A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted
by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance,
one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me,
Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very
Planning to cash her paycheck, a nurse walks into a bank.
She reaches into her pocket to pull out a pen to sign her check.
Instead of a pen, she finds she has pulled out a rectal thermometer
from the pocket.
She looks at the rectal thermometer in complete shock.
She states in disbelief, “Some
ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"
and with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai
brothel
A man is walking behind his wife and says, "Baby you are so fat now your bum
looks like a washing machine."
The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.
At bed time, the man is asking for sex.
The woman says, "I can't start the washing machine
for such a small load. You'll have to hand wash!"
Aditya,
The slogan is aimed at the general gay population of which sex workers are but
a small percentage.
Manu
A professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his
first-year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to
lighten the mood.
He pointed to a woman in the front row and asked,
"Do you know what your asshole is doing
Oh, OK! Sorrie..!!
:)
On 18 June 2012 11:42, asfan wrote:
> **
>
>
> Aditya,
> This was a "Smilie"!!
>
> --- On *Mon, 18/6/12, Aditya Bondyopadhyay * wrote:
>
> From: Aditya Bondyopadhyay
> Subject: Re: g_b Saturday Smilie
> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups
Aditya,
This was a "Smilie"!!
--- On Mon, 18/6/12, Aditya Bondyopadhyay wrote:
From: Aditya Bondyopadhyay
Subject: Re: g_b Saturday Smilie
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, 18 June, 2012, 1:11 AM
I really really hope that they will wake up one day and realise
I really really hope that they will wake up one day and realise that their
fantastical ideas were divorced from life's realities and that all their
creativity in coining cliched slogans never really made a difference.
How is a male sex worker going to try different positions with the same man
I wo
New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same man instead of
same position with different men.
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub.
Notice at Church:
Do not leave your mobiles, purses, wallets, handbags,
girl-friends UN-ATTENDED
Others may think it is an answer to their prayers.
Three priests were in a railroad station on their way home to Pittsburgh.
Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing
a very tight, skimpy halter top. She made the three priests very nervous, so
they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The
Three people having sex is a -threesome
Two people having sex is a - twosome .
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
I was kidding, all I knew was I read on gb sometime ...
From: asfan
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sun, July 31, 2011 4:21:51 AM
Subject: Re: g_b Saturday Smilie
Soory about that. Perhaps, it was me only!!!
Ah, the ageing grey cells!!!
asfan
--- On
OOps, just found it was Mike Morea.
Sorry about that.
asfan
--- On Sun, 31/7/11, asfan wrote:
From: asfan
Subject: Re: g_b Saturday Smilie
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, 31 July, 2011, 2:51 PM
Soory about that. Perhaps, it was me only!!!
Ah, the ageing grey cells
Soory about that. Perhaps, it was me only!!!
Ah, the ageing grey cells!!!
asfan
--- On Sun, 31/7/11, Mike Morea wrote:
From: Mike Morea
Subject: Re: g_b Saturday Smilie
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, 31 July, 2011, 5:10 AM
Asfan:
You must have liked this joke very
Asfan:
You must have liked this joke very much I believe someone had sent the
same
one just a few weeks back ...
Morea.
From: asfan
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com; gaybom...@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, July 30, 2011 9:54:47 AM
Subject: g_b Saturday
A farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped and saved to send their son
to college.
As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard.
Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns.
Being pleased with his new facial adornment, he had his picture taken and
sent it off to his parents.
On
After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on
the National Health Service, a guy decided to have his next test carried out
while visiting in San Francisco
where the beautiful nurses are more gentle and accommodating.
He lay naked on his side on the table, and the n
One Monday morning the postman is walking through the neighbourhood on his
usual route, delivering the mail.
As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the
driveway.
His wonder was cut short by David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of
empty beer, wine and
Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.
Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"
Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl, Susie. Her braces are too darned sharp."
A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she
walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say “Supersex.”
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she
said, “Supersex.”
He sat silently for a moment or two and finall
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
home drunk he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes
home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two
points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would b
Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting and wanted to
go out and party. He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick
up some young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him. A
little disappointed, Superman "SMS" Spiderman to see if he fan
A Blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners.
The Asian lady behind the counter thanks her,
and says "Come Again".
The Blonde says "No, it's toothpaste this time you nosey bitch"
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The customer was dissatisfied with his pair of tailored trousers and decided to
take them back to the tailor. However, the tailor was out and only his wife
was there at the shop. The customer was rather embarrassed at explaining the
problem to her and said, “This pair of trousers is like the ba
For all of us who are seniors - for all of you who know seniors - and for all
of you who will be seniors..
It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are!
And, speaking of senior moments:
"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office
loudly demanded, wanting t
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for heart surgery. The
operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was
reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his
hand. "We do have to
A group of cowboys were out on the range branding some cattle.
While they were away the new cook saw a sheep tied to a post.
Thinking it was for that night's dinner he slaughtered the sheep,
and cooked it.
That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking and ignoring
the cook.
He pulled one
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked
John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to chec
Larry and Scott wanted to go out drinking, but they only had R2.00
between them.
Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea."
He went to the butcher shop next door and came out with one large
sausage.
Scott said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all".
Larry replied, "Don't worr
I had posted this six years ago but thought the newbies may enjoy it:
A gay man, finally deciding that he could no longer hide his sexuality from
his parents went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen
cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh a
A secretary complained about her boss. She said, "My boss is so sex-crazed". Every time he comes into the office, I must do the LAPTOP position and then the DESKTOP position, followed by the SPREADSHEET format. I must LOAD UP his SOFT DISK into a HARD DISK, so that he can INSERT in my C DRI
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter,who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him amenu."I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Justbring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell itand order from there."A little confused, t
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting ar
Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots. So the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" Cowboy says " Well
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular rea
Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Pearly Gate Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Peter decided to let him in. "Follow me." he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.
Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No,"
Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.
After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a nearby city centre studio for a few week
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet storeowner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution,
The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists --- a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was
"Timbuktu".
First to recite his poe
Please note that with the arrival of new "Drive- through" cash point machines,
customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Male Procedure:
1) Drive up to the cash machine
2) Wind down your car window
3) Insert card
thanx.
asfan
On Sat, 21 May 2005 K-Y Jelly wrote :
asfanhahaha...small wonder Sahil once recommended I read your stuff as
well...both of you guys seem to be on the same wavelength!!
Superb stuff(hey not the one in thta box yukk)
hahahah!!
Jolly good show, mate!!
--
asfanhahaha...small wonder Sahil once recommended I read your stuff as
well...both of you guys seem to be on the same wavelength!!
Superb stuff(hey not the one in thta box yukk)
hahahah!!
Jolly good show, mate!!
asfan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
This guy goes to a grocery store and as
This guy goes to a grocery store and asks the clerk behind the counter for two cans of dog food.
"Do you have a dog?" asked the clerk.
"Yes I do!" replied the puzzled customer.
"I'm sorry sir" said the clerk "but you're going to have prove to me that you have a dog before I can sell you dog
Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odour.
"Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl.
"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible."
"Well," the doctor concluded,
Wife comes home early from her high position office work one day, and finds her husband, in bed with a woman. The wife yells, "That's it, I'm leaving and never coming back again."
Husband pleads, "Please, don't you at least want to hear my side of the story?"
Wife shrugs and says, "Fine, l
A man and his wife were driving to an important convention where the man was scheduled to give the opening remarks. They were passing through a part of Oklahoma when the woman tells her husband that she must stop at the next restroom because she felt her stomach rolling over pretty hard.
Th
Asfan -
That is one of the reasons I was an employer not an employee...for 30+
years...till my retirement in December..
It is so much better if your are an unusual character to have direct
control of your passage through life...instead of trying to support someone
else's dream of passa
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a baseball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as herself, and are really impressed.
After the game they ask her, "How is it that you know so much about baseball?"
She says, "Well, I used to b
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle lying in
the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. The Russian is stunned
and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you
want."
The Russian begins thinking; "Well I really like dri
One doctor husband and his wife are having a fight at breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "and you are no good in bed either" and storms out of the house. After sometime he realises he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie's L
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking when in walks a cowboy who
yell, "Who's white horse is that outside?"
The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns and
says, "It's my horse. Why do you want to know?"
The cowboy looks and him and says, "Well, your
One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that
he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked
what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the
only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep
Reason why I never visit rich people!!
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice
tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you lik
A man went to the doctor who told him he had only 24 hours to live. He went home to
tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would
have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live.
"Of course, Darling!" she replied. And so they had sex.
Four hours la
An American Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male
buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a
tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and
blast
Bill Gates died and found himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. "Well,
Bill, I'm really confused. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in
America, yet you also created that ghastly
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