> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," > which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct > the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the > gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews > lack a sense of humor. > > Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots > marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance > engineers. > > By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an > accident. > ... Enjoy! > > > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > > > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > > P: Something loose in cockpit. > S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > S: Live bugs on back-order. > > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > S: Evidence removed. > > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > S: That's what they're for. > > > P: IFF inoperative. > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > P: Suspected crack in windshield. > S: Suspect you're right. > > > P: Number 3 engine missing. > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > > P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > > P: Target radar hums. > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > P: Mouse in cockpit. > S: Cat installed. > > And the best one for last.................. > > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding > on something with a hammer. > S: Took hammer away from midget
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
