"Frederick \"FN\" Noronha" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Many of us may have decided on our own marriage > partners, but I for > one would certainly not look down on 'proposal' > marriages. In one case, you fall in love first and > then get married, while you do it the other way > around in the other case!
FN, I suppose its possible to fall in love with someone a third party has chosen for you. My question is, what if your partner does not fall in love with you? And exactly what happens when s/he dislikes every aspect of the person who was chosen to be her partner? > It's just a different way of doing things. Let's > eschew the temptation to look down on a form that > we might not follow. Perhaps I am looking down on the method. I find it incredulous that its going on today. Discussing it here will help open the eyes of some. The last time this was discussed, Cecil Pinto pointed out that in India, the son often continues living in his parents house after marriage. That's why they want to have a say in who the partner is (perhaps a timid women for the house?). It must be really sad for the bride. Not only is she marrying a stranger, she also is, essentially, marrying an entire family. Only one person in her new home has to dislike her and life can become hell. > When Mervyn talks of only marring someone who was > "chosen/okayed by their parents", is he being > accurate? Even in a love marriage, the > parental approval is one of the factors (even if not > such an important factor). I think a good parent has to "educate" his child until s/he is mature. Once the child has matured and found a partner, the parents job is to respect the off-springs choice. IMHO, a real man will marry the women off his choice. A partner who needs daddies/mummies approval is not yet mature to get married. > And I'm not saying these things just because I've > been a part of the > Goanet Cybermatrimonials column ;-) which > incidentally is being prepared for its shortly-due > release by Christina Pinto in Australia. I have no problems with matrimonial services. They do help people meet and find partners. My problem is with the parents who insist they know who is the best spouse for their kids. Mervyn3.0 By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com _______________________________________________ Goanet mailing list Goanet@lists.goanet.org http://lists.goanet.org/listinfo.cgi/goanet-goanet.org