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F R I E N D S H I P
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Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Hallo....as always, akhir pekan ada jokes....B^)
Sekedar info, koleksi udah diupdate....B^)
*** Jokes begin ***
source: Aris
ANEKDOT PERNIKAHAN
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KALAU SUDAH PUNYA ISTRI (atau Suami)!!
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1) Cinta itu buta, tapi pernikahan adalah alat pembuka mata anda.
<<Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.>>
2) Cara yang paling efektif untuk selalu ingat ulang tahun pasangan anda
adalah dengan melupakannya sekali saja.
<<The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it
once.>>
3) Sebelum kami menikah, saya akan mendapatkan istri saya dalam pelukan.
Tapi sekarang saya mendapatkannya dalam kantong dompet saya.
<<Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now, I catch her in my
pockets.>>
4) Pesan untuk tetap hidup: bagi pasangan penerjun payung: Jangan bertengkar
dengan pasangan anda selagi ia menyiapkan kain parasut anda.
<<Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your
parachute.>>
5) [[Ini main kata ... tidak bisa :-( ...]]
Bagi banyak orang pernikahan adalah sirkus dengan tiga cincin. Yaitu: cicin
pertunangan (engagement-ring), cincin perkawinan (wedding-ring) dan
suffe-ring (kesengsaraan).
<<For a lot of people, marriage is a three-ring circus. You have the
engagement-ring, the wedding-ring, and the suffe-ring.>>
6) Hidup pernikahan bisa menjadi satu hal yang membuat kita frustasi!!
Pada tahun pertama pernikahan, suami berbicara dan istri yang mendengarkan.
Pada tahun kedua, istri berbicara dan suami yang mendengarkan.
Pada tahun ketiga, kedua-duanya berbicara, dan tetangga yang mendengarkan.
<<Married life is very frustrating!!
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. >>
7) Setelah bertengkar, istri berkata kepada suaminya, "Kamu tahu, aku bodoh
sekali mau menikah denganmu." Dan suami menjawab, "Betul, sayang, tapi waktu
itu aku lagi dimabuk cinta, jadi aku tidak tahu."
<<After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when
I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice it.">>
8) Bila seorang suami membukakan pintu mobil untuk istrinya, satu hal kita
tahu: kalau bukan mobilnya yang baru, ya pasti istrinya baru.
<<When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.>>
9) Seorang suami dengan tergesa-gesa pulang ke rumah dan berteriak kepada
istrinya, "Ayo, cepat berkemas, aku memenangkan hadiah lotere!" Istrinya
menanggapi dengan penuh semangat, "Apa yang harus aku bawa, pakaian untuk
musim panas atau dingin?" Suaminya berkata, "Semuanya, kamu dipecat!"
<<A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags.
I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for
cold or warm weather?" He says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!">>
10) Sepasang suami istri pergi ke sumur ajaib untuk mengajukan permintaan.
Suami membungkukkan badan, membuat permintaan lalu melemparkan uang satu sen
ke sumur. Sang istri memutuskan untuk juga membuat permohonan. Tapi ia
membungkuk terlalu ke depan sehingga ia jatuh ke sumur dan mati tenggelam.
Sang suami tercengang sejenak, tapi kemudian tersemyum dan berkata: "Wah...
betul-betul terkabul!"
<<A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really
works!"
11) Dua perkawinanku betul-betul mengecewakan. Istri pertamaku pergi
meninggalkanku, sedangkan istri yang kedua justru tidak mau pergi.
<<Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and
my second one didn't.>>
12) Seorang suami kehilangan kartu kreditnya, tetapi memutuskan untuk tidak
melapor, karena si pencuri menggunakan belanja kartu kredit itu tak lebih
banyak dibandingkan istrinya.
<<A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it,
because the thief was spending less than his wife did.>>
13) Seorang penggemar musik sejati adalah seorang laki-laki yang akan
menempelkan telinganya ke lubang kunci dan mendengarkan nyanyian seorang
wanita cantik yang sedang ada di bak mandi.
<<A true music lover is a man who puts his ear to the key hole to listen to
a beautiful woman singing in the tub.>>
14) Pengalaman adalah sesuatu yang kita dapatkan ketika apa yang kita
inginkan tak terwujud.
<<Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.>>
15) Wanita pengantin baru: Kamu mau makan, sayang?
Pasangannya: Tentu, apa menunya?
Wanita: Menu yang satu adalah "Ya" dan yang lain adalah "Tidak"
<<NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner?
SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices?
NEWLYWED: Yes and no.>>
***
source: Satrio
[bagian susu soda pernah diposting terpisah, dg tokoh berbeda. harap
maklum....B^P]
Pada suatu hari, Kadir (orang Madura asli lho ..) diajak temannya ke
sebuah restoran. seorang pelayan datang memberikan daftar menu makanan,
setelah membaca menu, dengan aksen Maduranya, si Kadir pesan makanan ke
Pelayan.
Kadir : Saya mau pesan "bret jam bret"
si Pelayan nampak mengernyitkan keningnya dan bertanya :
Pelayan : Apa itu bret jam bret pak ?
Kadir : itu lho ..... roti (bread) yang tengahnya dikasih selai (jam)
kemudian ditutup lagi pake roti (bread)
Pelayan : oooooo itu ......., lalu minum nya apa Pak ?
Kadir : saya mau minum susu soda
Pelayan : Pake es atau tidak Pak ?
Dengan nada sengit si Kadir menjawab : Pake goblok, kalau ndak pake khan
jadi " uu oda"
***
source: Dina
The Young Soldier
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Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant
that he didn't have a rifle.
"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just po
int it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."
"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches
it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'".
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom.
Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom.
"Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead.
More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety
Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one
German soldier walking slowly toward him.
"Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety
Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety
Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use.
The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
"Tankety Tank Tank."
[comment: koyok cah cilik aeee....!! X^P]
***
source: Uncle-egg
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to
synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of
faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent
health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you
at services anymore?"
The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I
got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95,
then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've
forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"
[comment: "sableng" juga ni orang....]
*** End of Jokes ***
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Wassalam,
The One of Orang Ngganteng di Bandung
- engKoh Fahmi -
===koleksi file update UNKNOWN===
http://bdg.centrin.net.id/~hamimr/koleksi.htm
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