Protecting the child By Muhammad Ali Alkhuli
Islam looks at the woman as a wife and a mother. In contrast, some non-Islamic societies look at the woman mainly as a female at the expense of her role as a wife and her role as a mother. As a result, Islam shapes instructions to suit the woman's role as a wife and the woman's role as a mother, because the family needs a wife dedicated to her husband and a mother dedicated to her children. We said that Islam blocks the way to illegitimate children by blocking the ways leading to illegal sexual intercourse. This is one way to protect the child. The second way to protect the child is to protect the family. When marriage takes place, a new family is established. When children are born, the family grows in number. Islam protects the family from divorce, which damages all the members of the family. Islam does not allow the husband to intermingle freely with other women so as to protect his relation with his wife. Islam does not allow the wife to intermingle freely with other men so as to protect her relation with her husband. In Islam, the husband is wholly tied to his wife and the wife is wholly tied to her husband. This is the only way to protect marriage from divorce, to protect the family from destruction, and to protect children from fatherlessness, motherlessness, or both. In contrast, in societies that allow the two sexes to intermingle freely, there are two main problems. First, in such societies there are many cases of illegal intercourse and illegitimate children. Secondly, marriage does not live long and divorce is the end of most marriages. Of course, divorce is not only the end of marriage, but also the beginning of problems for the ex-husband, the ex-wife, and their children. I must admit that although the Western countries are scientifically and technologically progressive and are sensitive to statistics related to industry and economy, they do not show the same sensitivity to statistics related to social life. When a Western economist considers the figures and numbers of a certain economy, he concludes something about that economy. In contrast, when a Western sociologist or psychologist considers the statistics of divorce in his country, he concludes nothing. In some Western countries, 60 per cent of marriages end up with divorce. What does this mean? It simply means that the social structure there destroys marriage and that the Western way of life nowadays leads to the destruction of marriage and the destruction of the family. This result is not difficult to expect. In the West, the two sexes mingle freely; alcohol is drunk as frequently as water; women are almost naked everywhere. The result of this mixture is clear. In some non-Islamic countries, the formula now is this: males + females + alcohol + feminine nakedness = illegitimate children + destruction of marriage + homeless children. In contrast, the Islamic formula is exactly the opposite: males separated from females + no alcohol + feminine decency = legitimate children + protection of marriage + protected children. I think it is time for Western specialists in psychology and sociology to look into the statistics about their social diseases and to compare these statistics with others in Islamic countries in order to have a practical clue about the difference between Islam and non-Islam. Islam protects the child by protecting the family and by protecting marriage. Islam guarantees a true father and a true mother for every child and thus secures the psychological health of the child. What Islam says about marital violence issue? By Waseema Hameed Qureshi Men and women have been endowed differently. Male and female gender qualities don't match. Although a woman can function as the breadwinner, while being both the bearer as well as caretaker of the family offspring, a man is constituted only to meet the requirements of the tough outdoor life. For the special responsibility a physically enabled female shares with nature in the grand task of procreation, a male has to, as Allah's vicegerent, carry out this delegated responsibility of providing, protecting and comforting his marital partner to the best of his ability. Let there be no mistake in understanding that Islam has not in any case allowed violence against the weak and least of all against women. Allah has indeed, been highly Gracious and Merciful in issuing mankind the Book which instructs us through our difficulties in life. Every word of His Message means to direct us towards righteousness in the present life and better rewards for the Hereafter. Indeed, mistaken are those who misinterpret Qur'aanic verses as word of permission to execute violence against women such as when it quotes: 'Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them excel over the other, and because they spend out of their possessions. Thus, righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection. As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them. Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great.' (4:34) All human societies set up courts in one form or the other which are allowed to function by social consensus, to warn, punish with hard labour or imprison social offenders. Even doting mothers often use corporal punishment to admonish children who refuse to obey rules of discipline. When warnings and reasoning cannot pump sense into an adult, other options have to be tried to help secure the survival of family life. Methods may vary according to needs. But the core purpose is to firmly safeguard the interests of all concerned persons. It doesn't matter if some degree of harshness is used to restore marital unity and harmony, but it definitely is devastating when acts of defiance should fall on deaf ears and be allowed to disrupt family life, render the system nonfunctioning and in turn, rob the self-esteem and confidence of those young ones who, God has trusted us with to nurture and protect. Marital disputes, no doubt, are best resolved within the privacy of home, particularly when the repute of modesty (a woman) is at stake. It is all the more preferable if one of the two partners-in-relationship is to act as a mediator, for they are better known to each other than outsiders. In this respect, the husband, as provider has been chosen for the task of straightening up of household matters whenever things start getting out of hands. In fact, this is a tough to put into practice, for in case of misuse of his position Allah has warned of grievous punishment for injustice. The Almighty surely did not intend to encourage marital violence, as some people do misinterpret, because He has categorically declared: 'Those who annoy believing men and women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a calumny and a glaring sin.' (33:58) So, the above decree was issued undoubtedly, with the high purpose of protecting the sanctity of home-life. Here we also find, how the above verse distinctly restricts the degree of authority Allah, the most Merciful, places in a man to act as a reformer in marital matters. A reformer cannot reform others before placing himself into the frame of reform first. Any true believer, who imagines living in the omnipotent presence of the Lord, cannot possibly dare take advantage of his position to make another person's existence subject to difficulty. If a man resorts to violence using lame excuses, he should know that: 'Those who slander chaste, indiscreet and believing women are cursed in life and in the Hereafter: For them is a grievous Chastisement on the day when their tongues, their hands and their feet will bear witness against them as to their actions.' Before claiming to act as Allah's vicegerent to reform women-folk, therefore, a man must give himself a thorough check up. He has to see that the rebellious attitude of his wife is not a result of and hence a silent protest against his own waywardness. Allah doesn't intend women into slavery of men by disallowing them an equally active part in the outdoor side of this material life. Allah, nowhere in his Book excludes females from the right to use own discretion and free will. His Limits are for the best interest of mankind and both men as well as women have to comply with those limits, not under social pressure but through a wholehearted acceptance of Allah's commands. Things, we know, don't work with half-hearted commitments. In case of defiant behaviour, a man can use a can for his wife, yes, but Allah, the oft-forgiving, the most Merciful, hasn't left women unshielded against injustice. He quotes: 'And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes and reject their evidence ever after: For such men are wicked transgressors.' (24:4) This is a serious notice to the people who choose to abuse women emotionally and physically without adequate and ample evidence to support their views. Allah has indeed proposed very terse physical sentence and public humiliation as a reward for the perpetrators of violence in the present life and an everlasting grievous punishment for the Hereafter. It is for this very reason that despite the decree, nowhere in the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) or his followers in Islam, one finds a single example of wife-beating or marital violence in general. Discussion, reasoning and intervention by family members were always the preferred methods used to put family matters in order. Islam believes in free expression of opinion. An Islamic ruler serves the subjects with true spirited fear of God. The burden of sovereignty humbles him down to being self-critical about personal character and possessions. The caliphs of Islam took public criticism with exemplary humility and apology, where necessary. They were wise and self-conscious about human erring. They faced the world with fortitude to self-correct. Their deeds outline the unique character, a role model would need to adapt as Allah's servant, begging for His forgiveness every step of the way, as they did. The code of practice attached with a decree of this nature is so frighteningly strict and burdening that there is, of course, no room for some fool to gratify himself by readily offering to hold the reigns of His jurisdiction only to serve personal whims. The domestic unit, therefore, could not be exempted from a universally accepted necessity, which demands someone at the top management seat to run the household affairs under one command. There has to be a captain for each individual vessel just as there has to be a leader to direct a unit of soldiers towards a goal. This being an acknowledged fact that two managers cannot be appointed in the same rank, only one could be chosen to become the head. Allah as Creator has the best knowledge of His creations and hence if He decreed a male to be the captain of the domestic ship, his marital partner should have no qualms in accepting His command whole-heartedly. We must realise that this is to ensure the social and moral welfare and security of human race, within the means of how we have been constituted. We must appreciate the knowledge that a place of leadership means meeting a challenge to reform self first of all. The fear of the Almighty should thus, change the ferocity of a man's temperament into humbleness, his egoism into servitude and his heedlessness into concern Courtesy: Islamic Magazine IQRA Friday, August 08, 2008 ________________________________ Confidentiality Note : This message is intended for the recipient named above. It may contain confidential or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by replying to this message and then delete it from your system. Do not read, copy, use or circulatethis communication. For more information about us, Please visit our website www.etaascon.com
