I have seen some of these before but still find them amusing. I
particularly like the one about a self-made man. Know a few people like
that!!
Jeanette Fischer, Western Cape, South Africa.
When Insults Had Class ...............
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho
Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it." -- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar
Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...
followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is
one." -- Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --
Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." --
Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar
Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston,
if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
Woman saying to Churchill : 'Sir you are drunk' and he replied ' 'And you,
Madam, are ugly but tomorrow I'll be sober!'
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