[FairfieldLife] Ego distortion: Barry, the living embodiment of the small self

[doctordumbass]

The thing is, Barry, is you don't have to like the fact that I am enlightened 
(established in silence). It doesn't make a whit of difference to either of us. 
You don't have to like the fact that I see you, the really crappy human being 
that you are covered with.
 
I use the word crappy to describe you, because the most enjoyment I see you 
get out of life is making sure others see the world through crap-colored 
glasses, as you do, sometimes tricking them, as you did with Buck, for example. 
Buck has an interesting way of expressing himself, but nothing called for you 
to set him up with the quote, the way you did, remember? Except that it fits 
your agenda – According to Barry, the world is a crappy place.

This, then, feeds the other side of you, your hideous insecurity. When not 
engaged in telling the world how crappy everything is, you are spinning heroic 
tales about yourself. In other words, displaying the sheep-like, predictable 
behavior, of one enslaved by the small self.  On the one hand, you are 
constantly putting and pushing down others, the crappy world, as you 
incessantly describe it. On the other, you are constantly elevating yourself 
publicly, in your stories, in your context, in every way you can; the very 
definition of the small self in action, erecting a phallus to itself.

This is because you have no non-attachment, TB. You spin your mind with coffee, 
dull it with alcohol, distract it with movies, and occasionally take it for a 
dance with other things. But the one thing you cannot, for the life of you, do, 
is find any silence in there. Sure, like anyone else in your circumstances, you 
can sit quietly in a room or garden, mentally masturbating about the quiet, 
your fantasies, and how you will describe them later on. But, again, even the 
peaceful surroundings bring your mind no quiet, within itself.

You have wasted your time with your so called spiritual pursuits. None of them 
have conditioned your mind, beyond the coarseness it frequently displays. None 
of them have conditioned your heart, to love yourself, and perhaps extend that 
to others.

So, you remain in crap consciousness, flinging poo, from your hole in the 
ground, trying to drag the rest of us down to your level -- perversely gleeful, 
when you nearly succeed. I'll just repeat what I said initially; you don't have 
to like the fact that I am enlightened. It doesn't make a whit of difference to 
either of us. You don't have to like the fact that I see you, Barry. That 
doesn't matter either, because this isn't at all about me.
 
Congratulations, it is all about you.

[FairfieldLife] Ego distortion

[doctordumbass]

Someone brought up CC, and how once attained, PC never leaves. It is true, and 
PC also continues to grow and become even more established. 

But if it doesn't, and a person has surrendered to their ego, instead, to serve 
as that foundation, there is one significant difference. A foundation in PC is 
a foundation in silence, whereas a foundation in ego, is a foundation in 
stories. 

In fact, not really a foundation at all, but a continually reinforced set of 
stories that tend to hold the person expressing them, in place, in a fixed 
context. He or she is always the hero of all the stories they tell themselves. 
Can also work with them always being the victim, the point being that identity 
is gained from self-told stories, ego, attachment, vs. pure consciousness.

I was reminded of this reading over TB's comments about himself in relation to 
others. Always the coolest, the hippest, the most spiritual, the most 
discerning, the most successful, the best taste, and the greatest lover, and 
seducer of women (I kinda made the last one up).

He is an excellent example of what I have identified above; stories, stories 
and more stories come out of his mouth, intensely fortifying the fables he has 
been telling himself for decades.

Oddly enough, if one takes the stories in my head and heart route, as a 
foundation for themselves, it becomes increasingly difficult to make any 
spiritual progress, or progress towards liberation. Despite any techniques 
practiced, the stories, and the attachment to them, win out.

So, TB's insights about spiritual life, and even the dynamics of his 
personality, tend to be shallow and self-congratulatory. He loves to make his 
bed, and then indulgently climb in, and cover himself over with warm layer 
after layer of stories.

Funny thing - I often see him as asleep, and yet he believes otherwise, 
dreaming deeply on his soft, luxurious mattresses of attachment.