Marriage to the Ahle Kitab
(A summary from the treatise: The General Harm Caused to Muslim Youth)
by Sheikh Abdullah Ibn Zaid Âl Mahmûd,
Chief Justice of Shariah Court, Head of lslâmic Affairs, Qatar
Allâh has created women and men as complementary partners to each other.
Concerning women and their role with men, Allâh says:
"So that you (men) find rest and joy in them." (30-21).
While He has made women the 'queen' and the mother in the home, He has charged
men with the responsibility of seeing to the needs of their women folk, and
their wives.
Therefore, in marriage, one has to choose a spouse who has the same spiritual
outlook and who has adopted lslâm as his or her way of life and be able to
fulfil the requisite roles. He or she must have the correct aqâid [beliefs] and
practically manifest these in the performance of salâh and fasting, etc.
Concerning a woman who possesses such qualities, Rasûlullâh Sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam has said: "The woman who performs her five daily saâh, guards her
chastity and obeys her husband, can enter Jannah by whichever door she desires.
(Sahîh Ibn Hibbân)
Obviously these noble attributes can only be found in a pious Muslim woman,
since Din is the only true means of enhancing one's character and protecting
one against vile qualities. Nabî Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also said, "The
best of goodness for a man after taq'wâ [fear of Allâh] is a pious wife. If he
instructs her, she obeys him. If he looks at her, she makes him happy. If he
takes an oath vouching for her, she upholds him, and when he is away from her,
she guards herself (i.e. her chastity) and his wealth. (Ibn Majah)
A woman is the first and everlasting Madrasah for her children, and the
guardian of her home. Her adornment of herself with noble qualities and
beautiful character will invariably pass on to her children and everyone else
in her home. Therefore, the Hadîth has it that: "Choose the one who is
religious, otherwise you will be dishonoured." (Sahîh Muslim)
Now, when a Mu'min [believer] is exhorted to choose a pious Muslim woman as his
marriage partner as against an impious Muslim woman, this is all the more
reason why he should not marry a Kitâbiyyah [A Christian or Jewish woman who in
this context maintains her religion without converting to Islâm].
Firstly, she has no Dîn. Then again our experience too has taught us that most
of the children of such unions end up themselves as Ahle-kitâb, since children
generally identify more easily with their mothers. They spend more time with
them, follow their example and accept their teachings whether good or bad, even
more easily. This has been witnessed on a large scale in Lebanon and Egypt. In
many countries, one will find that daughters of such marriages prefer marrying
Christians because of the encouragement and influence of their mothers. And
this is totally unacceptable and harâm in Islâm. It occurs especially when the
father dies, and the mother's influence and control is now consolidated on her
children. So, the children are nurtured according to the Christian mother's way
of life and belief. Not long afterwards, they begin to soil their chests with
the symbol of the cross and gradually reinforce their inclination towards
Christianity. In other
words, it Is as if the father of such children had voluntarily surrendered his
own children into the dens of kufr, and opened for them the gate of Jahannam.
Many young people who favour such marriages seem to be unduly impressed by the
mannerism of the kuffâr and this is due to their own lack of appreciation of
the real value of lslâm in their lives. Such people cannot be expected to yield
any real lslâmic influence on their own children's deeds and character.
According to a well-known maxim, the period of youth has been referred to as a
period of madness. Therefore, we find that very seldom do the youth carefully
consider the consequences of their actions. Another disadvantage of such a
marriage is that when such a woman dies, the Muslim husband does not inherit
from her such a marriage is that when such a woman dies, the Muslim husband
does not inherit from her estate because of the principal of 'the difference of
religion' according to nass [explicit textual evidence] and ijmâ [consensus].
Another argument presented in support of such marriages is that these women are
generally well educated and posses very refined manners. As Muslims, we should
realise that the Western educational system which these woman have been put
through, is in reality the pinnacle of jahl [ignorance] and dalâl [deviation].
They have been nurtured on such a way of life that condones and takes a very
lenient view of intoxicants, disobedience to Allâh and the kufr belief in the
divinity of Îsa alayhi salâm. Among the ideals of Western education today, is
the silly feminist notion of the 'freedom' of women which has it that a woman
should do whatever she wills independently without subjecting herself to the
authority of a husband, or any other male in her life. Imagine the consequences
of this, when, apart from being one of defective intelligence, her 'education'
has now further impaired her ability to discern good from bad and ignorance
from knowledge.
Without doubt, a Muslim woman is definitely purer in her ways, manners,
cleanliness and refinement of character. Allâh, declares: "And a believing
slave woman is better than an idolatress even though she may allure you." (2:22)
Yes, the heathen woman may be well spoken, proficient in her language and may
be able to read and write very well. But this is nothing as against the evils
she has been subtly indoctrinated to accept as permissible and a normal part of
life, like adultery, wine-drinking, nudity, and shamelessness, etc. It is the
same educational system, which robs her of her modesty and allows her to swim
nakedly and in the full gaze of men, and to travel long distances all by
herself. It has also taught her to freely and closely associate with whomsoever
she wishes and to even remain with him in privacy. Hence, there can hardly be
any surprise when such people accept, among other things, that adultery is not
wrong unless in the case of rape or in the bedroom of her husband. Modern day
Christian (western) societal norms also dictate that a woman rises above her
husband's authority. What a world of difference between a woman of such a
background and a Muslim woman brought
up in a pure, pristine home, on a wholesome existence, higher ideals and
believing in the importance of physical and spiritual purity!
Another argument often presented in favour of marrying such women is that it is
permissible according to the Qur'ân. Here it should be understood that the
permissibility was in order to facilitate the entry of Christians into Islam
and to spread Islâm among other nations, as well as for the purpose of
demonstrating to non-Muslims the generosity of Islâm. In the golden, early days
of Islâm, when Islâm reigned supreme above all other religions, whenever a
woman married a Muslim, she would, after observing her husband's Islâmic and
pure way of life, accept his beliefs, and willingly become a Muslim. History
bears ample testimony to this.
Another pre-condition for the permissibility of marrying such women is that
they must be muhsanah [chaste]. Allâh says: "And those who are chaste from
among those who were given the book before you." (5:5)
In the light of this, it is no secret that the majority of Christian and Jewish
girls today do not fulfill this criterion since, as has been already mentioned,
adultery, except in the case of rape or a spouse's unfaithfulness has become
accepted as a norm. Not only have the majority of Christians and Jews today
acquiesced to the legality of adultery, sodomy, and the consumption of wine,
they even regard such condonement as allowing the individual his right to the
'freedom of choice', and to make matters worse, many are even proud to do so.
Now, let us think that if they fail to even regard adultery anymore as a sin,
could the condition of chastity ever be found in such people?
Today, it is not uncommon to find unmarried Christian and Jewish men and women
experiment with 'marriage' before marriage for lengthy periods of time, and
experience has shown that in most cases, they separate after short
experiments'. They show a preference to live-in partners over spouses and
prefer this kind of harâm situations over marriage and regard this sacred
contract as a burden. We have seen that Christian women of the past would
maintain good morals and guard their chastity, whereas the western woman of
today views adultery as a permissible jaunt if committed by mutual consent,
just as she has 'accepted' sodomy and homosexuality as normal behaviour.
Furthermore, not only are these sins viewed merely as sexual preferences but
they are actually 'protected' by laws legislated in parliament.
Consequence
As a result of this evil (i.e. Muslim boys marrying Christian and Jewish
women), many of our Muslim girls today remain unmarried in the homes -of their
fathers, their youth completely wasted away and their years swiftly passing by,
while Muslim boys are covetously chasing after other women. When Hazrat Huzaifa
Ibn Yâman married a Jewish woman in Madâin,
Amîrûl Mu'minîn Hazrat Umar wrote to him ordering him to leave her. "Is it
harâm?" asked Hazrat Huzaifa "Before putting down my letter," wrote Hazrat Umar
"resolve to separate from her, for I fear that other Muslim men will follow
your example in choosing non-Muslim women because of their beauty. And this
will be a great temptation for our Muslim women."
Now, more than ever before, it is the duty of every responsible Muslim,
especially the heads of states to purge their societies of disbelief and
apostasy and particularly those elements which generate them. They are
duty-bound to keep away the sick and contagion-infected camels from the healthy
ones and make every effort to prevent this evil from spreading. It is an
accepted fact that contagion of character is far worse than the contagion of
bodies and that prevention is better than cure.
Our Nabi Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "Do not choose as a companion anyone
but a Mu'min and none should eat your food save a pious person." The indecency
and immorality that have crept into Muslim-Arab societies of today are as a
result of inter-mingling with Western and Christian Arab women, bereft of Dîn
and acceptable character. The rot set in slowly when the Muslims began to learn
their ways and ape their dressing. First, they began to reveal their hands up
to the elbow. Then, the shoulders became uncovered until finally the legs up to
the thighs became exposed. No longer was it unacceptable for men to walk about
bareheaded and for women to brazenly reveal the hair of the head, face and
neck. This was a reversion to the days of the period of the First Ignorance. As
a result of blind following, first the younger women and then the older ones
became enmeshed in this corruption.
The most sacred and prized possessions of a Muslim woman are her Dîn, honour,
and modesty, which is safeguarded by concealing herself from strangers..
Message
Therefore, our message to our dear Muslim youth is: Allâh has honoured you with
lslâm and granted you superiority over others in the event of you fully
adopting the Islâmic way of life. Remember, it is your responsibility to
withhold yourselves from following your base desires, to adorn yourself with
noble qualities, and to safeguard yourselves from all evil. And for the sake of
our children and your home, select a Muslim woman only, who will protect you
regarding her chastity, your possessions and your family, and who will be a
true friend and advisor in all your affairs. Our Nabi Sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam has said: "The world is an object of benefit and the best of it is a
pious woman." (Mishkât)
Highlighting her role, Allâh Subhana wa Ta'âla has referred to the wife as "the
companion at one's side." (36:4)
Therefore, in view of the above, a true indication of the foolishness of a man
is his choice of a woman who does not have lmân. The disastrous consequences of
such foolishness on himself, his wealth and his family cannot be
over-emphasized, History bears testimony to this.
These words of caution apply equally with regard to all non-Muslim women,
whether Arab or non-Arab, since such women can never be expected to fulfil
their responsibility with regard to the Islâmic essentials like tahârah
[physical cleanliness], salâh, fasting, etc., and cannot be supportive of their
husbands in their religious observances. When today's westernised Christian or
Jewish woman frowns upon the idea of obedience to a husband, how could it be
correct, or even thinkable, for a Muslim man to choose such a woman as his wife?
Sadly, many of our youth seem to be inclined towards a life of permissiveness
and freedom from all Dinî and rational restrictions and are over-awed by the
merely superficial things in life. They view everything with the eye of their
emotions and not the eye of their mind and reason. As a result, they end up
choosing the inferior over that which is superior. They feel, and this is
indeed the height of ignorance, that progress and cultural refinement is to be
found in people who are the products of an alcoholic, shamelessly naked and
morally bankrupt Christian or Jewish society. They should bear in mind that
should they persist on this course of deviation and destruction, and fail to
return to the path of obedience to Allâh Subhana wa Ta'âla, then they too shall
go down in history as losers in this world and the Âkhirah. This is certainly a
great and costly price to pay for treading the path of evil and obeying our
desires in this short life, and a far
cry indeed from the way of our pious predecessors who had, under all
conditions, held fast to the Dîn of Allâh, the Lord of the worlds.
