=========================== F R I E N D S H I P =========================== Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ---------------------------------------------------------------- Hope all of U enjoy the jokes....!! B^) Especially new members in FS....B^) *** Jokes begin *** source: Dina There was a boy about 8 years old and he wanted to write Jesus a letter so he would get lots of preasents for Christmas. So the little boy gets a pencil and paper and starts to write "Dear Jesus I have been very good this year." And he stops and thinks Well Jesus wont believe that for a second. So he starts again "Dear Jesus I have been pretty good this year." And he stops again and says Well Jesus wont believe that either. So he starts thinking and he went into the living room where his mother kept a statue of the Madonna. He new he wasn't supposed to touch it. His mother warned him not to. So he gets a towel and carefully places it on the floor and he took the Madonna and gently wrapped it in the towel and tied it with ribbon. So the boy starts writing again "Dear Jesus if you ever want to see your mother again......" [commen: budak teu baleg, yeuh!!] === Dodi berhasil memasuki babak akhir dari sebuah kuis untuk mendapatkan hadiah uang Rp. 2 milyar. Babak akhir ini mengijinkan peserta utk memilih topik yg dibahas. Dodi meminta pembawa acara utk menanyakan masalah Sejarah Indonesia (maklum, nilai sejarahnya rata2 9). Ketika malam yg dinantikan tiba, ketika Dodi berjalan di studio disambut dengan meriah oleh para penonton dan suporternya (yg jelas bukan bonek). Dodi sudah menjadi bahan pembicaraan, bahkan majalan mingguan TEMPE (dg slogan Enak Dibacem dan Perlu) menyajikan dalam laporan utamanya. Pemandu kuis, pemeran si Dower, berkata,"Dodi, anda telah memilih topik Sejarah Indonesia sebagai pertanyaan akhir. Jika anda berhasil menjawab ini, maka uang 2 milyar akan anda bawa pulang. Apakah anda siap?" Dodi menganggukan kepala dengan yakin. Dia merasa percaya diri dengan kemampuannya. "Dodi, pertanyaan mengenai sejarah Indonesia ini ada 2 bagian. Anda boleh memilih salah satu diantaranya sebagai pertanyaan pertama. Saya beritahukan kepada anda, salah satu pertanyaan lebih sulit dibandingkan yg lainnya. Apakah anda siap menjawab pertanyaan pertama?" Kini Dodi menjadi gugup. Karena tidak menduga kejadiannya seperti ini, selama beberapa saat dia tercenung dan berpikir. Baginya sejarah Indonesia gampang, tapi dia lebih memilih bermain aman. "Baik, saya akan mengambil pertanyaan yg lebih mudah dulu." Pemandu kuis berkata,"Baik, Dodi. Saya akan bacakan pertanyaan kedua (yg lebih mudah dahulu), baru saya bacakan pertanyaan pertama." Seluruh penonton di studio tercekam..... "Baik, Dodi, ini pertanyaannya,"Dan tahun berapa kejadian itu berlangsung?" [comment: bwa ha ha ha.....] === Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected; said he, "The plane can take out only four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind." They argued with him; the year before the had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard, and the plane was just the same model and capacity as this. Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley where they were, the little plane could not make it, and they crashed in the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied the other Redneck. "I think this is about the same place where the plane crashed last year." === Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. "Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! "Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope along time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, What happened?" His boss looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?" === Children's Property Laws -------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) If I like it, it's mine. 2) If it's in my hand, it's mine. 3) If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4) If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5) If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. 6) If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7) If it looks just like mine, it's mine. 8) If I think it's mine, it's mine. 9) If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine. 10) If it's broken, it's yours === This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in there?" The guy in the Rolls says "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... see?" "Uh huh, yes, that's very nice." Then the man in the Granada says, "You got a fax machine?" "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? It's right here!" "Uh-huh." The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Granada says, "So, do YOU have a double bed in back there?" And the guy in the Rolls says "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here see?!" The light turns and the man in the Granada takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Granada. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Granada are all fogged up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Granada. The man in the Granada finally opens the window a crack and peeks out and the guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?" "Yeah, Yeah, I remember you. What's up?" "Check this out I got a double bed installed in my Rolls." And the man in the Granada says, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT!" [comment: buset mobilnya pake kamar mandi segala. kenapa gak bikin hotel sekalian, yah? he he he] === Windows 2000 (Top 24) -------------------------------------------------------------------- The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. 6. Close your eyes and press escape three times. 7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 10. This is a message from God Gates (at least he thinks he is!): "Rebooting the world. Please log off." 11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN." 12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 14. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N) 15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) 17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 19. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS) 20. User Error: Replace user. 21. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" 22. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due... 23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security? 24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way. *** End of Jokes *** Wassalam, The One of Orang Nggantengs di Bandung si Pahmi téa!! ---------------------------------------------------------------- Friendship MailingList is provided by PT Centrin Utama Maintained by : [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Post a msg : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe : Mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] . BODY : unsubscribe <Mailing List Name> For more information, send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with "HELP" in the BODY of your mail (without quote). ----------------------------------------------------------------
