g_b Relations !!!!

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 12:05:12 -0700

Relations !!!

One must admit and realizes it sooner or later, that we live just for our realtions.
Imagine yourself in a state where you have all the materialistic things required to live a good life.Money, fame, comfort, job..............

 

What if you have nobody to whom you say that "I feel happy", or " I feel sad" or " Lets go out"....there are so many such verses that you may have inside you, which you can , let it out only to someone very close to you.And if you say that you like to be lonely, u still need someone to say that "you like to be lonely"...

 

I'm not talking about just that group of friends with whom you hang out in the evenings, or may be late at night.I'm talking about that someone very special who can hold your hand when you need it the most and you don't have to speak/ask about that to him.

 

This is where love germinates.
Love , is of course the most talked about and yet less understood emotions of human beings.I'm not here to just add or contradict what others feel or say about it.

Love is very Pure.Thats for sure.It has the power to transform someone for the better of the best.


I would like to just draw your attention towards the kind of love and relations that we enjoy these days.

Doesn't it seems very practical oriented.
Today one partner loves the other to the Purest form and  expects it back.Is it wrong to expect??.
If not then is there a meaning for the same.


Expectations are not defined and never can be.

The Buddha wants to point out certain aspects of expectations.

 

1. To expect that he is just for you and that nothing is hidden from him.This works as a glue to the relation.The best of buddies/friends have the same attitude.

 

2. It takes a lot of effort to make a call to our loved ones and just ask "How r u " .Its for sure that you are not feeling good but , when you expect the answer as " fine" from the other end , then you also start feeling ok.But dear ,it takes much effort to give such a call.And if the

other person doesn't realize it then, one must take care.There's something misssing.

 

3. You have your own worries but never try and let it out all at once , or may be u want to but can't do at one go.Hence you expect that your partner wouldn't mind spending some time with you, read your face and just hold you near.That sets you free, and maybe you don't have any worries now.

 

4. Love strengthens itself with minute details.Like just to expect that both of you would have food together,or at least make the best effort to be together.EFFORT is more important than the RESULT.And one has to appreciate that EFFORT.

 

5. Most importantly , your partner may have many friends, and you expect that you get introduced to that bunch of friends.There's nothing harm in this.Hanging out with them, is another issue.Both of you very well understand this.

 

6. Physical intimacy is least expected.As this is not going to last.Mental peace and comfort is whats expected.

 

7. understand and expect the word "CARE". This four letter word carries the secret of a successful relation. i would like to quote an example..."a child is getting ready for school, and his mom just sees to that he's carrying everything proper for school and is ready from head to toe"
This is care that we take for granted. But as we grow , we still need that care from someone close to us, to observe us from Head to Toe and make us feel right and ready to face the world.Again this takes EFFORT.we really take for granted the effort our mothers have taken during our childhood.But as we grow, that realtion takes a new turn , into responsibility and the CARE needs to be defined more finely.This is where that SOMEONE comes into our life.

 

There are many...., and the buddha feels that these expectations have to be there and should be fulfilled , if you are into  a realtion, any kind, Love or Friendship.

Its like if you are living , you are Breathing IN and OUT.Same way if you are into relation then expectations of each other has to be fulfilled.These expectations are very basic details which could be understood , and even talked about. If they could be conveyed then there's nothing better than that.Such a relation would be GOds Gift.


Its very simple to expect , but very hard to fulfill those expectations.All my friends out there, who have loved,or have been heart-broken, very well understand these words CARE, RESPECT, COMFORT.

And those who are planning to , they have to do their Homework very well.

AS The Buddha says. Its easy to get into love, very difficult to love, and most difficult to get out of it, if the other person turns indifferent to you, for whatever reason might be.

 

You'll keep questioning yourself and you'll never get an answer.

Either you end up hating him, or you start hurting your sentiments, if you can't hate.So its like, you lose at both ends.Of course, a heart that loves someone cannot hate them.Else it wasn't love at all.


Gear yourself properly to play this game of love (thats what its become nowadays)

Remember, expect, and if you don't get a feedbcak, talk it over and decide early...
You have a right to decide, and lead a good life, but not at others mercy.
Being able to love with all its difficulties is one of the best and rarest qualities one can have.It makes the gem of a person.So if you love someone,and got back his love in return, then my dear friend , thank GOD and praise HIM for making you fulfill your life.


And if you love someone but got indifference from the other side, and you forgive (of course u can't forget) him , and importantly keep that love within you , undisturbed, then you are the rarest of the GEMS that Human race has ever produced.
Be proud of that, because , i repeat, its very difficult to love, and you have done that job to its best.

 

Take Care
The Buddha Speaks


 

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