A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda
stands up to go, the manager shouts, Hey! Where are you going? You just shot
my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!
The panda yells back at
She was so blonde...
She tried to drown a fish.
http://jokesfunny.wordpress.com/
She was so blonde...
If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
She was so blonde...
Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'
http://www.serenitygroup.com/
A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT
GROWING OLD:
Well, crap...
Now I forgot what it was..
***
what is the best punishment for a woman?
give her new clothes
matching her jewelry
and nice cosmetics and then
lock her in a room without a mirror
1
Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
Berth..
2
Sardar tells a girl Come 2 my house at night,
nobody
Will b there... ..
Girl goes at night really nobody
Dear God, Please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer..Amen !!!
See the Webs breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz.
.. . . . . .
George Bush in a School
George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
Bob.
And what is your question, Bob?
I
Once a man goes into an underground hole and starts studying,
Another man asked - What are u doing there.?
Man answered deep study
http://www.jokes-joke.com/2009/07/married-jokes.html
# Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so
don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
# Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the
closet; you 'just don't understand'.
# Women need to cry. And they
If Men Got Pregnant
http://home.att.net/~quotations/funny.html
Maternity leave would last two yearswith full pay.
There would be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
All methods of birth
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two
dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said Why did you put up such a
fight?
To which the man promptly replied I was afraid that you would find the $200
Something Soft and Sweet
Do you love me?
Of course
Then whisper something soft and sweet in my ear
Lemon meringue pie!
http://www.jokes-joke.com/2009/07/funny-blind-man-joke.html
A man has been banned from getting drunk anywhere in England and Wales for the
next seven years after a string of drunk and disorderly offences.
David Peers, who is unemployed, was also ordered not to act abusively,
enter public houses or carry open bottles of alcohol until 2016.The
The following is an ad from a real-life
newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying
to correct the first day's mistake.
MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one
sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who
lives with him cheap.
Two Men and Two Fish, actually.
Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with
two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, Please
help yourself. The other one said Okay, and helped himself to the larger
fish.After a tense silence, the
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