What happens when a soldier dies
By Gus Biggio May 27 at 6:54 PM

Gus Biggio served as a Marine in Afghanistan in 2009.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/what-happens-when-a-soldier-dies/2018/05/27/18073e86-6031-11e8-9ee3-49d6d4814c4c_story.html

“I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who 
have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who 
cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell.”

– William Tecumseh Sherman

We choose to serve. And when we choose to serve, sometimes chance chooses us. 
Every deployed service member leaves behind someone who cares, someone who, 
when giving one last hug before their warrior ships out, feels their pride 
clash with the fear that this last hug might be the last hug. After that, every 
call from an unknown number, every unexpected knock on the door, reignites the 
constant worry in the daily lives of those on the home front, making them 
shudder at the prospect of what might be.

When an American service member is killed overseas, a casualty assistance 
officer, or CAO, tries to reach the family in the morning, in the relative 
privacy of their home, rather than making a call to an office or lingering in 
the neighborhood, waiting for a spouse or parent to come home.

The families might hear the closing thud of car doors — CAOs always travel in 
pairs — and then see two service members in dress uniforms approaching their 
door. Some greet the CAOs on their doorstep, knowing there is only one reason 
anybody wearing that uniform would be visiting. Others slam the door in the 
officers’ faces or even forcefully confront them. It takes a resolute heart, 
edged with compassion, to ask:

“Are you — ?”

Some have tears welling in their eyes; some stand with stoic poise; others are 
in dumbstruck shock; but when they reply “Yes,” the next words deliver the 
crushing news: “We regret to inform you that . . . ” They hear the name and the 
word “killed,” but everything else comes as a blur.

Thousands of miles away, others prepare for the homecoming. Packed in ice in an 
airtight aluminum casket, with an American flag draped and secured on top, the 
blue star field at the head, the fallen warrior is carried onto an awaiting 
plane. Others stand at attention, saluting when their brother or sister in arms 
passes them a final time. When the plane arrives at a U.S. Air Force base, the 
awaiting family is given some moments alone with their loved one before the 
journey to a final resting place begins.

For some, that place is a small plot in their home town. Others go to one of 
the national cemeteries. The most famous is Arlington, across the river from 
our nation’s capital, where thousands of our nation’s heroes are buried. They 
lie under symmetrically sculpted headstones, simply engraved and aligned with 
those of the others resting there, who were buried after a somber and precise 
ceremony.

The family is seated, and a horse-drawn caisson brings the coffin to the 
gravesite. Other soldiers, sailors, airmen or Marines march with the carriage, 
keeping in step with the quiet cadence murmured by a non-commissioned officer 
(NCO). At the gravesite, pallbearers lift the casket from the caisson and carry 
it to a platform. A chaplain reads a prayer; friends make tear-choked speeches, 
and behind the crowd a team raises their rifles, firing into the air three 
times. The sudden crack of rounds jolts the senses of the mourners. Taps are 
played while the flag that was draped over the casket is tightly folded and 
handed to an officer or senior NCO, who approaches a spouse, a parent or a 
child, kneels, and says, “On behalf of the president of the United States . . . 
and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation 
for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.”

In an era when military service is the exception rather than the norm, the 
deaths of our service members in combat is often a concept as distant as the 
lands where they fought. Local newspapers may run an article about the hometown 
hero, but usually, little attention is paid to a life cut short in service to 
our nation, the loss drowned out among news of celebrity gossip, political 
shenanigans or the other minutiae that consume our lives. The families of those 
killed in action are soon left to face their grief as well as they can, often 
alone. For them, the ceremonies honoring their loved ones are a stark reminder 
that one of the constant realities of war throughout history is that bad things 
will happen to good people.

This Memorial Day, take a moment to honor and remember them.
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