... quite long but it's nice and worth reading ....


My cellphone's beeping sound woke me up one night.
Used to receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and sleepily pushed the keys and read the message.

"Hi there! Care 2 b my txtmate?" Not knowing who the sender was, I deleted the message right away and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to go back to sleep.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone again.

"Hi there, again! Care 2 b my txtmate?" again, the message said.

"Who the hell could this be asking for a txtmate at the wee hours of the
night?" I asked myself. Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the message.

I was never a 'textmaniac', someone who enjoys texting anyone and everyone
even at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the day. My parents,
who were always out of the country forced me to own a cellphone. They told
me that having one was more convenient they could monitor me even if
they're miles away.

I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of calling me
at night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided not to.

Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamless sleep, the phone beeped again.

Same number? Such determination!

"Pls reply 2 dis msg & b an angel & save me from this abyss of emptiness!!!"
I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and pushed the keys?
I just realized I was replying to the message.

"Im not an angel, n f u want som1 2 save u, m not superman. I'm just a simple person who u wake up at dis r of my nyt!!! Nway, do I know u?" I typed.

Seconds later came the reply.

"Nope. U don't know this lonely soul. Nor does he know u. But I want 2 b ur frnd. I'm Mohit. U?"

"Just call me Julius. How'd u get my no.?" I sent back.

"Hi Julius, nice 2 meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits of mine," she
replied.

That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the
cellphone. We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that night. We only said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00 AM! I had to
prepare for school!

And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without it
loving and thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had learned to appreciate text messages and become eager and excited every time my phone
beeped, hoping it would be her.

Mohit brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I realized
I could also be a romantic person even if it's just through text messaging.

"Keep me as a friend & I will keep u in my heart. Lock it up & throw away the key so that no one can ever take u away from me" One day,he sent this message to me.

I replied: "In life, we seldom find a true prson & if u ever find 1, hold on & never let go, value that person coz it's life's gift worth keeping & holding on"

I never knew why, but his response sent shivers to my spine, " Value the people have touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen they will walk out of ur life & never come back again."

I couldn't understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was sure though ... I could not go on a day without a single word from him. I'd become used to having him, eventhough we had not met personally. But truly, he already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in my life.

I texted him back. "Dont come close if at all ull just pass by; don't touch me if at all ull just let me cry; dont luv me if at all ull just leave me and won't stay"

I didn't know why I sent him that message, but somehow I felt, every word
came from my heart. In the short span of time we were sending messages to
each other, I knew, I was starting to keep him in my heart.

I called him once. The voice on the other end was like an angel's. Soft,
kind, full of love. Yet, there was something in it I couldn't define. We
only talked for a few minutes. Before he hung up, he told me not to call
again. According to him, it would be better if we would just text each other.

But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart, I'd long
to hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but he never answered the
phone. He just kept on sending messages and quotations, which I copied in
a little notebook. Hopeless romantic? I didn't know.
All I could say was that all the messages he sent me were wonderful, they
came from the heart and cut through the heart.

"Though we are miles apart, u are always in my heart. I close my eyes & there u are.Even if I'll see u never, I'll always be here 2 care 4 u,far longer than 4ever"

One December night, he sent me a message. By that time we had been exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy I was. He was right. Although we had not seen each other, what we felt was enough to make us both realize what was keeping us together.

I sent him another message, "Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2 do, hopeing, wondering that u will feel the same way 2, but I can't read ur mind if u luv me 2. But whatever it is, I'll still be loving u."

"How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2 love, scared 2 get hurt. I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray that u will not get tired of loving me? =)" was his reply.

And then I replied again. " The reason y I met u is bcoz of destiny but if destiny will suggest that I'll live w/o u, then, I'll lie not by destiny but of free will."

Whenever I asked him when we would meet personally, he always answered,
"Soon. soon, love. soon."

Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for him. rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was sure, he felt the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow through our lines, between our hearts, which made us go on each day with the thought that sooner, we would see each other, face to face, heart to heart.

Just a few days before Christmas. He stopped sending messages. At first I just though he had ran out of prepaid. but there was something that kept bothering me. I couldn't understand what was it, but it made me fell nervous. I tried to call him but he wouldn't answer.
Nevertheless, I continued sending messages.

Suddenly one night, just three days before our my birthday. I heard my phone's message tone again, at last! It was from him!

"Often times we say good bye to the one we luv without wanting to.
Though that doesn't mean that we stopped loving them or we stopped 2 care.
Sometimes, GOODBYE is a painful way 2 say I LOVE YOU."

I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to think of.
What did he mean? I texted him back, searching for answers, but found
nothing. I called him but he would not answer.

For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable ... desperate ... empty.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose him. I had learned to love
him. And I wanted to be with him forever.

The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that Mohit took the life out of me. I missed him so much ... his messages ...... The tones that would tell me he'd sent another loving message. Nothing around me could feel the emptiness I felt.

Tut...tut...tut...tut...tut... just a day before my B’day, my cell beeped again. It was him!

"Meet me at the café, 10 AM 2day," I read aloud, making sure the message was true, then I jumped with joy upon hearing from him again. Hurriedly, I got
myself ready and I went to the mall. I knew it was still early, but I wanted to be there before he arrived.

I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised to see
him already there, smiling at me. He was very Hansome & beautiful, Black, deep-set eyes that spoke a thousand words; small, kissable lips; a nose perfectly chiseled and  black hair everything in him was adorable. And yes, his
eyes radiated kindness and love but there was a flicker of something in
them ... sadness?

"Hi, Julius," said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each night. The
voice that I had waited to hear for so long. "Please sit down."

"I am very pleased to meet you, Mohit," I said, as I took my seat and
gave the roses I brought for him.

"Thanks, Julius," he smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I knew he
loved pink roses.

"You are always welcome, Love"

"Julius, I can't stay," he said, sadness in her voice, or was it tears? "I really must go."

"But we just met, Mohit. Can't we talk a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly.

"I can't really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. In will never forget you.
You will always be here in my heart." He was looking at me straight into the eyes, and I could really feel the sadness in his voice and I swear, there was something in his voice and I swear there was something in those lovely yet lonely eyes.

He got up and smiled at me, lovingly. "Tomorrow morning, please come and
visit me," he said and gave me a piece of white linen paper.

I read what was written and when I looked up, he was gone.

The following day, my B’day, I woke up early and excitedly readied myself, thinking of him. I hurriedly went to a flower shop and bought a dozen pink roses for Mohit.

They lived in an exclusive subdivision. Upon reaching their house, I told
the guard who I was and that I was looking for Mohit.

The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told me to
wait as he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him while he was going inside the house, only then I noticed that the house was brightly lit.

A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.

"Hi, I'm Maria, Mohit's mother. Please come inside, Julius." While we
were walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why she knew me very
well Mohit had always been talking about his friend, Julius. I hardly understood what she was saying. I was busy thinking why Mohit's mother
was crying while talking to me. As we came near the great hall of the
house, it dawned on me that there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative
passed away, I thought. But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.

As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning while others were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. "Where is Mohit?"

She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin which was surrounded by
flowers pink roses, nothing but pink roses.

No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and saw who was lying there. The same handsome man I met!

A man came beside me, I knew he was Mohit's father.

"We are so glad you came, Julius. Mohit talked of you all the time. He even
asked that his phone be buried with him. He said that in that way, you could still send him messages and you would always be with him."

I couldn't believe everything! My mind was in limbo.

"But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday."

"That can't possibly be. He passed away three days ago. He had been
suffering from a heart disease since he was a child," said his father.

"But...." I couldn't find the words to say.

"He told us not to bother reaching you, "his mother said, still in tears,"
he said you will come, and here you are.

Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently beside him, staring at his lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend's face, a face I knew I
would never forget while I was still alive.

After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel he had told me he went everyday.

Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed: "U
taught me how 2 care; u taught me how 2 b kind; u shwd me how 2 like som1; u
showed me how 2 luv; but there is 1 thing u didnt teach me & it hurts more u didn’t teach me how 2 let go. I LOVE YOU"

I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn't be able to hold her CP
again, I knew in my heart she would get my message. I never expected a
reply, yet as my phone beeped again, I felt a shiver down my spine. The
sender's number did not appear on the screen, and tears rolled down my
cheeks as I read the message.

"Let go of d hand of d person u love, but dont let go of God's hand. For if u hold 2 his hand. He may be holding d person u love in d other hand 2 let u hold
each other again."

"I will never forget you, Mohit and I will never let go" I vowed to him
and to myself as I left the church.


Love isn't something we hold on, it is something we set free. It's not
something we just do, but it's something we don't imagine to be w/o.
Lastly, it's not something we choose? it chooses us.

 

 ~ S A H I L ~


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