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F R I E N D S H I P
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Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Hallo semuanya.....I'm back again.
Here are the jokes, enjoy 'em!! B^)
*** Jokes begin ***
source : HASAN HALIM
Pengemis : Pak! Kasihani saya, saya orang bisu.
Bapak : Lho? Orang bisu kok bisa berbicara?
Pengemis : Eh, salah! Orang tuli, Pak!
Bapak : Kok bisa mendengar?
Pengemis : Eh, bukan! Orang buta, Pak!
Bapak : (Sambil mengeluarkan uang receh)Tidak ada duit!!
Pengemis : Itu ada ratusan tiga, Pak!
Bapak : Katanya buta, kok bisa melihat?
Pengemis : Salah lagi. Orang gila, Pak!!
***
source: Joko Imananto
Apa definisi PROVOKATOR ?
(Ada dua kakak-beradik meributkan tentang arti Provokator
yang sedang marak akhir-akhir ini)
P1: PROVOKATOR adalah orang atau sekelompok orang pelaku
pembakar emosi massa untuk tujuan menciptakan kerusuhan.
P2: Bukan! PROVOKATOR adalah seorang ilmuwan...
P1: Kalau itu sih PROFESOR!
P2: Nah kalau PROFESOR ada dalam komputer untuk mengolah data...
P1: Kalau itu sih PROCESSOR!
P2: Nah kalau PROCESSOR adalah pemangsa...
P1: Kalau itu sih PREDATOR!
P2: Nah kalau PREDATOR adalah ngomong didepan orang banyak...
P1: Kalau itu sih PIDATO!
P2: Lho! sudah diganti to?!
P1: (Terdiam dan merenung atas apa yang sudah dibahas)
***
source : Dina
Little Johnny desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas. His
friends were writing letter to Santa Claus, so Johnnie decided to do
them one better.
"Dear Jesus," he wrote. "If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will not
fight with my brother Hank for a year." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no,
Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise. So Johnnie
threw away the letter and wrote anew:
"Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my
vegetables for a year." Then Johnnie thought, Oh, no, that means spinach
and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise. Then Johnnie
had an idea. He threw away the paper and went downstairs to the living
room.
>From the mantel above the fireplace, he grabbed the family's statue of
the Virgin Mary. Taking the statue to the kitchen he wrapped it in
newspapers then stuffed the newspapers into a grocery bag. He took the
package upstairs to his room, opened the closet and placed the whole
works in the farthest, darkest corner. Then he closed the closet door
tightly, took a new sheet of paper and wrote:
"Dear Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."
===
Suatu ketika, Bandung bener2 dalam keadaan panas. Di sebuah bis kota yang
berdesakan, orang2 berkeringat dengan derasnya. Keringat segede jagung pada
keluar.
Tiba-tiba tercium bau yang sangat menyengat, membuat orang2 pada mau muntah.
Seorang laki2 berkata,"Wah, ada yang parfumnya aneh, nih!!"
Seorang laki2 di pojok berkata,"Yang jelas bukan saya. Saya gak pake parfum,
kok!!"
===
A lawyer walks into his client's death row cell and says, "I've got good
news, and bad news for you."
The prisoner says, "Okay. What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that the Governor won't issue a stay of your execution."
"Oh that's terrible. What possibly could be the good news?"
"The good news is that I got your voltage reduced!"
===
Two nuns travelling in a car, late at night. Suddenly Count Dracula
leaps out of a tree and lands on the bonnet! Baring his fangs, snarling,
with red, wild eyes, he was a fearsome sight.
In terror, the nun driving panics. "Quick Sister Mary! Show him your
Cross!" At which her passenger leans out of the window.
"GET OFF THAT BONNET, YOU MISERABLE SON OF A BAT!"
===
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny a child in the kindergarten class, seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side.
I think I'm going to have a wife."
===
[X]
Paulz walks into Dr. Yoodee's office and puts a note on the table in
front of the Doctor. The note says "I can't talk, please help me!"
The doctor thinks for a while and says to Paulz, "Put your penis on the
table here."
Paulz thinks this is a bit weird, but Yoodee is a specialist, so does as
he says.
The doctor takes a rubber mallet and hits Paulz' penis with it as hard
as he can. The man cries in great agony, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Then the doctor says "Good, come again tomorrow and we'll learn B!"
[comment : cruel methode....B^Þ]
===
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says " Who is
this?"
"This is the maid" answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid" said the man.
The woman says "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."
The man says "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
The woman replied "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I
figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid "Listen, would you like to make
$50,000?"
The maid says "What will I have to do?"
The man tells her "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the
witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down. The man hears footsteps and then two
gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What do I do with the
bodies?"
The man says "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers "But we don't have a pool."
A long pause.. and the man says "Is this 832-4821?"
***
source : One of my friend
[X]
Tiga orang cewe dari Indonesia, Amerika dan Jerman sedang asyik berenang di
sungai. Tiba-tiba mereka dikejutkan dengan permukaan sungai yang
menggelegak. Ketakutan, mereka segera keluar dari sungai dan berlari ke arah
jalan raya, tanpa mempedulkan baju mereka.
Cewe dari Amerika berlari seraya menutup payudaranya.
Cewe dari Jerman berusaha menutup kemaluannya.
Cewe dari Indonesia menutup mukanya.
Setelah ketiganya selamat, cewe Jerman dan Amerika bertanya kepada cewe
Indonesia kenapa dia nutup mukanya. Si ce Indonesia njawab,"Walo orang2 liat
payudara dan kemaluanku, mereka gak tau itu milik siapa..."
*** End of Jokes ***
Wassalam,
Haiyaaa...kamsia yah !
Engkoh Fahmi téa lah !
UIN : 1660558
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