or congregate. What a sad vision and living of life. I don't think there's any shoulds in what Vaj said. But I also seriously doubt that a formula like that would apply across the board. A woman might well be mature beyond her years, for one thing; and for another, emotional-age differences tend to decrease as folks get older. A 50-year-old and a 60-year-old are likely to be much closer in emotional age than a 30-year-old and a 20-year-old, even though the chronological age difference is the same. In any case, I suspect that the biological imperative is much more significant than emotional immaturity in men, generally speaking, as the explanation for why men have traditionally sought mates younger than themselves. The younger the woman, the more children she can bear the man before her menopause; and presumably the man will remain capable of siring offspring more or less indefinitely, until he's so decrepit he can no longer function sexually. Plus which, up to a point, the older the man, the better able he'll be to support and protect the woman and her children while she's busy churning them out and raising them. In other words, that men are attracted to younger women is an evolutionary survival trait. Hmmm, if we put Vaj's theory and the biological imperative together, maybe emotional immaturity in men is also an evolutionary survival trait...
