A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat
lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the
supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new
wife to his beastly emissions.

On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her that
he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of
baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home,
he figured he could indulge and then walk off any ill effects. So he had
three extra large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed,
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table,
making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel
something coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang and she went to answer it.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one
leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped
and felt for his napkin, and fanned the air about him. He had just started
to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel
engine revving, and smelled even worse. He tried flapping his arms to clear
the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on
the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.

When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on
his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence
when she walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner
table. He assured her that he had not, so she removed the blindfold and
yelled, "Surprise!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were 12 dinner guests seated around the table
for his surprise birthday party.

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