It depends why you love him; and if you really love him or if it is
just an obsession. I don't believe we were given hearts of stone to
perform purely contractual marriages with no feelings between the two
people; and while Islam does provide safeguards and a tahir type of
love, because the two do not know each other before marriage, so they
learn only about their spouses once they do marry, and it is that
other person they learn to trust and to share their feelings and life
with, when there is an overwhelming feeling between two people (more
than just lust) I don't think it should be ignored. It is like when
you meet someone and you are totally comfortable with them even
though you may know nothing about them, in some way, perhaps in
another life they were in your life for a reason. You say the reason
you could not marry the person you love was because of your families;
so what are you now betrothed to? A loveless existence based on
pretense? Allah did not create love to be ignored, you should find a
way to work that out; but I do not mean by committing zina. If you
could work it out between the families, then try to be with the one
you may have been destined for.
Salaams,
angelofansar
--- In islamcity@yahoogroups.com, Saba Khan wrote:
>
> QUESTION
> I would like to know if it is haram to be in love with
> someone other than your spouse?
> I was inlove with someone that I could not be married
> to because of our families. However, I am married now
> to someone else, yet I still feel love for the other
> person. I feel that I should be married to the one I
> love. I always think of that person even during
> intimate moments with my spouse and I feel I am being
> untruthful and unfare to this marriage. I have tried
> for the past two years (since I've been married) to
> forget about that person and move on. I understand
> that to be in love or fall in love with someone other
> than your spouse in baseless according to Islam. But
> what shall a person do when facing this dilema? How do
> I achieve control over my emotions? Please understand
> that I have no communication or contact with the one
> I'm inlove with. We have not spoken since before my
> wedding 2 years ago. Your detailed answer will be
> greatly appreciated and helpful!
> InshAllah...Aslamalakum
>
> ANSWER
> There are two types of love: voluntary and
> involuntary.
>
> The involuntary love is where there is a feeling of
> love in the heart. But
> one does not cultivate or pursue this feeling. One
> tries to ignore this
> feeling but it causes pain. For this pain, one will be
> rewarded. The more
> one makes Sabr, uses one intellect and understands
> that it is not practical
> to follow the demands of this love, then one is
> drawing closer to Allah Ta'
> ala due to the Sabr (patience) one is adopting.
>
> The second type of love is voluntary. After
> experiencing the feeling of love
> in the heart, one contemplates about the beloved one.
> To have this type of
> love for someone besides one's wife is sinful. It is
> sinful to intentionally
> fantasise about this other woman. If at the time of
> intimacy with one;s
> wife, one fantasises about this other woman, then you
> will be considered to
> be making Zina. You will get the sin of Zina because
> of your intentions
> while your wife will get no sin.
>
> The solution is to ignore this love in the heart. Do
> not contemplate or
> fantasise about this person and avoid contact with
> her. If any thought about
> this woman involuntarily enters the mind, ignore it.
> Ignoring it causes you
> pain then make Sabr, for which you will be highly
> rewarded. If you pass away
> in this state, then, Insha Allah, you will receive the
> reward of one who was
> martyred in the path of Allah Ta'ala.
>
> Make Du'aa unto Allah Ta'ala to replace the love of a
> mortal with his
> eternal love. May Allah Ta'ala grant us all his true
> love, Aameen.
>
> and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
>
> Mufti Ebrahim Desai
> FATWA DEPT.
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
***************************************************************************
{Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.} (Holy Quran-16:125)
{And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33)
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said, "Whoever calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all." [Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recommended:
http://www.islamonline.net
http://www.islam-guide.com
http://www.prophetmuhammadforall.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
All views expressed herein belong to the individuals concerned and do not in any way reflect the official views of IslamCity unless sanctioned or approved otherwise.
If your mailbox clogged with mails from IslamCity, you may wish to get a daily digest of emails by logging-on to http://www.yahoogroups.com to change your mail delivery settings or email the moderators at [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the title "change to daily digest".
SPONSORED LINKS
| Holy quran |
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
- Visit your group "islamcity" on the web.
- To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
- Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
