*Study: Women Are in Charge at Home*
*Jeanna Bryner* *LiveScience Staff Writer* *LiveScience.com * * http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20070711/sc_livescience/studywomenareinchargeathome * *Men might throw their weight around at the office, but at home, women are the bosses. A study, which was just released, finds that wives have more power than their husbands in making decisions and dominating discussions. * *"The study at least suggests that the marriage is a place where women can exert some power," said lead author David Vogel, a psychologist at **Iowa** **State** **University** (ISU). "Whether or not it**'**s because of changing societal roles, we don**'**t know." * The results counter past research. "Most of the research literature in psychology has suggested that women have less power," Vogel told LiveScience. "They have largely based that on the fact that traditionally men earn more money and so therefore would have the ability to make big decisions in the relationship." That wasn't the case in this study. Spouse survey says *Vogel, Megan Murphy, also of ISU, and their colleagues surveyed 72 married couples in which the spouses were an average of 33 years old and had been married for about seven years. Most of the participants (66 percent) were Caucasian, followed by Asian (22 percent), Hispanic (5 percent) and African American (4 percent). The final 3 percent represented "other" nationalities. * * * *Each spouse answered questions about relationship satisfaction and overall decision-making ability. Then, each spouse noted a relationship problem that could not be resolved without the spouse's cooperation. While money and housework were popular picks, sex didn't come up much as a marital issue. * Topics chosen by husbands/wives included: - *Money—18 percent (husbands) / 13 percent (wives) * - *Housework—15 percent / 15 percent * - *Friends and family—10 percent / 19 percent * - *Feelings and emotions—10 percent / 13 percent * - *Time together—13 percent / 10 percent * - *Making decisions—18 percent / 4 percent * - *Sex—4 percent / 1percent * - *Intimacy—1 percent / 1 percent * - *Communication—3 percent / 4 percent * - *Children—husbands never chose this topic; 3 percent of wives * - *Other relationship changes—4 percent / 17 percent * The scientists videotaped the couples while they discussed each of the issues for 10 minutes. *Women power * Trained volunteers coded the videotapes using a scale that rated couples' interactions based on words and behaviors associated with blame (blames, accuses and criticizes the partner); demand (nags, pressures for change, requests); withdrawal and avoidance (avoids discussion the problem by hesitating, changing topics, diverting attention or looking away); and discussion. *Wives were more demanding—asking for changes in the relationship or in their partner—and were more likely to get their way than the husbands. This held regardless of who had chosen the issue. * The women were not just talking more than their husbands. *"It wasn**'**t just that the women were bringing up issues that weren**'**t being responded to, but that the men were actually going along with what they said," Vogel explained. "[Women] were communicating more powerful messages, and men were responding to those messages by agreeing or giving in." * *One reason for in-charge wives could be that they carry the weight of making sure the family farm is running smoothly. * * * *"Women are responsible for overseeing the relationship, making sure the relationship runs, that everything gets done, and that everybody**'**s happy," Murphy said. * * * *Wife power could signal a harmonious couple. "There**'**s been research that suggests that**'**s a marker of a healthy marriage—that men accept influence from their wives," Murphy said. * The study, published in the April issue of the Journal of Counseling Psychology, was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health along with ISU. *Motherhood Versus Career -- No Tradeoff for Me* * * *Posted by Nikki Gemmell<http://blogs.health.yahoo.com/intlwomen/intlwomen/bio/nikkigemmell>on **Wed, Apr 05, 2006**, **3:12 pm PDT** * * http://blogs.health.yahoo.com/intlwomen/intlwomen/936/motherhood-versus-careerno-tradeoff-for-me;_ylt=Av9TC5OXocWfN1HeaQ4YNOJVgc0F * One of the longstanding and great debates<http://imaginingourselves.imow.org/pb/SubTheme.aspx?id=25&lang=1>among women is over whether or not it is possible to be both a mother and a career woman. For me, my decision to be a mother actually helped me to follow my heart and finally pursue my dream of being a novelist. *When I had children I had to rethink my career. I was a full-time radio journalist for the BBC world service in its **London** newsroom which is a 24-hour global news service. Working there was very demanding as it operates 24-7. One week in three were overnight shifts and they were over eleven hours long. So you would get into work at eight at night and leave at **seven o**'**clock** the next morning. It was grueling work. It was also wonderfully exciting. I thought "Wow! I**'**m working for the BBC, one of the most venerated journalistic institutions in the world - this is fantastic!" But I couldn**'**t sustain it when I decided that I wanted to have children. * I remember I took maternity leave from the "Beeb" (BBC) just before my first child was born and I never went back. For some reason I lost my confidence as a career woman. I had been a high-power journalist, producer and announcer on the BBC, but I found something changed within me when I had kids. I had to rethink my career. And in a way, it freed me up to become a full-time writer and novelist. *I**'**d wanted to be a full-time novelist ever since I was ten years old, but I was raised by my mother, a single woman (my parents were divorced), who**'**d always said to me, "You must never rely on anyone else to get you through life. Financially never rely on a man. Always have your own means of support." "Because," she said, "That will give you strength, courage and independence." And I always had that in my head. * So, even though I'd always wanted to be a writer, when I went to university I thought, "I can't just be a poet sobbing in a garret because I can't make a living out of that." Consequently, I fell into journalism straight after university both to survive financially and to be all those things my mother wanted me to be - strong and independent and totally self-reliant. Then when I had a child in my early thirties I just felt, "Okay, I have to take a step back from this whole career thing and I still have to have an income. Maybe it's time now to try the dream full-time." And that's what I did. *I**'**ve been a full-time novelist ever since and it**'**s the hardest thing I**'**ve ever done, particularly combining it with motherhood. But it is definitely the most rewarding thing I**'**ve ever done. I finally followed my heart, followed my instincts and garnered what I really wanted to do in life. It**'**s taken me ten, twelve years of full-time work to realize that the most satisfying life is a life doing what you really want to do.* I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your beautiful comments in response to my other blog entries. Your posts reaffirm just how grateful I am that I followed my heart, summoned the courage and pursued my dream of being a novelist.
